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It's grim up north....tales from the Primate House


NorthernMonkey

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  • 3 weeks later...

Following a chance conversation with a local classic trader who was moving a car from the local farm where I store a few bits, this happened...

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Farewell, little green Moggy...it was a pleasure trying to squeeze behind your incredibly large steering wheel.
It’s space on the driveway has been occupied by another product of the midlands (also curiously lacking in driver comfort and only slightly more refined a driving experience)

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Don’t suppose anyone here has got a surplus 14” approx diameter steering wheel with a 48 spline boss to fit a Defender?

 

 

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According to uncle Boris, we’re now ok to travel as far as we want for exercise so, bearing this in mind, the divine Mrs NM and I decided to set off this morning at 07.00 to drive 260 miles south in order to take a gentle stroll around a fellow shiters driveway, obviously whilst keeping a social distance at all times.

We can’t find anything in the rules to state we must travel back in the same vehicle though, so we are thinking of purchasing another vehicle in order that I can play my favourite show tunes CD whilst she listens to radio 2 on the drive back home from our pre-planned exercise.

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Having got as far as Luton before passing a sign saying essential travel only, we pulled over and rung Mr Cummings for some advice.

Good news...once I’d explained what we were planning, he agreed it was indeed essential and in fact he wishes he’d thought of this a few weeks ago.

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That was a nice stroll.

Luckily enough, there was actually a vehicle for sale so we decided it would be rude not to.
 

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We are now enjoying* an overpriced Ginsters in the car park at Clackett lane services as everywhere is shut other than that well known, Michelin starred purveyor of fine quality pastry snacks, W.H.Smith esq.

Living the Autoshite dream here, chaps...

 

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On 5/6/2020 at 11:54 PM, hairnet said:

you were talking about coils - had a stick coil split on a kawasaki while in ireland - rang the only kwak place in the country - how much m9

something like 85 quid for the coil (which id have to wait for) and 3 hours labour!!!!!!!!!!! rate then was at least 60-65 euro an hour

googled part numbers and found out what car they also fit (worked in trade a long time - never buy stuff on cars thats made by others from dealers)

me and uncle pat did it at the side of the cavan athlone road in about that including tea and rain showers for 29 quid i think a denso one was (been 12 years)

used to get plugs for a friend for his aprilia rsv - iridium flash ones (2001)

found out they were shared with ferraris - ngk from fezza 25 quid each + vat (12)

aprilia wanted 11 quid each - theres only two but even so

crossed them and the normal ones were 2.30 each and iridi were 5.ish each

insane

I worked for Lucas. One of the projects I was involved with was the Smart Solenoid project. We in Keighley were to make a replacement on off solenoid for the DPC pump.  College Road in Brum, were to attach electronics to it and cover it with hardened steel, and then ship it to Lucas Diesel.in Blois  in the Loire Valley, who would fit one every 6 seconds to a DPC pump. 

We had access to the previous designs variants made in Gillingham (24v) and La Rochel (12v) and made a trip to France to see how they made it. Ours was half the size because we had to make room for the electronics. 

 

Our costings showed that thiers cost about £4 to make and the ours would be £3.50. The electronics and hardened steel cover would add about £15. 

Now imagine when I'd left Lucas and had a problem which I thought was the on off solenoid on my AX 1.4D.  On heavy braking coming off the motorway, it would cut out. 

To aid my diagnosis, I priced up a new La Rochel made solenoid.

At VW Rover Citroen Puegot dealers. 

Prices ranging from 65 to 85 quid. 

Now that's some Mark Up. But turns out to be typical in automotive. 

I turned up the idle speed instead. 

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Got to say a massive thank you to @colc who was happy to spend his bank holiday waiting in for us....it was an absolute pleasure to meet you ?

The big grey bugger performed faultlessly on the return journey. Having filled the tank when we left Maidstone, I topped up again back up here and have averaged 25mpg which, bearing in mind I didn’t exactly hang about, I am more than happy with.

You’ll have to wait until tomorrow for much in the way of further updates as it’s currently sat outside a customers house in the village where I left it this morning to collect a Fiesta for service and MOT.

