What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Louise2cv]

I thought I'd baffle my Facebook friends by using the latest bit of pregnancy advice for a status update, as it's pretty odd sounding:

 

Getting Dressed: let someone else help or use barbeque tongs

 

Within 5 minutes I got the following response:

 

Aww congrats hun. Not long left I take it?

 

perhaps women everywhere are dressing with barbeque tongs and thinking it quite normal...

[MrDuke]

Swap "Getting Dressed" for "Home Delivery" and it's even funnier.

[Gompo]

Saw two Rover Streetwise' yesterday in a couple of minutes, and neither were silver. Unfortunately I think both were wearing alloys rather than steels, but still made me grin.

[Cavcraft]

Dave was not well. Dave was close to losing his eyesight. Dave has had an operation. Dave is on the mend...

 

 

Dave is unamused by his light shade.

[Tayne]

.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Poor Dave. Cute in his lampshade though!

 

Just checking out an eBay seller's feedback, and this neg made me laugh:

just to let you know that radio had to be destroyed. i do feel let down

___Car CD player JVC KD-S723R

It was so bad it had to be destroyed.

[seth]

Dave was not well. Dave was close to losing his eyesight. Dave has had an operation. Dave is on the mend...

 

[Guest]

MY WIFE IS CAT NOW.

 

Listening to Virgin Gold on my scabby old Ferguson 208U. It only picks up the station properly if I lean over my desk. So wrong. By way of compromise I've tied the aerial around the radiator tube. Actually, the signal is fine if the volume is absolutely blaring the fucking station out. Knackered volume pot?

 

RETURN TO SENDER (with accompanying tube dust-stink).

[brammy777]

Passed my theory!

[Tayne]

.

[retrogeezer]

Talbot Alpine on Misfits!

 

And well done Brammy..

[Guest]

Congrats Bram.

[brammy777]

Tar wat and Tayne, seems like waking up at half six to revise was a good idea! Shame I ended up leaving my paper licence at the test centre, have to wait til Wednesday to get it back. The woman didnt half sound annoyed with me when she rang up to tell me, what about a postbox?!

[STUNO]

Dave was not well. Dave was close to losing his eyesight. Dave has had an operation. Dave is on the mend...

 

 

Dave is unamused by his light shade.

 

Is Dave praying for rain

 

Congrats Brammy

[binhoker668]

Nice one Brammy - glad to hear. The rest will be a doddle!

[Cavcraft]

Congrat's Brammy.

[Mr Lobster]

Excellent news Brammy!

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Congrats, Brammy. I'm so glad I passed before they introduced the hazard perception part - I had a go on someone's practice CD-ROM and couldn't pass it. It was like a random clicking game.

[scaryoldcortina]

Oh dear oh dear I probably shouldn't laugh at other people's misfortune, but when a brand new Nissan Juke belts down the outside of your queue of traffic (it was in the lane covered in snow) then totally fails to stop at the roundabout and slides straight into the blade on the front of the gritting lorry it's hard to do anything else. No-one hurt, but bits of juke everywhere. Gritter driver ploughed it into the centre of the roundabout before carrying on.

[Volksy]

The Juke probably looks better after this 'restyle'

[Mr_Bo11ox]

A story in this months CAR MECHANICS made me lozzle, it was about some lad who had an MOT station in Preston, getting busted by VOSA for dishing out shaky MOT's. VOSA took an interest after he'd done 2460 MOT's in 3 months without failing a single one!!! What a fuggin halfwit

[scaryoldcortina]

2690 tests in 3 months?? eh, that's about 30 a day! I suspect that VOSA would still have wanted a word if he'd failed the odd one and bunged on a few advisories to make it look better

[Richard]

I thought you had to take at least 45 minutes to do a test.

[scaryoldcortina]

I thought you had to take at least 45 minutes to do a test.

 

Nope, you take as long as you need to do the test. A 1960 morris minor has far fewer testable items to check than a 2007 Zafira. There is a guideline that an "average" MoT should take 45 minutes, but the VTS device (MoT computer) will actually let you log a car in for test then instantly pass it. I don't recommend doing that though

[Mr Lobster]

That was round 'ere. Accrington IIRC.

 

VOSA set up some undercover thing to see what cars were going in and out of the premises. A fair number never even went near apparently and many that were 'tested' only spent five minutes there. Even they said if he'd actually failed some he would probably have got away with it...

 

Found it! - http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/ne ... er_jailed/

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Ha ha, what a fuggin dullard, I wonder if he was desperate or genuinely just shit thick?

[ashmicro]

Good Show Brammy.

[autofive]

Oh dear oh dear I probably shouldn't laugh at other people's misfortune, but when a brand new Nissan Juke belts down the outside of your queue of traffic (it was in the lane covered in snow) then totally fails to stop at the roundabout and slides straight into the blade on the front of the gritting lorry it's hard to do anything else. No-one hurt, but bits of juke everywhere. Gritter driver ploughed it into the centre of the roundabout before carrying on.

 

i saw a few prize tossers myself this morning

 

one white van man decided to overtake me on A194, except the outside lane hadnt been gritted - he managed the overtake but then failed to make it back into the inside lane - back end slid, bounced on the centre reservation kerb and sparks flew as it scraped along the barrier for a bit then came to a halt still in the outside lane. i had slowed to watch the action, as he stopped I pulled away and carried on my journey. On the way back about 40 mins later i saw the van surrounded by 'highway hindrance' vehicles and cones

[Richard]

I thought you had to take at least 45 minutes to do a test.

 

Nope, you take as long as you need to do the test. A 1960 morris minor has far fewer testable items to check than a 2007 Zafira. There is a guideline that an "average" MoT should take 45 minutes, but the VTS device (MoT computer) will actually let you log a car in for test then instantly pass it. I don't recommend doing that though

 

Ah, the guy who tested our C5 said he'd done it too quick and I'd have to wait till the 45 minutes was up before he could issue the certificate. He must have been taking the guidelines literally.

[cobblers]

I thought you had to take at least 45 minutes to do a test.

 

Nope, you take as long as you need to do the test. A 1960 morris minor has far fewer testable items to check than a 2007 Zafira. There is a guideline that an "average" MoT should take 45 minutes, but the VTS device (MoT computer) will actually let you log a car in for test then instantly pass it. I don't recommend doing that though

 

 

So when I take my cars for a test and they make me wait 20 minutes afterwards before they put the data in the system and print the certificate off, they are probably either being over cautious or have something else dodgy going on and are trying to keep the stats OK?

Actually come to think about it, I've got advisories for wiper blades that were weeks old and other random stuff

 

I'm not bothered either way, just curious.