What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[New POD]

On 17/03/2023 at 22:47, Wack said:

Didn't know whether to post this in the grin or grumpy thread 

My son came home with 2 tickets to the theatre but his GF isn't well so free night out for us 

Fuck me, that's 2 hours of my life I'm not getting back 

An inspector calls, one of the most bizzare things I've ever watched, it was that bad I was thinking at least we'll be able to fuck off at the interval, no they've thought of that, they want you to stay to the end so there's no interval 

 

 

Saw it at the winter Gardens in Blackpool 18 years ago. It's a good story. 

[Remspoor]

Grin or Grumpy I am swinging on this. Airport sandwich.

This is not Naming as the Spanish say

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e0/Letter_ñ_es_es.flac

For the Ñ

Enyaming it is then?

[cobblers]

Not been driving this much lately on account of the roads being covered in salt etc, it's hardly been used since november. I have a load of stuff to move from my old workshop to the new one so I've dug it back out.

GAWD DAMN I love driving this old crock. Hopefully back into dailyish rotation now. 

 

[angle]

Was driving along earlier and a police Astra pulls out of a side road behind me with blues on. I pull into the side and stop to let it past, the policeman pulls up beside me and gestures to wind my window down.

'What are you doing mate?'

'Sorry?'

'I said, what are you doing?'

'...pulling over?'

'You can't stop there, its a double yellow line and a bike lane. What are you doing?'

'Um - there's nowhere else to pull over...?'

'You can't stop there, its a double yellow line'

(Policeman starts getting out of car)

'I'm not stopping, I'm just letting you past. I don't know if you're going right or left, so I don't want to block you at the lights'

(Policeman stops. There's a pause of a few seconds. He looks at the dash. He looks at the roof).

'I've got my lights on, haven't I? Sorry mate, not my normal car. Jesus, I must have been driving round with them on since the start of my shift...'

[High Jetter]

The stereotype of Astra drivers continues ...

[gm]

a surprise late christmas gift from mother gm 

how late ? 

very late, it would seem !

how very Autoshite  

[Remspoor]

7 hours ago, angle said:

Was driving along earlier and a police Astra pulls out of a side road behind me with blues on. I pull into the side and stop to let it past, the policeman pulls up beside me and gestures to wind my window down.

'What are you doing mate?'

'Sorry?'

'I said, what are you doing?'

'...pulling over?'

'You can't stop there, its a double yellow line and a bike lane. What are you doing?'

'Um - there's nowhere else to pull over...?'

'You can't stop there, its a double yellow line'

(Policeman starts getting out of car)

'I'm not stopping, I'm just letting you past. I don't know if you're going right or left, so I don't want to block you at the lights'

(Policeman stops. There's a pause of a few seconds. He looks at the dash. He looks at the roof).

'I've got my lights on, haven't I? Sorry mate, not my normal car. Jesus, I must have been driving round with them on since the start of my shift...'

FFS  he has a degree.

[New POD]

8 hours ago, angle said:

Was driving along earlier and a police Astra pulls out of a side road behind me with blues on. I pull into the side and stop to let it past, the policeman pulls up beside me and gestures to wind my window down.

'What are you doing mate?'

'Sorry?'

'I said, what are you doing?'

'...pulling over?'

'You can't stop there, its a double yellow line and a bike lane. What are you doing?'

'Um - there's nowhere else to pull over...?'

'You can't stop there, its a double yellow line'

(Policeman starts getting out of car)

'I'm not stopping, I'm just letting you past. I don't know if you're going right or left, so I don't want to block you at the lights'

(Policeman stops. There's a pause of a few seconds. He looks at the dash. He looks at the roof).

'I've got my lights on, haven't I? Sorry mate, not my normal car. Jesus, I must have been driving round with them on since the start of my shift...'

I was once driving a hire car from Rome, Eastwards over and through some big mountains on the autostrada. I was in no particular rush but was traveling above the speed limit, a bit.  Lots of cars were blasting past.  Came across a police car with blue lights flashing, and all the other cars were blasting past.  He was doing less than the speed limit, but I didn't want to overtake an emergency vehicle on an emergency.  Anyway eventually I did overtake and about 30 muns later decided to pull in for a spot of tiffin.  As I locked the car the police car pulled in. Police man got out. Looked at his roof. Got back in the car, turned off the lights, got out looked around sheepishly to see if anyone had seen, saw me smiling, and then went in and bought an expresso.  I overtook him again later but without the lights on. 

[Andyrew]

Note to self, 

Dont give away plates and sofas to ex partner before deciding to have a big breaky on the last day in the flat. 

 

[Wack]

18 hours ago, New POD said:

Saw it at the winter Gardens in Blackpool 18 years ago. It's a good story. 

Just not my thing, I wasn't that keen on The Mousetrap either 

[Sunny Jim]

Check your diff seal

[High Jetter]

[RoverFolkUs]

20 hours ago, angle said:

Was driving along earlier and a police Astra pulls out of a side road behind me with blues on. I pull into the side and stop to let it past, the policeman pulls up beside me and gestures to wind my window down.

'What are you doing mate?'

'Sorry?'

'I said, what are you doing?'

'...pulling over?'

'You can't stop there, its a double yellow line and a bike lane. What are you doing?'

'Um - there's nowhere else to pull over...?'

'You can't stop there, its a double yellow line'

(Policeman starts getting out of car)

'I'm not stopping, I'm just letting you past. I don't know if you're going right or left, so I don't want to block you at the lights'

(Policeman stops. There's a pause of a few seconds. He looks at the dash. He looks at the roof).

'I've got my lights on, haven't I? Sorry mate, not my normal car. Jesus, I must have been driving round with them on since the start of my shift...'

@New POD law enforcement, legend has it! 

