Datsuncog's Heaps: Sept 2023 - Another Year's T-Met Exemption Certificate...

[hairnet]

depends what you feed me or is your driving that cack

 

[Datsuncog]

Here, if you've been necking Harp in The Bot all night followed by a big box of doner meat on chips from The Sphinx, then you're walking, chum...

[Noel Tidybeard]

On 01/09/2022 at 10:32, Datsuncog said:

Yes... I have to say, such a thought occurred to me too - must be an age thing (early 40s also!)

I was irrationally annoyed with myself over the whole bulb thing - not so much for the unnecessary £1.79 expenditure, as that I *could* have reduced my fog light bulb count to five, but now I have seven to store indefinitely... and I'll never conceivably use seven fog light bulbs in the next twenty or thirty years.

Even taking the whole veil of mortality thing out of it, I reckon LEDs will soon become the default for most cars on the road, and incandescent auto bulbs will go the way of carbide lamps...

unless i'm being a bit dim* isn't a "fog light" bulb just an "indicator/reversing light" bulb in disguise! 🤔

*see what i did there🤣

[Datsuncog]

11 minutes ago, Noel Tidybeard said:

unless i'm being a bit dim* isn't a "fog light" bulb just an "indicator/reversing light" bulb in disguise! 🤔

*see what i did there🤣

That's... a fair point, both being 21w bulbs with a 180° pin position - though while an orange indicator bulb would probably do in a pinch as a foglight bulb, a clear foglight/ reversing bulb wouldn't be much use in either of my cars as an indicator!

'Fried egg' indicators FTW.

No clear 21W bulb included in the cheapo discount store packs, annoyingly.

I don't think I've ever needed to replace a reversing light bulb, now I come to think of it.

But if I ever do, I'm ready...

[Datsuncog]

Well, once again it takes a looming MOT to force me into getting the finger out and Do Car Stuff.

Because this ain't a good look.

Due to the vagaries and sundry woes besetting the Northern Ireland MOT system, the Corolla's test ran out in early August - but on booking it at the first opportunity I had, in late June, the earliest date I could get was in mid-November.

Which, at the time, was aaaaaages away.

Current arrangements allow cars with expired MOTs to stay on the road so long as they've an MOT booked, so that's what the Corolla's been doing since August in its capacity as a general work hack - mostly carrying load after load of 8' X 4' plasterboard sheeting on its cheapo Paddy Hopkirk roofbars.

Because really, any time not spent doing paid work has been spent doing renovation work on the house, and not very much else has got a look-in over the past six months...

Which is why yesterday morning I belatedly toddled over to the nearby motor factor and ordered up some oil and air filters. Because this thing is well overdue a service; from the various scraps of paper stuffed into an envelope which apparently counts as 'service history ', it last had an oil change in 2018. True, it was only doing <1000 miles a year since then, but still...

Of course, there's not much call for filters for 22 year old Toyotas these days, so there were none on the shelf. They'll be here on Monday, m8.

So my best-laid plans to drop the oil over the weekend were scuppered.

But hey - at least I could give it a clean, yeah? I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

 

**Dramatic pause**

 

So, vacuum cleaner out.

Even with the bootliner plus a tarp in the load area, plenty of bits of plasterboard and general grot had got everywhere. Everywhere. So I swept the biggest lumps out with a dustpan and brush before vacuuming the rest of the surfaces and upholstery.

And because I wanted to do the best job possible, I pulled the spare wheel out and cleaned out the wheel well and everything.

There was also this little side-cubby, which I hadn't really explored previously.

And inside was... why, the scissor jack.

And some rust.

Quite a lot of rust, in fact.

Fuck.

Fucketty fuck.

Ah, fuck.

Yes, that's a hole in the inner arch, right where it joins the outer skin. Quite a big one. Big enough to poke all my fat fingers through, anyway.

The corresponding area on other side is... soft. And more than just a little bit crunchy.

Not a hole yet, but I'm fairly certain that it won't take much for the tester's hammer to add lightness in not-quite the way Colin Chapman meant.

Bollocks.

As I heaved myself around underneath, trying to get a few snaps from inaccessible areas to see what exactly I was dealing with, I pressed on the bottom edge of the arch where the plastic liner meets the boot floor, and was rewarded with a sickening crunch and the liner pulling away.

Aw, for fuck's sake.

