A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, The Burd and I went to see the Skizzer to start getting a MK1 Golf Convertible that had been off the road for 10years..
After a couple of sessions in deepest darkest Wales , coupled with some sterling help and fettling by Skizzer himself, it was time for us to head down and bring the thing back up.
This went well:
New tyres were procured and fitted
The in-game tank pump was pulled out and a new filter fitted
Then I got in touch with my Inuit side, using brand new* magnets to undertake "tank shite" fishing
A full check over and a couple of test drives showed it fit to play.
We set off for sunny Oswestry, only to have both front calipers sticking after 120 miles. Some water and time to collect down saw them free off and cause no further problems.
Upon getting just past Tebay, it started running rough - nicking into Todhills rest area and luzzing in 10L of fuel had it running bang on for the next 70miles before it died.
This was the final scene on the way home.
I got to bed at 00:45, and left it to sit until today.
I'm a masochist from Leeds who is running two rusty, worn out Triumph Dolomites as my only transport in rural Aberdeenshire. You might recognise me from various other forums and Facebook groups. Realistically I need to buy a modern car of some sort, but instead I find myself looking at Ã‚Â£300 Citroen BXs and Triumph Acclaims on Gumtree and thinking "yeah, that'd fit right in with the rest of the broken cars I can't afford".
On to the cars, the main attraction being my 1976 1850HL "50 Shades of Yellow" that I bought for Ã‚Â£850 and is currently my daily driver, here is a picture of it before I sanded off some surface rust and sprayed it badly in the wrong shade of yellow with rattle cans:
Within a month of purchase I managed to plant it in to a steel fence backwards after a botched gear change on a wet roundabout and ruined the N/S rear wing, although judging by the other dent that's packed with filler it looks like somebody had already done the same. I also managed to destroy a halfshaft and one of my Sprint alloys (good for an extra 15hp) in the incident, so now it's sitting on it's original steelies but painted black (good for an extra 5hp).
It's only broken down on me twice. once with some sort of fuel delivery related problem which may or may not have been an empty fuel tank and once when the thermostat jammed shut and it overheated and blew out some O-rings for the cooling system. It has recently developed a taste for coolant and oil which is rather annoying, although it's done 89,300 miles which is about 80,000 more miles than BL engineering is designed to last, I'm keeping my eye on eBay for replacement engines...
I tried to keep ahead of the rust a bit by rubbing down the arches and re-painting them, but apparently rattle can paint isn't great when you are spraying it at -5C, it also highlighted how although my car might have been Inca Yellow in 1976 it's now more of a "cat piss" sort of shade. So I ended up with the wrong shade of yellow which has rust coming back through after 5 weeks. Did I mention I'm incompetent?
The other car is the first "classic" car I bought, so I can't bear to sell it. It's a '77 Dolomite 1300 and it cost Ã‚Â£1400 (about Ã‚Â£400 too much) and has been nothing but a pain in the arse:
It looks much prettier (from 100 yards) but that's most due to the darker paintwork hiding the rust. It lives a mollycoddled life in my garage, where it somehow still manages to rust, and is utterly rubbish. 0-60 is measured on a calendar, top speed is 80ish but at that point it uses more oil than petrol, it rarely ventures over 50mph and if you encounter an incline of any sort you can kiss that sort of speed goodbye, along with about Ã‚Â£20 of 20W50 as it vanishes out of the exhaust in the form of blue smoke.
One of the PO's had clearly never heard of the term "oil change" so it developed into brown sludge that coated everything internally with the next owner(s) blissfully pouring fresh oil on top of it. This lasted until about 600 miles into my ownership when there was muffled "pop" from the engine bay and the car became a 3-cylinder. The cause was catastrophic wear to the top end causing a rocker arm to snap:
As this was my first classic car I'd assumed it was supposed to sound like the engine was full of marbles, it wasn't.
I put the engine back together with second hand bits declared it utterly fucked and promptly did another 5000 miles with it. After about 3500 of those miles the oil burning started, valve seals have gone so it's been relegated to my parent's garage as a backup car and something to take to local car shows as the 1850 is now embarrassingly ugly. I'm keeping my eye on eBay for replacement engines (deja vu, anybody?) Oh, I also recently reversed it into a parked Ford Fiesta and royally fucked up the rear bumper, rear panel and bootlid. Did I mention I'm incompetent?
