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Father Ted

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22 minutes ago, HarmonicCheeseburger said:

Good old Gorilla glued dildos right in the drivers view of the windscreen works wonders. 

 

Failing that a tie-wrap around any rotating part works too.

 

Or a condom over the exhaust pipe secured with a tie-wrap.

Jack the front up, drop the oil then replace sump plug, should make it approx 1 mile from your house and then you'll never see it again  

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got a 5hr drive to Norwich on saturday morning - accompanying the wife to MOTD stuffs. I have zero interest in football but free hire car/hotel/entry to the match cant really grumble can ya.  sadly no A8L this time - 'astra sized car or simmlar' boo. 

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A mate of mine suggested vaselene on the windscreen wipers (it was raining) as a good one too.

Sadly being about twenty feet from the back gate to a primary school is both the main cause of this recurring problem and limits how much you can really do about it.

The long term solution is simple: move.  We didn't even realize the school was there until we'd moved in!

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9 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

It would be a terrible shame if he suddenly had five flat tyres and had to walk the 0.3 miles back to where they live...

ahh that attention to detail is satisfying  :) 

(mind knowing the type of person they probably never check that one anyway and its already flat!)

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8 hours ago, wuvvum said:

Where do you park when you're in That London?

Ealing Broadway, then tube or train across town.

I did try yourparkingspace.com to rent someone’s driveway, but when I got there they’d rented out two spaces to three people. Fuck that.

 

Or I might just park across Zel’s driveway, I hear that’s all the rage ?

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8 hours ago, wuvvum said:

Where do you park when you're in That London?

Are you planning on lifting one of his cars?

'Gone in 60 seco.... hold on its run out of electric. Has anyone got any jump leads. Brilliant, fucking bonnet cable just snapped. Fuck it, I'm getting a bus.'

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43 minutes ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

I'll look out for that Aerodeck, then.

Parking in some of the residents' bays in Ealing is free, but not between 3-4pm

Level five. (It’ll get stolen to order now I’ve put its whereabouts on the internet, you just watch.)

I’m just the sort of person those ‘magic hour’ residents’ bay limits are there to stop.

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17 minutes ago, Skizzer said:

Level five. (It’ll get stolen to order now I’ve put its whereabouts on the internet, you just watch.)

I’m just the sort of person those ‘magic hour’ residents’ bay limits are there to stop.

Many years ago I worked for Barnet Housing as we were in a van and the dunces at the top had not sorted us out an exception we had to drive off on the magic hour. The idiot manager would then tell us we should have taken lunch then, yeah right like I am having lunch at 10am or 3pm twat. 

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All Vxls are shit.

Hence why for my new courier venture I've just bought a Combo (so it's really a Fiat) - I pick this little beauty up on Saturday (seller photo)

van.thumb.jpg.a9c2dcbaeadbfd547ee0806a6f4a5915.jpg

Okay, it's done over 100K miles, but it's 1 owner (Mitie, ex-lease) and was only used locally in the last two years for grounds maintenance and carting a lawnmower around. Absolutely immaculate not a scratch or dent on it, and the lessee clearly ticked the options button as it's got everything. Is the farty 1.3 stop-start for OMGMPG, but that's totally sufficient for my needs. Has had clutch replaced, and has full service history so should be no timing chain disasters. Has a speed limiter on it too (70) - bah :(

More proper photos and write up when I pick it up.

I got da F(U)NK

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38 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

Aah, gotcha.  I was wondering whether that was some kind of top secret underground parking facility off Fenchurch Street...

Broadway Shopping Centre. Although "skizzer" could probably* have saved* a bit of cash by sticking it in Springbridge Road multistorey just across the way, at a quid an hour.

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3 hours ago, egg said:

The ultimate indignity this morning. Overtaken by a Honda Jazz on a b-road!!

A couple of years ago, on the bit of M6 north of Carlisle, I was driving southbound in Mr Coffees' LS400. We were doing "70mph" already, and a Prius went past like we were standing still!

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