Datsuncog's Heaps: Sept 2023 - Another Year's T-Met Exemption Certificate...

[beko1987]

When you have the driveway back and £200 in your bra, it'll all be worth it!

[SierraMikeHotel]

Fingers crossed that all goes as planned. After all you've been through, £200 in your hand and both cars gone today sounds like a perfect outcome.

[Tickman]

Well, he wants KAZ and TAZ, and is coming down tonight with the cash. £200 for the pair.

 

 

That is a brilliant result and certainly well worth not having to deal with idiots for weeks. 

[mrbenn]

I'd say £200 in your hand and both cars on the way is a massive result! Nice work!

 

Yeah you could have sold the splitter etc etc but I'm not sure I could be arsed at this stage, so this sounds like it will be a nice win.

[Parky]

As Monie Love herself once warbled, it's a shame. But you gave it a darn good go against two heaps that didn't want to be saved and gave us all a cracking thread in the process.

 

I think you need something fuss free next time, like a Carina or a Honda Civic bought off an old boy with 20000 on the clock and a full dealer history. You will be hard pressed to generate much of a thread from it (after all it would say "car works, got a bit wet in the rain, no problems") as reliable motors generally don't generate much commentary. Sure you'll find a way to make even the dullest vehicle somehow interesting with your prose.

 

Here's to TAZ and KAZ. May they gloriously live on as a fridge freezer in the Asia Pacific region or Dog food tins for Latin Americans.

 

Bonne Chance et Merci Lagunas!

[320touring]

Back to winning ways!

 

[oldcars]

Result, and no twix's or deep fat fryers as a swap.

[Jams]

All works out well in the end mate

[Shep Shepherd]

Everyone loves a happy (ish) ending 

 

Looking forward to seeing what you buy next ^^

[davehedgehog31]

Think you're getting off at the right point Sir. 

 

Would be interested to hear what your man says his plans are for them.

[Supernaut]

Take a look at Supernaut's 320i thread for what a new owner can achieve with a car that has ostensibly barked it's last:)

Admittedly it just needed minor, fiddly little worn out stuff and things. I'd baulk at doing a brake master cylinder!

[GrumpiusMaximus]

You’re a braver man than I for taking on the Lagunas in the first place. Braver still for being able to let go and sell. Chodspeed.

[SiC]

Great that you sold these without too much hassle. You can hope that they may get repaired and put back on the road. Or stored in a big field to be rediscovered in 2035 and sold as a barn find.

 

I'm not one for doing the whole changing cars too quickly either. Mostly because the selling bit I find very stressful and can't be bothered. I enjoy the hunt for a car but really don't enjoy the worry I have for the first few weeks before I can determine if I have a lemon or not.

 

The only time I go crazy and buy a car quickly is if pushed or its bargain. I really can't resist a bargain, even if I have absolutely no use for it or not really something I even like.

[RobT]

So what's next then? Upping the ante with a Gooner II V6...?!

 

Fair play you had a go, but it was definitely time to bail.

[Datsuncog]

Well well well...

So Local RennnerNut shows up as promised this evening, in fact a little early. Hearteningly, he pulls up in a giffertastic beige Citroen Picasso, fitted with Mercedes wheeltrims, despite the fact he's only roughly my age.

Handshakes are exchanged; he spends literally twenty seconds walking around KAZ, commenting what brilliant cars they are, the Phase 1s, and brushes off any suggestion that I bother myself to go and get the keys so he can see inside or even, y'know, start the thing.

He appears delighted, despite the fact this little car is layered in birdshit and looks like a bunch of angry, pissed-up sailors have attacked it with table legs, then vomited on it, then slept in it. He's chill. TAZ gets even less attention; a brief inclination of the head is sufficient.

He advises me that he can't take them away tonight - he'd hoped to get a friend with a transporter along this evening, but it turns out he's away on holiday. The plan is to arrive back on Saturday with two cars and a trailer, one to tow TAZ (who's still legal, with tax and MOT in place) and one to trailer KAZ (who's still on SORN). But he's itching to get the paperwork sorted out now.

As he seems fearsomely keen to press some cash into my sweaty little palms, I don't argue with this line of thinking, and usher him into my boudoir (the kitchen).

