vulgalour Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 I also cleaned, ku-rusted and undersealed the top of the tank. Given the finish it looks like I used a dead hedgehog. I didn't it was alive. michael t, MarvinsMom and LightBulbFun 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chodweaver Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 So, I greased the Cowley yesterday which thankless task was fully rewarded with finding a split in the offside steering rack gaiter wider, blacker and greasier than Janet Pulborough's fanny at Tech college. (Opens Farcebook and searches 'Janet Pulborough') Exiled_Tat_Gatherer, warren t claim, NorfolkNWeigh and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hooli Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 I was at school with people from Pulborough, I seem to recall some fit posh lasses from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chodweaver Posted August 24, 2018 Share Posted August 24, 2018 Lasses from Pulborough is all that a Farcebook search brings up. (I iz disappoint.) Tadhg Tiogar 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercrocker Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 I changed her name to protect whatever dignity she may have regained! Also I suspect she married at least five times since.....You could try a map of Sussex and see which other town it might have been. Sadly, selfie-sticks had a completely different implication back then! lesapandre, inconsistant, Dick Longbridge and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hooli Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Storrington, Amberley, Petersfield or West Chiltington seem like the same area in my 20+year old memories of around there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adw1977 Posted September 5, 2018 Share Posted September 5, 2018 "all the vim and enthusiasm of a decomposing flatworm" Datsuncog describing some car salesmen in the "Ford Mondeo is at an end?" thread. Cavcraft, chodweaver, AMC Rebel and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 /\ I just came on here to post that. Here's the quote in full: Other than Toyota, every mass-market showroom I've ever entered has been staffed with utter titmaboobs who are either aggressively pushy yet clueless, or have all the vim and enthusiasm of a decomposing flatworm. Craig the Princess, chodweaver, LightBulbFun and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 Parky's imagining of a telephone conversation between Putin and May discussing the Skripals is worthy of a mention here methinks. “Konstantin, bung me the dog, gonna phone May up”(Tap tap tap tap tap.....tap tap.....tap.....tap,tap, tap....tap...tap....tap tap....tap........brrrring, brrrring, click “Alright you looney! Whasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap ha ha ha ha ha!)“Maaaaaaay! Whasaaaaaaaaaaap hahahaha, ah, epic stuff. Epic bants and that. Anyway, listen yeah, I have a little issue I wanna chat about”“Yeah shoot man, what can I do for ya!”“Yeah, nice one. Anyway it’s like this. This bloke yeah, Sergei something is being a bit of a twat and I wanna take him out......no, not for a meal you muppet, I mean proper take him out as in make him less alive than he is now. Now the problem is he is living in your manor and that so just wanted to square it with you first. What’ll be good is it makes me look like the big man, and after you can go on telly and give it all the large about us being twats and that. I won’t mind, I know i’m a twat ha ha ha ha ha! Anyway, could be a little distraction from all that Europe shit going on, I know that’s a massive issue - you should see how many of my Kremlin staff and tweeting about it 24/7, I can’t even get a bloody coffee these days! I’m like “ oi, I am the president, I want coffee” and they’re all like “oh no Vlad, no way man, I haven’t retweeted anything from UKIP today or sent anything in capitals”. Bloody nightmare. Anyway, what do you reckon?”“Yeah whatevs mate, don’t worry about it”“Cheers yeah. By the way you at the G20 again this year?”“After last time? Errr deffo, that was fucking brilliant!”“Yeah I know! Macron could barely stand! Seeing him and Trudeau singing Kylie songs was just the business, I am definitely putting that on YouTube when I find my bloody mobile!”“Ha ha ha, I reckon Trump took it to see if those videos were on there, probably doesn’t realise we’ve all got copies! Anyway mate....before you go, do the voice!”“Oh alright...ahem.....buy your car insurance with Compare the Market - seeeemples! Now stop laughing, it’s not that funny. Shut up! No, it’s not....no.....it’s not as funny as seeing you dancing round your handbag with Merkel, now that WAS funny. Anyway, gotta go, sombre looking bloke in a big hat wants a word. Up the Arsenal! Ha ha ha ha ha, yeah, cheers, see ya” Ohdearme, Datsuncog, DSdriver and 10 others 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 Anyway, I meanwhile developed a healthy dose of what only an English Breakfast can cure. So we pulled out at some so called service. What a contradiction in terms!The Beefeater didn't serve breakfast and the McDonald's next to it didn't have an access, so we found ourselves back on the A34.At the next services, they had another McDonald's, but it was closed for refurbishment. At the next services, they had a McDonald's that didn't serve coffee, because their fucking coffee machine was broken. I'm NOT making this shit up! They didn't have a machine available to them that heats fucking water! Lord please be with me, for crying out loud!Consequently I was forced to go to the Costa next door and have a three quid cup full of their revolting feline diarrhea! Needless to say that an English Breakfast wasn't forthcoming. I shit on multiculturalism. Conrad D. Conelrad, Squire_Dawson, AMC Rebel and 10 others 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg Posted September 29, 2018 Share Posted September 29, 2018 Parky in the open section on conspiracy theories.... Bilderberg this year was discussing “K-Series - really that bad?” Both Trump and May were slagging that engine right off on the Rover section of the Illuminati discussion forums on the dark web so weren’t invited. In fact Trump got a 24 hour ban for saying the Pinto was a superior unit. May is a “T” Series devotee and never liked the modular construction of the K. How do I know this? Simple. I made it all up. However if I post this on an Internet forum, it is factual in about twenty minutes, and 24 hours later Breitbart are reporting how migrants working at the head gasket factory deliberately sabotaged the parts scheduled for delivery to Rover. Alex Jones is shouting the odds about how a Trump was right about the Pinto and Katie Hopkins is asking why terrorists in the UK don’t drive Metros. Is it because they hate the UK? Tomorrow I might write something about Jacob Rees Mogg and how he was influenced by Ian Ogilvys School Bully character in the “Tomkinsons School Days” episode of Ripping Yarns....... flat4alfa, JeeExEll, cobblers