Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I am at Wolverhampton, Jewel of ..., well nowhere, really. Soon I hope to be on a train heading to somewhere that is actually quite northern (well to me, at any rate). I have already been on two trains. The first was a Chiltern chuffer to Banbury, that I only just caught in time, for reasons indicated below. The second was a Cross Country train on its way from Southampton or somewhere to Manchester. I got off at W'hampton to catch a train that is headed to Edinburgh and various non-Scotchlander places en route. As I am lugging some heavy and very dull work files and trying to get something done, I spaffed for first class, even though I won't be able to claim it against tax, as I am not on my way to or from a gig. Cross Country First Class proclaims that it is just like being at your house. On this basis, my house must have crap coffee, broken wifi, and a strong stench of the kharzi. Well, the coffee at my place is damn good, let me tell you. Now for a car bit. Yesterday on this very forum I made the rookie error of referring to my Rover SD1 as reliable. Naturally this has put the car into a massive sulk, and it retaliated this morning by leaving its interior lights on despite all the doors being closed. A quick faff to find the kill switch failed (no idea where switch is, and have too many cars, and anyway bewildered by technology). EDIT: Fault found, see page 3 below and/or SD1 thread, if you can be bothered, but its pretty dull. I saw my train arriving, and had to run for it with my heavyish bag. A calm person would have decided to wait for a later train (this would have put the ultimate eta back by an hour) and try to fix the problem, or at least make sure the lights were set to off, pull the bulbs or whatevs. But who cares what sensible people do? Anyway, I own a jumper box and cables and so on, so will be able to deal with the likely flat battery when I collect the car from the station tomorrow. Well, hope so, anyway. The car that I am travelling to collect is, by my standards, hyper modern, if not actually from some sci-fi future. Whether utopia or dystopia I don't know yet, but I am hoping for at least a moonbase and some tinfoil clad spacebabes. Killer robopolice we have already have. Anyway, because any fule no that modern cars NEVER break down, I have brought no tools (not that I know what to do with tools), no hi viz jacket, and not even any questionable snack products. I may also be tempting fate by not being dressed all in black and not having very groovy and expensive glasses, the car in question being a Saab. That's a thought, I didn't pack sunnies, and some of this caper is supposed to happen in daylight. Oh well, maybe the trains will be late or the car will explode, so it will be dark. Anyway, presumably weather up north always grey and rainy. Updates may occur depending on work progress, wifi, and level of CBA. PS; now on Virgin train, coffee better, wifi works, not stinky. PPS: Here is some shabby chic upholstery from Train 1- EDIT: arse, it is doing that upright on my screen, sideways on here thing, but fuggitt. barefoot, dave21478, Junkman and 15 others 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 If you made it through the first post awake, you will need a lie down anyway, so I shall leave the seat snap sideways. Junkman, Skizzer, andy18s and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spartacus Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Following with great anticipation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigmund Fraud Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Mr.Breadvan, later today : Cavcraft, eddyramrod, Junkman and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Some photos of nothern-ness will follow, including Wigan without pier, a train that is more rusty than some of our cars, and a disquieting brown stain on a purple seat.I am currently on a local train for local people, scheduled to stop at a zillion places with astonishing northern names straight out of some dire Catherine Cookson novel tediously televised with Sarah Lancashire and Maxine Peake. There is a mega tooled-up coppa onboard, who is giving me the evil eye for taking photos of train seats, which is weird and suspicious, obvs.To rebut suggestions that I am saying that only the north is rough as badgers, there was a young woman chundering on the concourse at Banbury. Soft southern middle class chundering, however. Not some epic fifteen pints Parmo kebab curry chips cheesy peas pizza and gravy and then a fight bowk explosion. Skizzer, eddyramrod, privatewire and 13 others 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six-cylinder Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Back in the late nineties I worked for a commercial interior design and build company and my boss took me to visit a repeat client to discuss changes to there offices. We had a pleasant and professional meeting and the MD showed us out and watched us get into my boss’s wife’s black 1995 Saab Turbo convertible roof down. As we drove away he hurled abuse at us about being a right pair of hairdressers! It was very odd as up to then we had very professional dealing with the company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UltraWomble Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 The North is fine & sophisticatedFor instance we have had running water since 1976, indoor privies since 1983 and last year we got magic sparkly electrickery stuff that makes the haunted fish tank come to life. GrumpyCat, bub2006, Vince70 and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Vince70, Junkman, Skizzer and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Stain much more troubling in real life than in photo: richardthestag, pshome, Vince70 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hooli Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 All the best posters have Saabs. pompei 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longblackcoat Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 WP_20170301_11_25_53_Pro.jpg WP_20170301_11_38_33_Pro.jpg WP_20170301_11_59_03_Pro.jpg Fuck me, the train stations in the Midlands look really grim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Seat photo sideways again. Not on purpose, but gives you authentic pisshead's eye view. Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Grey clouds, diagonal rain. Outskirts of Burnley. Lord Sterling and Junkman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hooli Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 The less you can see of Burnley the better. pompei and Lord Sterling 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sigmund Fraud Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Fuck me, the train stations in the Midlands look really awesome. EF(AS)A Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holbeck Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I spaffed for first class, Well worth it! beko1987, Junkman, Supernaut and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Awaiting arrival of njgleeds in some sort of contraption. Northern location is northern: Junkman and Lord Sterling 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Purple seat with brown accents is on Corbnynista (and therfore rubbish) egalitarian train. No Alan Bennett class available. Not that the seats on Cross Country were much better. Anyway, have not yet developed scrapie or goitres despite enforced minglage with gurning deodorant-avoiders on Lancluxe Lines. privatewire, pompei, Junkman and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 See pic below to show what has happened. Mr and Mrs njgleeds v helpful and splendid, and car seems GR97 so far. Also some fine spottages in vicinity of njgleeds' very fine chodchopping and workshop base, but none photographed. Bloke next door is selling what looks to be a mintola 1990/91 classic Rangey in attractive green colour, but wants 7K for it, which may actually be mucho reasonable, but not for the likes of us lot, I suspect. Car Doovlered, insured and taxed, thanks to amazing MODAN INTERWIREZ, and thanks also to njgleeds for phone and wifi lendage, as mine was running low. No handover shot or Woollarding because of hail, but pez shot acquired. Note AS-compliant one headlamp wiper a bit wonky spec. Fuller report later; right now I have to nom a sandwich, slurp coffee, and finish a document to send off using service station wiifi before I can head south. PS: No Northerners were harmed in the making of this thread. EssDeeWon, eddyramrod, Six-cylinder and 23 others 26 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hooli Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Huzzah for northerm scarabs. I guess one had to migrate south to redress the balance, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsNorthernMonkey Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 It was lovely to meet you..hope the Saab behaves and gets you back south safe and in relative comfort. (It's gotta be comfier than the train journeys you endured to reach us in the north lol)Hope to see you at Shitefest binhoker668 and DeeJay 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Thanks, lovely person. I have just emailed my dull document, and narrowly avoided the two hour oohyabastid private parking charge OMGPISTONHEADS97PAGERANTYTHREAD. Now off home. Am putting the top down... pompei 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernMonkey Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Top down?!? It's still bloody snowing here.....bloody southerners....tch! Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernMonkey Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 By the way, forgot to tell you but I took the liberty of giving it a slight fettle on Sunday to make up for all the messing around last week so the oil and filter are both virginal.... Skizzer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I think that's my old motor, bloody nice car that. NorthernMonkey 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernMonkey Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I think that's my old motor, bloody nice car that.''Tis indeed...it never let the FiL down once and he did some fair miles in it. Cavcraft 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Breadvan72 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Paused at Warwick Services. Not far to go. V fine spottagement achieved here. Pic of that later. Car v good. On I go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 padiham? argh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pillock Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I think that's my old motor, bloody nice car that.I was just about to say that. Except for me. This is turning into a bit of a topless slag, is this the fifth Shiter? I thought of this car today, was clearing the kitchen side and found the new ACC screen I bought for it. Still free if needed (but will want fitting) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhatfoolish Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 WP_20170301_11_59_03_Pro.jpg If Autoshite did trains; the Pacer is a miserable underengineered horror from the collapsing behemoth that was BL. Winnar. Junkman, Vince70 and pompei 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now