Despite the lashings and lashings of Waxoyl, despite the charming* giffer mods and the wholesome 'one family owned from new' schtick, it's starting to dawn on me that, just like TAZ the green Laguna, the previous long-term owner knew it was humped and that's why he got shot of it.

I've been giffered, yet again.

 

MOT is Friday. Realistically, I'm unlikely to get the Mechanic Of Choice to assess it before then - assuming I want to embarrass both of us by rocking up to his workshop in yet another terminally rotten Japmobile, for the third time in twelve months - so it seems my options are:

1 - Take it to the test, see what else is wrong, then make plans to repair/ dispose accordingly.

2 - Cancel the test, get my thirty quid back, cry for a bit, phone CarTakeBack (and hope I qualify for some sort of loyalty scheme, I'd like to think I do by this stage).

I'm leaning towards taking it to the test and seeing what the story is - even though my suspicions are that the final outcome will be broadly the same as Option 2, only minus the £30 test refund.

I know, I know - it's a 22 year old car, and yes these Corollas do have a bit of a reputation for attracting the old tinworm.

I did give it a going-over underneath when I looked at it, and everything seemed sound enough. But rust never sleeps (and don't I just know it), so although deeply unwelcome, this is not a wholly unexpected development.

I just hoped I'd have a little bit more time to dig myself out of the financial pit created by the house move and the ongoing cost of living disaster before this one gave up the ghost, but it looks like it's not to be.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to get 8' X 4' sheets of plasterboard transported home on the bike, but I'll think of something...

Bah.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Do you recall Rob McKenna from 'So Long and Thanks for All the Fish' by Douglas Adams?  The long-distance lorry driver that had never known it not to rain and had a book where he recorded all of the different types of rain that he had experienced?

Sad to say this but I think you might be the rust equivalent.  Do you also hate Barry Manilow?

Sorry to see this.  What an absolute pain in the arse.

[bunglebus]

[beko1987]

That's sad. Are you able to man maths it all away as a cost of the move and buy another or not quite there yet? 

No way to hide it though, I guess there's no need to panic... 

[Schaefft]

Only 3 options I see it copious amounts of non-removable tape/underseal, winging it and driving it a little while with recently expired mot or getting rid of it. Personally I'd probably lean towards #3 although #2 seems to be accepted by large parts of the population (consciously or not).

[DVee8]

Cancel Friday's  test and rebook for 3 months time. Another 3 months of  plasterboard transport.

Then car takeback.

[Datsuncog]

4 hours ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

Do you recall Rob McKenna from 'So Long and Thanks for All the Fish' by Douglas Adams?  The long-distance lorry driver that had never known it not to rain and had a book where he recorded all of the different types of rain that he had experienced?

Sad to say this but I think you might be the rust equivalent.  Do you also hate Barry Manilow?

Sorry to see this.  What an absolute pain in the arse.

Yes, yes I do remember Rob.

And I do have a burning hatred for Barry Manilow, as it happens, with his uber-smug face.

I mean, how could you not get tired of slapping him?

The worst thing is, you're not the first person, nor indeed the second, to make that comparison with Douglas Adams' character... I may have to face the very real prospect that I am indeed a minor Rust God.

Though not necessarily a Minor rust god.

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, bunglebus said:

I'll have to see if there's anyone local who even does welding now - I get the impression that the Mechanic Of Choice would prefer not to partake in work involving the old sparkly stick, if at all possible. There aren't many oily-rag garages left locally either - at least three I know have shut in the past two years, leaving fast-fits or dealerships as the main options. Could be the rising costs of doing business; could be that a lot of the mechanics were Polish and Lithuanian and have now returned home again.

If it were just a patch on a sill-end to crutch something through a final MOT, then maybe I'd find someone willing to do it - but I get the impression this has the potential to become a bit of a hellscape.

Not least because the fuel filler's in the way - and guess which genius brimmed the tank just the day before?

 

3 hours ago, beko1987 said:

That's sad. Are you able to man maths it all away as a cost of the move and buy another or not quite there yet? 

No way to hide it though, I guess there's no need to panic... 

Sadly not this time - the cost of the Corolla was factored into the moving costs as a replacement for the Outback, and the £1400 it cost to buy, tax and refresh the tyres came out of the last of my personal savings. The rest went on removal costs, solicitor's fees, estate agent fees, Stamp Duty, and all the other unseen fuckabouts like paying for broadband installation and ground rent. Seven grand - boomf - gone just like that.

