What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[AlabamaShrimp]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/151509949173

It was for a mk2 golf but the main pic was of a girls arse in pink pants. You bid for the car and got all her naked pics as she was cheating apparently.....

[NorfolkNWeigh]

And no,it's not photoshop.

[oman5]

image.jpg

And no,it's not photoshop.

 

Italian, it's pronounced "pol-chay"

[Alan_Green]

Talking of the Flying Squad.  This isn't photoshopped either.  It is a fake police car. Identical to the real thing:

[Bren]

In the run up to christmas I have advertised my vivariums on mongtree for a second time.

 

Just like before I seem to be attracting intellectually challenged people.

 

Despite giving a location, I keep getting asked where I am. It's in the ad, you can read it.

 

I have come to the conclusion that our country is irrevocably borked and that theiving oxygen should be made a criminal offence.

 

The only time I ever feel at peace is when I am on autoshite.

[Lord Sterling]

In contrast to the shit parcel delivery that some shiters have experienced, I had my parcel of a full set of rare rubber Merc mats delivered, so no more mud-on-carpet scenarios. Just need a couple of Grey W124 rear mats to go in the back for less Wintery times.

[saucedoctor]

Discovered Life on Mars is on amazon prime. Engage tv marathon.

 

It's on Showbox too. Speaking of Amazon, I just bought this. It's already annoying my missus.

[scruff]

New giffer add on spotted on my morning walk. Print out of vehicle tax confirmation sellotaped to corner of Honda shopping cart windscreen. 

[barefoot]

I had to queue for a yonk in the bank this morning, only three cashiers on

With another three hanging about on the ‘welcome’ counter
Whilst a dozen people queued.
I complained to a passing bank employee chap who just shrugged his shoulders & scurried away.

Now, 

No-one, but no-one shrugs their shoulders at me and walks away…

So, I have just got off the complaints line number.
They have found in my favour, 
They will be escalating it to the branch manager 
& examining CCTV footage.

In the meantime, they’re sending me a bottle of whisky!

Happy xmas Nat West!

[Cavcraft]

Russell Brand is a right knobweasel, but calling Farage a 'pound shop Enoch Powell' was ace.

[MrDuke]

[Stanky]

I reckon it'd be even more fun to have them go back the other way, with the wind behind them and see how fast they can do the 8.5km!

[Craig the Princess]

Someone has uploaded a whole host of old Thames News at 6 clips, some are just background, others are report pieces.

 

Includes this chodfest, Serek plated Metro police Car!

 

[Noel Tidybeard]

bin watching the Beiderbeck trilogy

barbara flynn

but appart from that:-

scroty bedford ha van FTW

cortina police car

black vauxhall senator

and pretty much any of our fave rammell you could possibly want to see

[DodgyBastard]

Derskine drifting!

 

DSC_4884 by srblythe, on Flickr

 

DSC_4912 by srblythe, on Flickr

 

DSC_4918 by srblythe, on Flickr

[cms206]

Is this a grin... dunno actually.

Three weeks ago tomorrow my oldest mate passed away in his sleep at the age of 29. His funeral was today at the Cathedral in town, a really top notch send off which was well attended and a burial, all attended to by the same top class priest who had christened his two kids less than three years ago.

In life Steven often took the rip out of my Volvos claiming that they were old mans cars, him having a string of highly modified Seats, Peugeots and latterly a breathed on Saxo VTS. On the way to the service today I stopped and washed the silver 940 'cos in the back of my head I knew he'd have been shouting "fucks sake, you showed up at my funeral in one of those fuckin' wrecks and didnae even wash it!" - this in mind, I scrubbed it and did the bumper trim and tyres to have it looking half decent at least.

 

Parked up in the car park at the church, gleaming 940 amongst a sea of modified stuff including Astra VXRs, Focus STs and Integras...

 

... and then the cortège rolled up. Silver Volvo 960 hearse and two silver Volvo 960 limos. I looked like I was driving a fucking standby hearse.

 

In life he never would go Swedish, but in death my best mate became the first honorary, posthumous member of the Scotoshite Volvo Massiv.

 

Steven Morrow, 20.11.85 - 22.11.14. A gem of a man, gone but never forgotten.


(also true to life he'd blown the Saxo up so I need to go collect that in the new year and try to get it to go - nothing changes after you die, ya big shite!)

[meshking]

Russell Brand is a right knobweasel, but calling Farage a 'pound shop Enoch Powell' was ace.

Seemed to me that Brand had a card saying "avoid Godwin's law"

 

 

 

Sent from my Z10 using Tapatalk

[jakebullet]

Dropping my parcels off at the hermes parcel shop. A huge TNT truck pulls up, driver comes in the shop and joins the queue with some hermes parcels.