and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilA Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 Parky's imagining of a telephone conversation between Putin and May discussing the Skripals is worthy of a mention here methinks.Took me about ten minutes after the fact to realise that you didn't mean James May. LightBulbFun and egg 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddyramrod Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Our own personal scowling young harridanReverend Bluejeans, in the Northern Powerhouse thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talbot Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 I was at school with people from Pulborough,Storrington, Amberley, Petersfield or West ChiltingtonIt's very odd seeing the names of all the small towns/villages that I drive through every day on a forum like this. scruff 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Still laughing at this from Pillock in the what have you fixed thread in the ladies bar Wan Keej Unk Crispy Fried Duck and Cargenogenic Plastics Concern Ltd Datsuncog and Cavcraft 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Jimmy Posted October 3, 2018 Share Posted October 3, 2018 Rev Bluejeans said something along the lines of 'wouldn't have enough power to pull a greased stick from a dog's arse'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scruff Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Storrington, Amberley, Petersfield or West Chiltington seem like the same area in my 20+year old memories of around there. Yes indeed, known a few Janets as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig the Princess Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Tayne on the A2's cooling problems I'm a greedy bastard and I'd normally order a pizza smaller than the puddle it left after a 17 mile drive. barmatt, The Reverend Bluejeans and Lacquer Peel 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsuncog Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 Genuine snort of amusement, from JimH's jaw-dropping Super Sentinal steam waggon thread: Here's a thing. When researching the availability of panel beating tools don't type "leather faced slapper" into Google and expect anything useful back. Ho hum. Ohdearme, meggersdog, Craig the Princess and 11 others 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Jimmy Posted October 19, 2018 Share Posted October 19, 2018 Genuine snort of amusement, from JimH's jaw-dropping Super Sentinal steam waggon thread:Indeed; I was trying to buy some fine cane and looked for it on ebay, seems there's an awful lot of people with school teacher fetishes about. Datsuncog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catsinthewelder Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 Not only does this car look a bit like Viz's Satsuma Castanet XR4 Turbo... https://www.ebay.co....x4~-:rk:27:pf:0 ...but Magenta Tarragon Lightspeed is actually an anagram of 'Gents oral minge death trap' So there's no way I'd put my cock in it. Billy Cavcraft (who else?) in the tat thread (where else?) michael t, flat4alfa, wuvvum and 10 others 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coprolalia Posted October 20, 2018 Share Posted October 20, 2018 It's very odd seeing the names of all the small towns/villages that I drive through every day on a forum like this.Grew up in and around Midhurst, Petersfield, Petworth, Wisborough Green, Pulborough etc There's quite a few A272/A27 shiters I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhatfoolish Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 That big white not-a-Morgan looks like it has an MX-5 stuck in the middle of it, which is what I assume it's based on. It's not the worst thing of its type to look at, though that is perhaps a bit like saying it's not the smelliest turd you could have stepped in. vulgalour, Datsuncog, Junkman and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clayts450 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 twosmoke300 comparing owning a Saab diesel to non-alcoholic beverages Like someone said to me about no alcohol lager . “ it tastes the same but it’s just not right , much like licking your sisters fanny “ Cavcraft, twosmoke300, chodweaver and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsuncog Posted November 12, 2018 Share Posted November 12, 2018 You see some dash lights out20170225-04.jpg So take the dashboard out20170302-04.jpg in20170224-04.jpg out20170306-04.jpg in20170310-01.jpg out20170309-02.jpg shake it all about20180730-06.jpg you do the OH FFS and you throw a tool, that's what it's all about.20180119-06.jpg OOOOH Princess dash electrics20180729-11.jpg OOOOH Princess dash electrics20171125-04.jpg OOOOH Princess dash electrics20170618-02.jpg We've fixed that now, the reverse light wont work. Proper giggle/snort/roar with laughter at Vulg's contribution to the Ungrateful Cars thread - to the point that I frightened one of the cats. Brilliant stuff. LightBulbFun, flat4alfa, GrumpiusMaximus and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael t Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 This from Bramz7 in the Spotted thread after a picture of a mid-80s Metro was posted full of auld ones....... I haven't seen a Metro loaded up with old biddies for what feels like years egg and The Reverend Bluejeans 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clayts450 Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 ohdearme in response to whether he had locking wheel nut with a collar round it on his Mondeo - unclear whether innuendo intended I was in a rush this morning and only fingered it briefly before jumping in the SAAB and buggering off to work. michael t and chodweaver 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdearme Posted November 13, 2018 Share Posted November 13, 2018 ohdearme in response to whether he had locking wheel nut with a collar round it on his Mondeo - unclear whether innuendo intendedI slipped it in quietly hoping nobody would notice... catsinthewelder, clayts450 and michael t 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad D. Conelrad Posted November 15, 2018 Share Posted November 15, 2018 Kiltox's dedicated solicitor: In a week or two I should have an LG 8kg washer going for buttons in Gloucester if you’re interested - moving to a new build with integrated. Oohhh, let me know, could well be interested.. My CUNTING solicitor is delaying you from having the best washing machine experience I have ever known, I’m sorry. Fuck me he works late 11:26pm can I sell my washing machine 11:39pm no Junkman, DSdriver, Cavcraft and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldcars Posted November 19, 2018 Share Posted November 19, 2018 This belter from Squire_Dawson Posted Yesterday, 09:53 PMI judge an area by the prevalence of flat-roof pubs. Shut or burnt down flat-roof pubs put me on high alert. egg, mercrocker, DSdriver and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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