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Father Ted

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Fitted the new accelerator cable to the 944 yesterday. Nice easy job.

 

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Lovely looking engine bay innit?

 

I noticed the clutch fluid was low and topped it up. The clutch had been fine when I parked it up so presumed it just needed topping up.

 

Sadly no, drove up the drive and the pedal was on the floor.

 

This car REALLY hates me. I'd mended it and only drove 3 metres before it was fucked again.

 

Turned the car round tonight so I didn't have to squeeze between the car and the house.

 

Look at this. I really am living the dream, if you dream of having no money or spare time and neighbours who hate you.

 

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Took the starter motor out and the slave cylinder was weeping at the join.

 

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Removed the slave cylinder and its all mishapen and is pissing out.

 

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Presume that the whole thing is knackered to cause that mis-shape in the first place so will buy a new one, rather than bollocks about with a rebuild kit.

 

Annoyingly, from looking at the history the part was only fitted in 2016. Probably only done a few thousand miles.

 

Will have to have a word with Mr Visa to see if he'll buy me another.

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Went to find something called Cathedral Quarry in the Lake District on our last day before we depart. It’s about 2 miles up single track lanes, about one mile up said single track lanes sat nav says left so I go left them see a sign saying not suitable for cars.

 

Bollocks.

 

Better back it up then. Normally I’m pretty good at reversing the van. Today however... well I’ll let you judge:

 

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It was leaning at pretty much a 45 degree angle (pictures don’t do it justice!). Another half a foot backwards and I was grounded on rocks. Forwards wasn’t happening due to wheels spinning on the mud. The clutch smelt like it might burn out too...

 

Thankfully a local called the farmer for us who tugged us out. “You’re not the first and you won’t be the last”

 

Instead of the Cathedral cavern we drive back to Ambleside for a cuppa.

 

Learnt that that lame wasn’t really van friendly!

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Went for a little night time pastry run in the Princess and for the first time the alternator light came on.  I didn't have an excessive amount of things on and the light went off again fairly promptly, but it didn't seem to be doing as much charging as usual.  I suspect a dodgy earth, or possibly an issue with the alternator, or both.  Could even be the battery, who knows?  Also found out which bulb was the errant one behind the dash but I can't sort that until I can see what I'm doing in daylight because for some reason it works fine until I put it back in its hole in the dash, and then it loses connection.  I found another bulb that's inoperative behind the dash too, not sure what that one's for because all the lights I expect to come on do.

 

It's my own fault for fixing things.

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Went to find something called Cathedral Quarry in the Lake District on our last day before we depart. It’s about 2 miles up single track lanes, about one mile up said single track lanes sat nav says left so I go left them see a sign saying not suitable for cars.

 

Bollocks.

 

Better back it up then. Normally I’m pretty good at reversing the van. Today however... well I’ll let you judge:

 

D75ABB87-0C76-44CF-BBF7-F96C07513F09.jpeg 438D1773-7564-48C6-A966-D0567605A4A9.jpeg

 

It was leaning at pretty much a 45 degree angle (pictures don’t do it justice!). Another half a foot backwards and I was grounded on rocks. Forwards wasn’t happening due to wheels spinning on the mud. The clutch smelt like it might burn out too...

 

Thankfully a local called the farmer for us who tugged us out. “You’re not the first and you won’t be the last”

 

Instead of the Cathedral cavern we drive back to Ambleside for a cuppa.

 

Learnt that that lame wasn’t really van friendly!

Tilly?

 

TILTY!

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White Arrow.

 

Now that does bring back memories as a child of my grandma sticking a little blue card in the window to let the driver know she had a package to return.

 

God knows how the poor bugger ever saw it as she lived in an upstairs flat and had net curtains but the system seemed to work.

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Pain meds taken, wrapped up warm, decided to tackle changing the alternator and auxillery belt, all wenr to plan, bloody fiddly loved another pair of hands, but struggled on, stupidly id forgotten to order a new tensioner so had to ring round to get one of the shelf, ecp wanted 100+ and order in when another was £68 and avaliable.. about 3 odd hours to do. Now lunchtime and more meds...

 

 

 

 

An absolute cunt of a job on the mk3.

 

My TDDI of many problems had it's alternator let go in a cloud of smoke, i took one look it it was and the access points, said "fuck that" and phoned the scrap man.

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Was White Arrow the crew that NEVER closed sliding driver's door on their Transits and kept falling out going round corners, or did I dream it?

My job was to carelessly throw the packages around the warehouse in Hull so can't comment on the drivers.

 

It did make me aware of this road though.

 

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Oddly, even google maps thinks he's a knob.

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More winning.  Solved the earth problem which was one loose eyelet in the boot.  The alternator is suspect though, it's providing plenty of volts but the dashboard ammeter and the way the car behaves suggest it's not providing enough amps.  Don't have the amp tester at home so we'll check this out tomorrow when I'll hopefully attempt to do the balljoints now I've got the massive socket I ordered.

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Update.

Seems PP have decided in favour of the claimant.

The money has been taken back and Ive also been charged an extra £14 as a 'chargeback fee' on top of the original reclaim amount.

Hopefully something positive can come out of this mess and the dark wob frequenters can continue having a good laugh at the situation.

PP can of course fuck off and I'll be shutting my account.

