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HMC- AUTOSHITE 2.0


HMC

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WTF towbar?!?!?!

Ace cars! I had one new, loved it, hated owning it as a new car because the dealers were beyond wank so there was no benefit from the premium I paid.

I've always got one eye open for a noisy fast one. Big turbo, even less exhaust and some decent seats, wheels and suspension would make them an absolute dream to blezz about in! Not like the usual golf r hothatch shite where you can do 175mph sideways without even noticing and the next day someone breaks into your house and holds you hostage for your keys to use it as a getaway car after robbing £500 from a cash machine

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10 hours ago, HMC said:

I was a bit reluctant to post it on the main forum as it’s not that old, but decided as the basic model was launched 16 years ago, that it was ok.

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I can see why people might complain that it's non-shite, but the way the used car market is right now, I wouldn't be surprised if you paid less for this than what some manky old 2004 Corolla would have cost you.

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1 hour ago, mk2_craig said:

I can see why people might complain that it's non-shite, but the way the used car market is right now, I wouldn't be surprised if you paid less for this than what some manky old 2004 Corolla would have cost you.

That’s it, the fun of really cheap cars isnt so much fun when something not long ago circa £350 is now 3 times the price or more. I decided with that avenue of pleasure* pretty much closed off at the present time I may as well just get something that bit newer, and less shite. The main factor was that I can’t stomach paying over a grand for something that was ATM fodder untill a couple of years ago. No ta. Doesn’t feel like a good deal to me.

To my eyes it’s the death of the lifeblood of the forum. At least it is for HMC motors (ltd) suppliers of forum fodder.

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Had one for a weekend and it was bouncy but fun. I think my problem with them is that Fiat just continually flogs this 500 horse which should be six feet under by now. Then again if I was Marchionne or whoever it is, I'd be mad to kill off something which sells so well for so little investment.

Then there's the continual turd glittering: Abarth, Essess, 595, Biposto, I just can't keep up. It's become like Porsche 911s trying to work out the hierarchy. 

However... I know the lanes round HMC's bailiwick and small, powerful front-wheel drive is ideal. And it's fairly narrow too, which also helps.

The towbar is giving me heart palpitations but @HMC has never been one to court popularity, so I expect it'll stay.

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3 minutes ago, AnthonyG said:

Do these come with any form of suspension? I ask because my mums’ 500 Sporting is bad enough, and that’s just a trim level…

They do look quite enjoyable otherwise! 

It’s a bit raw and skittery over bumps, especially if on a curve at speed; fun or draining depending on your taste !

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This ropey Boxster is an interesting companion to the Abarth 595.

The Porsche seats are so much more comfortable, and the steering feel and feedback is so much better. ( the boxster’s is hydraulic, the Abarth’s electric.)
 

Both cars sound great in their own way. The induction nose on both is epic, particularly the Abarth as it has an aftermarket induction kit that sucks air from the base of the windscreen; it snorts and chatters like a rally car.  TBH I find it hilarious in a little city car. With the intake almost in the cabin it sounds a bit WRC. Might irritate a non enthusiast, but easily reversible.

The ride in the Porsche is also more supple and less rough and ragged.

Lately It got covered In some bird shit, nae  bother. I still haven’t washed it. The paint is already a bit messy. That’s the beauty of this one. Get in it, use it, cane it. Park it wherever. No need to waste precious time putting 14 layers of polish on it or crying if it gets scratched. 

29E11739-5276-40D3-8F89-9815CEE02C18.thumb.jpeg.9fdb67cd2f81b1b64b4976c504f816e0.jpeg

 

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  • HMC changed the title to HMC- Bear’s arse rough Boxster fun
On 1/31/2023 at 11:02 PM, cobblers said:

WTF towbar?!?!?!

Ace cars! I had one new, loved it, hated owning it as a new car because the dealers were beyond wank so there was no benefit from the premium I paid.