But stay! RennerNut (who, as it turns out is not that local after all, hailing from west of the Bann) has clocked my small but tastefully curated collection of shite in miniature on display in the hall, and is transfixed.

So we start talking about models, and he asks whether I have any for sale. As it happens, I do - boxes and boxes of diecast out in the shed, that I do not quite have the mental fortitude to deal with photographing, listing, selling and posting, on top of all my recent Laguna fun*. I bring him in a sample box. He's over the moon. I bring in another, and another. Solido, Eligor, Vanguards, Corgi Classics, Vitesse... plus old Dinky, Corgi, Budgie, Spot-On, Lesney Matchbox...  I've still got boxes and boxes he hasn't seen.

[^^^ sample pics only - some of these have already been sold, like the green Escort Mexico and the grey Wolseley taxi]

He asks whether I have a price in mind for the whole lot. I'm taken aback rather; I kind of haven't. I've sold a few here and there, and I'd been hoping to raise maybe a couple of thousand quid from them, eventually... I waffle and stammer for a bit, concerned I'm going to find myself saying something stupid like "forty quid", but I manage not to. We agree that I'll bring them all in, count them up, then get back to him with a price before Saturday. He's sure we can strike a bargain.

Cor!!

Almost as an afterthought, he counts off £200 from a reasonably-sized roll of notes and hands it to me, and I give him the pair of V5s. We attempt to carry out an online Change of Ownership transaction, but the DVLA website is only open between 7am and 7pm, apparently. A website that keeps office hours. Well done, doovla. *Slow handclap*

RennerNut is pretty chatty, and regales me for almost an hour with his recent acquisitions. He's bought several (real) motorbikes this week already, and seems to engage in a great deal of online auctions. He shows me pictures of 1960s Matchbox store displays, and enamel signs, and talks about some particularly rare agricultural lamps that turned up in a box of tractor bits. He's upfront that most of the models will be going on Ebay, and reiterates that we can surely reach a deal. To be honest, my head's spinning a bit.

Eventually, after several false leave-takings that terminate in another anecdote, he makes it as far as the front door and takes a quick tour of TAZ's perimeter, again brushing off the suggestion of looking inside.

His plan is to get both these cars back on the road again - eventually. He really likes Mk1 Lags, and the idea is to get them home and into the barn for now.

He regrets that he's nothing to offer me in terms of transport - maddeningly, he sold a really clean AX just the other week. He likes the Picasso though, has run it for four years now though it's becoming a bit long in the tooth. He couldn't scrap it, though - and he's already cleared a corner of the barn to push it into when the time comes, and let it enjoy its retirement.

So amid profuse thanks and promises to let me know when he's on his way on Saturday, he heads off. I'm feeling a bit dizzy. It's kind of like I've just received a visit from my fairy chodfather.

I'm still no clearer what his actual job is, but suspect he must be doing alright. Either way, he has the title to both Lagunas, and I've got £200 in my back pocket (plus a tenner for some rubber 1960s Tomte-Laerdahl Volkswagens that he could't leave without).

If we can come to a deal on the models, then I may be spared many months of online misery, trudges to the post-office and bloody parcel tape everywhere...

...and my budget for replacing the Gooner Twins may have exponentially increased by quite some margin.

I'm hopeful.

[paulplom]

You need to get the buyer of the lagooners on here. He could even continue on with you thread. I would love to read all about his day to day misery. It makes me feel a whole lot happier.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Datsuncog, you're one of the good guys and you deserve this spot of luck!

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Things have worked out swimmingly for once! If the budget is suitably large I would suggest keeping a couple of quid to the side and treating Mrs Datsuncog to an evening out as way of recompense for the weekends she has lost to your good self.

 

This will see the brownie point bank suitably refilled to cover time spent on your next acquisition!

 

Sent from my F3211 using Tapatalk

[purplebargeken]

I think that you went above and beyond in keeping the Frenchies up and running. Sometimes knowing when to throw in the towel is vitally important for one's sanity and wallet (I have yet to learn this properly). Hopefully the sale of the models will result in a suitable budget that will see you with something both interesting and worthy.

 

Cracking thread and I await your next purchase with much excite.

[mk2_craig]

That's great news! Work out a rough price per model (say a tenner), multiply by how many you have, then knock a third off for a job lot. Absolutely worth the dented income for a quick sale.

[oldcars]

That Simca taxi model is class. Love it. 

