saucedoctor Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 Bum. Duffed 3 nil. Grin: standing on the street on a cold night in Belfast eating chips with your mates, talking shit about football, and then getting a lift home in the world's most fucked W202. Sheefag, johngarty and Cavcraft 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakebullet Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 The specials in millennium square? Kinky girl is going to love it when I take her to stand over the road from it for nowt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cms206 Posted November 15, 2016 Share Posted November 15, 2016 I saw Van Morrison playing in Chester park years ago.I thought I saw Van Morrison in a car park in Chester years ago, but then realised I was looking in the mirror and it was actually a Morrisons Van. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk LC Torana, Jim Bell, saucedoctor and 16 others 19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr A Lawrence Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 My serial car hoarding mate has just quizzed me about changing the gear selector cables on an mgf. Seems he's bought one for peanuts with a broken cable, sight unseen. WCPGW?? Supernaut 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supernaut Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 My serial car hoarding mate has just quizzed me about changing the gear selector cables on an mgf. Seems he's bought one for peanuts with a broken cable, sight unseen. WCPGW?? At least he's not planning a LHD conversion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulgalour Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 It may have only been 4', but I can now say I've towed a Renault 6 with an Applause and a length of rope barely thicker than string. My back has thanked me for this solution. Skizzer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulgalour Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 I just stumbled across a photograph I forgot I took. Talbot logo found on a high level brake light from a phase 2 Picasso. I'd not expected to see a Talbot logo on a car part from any car made after about 1990. chaseracer, beko1987, Parky and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryoldcortina Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 My daughter's ferret is in the national news today because he's up for a national "animal survivor" award. Please vote for him, I'm sure he'd make an excellent Prime Minister rainagain, The Moog, They_all_do_that_sir and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seth Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 I made a small guillotine blade out of silver earlier. Snagged my finger on something as I was filing the edge resulting in bloodstains all over it. Mrs_Seth thought this a bit too 'authentic' for a decorative item. scaryoldcortina, myglaren, Tickman and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fordperv Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 we were out in our work tourneo earlier heard grinding from the front left brake then heard an almighty bang, the lad who was driving said fuck ive got no brakes as i heard a ting ta ting ting, the brake pad made a bid for freedom, they have tried to fob us off saying the van gets checked every saturday, my arse it does the piston also popped out of the caliper pissing fluid everywhere old school chap came out to us, mole grips on the flexi and we were on our way back to work, i drove back Banger Kenny, beko1987, DeeJay and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myglaren Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 I thought I saw Van Morrison in a car park in Chester years ago, but then realised I was looking in the mirror and it was actually a Morrisons Van. Sent from my SM-G930F using TapatalkThere's a building services company here called Morrison's (ex Gateshead Council) and on of their vans had signwritten above the windscreen "Van Morrison"Oddly enough their yard was bulldozed to turn into a Morrisons supermarket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pillock Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 https://www.playbuzz.com/tobykd11/test-your-knowledge-of-uk-service-stations?utm_source=copy&utm_medium=ff&utm_campaign=ff#half_ff Service Station Quiz. You'll never beat me, I got 10. Craig the Princess 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 Just thought I would say how brilliant the Co-Op Bank is. Got a text at 5.15 saying "are you withdrawing cash in Spain right now?" or words to that effect, to which I said no. Immediately phone rings and it's the Fraud people. "Yes Mr Parky, we thought your card may have been cloned because it is unusual for you to attempt so many large purchases and cash withdrawals in such a small space of time. We have stopped all the attempts and are cancelling the card so it can't be used again". Whatever system they use works nicely as being without my card for a few days is better than having thousands ripped out of my account. I suspect it was cloned at a Liverpool petrol station. Paid for fuel and used my credit card and I remember the guy saying that the terminal wasn't working, could I try again with another one, oh yes this one went through, thank you sir, etc. I bet the first machine was a scanner as the only other time I used my card this year was to buy train tickets from a machine in Stockholm! Seems some folk are having a lovely holiday in Spain using other people's cards so a call to the Fuzz might be in order richardmorris and michael1703 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegod Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 May i kindly ask which petrol station this was? I'll happily epoxy all the pumps to the holders overnight to make you feel better, pm me if preferred myglaren, catsinthewelder, Asimo and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cort16 Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 sorry i child Are these the parts you needed to replace on your Panda after your gravel bath at Knockhill? hairnet and The Moog 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 May i kindly ask which petrol station this was? I'll happily epoxy all the pumps to the holders