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Just use your imagination....it’s the same colour but  a smidge bigger.

That bloody exhaust note though when you fire it up.....hilarious! ?? (the Nissan obvs, not the Fezza)

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8 hours ago, Flat4 said:

Yes! It's moved north! Dibs please, if you ever sell it ;) How do you find the driving position?

Driving position is ok, could probably do to be sat either 2 inches further back or 2 inches higher for ultimate comfort but it’s not really an issue. I may have a fiddle with the seat brackets and the mig later though.

Got to get rid of that silly plastic footrest where the clutch pedal would normally be though. That’s my usual 1st mod on any new MX5 too.

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By the way, after the culinary experience of Clackets Lane, we stopped to swap cars at Oxford services only to find their bloody Burger King open.

No junk food for two months only to be then handed the chance when we’d already dined* not 45 minutes previously.

You couldn’t make that shit up. 

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The Defender made it to the front of the queue this week for a bit of TLC.
Number one on the to do list was to sort the seats out...the existing ones have seen better days to say the least...

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First thought was to get hold of a retrim kit but unfortunately my seats turned out to be custom ones based on an earlier discovery frame for which the foam etc is no longer available.

Plan B involved purchasing some proper Defender seats, a set of which were found on eBay which also require recovering but for which the covers etc are still available so in theory, I should be able to get a set of newly upholstered, correctly specced seats for around £200 in total.

Anyway, collection of the seats was duly arranged for yesterday afternoon. They were located on a farm some 30 miles across the Pennines, a journey which would normally take 45 minutes at worst but for some emergency resurfacing work on the M62 following an incident that occurred the previous night.

Two and a half hours later, we arrived in the middle of nowhere to a farmyard full of Land Rover products ranging from early Disco 1s through expedition prepped Defenders to a late model 4.4 TDV8 Range Rover.

Pleasantries exchanged, the Landy seats were stuck in the back of the Elgrand and discussion turned to the green oval brand in general.

Now, to set the scene further, I’ve recently disposed of my daily XC70 and have realised I quite miss having a comfy 4x4 load lugger to smoke around in. I bought a P38 from here the other year but it’s still very much a work in progress, requiring quite a bit of welding and paintwork along with other issues that keep raising their head, so in reality is still no nearer being road legal. The sensible* option would surely be to keep an eye out on eBay etc for a slightly tidier, MOTd example that could be pressed into immediate service.

Can you see where this is going?

 

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Just had to watch the F1. The last lap was probably more entertaining than the rest of the race!

Anyway, I digress. Whilst nattering about all things Land Rover, I may have mentioned I was in the market for a cheap RR.  ‘That one there is my dads old one...he may be selling it’ said the chap. ‘Hang on, I’ll go get him.’

Ten minutes later, they started emptying all their stuff out of it whilst Mrs NM and I retired to the nearby Tesco for a quick coffee and sandwich before returning to complete the paperwork. 

So, welcome to the dearest set of Defender seats you’re ever likely to find....
 

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It’s an 07 Vogue 3.6TDV8 with the later six speed ZF auto box and 270odd BHP to play with.

In shite defence, it was very cheap indeed due mainly to the slightly* dog eared paint finish in places, mainly on the roof but also a bit on the bonnet and a couple of doors, where the top coat has lifted in spots after a respray 8 years ago.

Mechanically though, everything seems ok...the dad did a full engine rebuild last year including new pistons etc after a turbo let go. It’s since been used daily including a trip to Austria and back with no issues, everything works including the air con, there’s absolutely no sign of corrosion anywhere at all including the underside, it’s never failed an MOT and the interior will clean up very nicely with a bit of elbow grease. 

The plan is to give it a bloody good clean then run it for six months or so. Assuming nothing falls off, it’ll then be into my mates paint shop for a bit of a tidy up or even possibly a wrap which may turn out to be more cost effective.

Either that or it’ll fail in a spectacularly expensive way at which point I’ll admit defeat and go buy a Santa Fe.

I’ll endeavour to update this thread accordingly as to how viable it is to run one of these things on a Ford Focus budget.

WCPGW?