There have been two other cars in my life. My first car, a 2008 Toyota Yaris 1.0 an it's replacement a 2012 Corsa 1.4T. I didn't really want either of them, but it's a long story involving my parents and poor life choices. Ask if you want to hear it!
So that's a brief summary of my current shite. If you want more pictures or details of anything do say as I've got photos of almost everything I'd done with the cars.
Yes, one of those. You've seen the car before, and I've already used up my best jokes (so I'll repeat them).
An epic journey, including:
- THREE COUNTIES
- THAT LONDON
- SHANKS' PONY
- And possibly a pastry-encased but disappointing meal
I think the Broadsword fleet has become sufficiently complicated to merit a combined thread so that gradually all new additions will appear in one place.
As of Sunday 17th March the situation is interesting.
Two Citoren Xantias (remember the white Xantia of Excellence is for sale people!)
A turquoise XJR6 pending overdue-collection (need that gone now!)
An XJS 3.6 manual project which will get in high gear soonish. Wont be a keeper but will be fun getting it back to something presentable. Drivers fantastic!
A Range Rover P38, which is turning out to be really rather good.
And to mix things up even more I'm off on a collection caper today. Had first refusal on it and was expecting it to come around in a year, but things soon changed and no way was I going to pass up on it. It may well render the second Xantia redundant as I've got a really good feeling about this motor.
In the meantime here are some snaps of the Range Rover. As usual it was a car I said I would probably never buy due to their reliability*. I have said the same of Jag XJR, XJS, XK8 and I have had all of those now. Basically the moment I declare buying a particular car is impractical or improbable, I end up buying one.
Things to note on the P38. It's a nice colour with tidy body. The EAS has been removed. It runs and drives lovely and it doesn't have enough electrical problems to hinder progress. The main one is the driver's side window not working, but that should be fixable. I've tried changing the outstation, that didn't fix it. Might be wiring under the seat. Other than that I bought it and took it for an MOT the very next day, and it passed. Since then it had what seemed like a battery drain, but since unplugging the RF thingy for the remote locking and putting on a proper lead-acid battery, which the car can actually charge, unlike the modern lead-calcium batteries, it has been perfect. I will treat it to a full service soon.
Stay tuned for the latest collection later today!
Right so! I was looking to lease an EV through the business, but completely failed due to hating new car dealers, hating touchscreens and eventually settling on a hybrid which is out of stock until mid-late 2022.
So I gave up and decided to get a Land rover. I failed at that too, after my mate sent me a link to the advert for this on ebay, at about 9pm. Ten minutes later I had arranged to drive down to see it the next day.
I'm a glutton for punishment, and I really miss my last t25 so it was pretty inevitable that I'd buy it. It was more money than I'm used to spending on these, but overall I was pleased with the deal.
A dawn raid by our very own @worldofceri had it delivered on Friday morning:
It's a Swedish van originally, and was imported in 2006. Incredibly solid, never been painted and a fantastic "worn in" look. It's a 2.1 "DJ" engine which is pretty healthy but as usual is weeping coolant from various places, they all do that sir. A friend has a rebuilt engine on his shelf so I budgeted that into the purchase - We'll see how it goes.
Totally original other than someone put some mega Fox/Gowesty suspension on it, proper mega bypass shocks with external reservoirs and stuff, so I reckon I can probably take it off jumps or something. I won't.
My plans are to (after cleaning the filthy interior) to just run it about, more or less as it is. It would benefit from a set of tyres - these are worn very ridged on the fronts that makes it even more noisy and harsh to drive, and has no spare wheel.
I've rotated the tyres so now the front ones are smoother, we'll see how I get on. I do need to source another matching wheel for a spare as these are full time 4wd so you need to keep the tyres rotated regular and within a very similar tread depth. look - there's even a sticker telling you to:
I really need to get some new number plates for it! If anyone knows a place who could make some OE style ones with that font all the VW dealers seemed to use in the 1980s, that would be grand - I want some with the dealers logo putting on the bottom: