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Purple reign

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I suppose I should write a thread about this now.

 

A friend sent me a message over Facebook - he heard I was in the market for a decent X308. He was right. I ummed and ahhhed for a good day, but knowing others were interested in the car, I did the thing I swore I would never do again after getting bitten by a truly horrible 800 Fastback I bought blind, and sent the seller the full asking price over the interweb, trusting his word that was car was a good 'un. I wonder if we'd still be friends in a few days time?

 

The red X300 is now a Captain Slow Production (you should use his We Buy Any Car Service - it's quite good). It worked out quite well, as he was able to get my car delivered to his home to we could do a switch over.

 

At this stage the X300's heater had packed up, and I drove through the night in that bitter cold we had a few weeks ago, driving with my finger tips because the steering wheel was too cold. My breath was visible and froze on the inside of the windscreen at one stage. Happy I was not.

 

I did the switch over the next day, only suffering slightly from frostbite.

 

Thankfully the new car wasn't a heap. I nervously prodded at some rust on the inner wheel arches - which thankfully was surface rust - phew and I took the obligatory pez station shot.

 

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Then the most boring collection caper ever, in which I drive an old Jag home at 70mph, stopping only for a cup of tea and to ring my Mum.

 

Here it is. It's rather nice. It's a 4.0 Sovereign. Being the X308 version it has the V8 (pronounced vheeeeee ehhhhyyyyyyaayyyttttee).

 

It's the nicest (and most expensive) car I've ever owned. And possibly the nicest and most expensive thing I've ever owned.

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It needs:

Timing chain tensioners doing

new front discs and pads

some bodywork (sills are showing early signs of deterioration).

 

I'm finally satisfied with the car I own.

 

 

 

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The red X300 is now a Captain Slow Production (you should use his We Buy Any Car Service - it's quite good). It worked out quite well, as he was able to get my car delivered to his home to we could do a switch over.

 

At this stage the X300's heater had packed up, and I drove through the night in that bitter cold we had a few weeks ago, driving with my finger tips because the steering wheel was too cold. My breath was visible and froze on the inside of the windscreen at one stage. Happy I was not.

 

I did the switch over the next day, only suffering slightly from frostbite.

 

 

The heater hadn't packed up - it was the thermostat. Nice and toasty again now! :-)

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I was going to write a relativity long and pithy post about the events that have unfolded over these last two days, but I think this picture will do the job.

2yv8fgx.png

 

Arsecocks. Thermostat housing has cracked, meaning the coolant got dumped and somehow managed to take out the power steering at the same time. Not sure about the steering, but the thermostat should be easy and cheap enough, but I can't arsed right now. Will try and fix it when MORE ARSE is available.

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I've been quiet about this car for a while now, and that's because it has been broken. FYI, I'm a coach driver, and the Jag broke as I was pulling into our yard.

 

Anyway...MORE ARSE finally became available the other day. Jaguar wanted £60 for the same cheap, shitty bit of plastic that broke in the first place. GET IN THE SEA. ECP wanted £50 for the same cheap, shitty bit of plastic that broke in the first place. Jag part people SNG Barret wanted £30 for a decent alloy one. So I bought that. Just as well replace the thermostat too - or "T-Stat" as Americans on Jag forums keep calling it. "Git tha alooominum block out 'n put a Chevy V8 or jus' find a cheap 'Stang and use the mowdor from that bro" etc.

 

So this fucking alloy thermostat festered on lounge floor for about three weeks *yay, procrastination* until I got fed up of stubbing my toes on it and I was feeling to guilty to ignore the big purple bastard outside.

 

I read up online, made sure I had all the tools to do it then discovered I was too ambitious when I started to fix it. AJ-V8s are alloy, and Jaguar bolted the thermostat housing to the engine with steel bolts. Can you guess where I'm going with this? The steel had reacted with the alloy, bonding the bolts to the engine. They'd been in there for 20 years, and there's no way there were coming out with my little spanner and pipe cleaner arms. So I related and called up my local garage that's in limping/pushing distance, who told me to sod off because they don't work on Jags. So I found a specialist who could pick it up for me. 

 

I was quite worried when they turned up in an old IVECO flatbed with an airbrushed semi-naked women on the back of the cab...you know, it screamed "rigger boots and Grenada".

 

I did want to snap a picture of it being taken by a flatbed for the second time in my ownership, but didn't. Sorry.

 

It didn't get stacked into a stripped out Lexus LS in a muddy field, because two hours later I got the call to say it was ready.

 

She's really benefited from the new thermostat, it's now much smoother and feels a little bit quicker and sharper when you give it the beans.

 

I've also discovered four things:

 

I asked the garage to get it up in the air for me so I could see underneath. No chassis rust. This pleases me.

 

The rear diff is leaking quite badly. This doesn't please me.

 

I whipped the wheels off today to take a look at the brakes. The discs and pads are fine, so I think the juddering I've been feeling under moderate to hard braking must be down to brake fluid that's past it's sell by date.

 

The tyres are bad. Really bad. They're a mix of Ovation and Triangle (presumably named after what shape it feels like your wheels are when said tyres are fitted). Somehow they've manged to get worse. They tramline like motherf*@kers in the wet and are far to hard. Cornering in the damp driving at any pace faster than Nun Speed goes something like: lack of feel, lack of feel, lack of feel...UNDERSTEER! tramline, OH SHIT! Annoyingly, there's too much tread on them to justify binning them when there's more pressing things to address, especially when a set of new, decent boots for it costs £500-700 - and this thing needs about 2 grand thrown at it soon.

 

I guess I better pay my picture tax?

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Sunday drive, heywhat. If anyone is interested, the place in the background is called Kirby Hall - a half derelict, half restored mansiony castley thing. 

 

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I cleaned it for the first time Christmas today. Shit tyres and shiny paint ahoy.

 

P.S, sorry if there's spelling mistakes or none of this makes sense. But I'm tired, worried about what I'm getting myself into and my hands smell of Turtle Wax.

 

I'm still bloody keeping it though.

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