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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

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This guy goes into a pub
On his left shoulder is a beautiful parrot. On his right shoulder a cat

He goes up to the bar and asks the parrot if he wants a drink , parrot says yes

He asks the cat if he wants a drink,  yes, but I'm not paying

It's OK, I'll pay

They drink up then the parrot says ,shall we have another , the cat replies , yes but I'm not paying

The parrot says it's OK, I'll pay

They drink up then the guy asks if they're having a third , cat says yes but I'm not paying
At this point the barman says , what's with the cat not wanting to stand his round

The man says , it's this genies fault

I asked for an exotic bird with a tight pussy and this is what I got

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5 hours ago, Lord Sterling said:

I've just had a look at the Renault 25 thread ūüė¶


Is it Autoshites time of the month or now something?

....Car for sale....


...is generally how it across to me.  I've had my laugh for today. I shall now go for a nap.

The OP has a record of selective amnesia, flakey behaviour and being a massive hypocrite; flak he takes is earnt.

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Saw on the news the aircraft that landed in Denver missing a lot of it's starboard engine. People on the ground filming bits of the engine falling to earth.

On youtube somebody remarked  "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit glue sniffing"VibrantUncommonArgentineruddyduck-small.gif.88e7c304c634038d9796997cfd88e078.gif

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39 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

Who the fuck stands under a load under a crane ?

Pretty much anyone in a city centre being developed with tower cranes dotted about.

Apart from that - the two plonkers in the video.

I'm not 100% certain but there's a clue at the start of the video with some alarm wailing away - then stops. I think the alarm was the crane's warning that it was approaching its limit. I think it fell silent  because the moron crane operator turned the 'over-ride' key to silence it and continue to operate . . . .right up until the point it overturned.

There is a remote possibility that the crane's safety system was not properly calibrated (I am aware of an incidence of this having investigated the cause of a mild 'topple' where the operator was good, sensible guy who trusted the SLI in the machine), but unlikely given the alarm going off at the start of the video.

Probably wrong.

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All voxalls are shite!

Sitting comfortable, cup of coffee in hand having just finished my tea and about to catch up on AS when there is a knock at the door. Now, those who have visited here will realise that it is a rare occurrence when pitch dark and 8pm. Gets up, looks out the window to see a gentleman with a torch shining on his "Police" badge on his uniform. Of course, my first thought is what have I done now? :-) 

Quick conversation and it turns out some people had got lost in the forest behind me (out for exercise in daylight and taken the wrong path) and police had told them to make their way out and the PC had come to collect them. At least this was the official story, not that I believe it, but not for me to question. The relevant bit was he was stuck in the mud in the entrance to the field behind next door  and had discovered there was no mobile signal. Could I help? :-) 

Grabbed a selection of ropes and shackles with a torch and headed over in the Disco. It was a 14 plate Disastra diesel estate in full markings but both rear wheels were off the ground due to the build up of mud under the axle. After looking under it I found there was absolutely nothing to attach to on the back. After a search we found the unused towing eye, popped out the cover and discovered all the thread in the socket had rusted away! After 20 minutes prone in the mud I found a transit tie down, but any rope that would go through would not be strong enough to pull the car out. 

At this point the PC asked if he could use my phone to call for help, though it was very obvious he did not want to when I realised it was a police car so all normal rules were off! I threaded a ratchet strap through the spokes of the nearside rear wheel and hitched it onto the disco, and low ratio and diff lock soon had it out. Annoyed with myself for not thinking of doing that earlier and save myself from a mud bath! No damage. Turned him round and he thanked me profusely, saying he was very grateful. My parting words well, if you see me go past, don't check the MOT and tax too carefully! He was still laughing as he drove off.

Beats watching the telly!

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7 hours ago, twosmoke300 said:

Who the fuck stands under a load under a crane ?

Someone with a wish to fulfil Darwin's theory, especially with the "beware; stupid" gong going off? WTF is the point of the lift anyway? A strop onto the RH chassis member and it would flip upright with no need for it to leave the ground.

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On 11/06/2019 at 12:59, LightBulbFun said:

decided to have another Bash at trouble shooting a Vintage Philips Radio I picked up in late 2013 from a charity shop in east Grinstead, at the time I deduced with a dim bulb tester and a variac that the mains input was dead short, but could not figure out how to pull the chassis out to investigate further

well I still have not figured that out, but did figure out how to get enough access to let me have a closer look at things

well I think I have sussed the issue :) 


snipped the sad looking capacitor out and no more mains short :)

only problem is im not sure what value this cap is so I can replace it properly, nor do I currently have any schematics, sadly it exploded right where the markings are and I can only make out a H33KP and a 6 bellow that

I think ill tentatively wire up the radio to my variac via dim bulb tester and see if I get any more life out of it

sadly this radio is full of these black caps (I know they have a name in the "trade" but i cant recall it atm, just that they like to fail like above LOL) so I know ill have to replace all of those at some point as well

if anyones wondering the Radio is a Philips 131U

edit: woop found schematics/service info https://www.doctsf.com/documents/schematheques/radio_anglais/PHILIPS/131U.PDF

edit2: looks like it was a 33nf cap across the mains for RF filtering, and those aint critical to operation so ill go ahead with testing

8 Sodding years, but thanks to some help from @R1152 (details of which can be found in the @beko1987-shite thread) I finally managed to figure out how to get the Chassis out of the case Woo!


now I can have a proper stab at getting it working again hopefully :)

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17 hours ago, somewhatfoolish said:

Someone with a wish to fulfil Darwin's theory, especially with the "beware; stupid" gong going off? WTF is the point of the lift anyway? A strop onto the RH chassis member and it would flip upright with no need for it to leave the ground.

The Spanish are very bureaucratic about vehicle recovery, so maybe the crane is mandatory. I've been stopped from giving a push start before now.

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20 minutes ago, 808 Estate said:

I have absolutely no need for this, but the want is strong. :)


I once got a bit of metal in my eye from being a tw6t using a mini-cutting tool and not wearing safety specs. Never ever again. Anyway, just after having the fleck of metal picked out of my eye the doctor told me I was lucky. The previous patient had been using a nail gun only for a nail to ricochet off the wall into his eye. Nice.  

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