I now don't have any savings left, and the ever-rising costs of construction materials needed for the house work means that I'm currently sitting halfway through the month with barely £100 left to my name.

(Small violin time)

I know, I know. There's plenty have it worse much, much worse than I do, and it's small beer in the grand scheme of things.

But buying another car's out of the question at present.

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, Schaefft said:

Only 3 options I see it copious amounts of non-removable tape/underseal, winging it and driving it a little while with recently expired mot or getting rid of it. Personally I'd probably lean towards #3 although #2 seems to be accepted by large parts of the population (consciously or not).

Believe me, I was eying up a half-used tube of Sikaflex last night and wondering if I could squeeze that into the rust hole for now... if only for the fact it's a tube of the white sealant rather than black, I might have done it too...

 

1 hour ago, DVee8 said:

Cancel Friday's  test and rebook for 3 months time. Another 3 months of  plasterboard transport.

Then car takeback.

Lord help me, that sounds like the most feasible option I've got right now...

[The_Equalizer]

11 minutes ago, Datsuncog said:

I'll have to see if there's anyone local who even does welding now ...

Dave the welder:

https://www.facebook.com/davidbrownfreedomwins/about

Used him to get the Merc back on the road. Give me a PM/Whatsapp/Call if you want full details. Oh, and I feel your pain...
 

Otherwise I'd offer it up for plasterboard duties (which you'd probably refuse.) Lol.
 

[Rust Collector]

25 minutes ago, Datsuncog said:

Believe me, I was eying up a half-used tube of Sikaflex last night and wondering if I could squeeze that into the rust hole for now...

If cancelling and re-booking would buy you more time then that’s got to be a good* shout. Will they extend the grace period on a re-book though? Seems mad as surely that could mean to you could keep a car going indefinitely without a ticket by repeatedly re-booking until they cancel that grace thing?

[junkyarddog]

 

👌🤞👍😉

[Soundwave]

11 hours ago, Datsuncog said:

just like TAZ the green Laguna, the previous long-term owner knew it was humped and that's why he got shot of it.

 

Must be a green Laguna thing, my green estate was completely shafted as well after being sold to me by the previous long-term owner!

Sorry about the Corolla.  

[Surface Rust]

Hard to see in the pics, but is that hole within 30cm of anything critical (shock, suspension arm or seatbelt mounting)? If not it might just be an advisory. Worth trying the test.

[320touring]

Ah man, that's shite news.

 

[hairnet]

Problem solved

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, The_Equalizer said:

Dave the welder:

https://www.facebook.com/davidbrownfreedomwins/about

Used him to get the Merc back on the road. Give me a PM/Whatsapp/Call if you want full details. Oh, and I feel your pain...
 

Otherwise I'd offer it up for plasterboard duties (which you'd probably refuse.) Lol.

Ah, excellent! Cheers for that... looking through Dave's Facebook pics, seems he's not averse to welding up ropey Japanese snotters (that red Fourtrak looked pretty hanging before he worked his magic) - will give him a rattle!

Is that the Land Rover that's snapped the shock mounting! Yeowch!

No vehicle deserves plasterboard duties! The mess generated taking the old broken stuff to the dump is shocking...

 

3 hours ago, Rust Collector said:

If cancelling and re-booking would buy you more time then that’s got to be a good* shout. Will they extend the grace period on a re-book though? Seems mad as surely that could mean to you could keep a car going indefinitely without a ticket by repeatedly re-booking until they cancel that grace thing?

Heh, genuine LOL at the Star Wars memeage - that's pretty much how I felt while considering it!

Well, I wasn't sure about the extended grace period - it's all a bit vague right now, and not having any functioning government over here doesn't help matters. But it seems there's not much in the way of exclusions: this is all the NIDirect website has to say on the matter:

Quote

The PSNI has agreed not to penalise drivers whose MOT has expired so long as:

• your vehicle is in a roadworthy and safe condition and doesn’t have a statutory off-road notification (SORN) declaration
• your vehicle is properly insured
• you can prove (by showing an MOT appointment notification/ reminder, either in electronic or paper form) that a test appointment has been booked for your vehicle

All other vehicle roadworthiness and insurance offences will be dealt with in the usual way.

The ABI has confirmed that the lack of a valid MOT certificate would not necessarily invalidate a motor insurance policy. However they say that if you can’t get a test appointment until after the current certificate expires, you should check your policy documents or speak to your insurer.