 

You have done well with that chap, seems like a top lad. Good to see.

[stephen01]

I've​ still not read the whole thread but I absoualtly love reading your posts, effortless reading. 

​Sad that you've come to an end with your journey on these cars however you have made a decision that you're happy with and the stress has gone -  your hobby should be fun ,that fun can quickly disappear when it's your main transport.  
 

[Talbot]

your hobby should be fun ,that fun can quickly disappear when it's your main transport.

This is oh-so true.

Tinkering on a car you are not reliant on, on a lovely warm summers day, with all your tools to hand and a nice solid level driveway is quite pleasant.

Trying to change a rotten brake pipe at 9pm, on soft ground in the pissing rain to get the car you have to drive to work tomorrow back on the road is utter utter misery.

[mrbenn]

Well now, this is a turn up for the books! And a well deserved bit of good luck.

 

I've heard tale of chaps like this existing in the shadows, only very very rarely coming out into the light in order to mitigate a disaster. Never have I read of one at such close quarters.

 

Excellent

[Tadhg Tiogar]

.....I'm still no clearer what his actual job is, but suspect he may be doing alright by renting out agricultural land. Either way, he has the title to both Lagunas, and I've got £200 in my back pocket (plus a tenner for some rubber 1960s Tomte-Laerdahl Volkswagens that he could't leave without).

 

If we can come to a deal on the models, then I may be spared many months of online misery, trudges to the post-office and bloody parcel tape everywhere...

 

...and my budget for replacing the Gooner Twins may have exponentially increased by quite some margin.

 

I'm hopeful.

Fair play to ye. 

[Datsuncog]

On 4/23/2018 at 5:50 PM, davehedgehog31 said:

Would be interested to hear what your man says his plans are for them.

 

On 4/23/2018 at 10:58 PM, SiC said:

Great that you sold these without too much hassle. You can hope that they may get repaired and put back on the road. Or stored in a big field to be rediscovered in 2035 and sold as a barn find.

 

On 4/23/2018 at 5:20 PM, Parky said:

Here's to TAZ and KAZ. May they gloriously live on as a fridge freezer in the Asia Pacific region or Dog food tins for Latin Americans.

Bonne Chance et Merci Lagunas!

Amazingly, he says he does plan to do something with them one day. I don't know him well enough to know whether he's a pipe dreamer or a go-getter, but his business model seems to be working out alright for him. Yes, I'm intrigued... I can't decide whether his house might resemble an Amazon warehouse, or Mr Trebus' abode... but he apparently has a young family, so I'm guessing nothing too tabloid.

Given my appallingly overwrought emotional investment in my rubbishy cars, this is the absolute best outcome I could have hoped for. An enthusiast who wants to dry-store them as part of a collection of cars that are currently scrap value, but will become interesting and worth fixing* in years to come.

*I know, I know - 'Buying and Selling Large French Hatchbacks for Fun and Profit'  isn't exactly a book title setting the bestseller lists ablaze (see the late DoubleYeller for details), but there's a very strong affection for Renners (or "the Ren-aults" as they're pronounced here, including the 't') in Norn Iron. I'd like to think they'll maybe see the road one day; but even if not, they'll likely have a happier retirement in a giant barn of chod than during a brief but very eventful visit to T-Met's yard by the docks.

 

On 4/23/2018 at 11:47 PM, RobT said:

So what's next then? Upping the ante with a Gooner II V6...?!

Heh, fuck no. I'm delighted that Beko87's example is largely behaving itself, but the number of disgruntled Laguna II customers I had mumping across the parts desk at me when they were new managed to put me off for life!

 

On 4/24/2018 at 5:41 AM, paulplom said:

You need to get the buyer of the lagooners on here. He could even continue on with you thread. I would love to read all about his day to day misery. It makes me feel a whole lot happier.

Well now, there's an Autoshite sticker in the back window of KAZ with the website address... I'll definitely mention it to him, though in a way I'd be terrified that he'll find my affectionate description of him on this here thread and take the hump...

In fairness, he's also one of the happiest and most upbeat fellas I've met recently, and I suppose if all I had to do was dump the cars in a barn and not have to arse around on the driveway in the rain with them, I'd be a happy bunny too!