 

Also got ebay and amazon packed, post office run, hermes shop and it was still daylight when I got home. So celebrated with a nice nap.

[fordperv]

i popped into a bargain shop earlier and mrs fordperv burst out laughing pointing my attention to this

 

 

i wonder how much the packaging cost 

[Pillock]

That's a terrible turn of events cms, but I'm hoping that it was fate's way of taking the piss to send Volvo herses. Everyone needs to have the piss taken out of them once in a while, and death shouldn't stand in the way of that. Fair play for taking the time to give yours a scrub

[cort1977]

Saw this on a recent road trip.   Apparently the wheels are called 'elbows' amongst other things.

[chaseracer]

Tomorrow, I get to drive the owd giffer's rejuvenated A6 Allroad to Manchester and back.

 

Comfy 

[Wackeldackel]

Seemed to me that Brand had a card saying "avoid Godwins law"

Sent from my Z10 using Tapatalk

He was itching to say it, absolutely on the tip of his tongue I'm sure. As for being a "Pound shop Enoch Powell" that's no small accolade, if Farage was 1/1000 of the politician the late John Enoch Powell was I'm sure he'd be well pleased, to be mentioned in the same breath at least.

[jakebullet]

I've made progress on the lawnmower > powered wheel barrow conversion. The original engine was a pile of hopeless poo, so I have 2x condition unknown earlier cast iron engines out of some blokes shed for £2.08p off evilbay. Swapped in the one that wasn't seized, cleaned the points to get the spark back, mix n matched starter components and it sort of runs!

 

Runs as in wont idle and fills the garage with heavy blue smoke. Like being at the cinema in the 80's.

 

I'm hopeful that if I can salvage one of the correct carbs it will be a good one. Carb parts currently fizzing away in aldi ultrasonic cleaner in the hope of freeing the crud.

[beko1987]

As alluded to in the xmas party thread, we r bored...

 

[The Moog]

Civic started making a banging today on the motorway. My shitey senses started tingling running through all the issues in my head.

 

By time I stopped and checked exhaust etc I had conjured up rear suspension failure.

 

After finding nothing amiss I continue on journey, until I had a eureka moment. Missus moog fitted an antenna topper so she could find the beast in the car park. At 65mph this bangs on the roof! 😊

 

Best fix evah!

[Cavcraft]

If he's a thousand of the politician Powell was, he wouldn't deserve to breathe. 

[dollywobbler]

Lying in bed, drinking tea this morning, discussing (like the Lord Byron that I am) what cars I'd like to own if I actually had any money with Mrs DW. Discussion naturally turned to the Ami 6. Mrs DW reckoned she could probably get used to left-hand drive. I seriously hope that 2015 sees us on a Leboncoin road trip adventure. 

 

On the downside, this is giving voice to what to do about my 2CV. 'Bin it' still seems the inevitable course of action. That would leave me with suitable upgrade fodder to make an Ami a bit easier to live with... (the super-cute early ones are 6v and have 22bhp versions of the 602cc engine which is very different to later ones).

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Someone has uploaded a whole host of old Thames News at 6 clips, some are just background, others are report pieces.

 

This is GREAT!

 

There's DRAMA:

 

There's ACTION:

 

VITAL bits of London SEALED OFF:

 

AND MORE:

You can't drink and drive in this Rover 213 with ignition breathalyser, watch me swig whiskey and try! (lots of traffic content)

 

"This tiny computer, the size of a video recorder..." keeping the motorways safe.

 

This one is filed under "TREES, WOODLAND, COPSE". Personally I would have filed it under "fatal plane crash", but I'm no journalist. Maybe I'm not seeing the wood for the trees. 

 

This is why little girls want to be princesses. Diana visiting a milk carton production line. The milk carton production line supervisor tells her a funny joke about milk carton production, she laughs, we don't hear it. I can lip read, I think it was "knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Co... MOOOOOOO".

 

Long one of a dumped Toledo being towed away.

 

I was born in this hospital. This stock footage of the car park (boring, even by stock footage of car parks standards) will make a great memento.

[Cavcraft]

Lying in bed, drinking tea this morning, discussing (like the Lord Byron that I am) what cars I'd like to own if I actually had any money with Mrs DW. Discussion naturally turned to the Ami 6. Mrs DW reckoned she could probably get used to left-hand drive. I seriously hope that 2015 sees us on a Leboncoin road trip adventure. 

 

On the downside, this is giving voice to what to do about my 2CV. 'Bin it' still seems the inevitable course of action. That would leave me with suitable upgrade fodder to make an Ami a bit easier to live with... (the super-cute early ones are 6v and have 22bhp versions of the 602cc engine which is very different to later ones).

 

I think it's actually impossible to imagine you without a 2CV.