overnight to make you feel better, pm me if preferred Not being from the area it was very much a case of "red light on, oh shit, this place will have to do" And I was lost! But I will have a look through my receipts and see if I can find it. I would have kept it for my expenses claim. I don't really want their pumps epoxy'd but I wouldn't mind Plod popping in to ask about their spare card reader. That's if it is them of course, it is so hard to prove. Maybe I wouldn't be so relaxed about it if they had ripped a few grand off me. When I got the call I was a tad suspicious it might be a setup so I asked which office the lady was calling from. When she said Skelmersdale I said "oh nice, it's lovely there" and her strong north west accented reply of "no it isn't, it's horrid and it's always raining" proved to me she was definitely from Skem where the co-op offices are. The Moog, beko1987, DSdriver and 18 others 21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loserone Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 When I got the call I was a tad suspicious it might be a setup so I asked which office the lady was calling from. When she said Skelmersdale I said "oh nice, it's lovely there" and her strong north west accented reply of "no it isn't, it's horrid and it's always raining" proved to me she was definitely from Skem where the co-op offices are. Love it. Can I use this as exemplar material in information security training? The Moog, myglaren and chaseracer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Yup, absolutely! loserone 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael1703 Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 This sums up social media nicely: "Moan all day about bein fucked then stay up until 3 looking at pictures of strangers on holiday on ya phone." DodgeRover 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5speedracer Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 sorry i childThey do this and synthesisers...... Sent from my X17 using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymous user Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 They do this and synthesisers...... Sent from my X17 using Tapatalkand there was me thinking he'd broken poor Moog, off here, for parts The Moog, Dave_Q and cms206 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Are these the parts you needed to replace on your Panda after your gravel bath at Knockhill?Grass and it did 600 miles without complaint The Moog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtriple Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 I have had a bit of a wierd afternoon... thinking. I was idly wondering if dogs have 'real' names? Like: dog goes up to my mutt and says: ' woof, woof, wooooooof, wooferty woof' which translates as: 'hey up pal, what's your name?' I have never heard Chester (or Phoebe for that matter but then she doesn't speak to other dogs - far too stuck up ) reply: ' wooferty, woof, wooooof, wof woofer, woo!' which translates as: ' what ho geezer, my name is Chester.' So, I reckon his real name cannot be 'Chester' it is probably 'thickfuckerfartslots' or something similar which is why the BASTARD NEVER COMES BACK WHEN I CALL HIM!!!!!!!! The Moog, Supernaut, catsinthewelder and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supernaut Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 I have had a bit of a wierd afternoon... thinking. I was idly wondering if dogs have 'real' names? Like: dog goes up to my mutt and says: ' woof, woof, wooooooof, wooferty woof' which translates as: 'hey up pal, what's your name?' I have never heard Chester (or Phoebe for that matter but then she doesn't speak to other dogs - far too stuck up ) reply: ' wooferty, woof, wooooof, wof woofer, woo!' which translates as: ' what ho geezer, my name is Chester.' So, I reckon his real name cannot be 'Chester' it is probably 'thickfuckerfartslots' or something similar which is why the BASTARD NEVER COMES BACK WHEN I CALL HIM!!!!!!!! That's a bit Terry Pratchett. I remember reading in one of his Discworld novels a character had a goat. The goat did not have a name in human language, as the owner operated on the assumption the goat already had a name in goat language, so it would be rude to rename it. M'coli, xtriple, catsinthewelder and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 I have had a bit of a wierd afternoon... thinking. I was idly wondering if dogs have 'real' names? Like: dog goes up to my mutt and says: ' woof, woof, wooooooof, wooferty woof' which translates as: 'hey up pal, what's your name?' I have never heard Chester (or Phoebe for that matter but then she doesn't speak to other dogs - far too stuck up ) reply: ' wooferty, woof, wooooof, wof woofer, woo!' which translates as: ' what ho geezer, my name is Chester.' So, I reckon his real name cannot be 'Chester' it is probably 'thickfuckerfartslots' or something similar which is why the BASTARD NEVER COMES BACK WHEN I CALL HIM!!!!!!!!What Ho geezer? Methinks Chester cannot decide if he is posh or cockney! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtriple Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 What Ho geezer? Methinks Chester cannot decide if he is posh or cockney! He is a very 'confused' dog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefag Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Supernaut, dome, purplebargeken and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulgalour Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 So, I reckon his real name cannot be 'Chester' it is probably 'thickfuckerfartslots' "No, xxx (or whatever your name is in dog), don't buy that Bentley, it'll be a terrible financial adventure!" , is what Chester is probably thinking right now while simultaneously being smug for you having provided such a comfortable pew for his biological warfare behind. xtriple and cms206 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheggers Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Bub2006 is a complete gent. That is all. Skizzer, privatewire, cobblers and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 We know that! Cheggers and purplebargeken 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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