 

On 4/24/2018 at 8:13 AM, They_all_do_that_sir said:

Things have worked out swimmingly for once! If the budget is suitably large I would suggest keeping a couple of quid to the side and treating Mrs Datsuncog to an evening out as way of recompense for the weekends she has lost to your good self.

This will see the brownie point bank suitably refilled to cover time spent on your next acquisition!

Indeed... I haven't mentioned it yet, but if a fair sum can be procured, then I don't think a weekend away somewhere nice would be out of the question. She's been unbelievably tolerant of my shiter habits over the years, and although she mostly enjoys the fact that I buy and run abject heaps for the kind of money some people drop on a pair of shoes, I know the past few weeks have been very trying. So good call.

 

On 4/24/2018 at 8:25 AM, purplebargeken said:

I think that you went above and beyond in keeping the Frenchies up and running. Sometimes knowing when to throw in the towel is vitally important for one's sanity and wallet (I have yet to learn this properly). Hopefully the sale of the models will result in a suitable budget that will see you with something both interesting and worthy.

Cracking thread and I await your next purchase with much excite.

Yup, you're quite right. I once spent four years and a stack of cash trying to rebuild a total heap of a Viva HC... only to have it vandalised a few months after it was resprayed and finished. That car broke my heart and my mind. The restoration was also unbelievably rubbish, to the point that when JunkyardDog of this parish found it some years after it passed from my hands, he had to use a dustpan and brush to get it home. I'll never be doing that again.

I know you had a rough time with your Rover earlier in the year, so I have every sympathy! I think you've got it right.

 

On 4/24/2018 at 8:44 AM, mk2_craig said:

That's great news! Work out a rough price per model (say a tenner), multiply by how many you have, then knock a third off for a job lot. Absolutely worth the dented income for a quick sale.

Yep, I'll go through them later on... most aren't worth much, but there are some boxed 70s and 80s Tomicas that I know can fetch surprising amounts, and some other oddball rarities... I know he won't close his wallet and walk off if my first offer seems a little high - he seems to thrive on bartering and dealing, though oddly he's absolutely not one of those hard-nosed, grind-'em-down types. I just don't want to sell myself short, as I know I really undersold a lot of my LPs two years ago to a dealer (he was offering me £3 for discs worth £75. I bid him up, but not by a lot). There's far too many models for me to check them all individually on Ebay, so I reckon your system would work well. But since he was willing to buy the lot basically sight unseen, maybe he's not that fussy... I'll have a think and come back later, maybe on the Shite in Miniature thread.

 

On 4/24/2018 at 9:35 AM, stephen01 said:

I've still not read the whole thread but I absolutely love reading your posts, effortless reading. 

Sad that you've come to an end with your journey on these cars however you have made a decision that you're happy with and the stress has gone -  your hobby should be fun ,that fun can quickly disappear when it's your main transport.  

Cheers man! You're quite right, it's all about stress reduction - it's been a rotten old winter for many of us here, and the happy vibes are at a low ebb. I'm glad I owned these cars, but also glad to see them go. I've done all I can. And thanks for the kind words!

Onward and upward!

[HillmanImp]

If he's friends with R9UKE he will probably be aware of the site already.

[Datsuncog]

On 4/24/2018 at 1:40 PM, HillmanImp said:

If he's friends with R9UKE he will probably be aware of the site already.

Very likely.

Wish R9UKE spent a bit more time on these pages; the (completely genuine) ads for his various Trade-In Turd Of The Week cars really make me titter.

https://www.facebook.com/lmccarsbelfast/posts/1579871502068645

https://www.facebook.com/lmccarsbelfast/posts/1558807997508329

https://www.facebook.com/lmccarsbelfast/posts/1502362936486169

https://www.facebook.com/lmccarsbelfast/posts/1421451834577280

https://www.facebook.com/lmccarsbelfast/posts/1393233114065819

https://www.facebook.com/lmccarsbelfast/posts/1333873846668413

He still curates a substantial Ulster version of the Field of Dreams, to the best of my knowledge.

[Datsuncog]

Right.

 

I'm off to view A Thing.

 

It is not French.

 

It is not a hatchback.

 

It is not fwd.

 

It is not 1990s.

 

 

Stay tuned.

[Dirk Diggler]

https://www.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/volvo-v70-d5-s-e4/18596004

 

Not too far from you, 595 Volvo v70 d5; looks nice