I've always got one eye open for a noisy fast one. Big turbo, even less exhaust and some decent seats, wheels and suspension would make them an absolute dream to blezz about in! Not like the usual golf r hothatch shite where you can do 175mph sideways without even noticing and the next day someone breaks into your house and holds you hostage for your keys to use it as a getaway car after robbing £500 from a cash machine

Yes, I’m confused by the towbar. It pops out out the fake rear diffuser, which just looks wierd. I’m assuming it was used to hold a bicycle carrier maybe? 

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I spotted on e bay last week a little spotters thing I had when I was a kid, and duely bought it now.

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It used to keep me occupied …..

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And probably started my life long fascination with number plates. It also made me buy a particular plate some time ago as it triggered a memory of that old book I used to own…..

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The book I’m now reading in the car with the plate, bought because of the childhood memory of the plate in the book!

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  • HMC changed the title to HMC- Number plates and the book responsible!

I was parking earlier and I caught the horn push with my hand as I was turning the wheel, not hard has the entire massive centre boss is the horn push.
 

Anyway a lady in a lowered vw caddy ahead of me lost it and got in my face. I kept apologising that it was a genuine error and not malicious / intentional, she said she was going to take a swing at me and then gestured at my car and called me a posh bastard, then got back in her car and drove off. 

Little did she know it cost way less than hers, and I was going to get a kebab. 

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2 hours ago, HMC said:

I was parking earlier and I caught the horn push with my hand as I was turning the wheel, not hard has the entire massive centre boss is the horn push.
 

Anyway a lady in a lowered vw caddy ahead of me lost it and got in my face. I kept apologising that it was a genuine error and not malicious / intentional, she said she was going to take a swing at me and then gestured at my car and called me a posh bastard, then got back in her car and drove off. 

Little did she know it cost way less than hers, and I was going to get a kebab. 

What a twat

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This Abarth 595 is a bit new for here, but it’s got enough in built foibles and flaws that it feels from an older age; a bit like an 80s hot hatch. 

The ride is pretty rough, and the power delivery is quite peaky. I usually get bored of cars quickly; will the things that tire non enthusiast normal people (crashy ride, odd seat design and driving position, Induction sound effects turned up to 11) keep me entertained longer than usual?

09520290-A332-492A-8FE1-950887C8C070.thumb.jpeg.65ee9f8808eb98c6fda6da16361ebc15.jpeg

It was a toss up between this, or a 500c (soft roof) twin air. I like the idea of those but I got scared off a few too many “spares or repairs” e bay ads with the twin air. Does anyone have any real world experience with one?

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  • HMC changed the title to HMC- Abarth 595 aka chavved fiat 500

I have had a few as courtesy cars and I found them desperately slow with annoying power delivery, they sounded like shit, weren't really any good on fuel and generally quite hateful things overall. I am completely baffled that they didn't just scrap the project entirely, and amazed that they carried it into production and then some people actually bought one brand new, inexplicably!

Definitely autoshite.

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22 hours ago, HMC said:

a lowered vw caddy 

We are in temporary accommodation and the couple next to us have a lowered VW Caddy for their 'business' which is something to do with dogs.

The bloke also has a suspiciously clean Fiat souped-up 500.

We wave and smile and say hello, but he looks like a right twat, and I bet the reason they're renting a holiday cottage off-season is because he's spaffed all his money on lowering springs and alloy wheels. 

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1 hour ago, HMC said:

This Abarth 595 is a bit new for here, but it’s got enough in built foibles and flaws that it feels from an older age; a bit like an 80s hot hatch. 

The ride is pretty rough, and the power delivery is quite peaky. I usually get bored of cars quickly; will the things that tire non enthusiast normal people (crashy ride, odd seat design and driving position, Induction sound effects turned up to 11) keep me entertained longer than usual?

09520290-A332-492A-8FE1-950887C8C070.thumb.jpeg.65ee9f8808eb98c6fda6da16361ebc15.jpeg

It was a toss up between this, or a 500c (soft roof) twin air. I like the idea of those but I got scared off a few too many “spares or repairs” e bay ads with the twin air. Does anyone have any real world experience with one?

Only experience is when a brand new twinair 500 returned about 35mpg with me driving like miss daisy. Dreadful real-world economy. 

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