[High Jetter]

3 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

@New POD law enforcement, legend has it! 

That's PC Pod to the likes of you and me!

[RoverFolkUs]

8 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

That's PC Pod to the likes of you and me!

I missed a trick there 🤣

[New POD]

11 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

@New POD law enforcement, legend has it! 

I once thought about joining the police, but on reflection decided that I was a big enough cunt already and having my personality and sence of humour removed during basic training probably wasn't for me. 

[Spurious]

Ah, the Darwin barrier is super effective. 

 

Edit: broken scooter too 😃

[Garythesnail]

13 minutes ago, Spurious said:

Darwin barrier

I've watched that half a dozen time already...... and it's getting funnier each time.

Am I a bad person?

[mat_the_cat]

On 3/20/2023 at 7:22 AM, New POD said:

He was doing less than the speed limit, but I didn't want to overtake an emergency vehicle on an emergency. 

That reminds me of something - I'm in the local Mountain Rescue team and we have a 20 year old Defender, registered as an ambulance complete with blues and sirens. They are rarely used TBH, as most rescues are not life & death but on one occasion we had to put them on and proceeded as fast as we could to the RV point. Defenders are not built for speed, especially not when on a heavy Wolf chassis, roll cage, 5 people and kit so it was a little bit embarrassing to be overtaken on the Dolgellau bypass by tourists with their top boxes on.

My grin is to do with our business - as some will know we have a small company supplying mainly temperature probes, basically acting as a middle-man and certifying the custom probes we get manufactured. Due to an error our end we had not passed on some additional information from our customer to the manufacturer, so it turned out all 6 on the order were completely useless. Fair enough, our mistake, we'll supply replacements FOC. But it was a nice surprise when informing the manufacturer and wanting to buy more, that they offered to make replacements FOC, and didn't even want the old ones back

[New POD]

14 hours ago, Spurious said:

Ah, the Darwin barrier is super effective. 

 

Edit: broken scooter too 😃

Fuck. He's lucky to survive. 

[New POD]

14 hours ago, Garythesnail said:

I've watched that half a dozen time already...... and it's getting funnier each time.

Am I a bad person?

Yes and No. 

Yes because unless it's a speeded up clip, he probably broke a few bones and may not now be the gifted footballer he thought he might be, and he could have died. (I assume he didn't, otherwise twitter is being used for snuff movies) 

No. Because if it wasn't a barrier it could have been a child. 

[cobblers]

I know it's a bit "Partridge", but there's really a lot to be said for doing a sizable dump that is right slap bang in the middle of the bristol stool scale. There's a sense of pride that I can only imagine a new father might feel.

"I've eaten a balanced diet, chewed properly and not been on the beer, would you just look at that". It's the simple things that make your day

[andy18s]

When you find a bargain at the market,but don't have enough straps in the car.

[320touring]

After a nice night's rest, we set off at the crack of 1030 this morning.

Two locks (the burd is a natural with a windlass) and then it was time to turn at Great Haywood - from the Trent and Mersey into the Staffa and Worcester.

Turning 55ft of boat into a canal mouth of 10ft, with a full fleet of hire boats sitting right after the turn and under a bridge was entertaining*

Thankfully made it sound no bother - slow and steady plus some concentration was all that was needed 

Shortly after that, we sailed across the Trent on an aqueduct - mildly surreal seeing water underneath thr boat, but perpendicular to your direction of travel.

Thereafter it was time for a swift parallel park .

Thankfully there was space for me to get in and stopped, and parallel to the bank. The boat has a tendency to move oddly in reverse (as the water is not passing over the rudder).

Moored up, and it was a short walk to Shugborough Hall.

Victoria sponge and coffee currently being consumed.

 

[High Jetter]

^^^ Great fun. I went on a narrowboat with a group in my mid-teens. I got the hang of piloting it quite quickly but some of the other's attempts were hilarious!

[320touring]

7 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

^^^ Great fun. I went on a narrowboat with a group in my mid-teens. I got the hang of piloting it quite quickly but some of the other's attempts were hilarious!

Yeah, you either get it or you don't 

 

Bit counterintuitive putting power on to turn harder, but it comes easily enough.

Fuck knows how i will cope with 70mph on the motorway on the way back

For context, the turn onto the Staffs is under this bridge, with a whole hire fleet sitting right after the bridge, so only 1 boat width to get past..

[Floatylight]

1 hour ago, 320touring said:

Yeah, you either get it or you don't 

 

Bit counterintuitive putting power on to turn harder, but it comes easily enough.

Fuck knows how i will cope with 70mph on the motorway on the way back

For context, the turn onto the Staffs is under this bridge, with a whole hire fleet sitting right after the bridge, so only 1 boat width to get past..

The farm shop on the other side of the road at Great Haywood is lovely if a bit pricey, only about 5 mins from my house..

[Wack]

When you live alone with too much disposable income 

 

[Rust Collector]

4 minutes ago, Wack said:

When you live alone with too much disposable income 

 

It looks great, but how are you meant to play with it in the bath?!

[Sunny Jim]

2 hours ago, 320touring said:

Yeah, you either get it or you don't 

 

Bit counterintuitive putting power on to turn harder, but it comes easily enough.

Fuck knows how i will cope with 70mph on the motorway on the way back

For context, the turn onto the Staffs is under this bridge, with a whole hire fleet sitting right after the bridge, so only 1 boat width to get past..

Nice boat mister. For tight turns, tiller hard over and as you said, a burst of (forward) power to "kick" the back end round. If you keep the tiller where it is and then give a burst of reverse the boat will spin on the spot*, rotating around it's middle - handy when you've not got much space to manoeuvre.

*might not work if it's very windy - one to practise when you got some space!