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Outwitted by Shite

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Finding the bonnet release on a MK1 Focus when I bought my first one, I just couldn't work it out, went to try and force it open from the front and noticed the badge move when I put my hand on it. 

 

That got me as well.

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That BINI key is a bit spooky. Mrs M tooks her MINI to the BMW agent to see how much a service would cost ("How much money have you got?") and they inserted the key in a card reader on the desk. It told them the mileage, that the front pads would need doing in the next six months and a couple of other things, It also told them that we had a row in the car three weeks before and that there were two Maltesers rolling around under the passenger seat. Very clever, for a key!

 

They also hold all your settings - mph/kmh, what you have the trip computer displaying, radio presets, date/time blah blah. Confused us a bit  towards the start.

 

There's a TVR where there's no door handle, and the button to release the door is on the bottom of the wing mirror.

 If a car has a number plate shroud on the bootlid and no obvious catch like saloons of old, I always pull it instinctively to try and open the boot. Half the time you need a key which is just a PITA when you aren't the driver (release is usually somewhere like driver's footwell).

 

On the Peugeot 407, the boot release button is external.

 

 

BMW-407-2.0-HDI-Clio-Sport-043.JPG

 

It's the middle of the 0 in the 407 badge.

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Isuzu Piazzas have a button to press to be able to remove the ignition key.

I was told a story about that feature a long time ago.Don't know how true it is but lots of cars, especially Japanese like Mazda, Datsun etc. had this "feature" to stop people (especially mechanics) just turning the key off, pulling it out and jumping out of the car. The cars had a habit of running-on slightly, so, to slow the process, the extra button was added. This prevented or reduced the instances of people leaving the car quickly only to find it was running-on and still in gear. Could be urban legend bullshit of course.

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Isuzu Piazzas have a button to press to be able to remove the ignition key.

 

 

I'd forgotten about the HC Viva's hidden button to release the ignition key. That foxed just about everybody who drove one for the first time.

 

Suzuki Swifts have a similar thing that I haven't seen on other cars. The ignition barrel has a spring loaded mechanism where you have to push the key against the spring tension while turning it in order to remove it. I've baffled quite a few people with it. The owner's manual does mention it, but only briefly and gives no hint as to why it is like this.

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VAG seem to like daft ones - out 9N Polo had one where you push it in and it pops out, 

 

Vauxhall had that feature in the 1950's. My dad's 1952 Velox also had a button below the rear seat to open the boot and a side opening bonnet, from either side or undo both catches and lift it off.

 

Cadillac also had a nifty place to hide the fuel filler in the 1950's. Push in the reflector below the tail light and the light unit flips up to reveal the filler.

Push the button to take out the key was on just about every Jap car in the 70's.

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Finding the bonnet release on a MK1 Focus when I bought my first one, I just couldn't work it out, went to try and force it open from the front and noticed the badge move when I put my hand on it.

...which includes an anti theft device that has turned out to defeat more owners and their mechanics than thieves - the latch linkage, being flimsy-by-design meant that any slight damage to the surrounding grill resulted in a bonnet that wouldn't open, and a guaranteed piece of work for the Ford service department.

 

As you can tell, this sort of thing boils my piss.

 

As do lamp clusters secured with Torx bits or any other 'tamper-proof' shit. 'I'm not tampering with it, I want to repair it, you aunts!'

 

</rant>

Sent from my GT-S5830i using Tapatalk 2

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The sprinter at work has to have the clutch pedal down to start. Also has a tendency to stall at any junction or incline. Also has hill hold which releases brakes unannounced. I keep foit on brake anyway but pulling off can cause it to stall!

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I was told a story about that feature a long time ago.Don't know how true it is but lots of cars, especially Japanese like Mazda, Datsun etc. had this "feature" to stop people (especially mechanics) just turning the key off, pulling it out and jumping out of the car. The cars had a habit of running-on slightly, so, to slow the process, the extra button was added. This prevented or reduced the instances of people leaving the car quickly only to find it was running-on and still in gear. Could be urban legend bullshit of course.

 

I always thought it was a safety feature to prevent you accidentally/mistakenly removing the keys (and thereby engaging the steering lock) whilst moving - but this is equally likely to be bobbins (possibly more) 

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Suzuki Swifts have a similar thing that I haven't seen on other cars. The ignition barrel has a spring loaded mechanism where you have to push the key against the spring tension while turning it in order to remove it. I've baffled quite a few people with it. The owner's manual does mention it, but only briefly and gives no hint as to why it is like this.

Honda's have to have their key pushed into the ignition while turning to get from Accessory to key out position.

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...which includes an anti theft device that has turned out to defeat more owners and their mechanics than thieves - the latch linkage, being flimsy-by-design meant that any slight damage to the surrounding grill resulted in a bonnet that wouldn't open, and a guaranteed piece of work for the Ford service department.

 

As you can tell, this sort of thing boils my piss.

 

As do lamp clusters secured with Torx bits or any other 'tamper-proof' shit. 'I'm not tampering with it, I want to repair it, you aunts!'

 

</rant>

Sent from my GT-S5830i using Tapatalk 2

If a torx doesn't have a centre pin, then it's not anti tamper. Torx are loved by the automotive industry (well a lot of manufacturing) as you can drive them a lot harder, quicker and resist caming out (slipping on the head) than Pozi, Hex and Philips screw heads.

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Don't saabs have to be in reverse to start?

 

One of my old series land rovers confused the mot man. The dip switch is in the floor and is operated with your left foot.