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Sorry to see that's the outcome. What a crap situation. It sums up my feelings about PayPal. You're robbed, no matter that you do. The fact David Gwynn/Problemhamster has the gall to continue to check in on here is surprising. What a complete sheister.

As for the sad members of the dark knob supposedly having a laugh - just ignore the twats.

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 The fact David Gwynn/Problemhamster has the gall to continue to check in on here is surprising. What a complete sheister.

 

 

From what Jim Bell has posted (at least twice) this was initiated by the bank/credit card company without Problemhamster's knowledge.  He has offered to re-imburse JB by other means.

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More winning.  Solved the earth problem which was one loose eyelet in the boot.  The alternator is suspect though, it's providing plenty of volts but the dashboard ammeter and the way the car behaves suggest it's not providing enough amps.  Don't have the amp tester at home so we'll check this out tomorrow when I'll hopefully attempt to do the balljoints now I've got the massive socket I ordered.

 

surely if it was not able to supply enough amps the voltage would drop because of that?

 

volts multiplied by amps=wattage/power :)

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From what Jim Bell has posted (at least twice) this was initiated by the bank/credit card company without Problemhamster's knowledge. He has offered to re-imburse JB by other means.

That sounds like bollocks to me, to be honest. I don’t believe that a bank would do that. PayPal is not some fly by night vendor they haven’t heard of.

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LBB:  The volts don't really drop that much, certainly not any more than you might expect with everything on.  However, you can watch the ammeter falling fairly rapidly to the point that the car almost stalls out if you've got all the systems going, as you might on a dark rainy night.  So something is certainly off somewhere.  Battery seems in good health and I'm not suffering from the usual earth issues of dodgy/dim lights or sluggish starting so the only thing I can think it could be is the alternator having an issue and, given what the dashboard ammeter shows.  I don't really know, to be honest, so it's just a case of getting the testing tools out and trying once again to learn from what Mike tells me.  With everything turned on - headlights, mainbeam, sidelights, brake lights, indicators, blower fan on full, heated rear screen, fog lights, wipers - the voltage drops to 12-ish, but the car struggles to maintain idle and comes pretty close to stalling, while the ammeter needle goes perilously close to the stop on the empty side of charging.  Also, even when it drops to nearly stalling, the alternator light doesn't come on and the alternator appears to still be charging as it should, there just isn't enough electricity to go around.

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Vulgalour - what alternator is currently fitted? IIRC these were only fitted with a 40A unit, which even at the time was only just man enough for the job. With your mods - different rear and additional lights, it could well be enough to tip a weakening alternator over the edge. Would a 1990's Mini unit fit - I think these are 50+ amps rated.

 

Don't rule out something else on the car being power hungry due to being worn out.

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LBB:  The volts don't really drop that much, certainly not any more than you might expect with everything on.  However, you can watch the ammeter falling fairly rapidly to the point that the car almost stalls out if you've got all the systems going, as you might on a dark rainy night.  So something is certainly off somewhere.  Battery seems in good health and I'm not suffering from the usual earth issues of dodgy/dim lights or sluggish starting so the only thing I can think it could be is the alternator having an issue and, given what the dashboard ammeter shows.  I don't really know, to be honest, so it's just a case of getting the testing tools out and trying once again to learn from what Mike tells me.  With everything turned on - headlights, mainbeam, sidelights, brake lights, indicators, blower fan on full, heated rear screen, fog lights, wipers - the voltage drops to 12-ish, but the car struggles to maintain idle and comes pretty close to stalling, while the ammeter needle goes perilously close to the stop on the empty side of charging.  Also, even when it drops to nearly stalling, the alternator light doesn't come on and the alternator appears to still be charging as it should, there just isn't enough electricity to go around.

 

ahh 12V that sounds a bit low indeed, so sounds like voltage is indeed dropping, but id still expect current to increase as your turn various loads

 

IIRC a healthy alternator should put out about 14V

 

(going by what you said, when you say amp meter i pictured a classic amp meter, however it sounds like the car has something different to do with how much the battery is being charged? if so then it would make sense for the needle to fall, as more current is being used, less is available for charging the battery)

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Ordered the slave cylinder. £120 from Porsche but got one from the motor factors for £79, assuming its the correct one.

 

Still twice as much as a slave cylinder for any other car though, because Porsche.

 

I'd have thought that they'd have used VW or Audi parts on these but I'm yet to buy a single shared item....

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Also doesn't help with carb cars as on injection if everything on and alternator working over time the revs will drop that's when the idle control valve kicks in and raises idle slightly. On a low idle with everything on you will struggle to replenish what's been consumed. That was one of main issues with dynamos, on idle they bairly charge. Hope that helps, could just been down to a low output alternator

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Alternator does seem to be the main suspect, having chatted to a couple of other friends about this.  I had forgotten that a while ago I had an issue with overcharging that went away before I could find the cause of it, then the alternator was normal for ages and I forgot all about it until now, when it seems to be undercharging.  I'll get a new one fitted when I can afford it, it's a fairly generic item and prices for them seems to range from about £40 to about £90, presumably on quality of manufacture?  I'll get a slightly beefier one if I can, it certainly wouldn't hurt.

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I think the 406 coupe needs a new MAF as it's seriously sluggish from start....I appreciate it's not meant to be lightening quick but it's worse than some of the leggy XUDs I've had. Takes ages for the turbo to wind up too, no doubt exacerbated by the slow speed from stand.

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