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outlaw118

What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

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apparently I have damaged some of the Lifeguards memory cells at work .....

I strutted into the swimming pool area wearing a  giant medal around my neck  and a half unzipped hoodie  ,,,,,,,,

she has not been able to unsee the image  for 2 weeks so far ....

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My favourite step-niece-in-law (sister's stepdaughter!) has just returned from six months' overland trekking.  Her bloke went out to Sydney to meet her and they flew back together after a holiday in Oz.  Today, on a windswept Hampstead Heath, he popped the question and luckily she replied in the affirmative.

This makes me very happy.

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42 minutes ago, robinmasters said:

It's halt that time of year when some people* start posting on Facebook that is actually Christmas because they've seen the Coke advert with the lorry. Cunts. This makes me angry.

However, there is a new Coke advert with two old ladies using a dating/shagging app. One of their potential suitors is this chap, Woolarding on an Opel Monza (or a Senator?). 

Screenshot_20191011-185953_YouTube.thumb.jpg.c360ae79fed5e62ba7ab178e76710562.jpg

*fucking twats

Isn't that Eddy-Mr Ramrod

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12 minutes ago, chaseracer said:

My favourite step-niece-in-law (sister's stepdaughter!) has just returned from six months' overland trekking.  Her bloke went out to Sydney to meet her and they flew back together after a holiday in Oz.  Today, on a windswept Hampstead Heath, he popped the question and luckily she replied in the affirmative.

This makes me very happy.

My now brother in law ( 12 or so years now) lugged a bottle of champagne and diamond ring up and down several mountains in the Lake District waiting for the right time. 

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Chester has taken a deep and irrational dislike to the new and clean duvet cover. He has done everything on it today short of wiped his arse! Currently under it snoring with a Jumbone between his paws. Phoebe meanwhile is laying NEXT to her specially bought giant pillow. I bought it for her to keep her old and aching bones more comfortable and she refuses to sleep on it, but loves sleeping next to it, tip of her nose and one paw are comfortable at the moment :) 

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4 hours ago, reb said:

As I pointed out to said "tree hugger" my carbon footprint for the last 5 years is definitely less than his for the last 6 months and outside of milk bottles my household produces basically no plastic waste and I don't even heat the house. So he can FRO.

I dislike the attitude held by much of my own generation to the world. It's so far off my own lifestyle it's unbelievable.

I was walking the dog past asda a couple of weeks ago , a car backed up to a large bank of outdoor lockers with a screen in the middle of them, a guy about 25 got out, punched a code in and one of the lockers opened , I watched him pull some plastic bags full of food out, put them in his boot and drive off

so they now have a about 30 refrigerated lockers OUTSIDE a shop that's open 24 hours a day apart from sunday evening , fucking lazy cunts , it's shit like this they ought to be protesting against, 24/7 refrigeration just because some lazy twat doesn't want to do his shopping

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3 hours ago, richardmorris said:

My now brother in law ( 12 or so years now) lugged a bottle of champagne and diamond ring up and down several mountains in the Lake District waiting for the right time. 

Blows my flask of tea up a minor Welsh hill right out of the water!!! 

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The horrible bastard who my daughter had the 'trouble' with got sent down for a year yesterday.  It should have been more, but the fact he's been sent down is good enough, even if he only does do 6 months or something. I'm not a violent person, nor usually condone it, but it'll be a dreadful shame* if he gets the shoeing of a lifetime, several times over. You can't hide, even in prison.

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Well this is a bit brilliant. After filling up with 15.71 litres of the finest Applegreen petrol, the MPG readings were calculated as... 70MPG? You must be joking....

 

But wait! there's more. Brother Fumbler is quids in too, with his car making a magnificent 16 (!) MPG last fill.

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6 minutes ago, Fumbler said:

Well this is a bit brilliant. After filling up with 15.71 litres of the finest Applegreen petrol, the MPG readings were calculated as... 70MPG? You must be joking....

 

But wait! there's more. Brother Fumbler is quids in too, with his car making a magnificent 16 (!) MPG last fill.

I filled up a couple of days ago and  it came up as 43mpg - around 10mpg more that I usually get.

Downside is that it has been my son driving mainly, I only did an 80 mile round trip to Teesside

Almost 600 miles on less than a tank. Enough left for around 60 miles when the light comes on.

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17 hours ago, Wack said:

I was walking the dog past asda a couple of weeks ago , a car backed up to a large bank of outdoor lockers with a screen in the middle of them, a guy about 25 got out, punched a code in and one of the lockers opened , I watched him pull some plastic bags full of food out, put them in his boot and drive off

so they now have a about 30 refrigerated lockers OUTSIDE a shop that's open 24 hours a day apart from sunday evening , fucking lazy cunts , it's shit like this they ought to be protesting against, 24/7 refrigeration just because some lazy twat doesn't want to do his shopping

Assuming the locker doors are insulated that's a lot less of an enviro-fuck than the yards of refrigerated shelves with no doors or curtains that are inside every supermarket; there was an article in the paper recently about french supermarkets installing doors/curtains, it is a willful waste of energy solely because it helps them flog stuff to the gullible who apparently cannot operate doors. Anything which enables me to spend less time in a supermarket is worth paying a small premium for(except Didldidi as they have the aisle of mystery to draw me in).

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There's a dude 4 doors up with a black 2013 corsa. Someone keyed it a while back. I've just got in from shopping and outside with halfords finest rattle canning the whole offside. What an abortion. It's completely flat and patchy although he does have a can of laquer as well. I'll take some pictures tomorrow when I get up sharp.

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

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He keeps standing back and admiring it now like it's some form of art. No masking off and it looks like he's wiping it off with blue roll. This is a very zoomed in pic while I'm walking the dog.cc54bb54999a68cd5abde37f36d59ee9.jpg

Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk

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Two MOT passes back to back this morning.  Touran’s done nearly 20,000 miles since the last one - advisory for rear pads which are ‘in stock’.  Then my brother’s new-to-him Subaru - thankfully pronounced solid underneath and advised on front discs and a couple of bushes.  A slight blow from the Y pipe in front of the rear silencers nearly put the lambda over on the emissions test so need to see what can be done there.

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Been watching a few of the videos on the channel "AutomatricsMTrack" on YouTube this evening. A tracker company advertising their recovery operations for pinched vehicles.
The one below was particularly satisfying where they track a nicked Evoque to an industrial estate, turn up with the spare keys and stroll past the YOOTs who nicked it, jump in and fuck off with it.

Another entertaining one is where they track a nicked hire car to a supermarché in Calais, get on the Eurotunnel and find the thief sat in the drivers seat. He couldn't scarper with it as the hire company had some of their French colleagues go and let the tyres down.

The number of times they find a pinched car/bike/bit of plant and the police also identify other nicked vehicles at the site is mad.

Worth a watch I think.

 

 

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Topless turbo mx5 and the A roads back from Ilkley to Accrington surely must be one of the wonders of the world.

Heater cranked up to top and then give VXRs a bit of a surprise without breaking the speed limits

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People who drive cars newer than mine and the thing sounds like complete shite, screetching and rattling and they are totally oblivious to the fact it sounds like that, i just laugh and pat mine and say you might have been to the moon but you dont sound like that.

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