I'm sure we had a '64 mini which had a floor dip switch too. That's 1964, not 64 plate btw.

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Don't saabs have to be in reverse to start?

 

 

No, only reverse (manual) or park (auto) to remove the key. At least on my 9-5 anyway. The last 9-3 got rid of this feature. There were a few court cases in America where people left keys in the ignition with kids in the car, to be run over by their car when the kids play with the key.

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Guest Hooli

My dad had a Jeep (about 54 plate) & that had the button to get the key out thing, along with clutch down to start it. Bloody daft ideas, if you need that much help then you shouldn't be driving anyway.

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98 Lantra.Thought the starter was gubbed. You have to press down the clutch.

 

 

I first encountered a clutch interlock on an International 414 tractor in the 60's, so like me it's been around a while. Another make had its starter actuated by the gear lever and by the 70's some kind of mechanism to prevent starting in gear became compulsory an agric machines. Not needed on cars though, along with lights that are on all the time.

I think the hard-to-remove ignition key business originated in the States because a twat in the passenger seat pulled it out whilst the car was being driven causing the steering to lock. Vauxhalls gained a button under the steering column which had to be pressed to remove the key. My next door neighbour was not smitten as he only had one arm and stuck with his Mk 1 Escort automatic.

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My kia has to have key pushed in and turned before key can be removed too. Also lights stay on with key removed untill drivers door opened when they turn off. It still bongs and beeps like mad though. One for seatbelt warning,light warning,key in ignition warning too.

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Don't saabs have to be in reverse to start?

 

One of my old series land rovers confused the mot man. The dip switch is in the floor and is operated with your left foot.

I'm sure we had a '64 mini which had a floor dip switch too. That's 1964, not 64 plate btw.

My old Rolls Silver Spirit had the floor dip switch as well (1984). In an automatic it is a good idea as that foot is sitting there doing nothing so you may as well use it to dip the lights. I remember my first Land Rover, it was a series 1 and playing hunt the fuel tank when I first had to fill it up. You have to take the drivers seat base out to get to the filler. My little Peugeot 204 diesel is also rather tricky to start as you have to follow the correct procedure of turning the key and various other knobs before it will start. It took me a good hour to figure out how to start it when it first arrived.

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On my current Merc, I couldn't work out how to check the oil level, when I first got it. I scrolled through all the different menus on the screen. I even looked under the bonnet to see if it had a dipstick like the same 3.0 V6 engine did in my Chrysler 300, but no just a transmission one at the back of the engine.

So I asked on the MB Forum or Club or whatever, which caused great hilarity. What I thought was the tranny fluid tube is the engine dipstick!

In my defence, an older W211 ( albeit a 2.1) I had a few years ago had no dipstick at all, just a warning light for low oil level and the 300C had one at the front of the engine,with an ATF one where the Mercs dipstick is- confused? I stil am.

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My first Maxi didn't have a push button to remove the ignition key, however the second one (a year newer) did, the first time I tried to remove the ignition key resulted is some very un-organist type language, it was only by poking around with a torch I finally spotted it.

 

When I was much younger I purchased a mark 1 Astra. It was only the fourth car I had driven. I test drove it to the end of the sellers cul-de-sac. At the top I needed to do a three point turn. No matter how much I pushed and pulled on the gear lever I could not get reverse. I walked back down to the sellers house and told him I thought the gearbox had broken. After he stopped laughing he walked back up to the car with me and pointed out the lift up collar to select reverse! I felt very embarrassed.

 

 The thing that makes me nervous about any car I drive for the first time, is if I have to put in fuel. So many times I have stood on petrol forecourts spinning a fuel cap round and twisting the key back and forward trying to get the damn thing off.

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Transit windscreen washer fuse. It blows every time you try to use the washers between September and June, and the handbook doesn't tell you how to get to it.

 

You have to unclip the glove box and tip everything out, then release the fuse box using two secret clips to gain access to a secret fuse box. Not that you will be able to use the washers until summer anyway.

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Finding the bonnet release on a MK1 Focus when I bought my first one, I just couldn't work it out, went to try and force it open from the front and noticed the badge move when I put my hand on it. 

Transit Connect is the same.

At a customers house and asked her for a jug of water to top up the washer bottle. 

She was laughing like a horse all the time I struggled to find the hidden lever.

Both her grown up sons came out to help find the hidden lever 

Then I had to ask her to Google how to get the bonnet open which caused more amusement (I'd joined in the laughing by then).

Every time I see a Connect I still tell anybody I'm with how to open the bonnet. 

(After at least 500 times they should know by now)

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Anyone mention the XM parking brake yet?

 

This outwitted my housemate. I let her borrow mine to nip to Tesco, she's driven autos before so I said "The foot operated parking brake is a bit odd - don't worry about it as we're in the Fens."

 

So she got to Tesco, out of gear, pressed the pedal down, saw the parking brake light come on, turned it off and got out.

 

I thought she'd leave it in P.

 

Oops. No. Left in N. When she came out it was 4 rows further forward straddling 3 parent and child bays. Miraculously it hadn't hit anything en route there...

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No, only reverse (manual) or park (auto) to remove the key. At least on my 9-5 anyway. The last 9-3 got rid of this feature. There were a few court cases in America where people left keys in the ignition with kids in the car, to be run over by their car when the kids play with the key.

But if they weren't taking the key out... they could have left it in neutral!

 

Typical compensation culture. "I did something stupid and I blame your product for my stupidity"

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