PS It also has the obligatory Xenon lights for burning the retinas of the poor bastards in front in true ‘get out of my way’ fashion...
 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Had a bit of spare time this afternoon so I stuck yesterday’s arrival up on the two poster to see what we’re looking at.

Badge of much forward momentum...

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Exhaust of much excessive noise...

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Time to order a new bottle of Vactan...

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It has the all important stopping devices...

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The coolant is still there after a somewhat spirited trans pennine jaunt yesterday afternoon...

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Although we were limited to 4th gear, almost certainly because of this...

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The rear gear linkage has a hell of a lot of slop. I’ve ordered an upgrade from a well known MG TF specialist mentioned on the original sales thread so hopefully once that’s fitted, the gear change should be improved no end. The cables actually seem ok so we will see.

The underside coolant pipes appear to have seen better days too so we’d better stick a pair of stainless steel ones on the list whilst we’re at it...

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Josh, the previous owner, mentioned the corrosion on the sill ends and arches. There is a little there but it’s purely surface...a good clean up with the flap disc and some vactan/primer/paint should see it back to almost factory fresh...

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So, to summarise, the to do list currently stands at

A new battery

Fit the passenger window regulator that was supplied

Probably replace the tyres as although they’re keeping air and are actually still circular, they are 9 years old and past their best

General de-scale and tidy up the underside

Replace the coolant pipes

Fit the modded gear linkage

Replace the rear plastic window as it’s gone opaque (although is still watertight)

Replace the rear exhaust box, possibly with a fancy aftermarket one

It appears a longish list but realistically there’s nothing too serious and once that lot is done, I should be left with a very well sorted, low mileage TF160.

I reckon it’ll cost around £5-600 in bits altogether, which added to the purchase price of £500 should see me in for just over a grand but they seem to be going for anything up to £2.5k with lowish miles so I’m happy to throw a few quid at it.

All told, I’m very happy indeed with it...it’s probably better than described in the original sales thread and bringing it back over the tops yesterday with the roof down and the sun out actually reminded me of one of my most enjoyable drives ever, in a M3 drop top one early spring morning, up the fosse way and across rural Leicestershire years ago.

 

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The gear change bits for the MG TF arrived today so it was up on the ramp for a bit if TLC this afternoon. 

After a bit of degreasing, we found the true cause of the lack of 5th gear...

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There should be a little horse shoe shaped clip on there which has fallen off so the cable outer keeps falling out of the bracket. One has been ordered so once that comes, I’ll fit the uprated linkage at the same time.

Then, I turned to the exhaust. It’s actually the flange on the cat that has rotted away to nothing so it’s impossible to get a good join to the back box...


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...so a new cat is on order too. 

With the exhaust off, it seemed a good idea to start doing a bit of cleaning and rust proofing of the rear subframe...


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...managed to do around half with the bit of vactan left in the bottle so had to order some more of that too. It does look better, though...

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That’s about as far as I can go with it at the minute. I would have fitted the new window regulator but that will be a lot easier on the four poster in the other workshop so it can wait until Monday when I’ve had a move around. 

Finally, a gratuitous yard shot for good measure... ? 
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Beer O’clock now.

 

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  • 1 month later...

I know there’s a few Metro lickers on here...took this in p/x today...

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Pretty clean at the business end...

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Slightly below average mileage for the year...

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It needs a bit of welding around the front jacking points and on the inner sill at one side by the rear subframe mount, as well as a very small hole on the subframe itself, which may get replaced if I could find a cleaner one. It’s a shame as the rest of it has been extensively waxoyled from new and really is like new underneath.

God knows what it’s worth but I’m sure it’ll be somebody’s cup of tea. It really is a very pleasant little thing to drive!

 

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2 minutes ago, Andyrew said:

That is rather lovely.  

Reminds me of my very first car my Dad bought for me. That was a black Austin metro 1988 on a q plate q758jwy for info. Also a 3dr. I owned it in 1999.

I am not, repeat, absolutely not interested in the slightest*

Can't weld either**

 

 

 

*absolutely love it.

**know a cheap as chips tame one though.

 

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  • 1 month later...

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