These arrangements only apply in Northern Ireland. They do not cover you to use your vehicle without a valid MOT certificate in other jurisdictions.

Seems that having a booked test appointment is the key thing.

Although, the question remains on whether the car can currently be considered roadworthy. Tyres, lights, brakes, emissions etc I'm pretty sure are spot on - but there is this hole in the inner wing. 

2 hours ago, Surface Rust said:

Hard to see in the pics, but is that hole within 30cm of anything critical (shock, suspension arm or seatbelt mounting)? If not it might just be an advisory. Worth trying the test.

And that's the rub - I'm not quite sure if it is or not. All those things are nearby, so I'll need to get back under with a measuring tape and see.

So it might be alright, technically - though obviously, it needs fixing properly with metal.

There were no corrosion advisories listed on the previous MOT - so this is why it wasn't uppermost in my mind before now.

But it's a big gap - about 10cm long. And I'd be surprised if the area immediately surrounding it consists of sound metal...

[Dyslexic Viking]

You have really had bad luck with cars lately and this is sad. I would either take it in for a test as is or bodge the rust holes as best you can and then take it in for a test. But making a bodge can make a proper repair later more difficult so it's something to think about.

Or better get someone to fix it properly if you can afford it.

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, Soundwave said:

Must be a green Laguna thing, my green estate was completely shafted as well after being sold to me by the previous long-term owner!

Sorry about the Corolla.  

The bodywork on the Laguna wasn't too bad - it was the engine going pop suddenly that canned it. But yeah, I was sorry to read about your estate - it looked like a good'un, but sadly didn't turn out that way...

Ah now. That's old cars for you...

2 hours ago, 320touring said:

Ah man, that's shite news.

Cheers dude - history repeating, again!

I just sat on the driveway in a bit of a daze for about half an hour.

MrsDC doesn't know yet - she really, really likes the Corolla and I'm dreading having to break it to her.

Thought I'd get longer than six months use out of it, but I'll just have to see.

1 hour ago, hairnet said:

Problem solved

Mmm, I did think about the Dacia on PCP option - though I'm not sure the lease firm would be happy with me transporting quarter tons of smashed concrete to Sullatober dump in it...

Also, I believe they want this thing called 'money' in exchange for a car, and that's something I just don't have right now!

[Datsuncog]

3 hours ago, junkyarddog said:

👌🤞👍😉

I've got both those products in the garage,,, don't tempt me!

13 minutes ago, Dyslexic Viking said:

You have really had bad luck with cars lately and this is sad. I would either take it in for a test as is or bodge the rust holes as best you can and then take it in for a test. But making a bodge can make a proper repair later more difficult so it's something to think about.

Yes, my first thought was to use sealant or filler to at least repair the hole in some way - but I do like this car, and I'd like to keep it for as long as I can.

It's otherwise clean, it drives well, and it's simple enough for me to fix.

If I can get it welded up and properly fixed, I'd rather do that and keep using it - other than the rust at the back, it seems sound.

It is just bad luck, I think!

[hairnet]

55 minutes ago, Datsuncog said:

 

 

Also, I believe they want this thing called 'money' in exchange for a car, and that's something I just don't have right now!

thats why its called the never never

 

[hairnet]

theres gotta be a an irish ginger nuttz or dodgy to weld that up

wouldnt tractor or plant places help if it wasnt too intricate?

plenty of them in the boonies

 

[hairnet]

Tonite m8

[grogee]

10 hours ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

Do you recall Rob McKenna from 'So Long and Thanks for All the Fish' by Douglas Adams?  The long-distance lorry driver that had never known it not to rain and had a book where he recorded all of the different types of rain that he had experienced?

Sad to say this but I think you might be the rust equivalent.  Do you also hate Barry Manilow?

Sorry to see this.  What an absolute pain in the arse.

Aye, "McKenna's All-Weather Transport".

 

Swish flop swish flop swish crunch.

[Datsuncog]

15 minutes ago, hairnet said:

thats why its called the never never

 

I thought it was called the never never never round these parts...

 

[grogee]

Is the MoT man able to see either of these... patina marks without removing any trim?

If not, then Shirley it's a straight* pass, no?

I mean, yes it's probably not long for this world, but with a new ticket you could smoke about in it until it goes bang, by which time you'll have magicked some money out of nowhere to buy a shiny new* Auris.

Alternatively, consider a "low" interest loan and buy a Vectra/Land Rover/NSU Ro80 (other vehicles are available).