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Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder: bASeman's Spot of the Year award.


BorniteIdentity

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R8s are a bugger for just this problem, If you can get a jack - or a block of wood on a jack - under the bumper bracket and jack it up as high as possible before tightening the bolts on the droopy side that will probably sort it.  There's probably nothing actually wrong, it's just one of those jobs that's a bit annoying.  You can also use a ratchet strap, with the hook end around the bottom of the bumper, you just have to be really careful since a bit too much tension will tweak the plastic out of shape.

Suffice to say, it's great to see it with a proper bumper on.

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Final job on the battery tray - some Bilt-Hamber S50 Anti-Corrosion Wax is applied.  Made in Essex too!  I love a nice British Product, and this stuff looks fantastic.

Actually, it looks shit - but it's better than rust.

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I stuck a bit more on after this, reattached the battery, didn't even get the terminals the wrong way around and we're good to go!  Next job is to (eventually) straighten the rear bumper a bit and get to the bottom of the coolant leak.  It's definitely a hose, I just can't remember which one (and it's doing a good job of hiding it!)

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1 hour ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Final job on the battery tray - some Bilt-Hamber S50 Anti-Corrosion Wax is applied.  Made in Essex too!  I love a nice British Product, and this stuff looks fantastic.

Actually, it looks shit - but it's better than rust.

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The stuff stinks, is sticky and is very runny on a hot day, but it works brilliantly.

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  • 3 weeks later...

To quickly bring the thread up to date then - let's have a SITREP.

Corolla sold to a fellow Suffolk Bumpkin and his absurdly handsome wife.  Simple transaction with no faff and fuss, revitalising my faith in AS transactions.  

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No key hand over shot because COVIDCOMPLIANCE.

 

Avensis - still trundling.  260,900 miles.  The drivers side rear window has come off the runners so I've got it up (fnar) into an erect position (fnar fnar) and disconnected the switch. Hopefully it stays put.  The only other irritation is FM interference when the car is on; I'm not sure if there's a supressor somewhere that's blown but I will be investigating in my usual relaxed fashion.

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Sierra - hasn't turned a wheel since the rear bumper went on.  My appetite for old cars has dwindled somewhat during lockdown.  Shows and meets have always been a good motivating factor for getting stuff done and getting out.  My son's cricket has also taken over weekends, so not a lot of time for fun.

Mini - as above.  I'm stashing money aside as fast as I can for the works underneath which will involve inner and outer sills both sides, rear subframe and a panel or two.

Granvia - had a fight with the moon roof which got stuck.  Dr Google suggested it was the control unit, but actually it had just got stuck.  Once I prized the fucker open I lubed it with what my neighbour suggested - Plumbers grease.  It's as slippery as a wet kipper, and the roof has never moved as well.  FICKST.  It needs droplinks again as a Land Cruiser engine isn't light and it sits RIGHT above the front wheels.  

And you're up to date.

OR ARE YOU?

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17 minutes ago, phil_lihp said:

Where do you get your Granvia bits from?  I have awful trouble finding parts for my 4x4, I can get parts references easily enough but finding someone who actually sells them or supplies the correct part has been difficult, particularly bushes and mounts.

It was BBC spares in Hemel Hempstead.  I use JAPEX garage in Hemel Hempstead (because the two brothers were both Toyo master mechanics) and Mark at BBC got the arse with one of them when they went up to collect an exhaust last year.  "WHY IS HE USING YOU AND NOT ME".  Wanker.  Rumour is he's packed up now, and Google backs this up.  The last time I had a set of drop links I think they just came from a local motor factor, but unsure.  Japex said you can get stuff from Japan quite easily, but there's obviously a lead time and a COVID delay too.  (I was after a proper set of battery leads as mine are too big for UK size terminals.  In the end they had to heat them up and squash them in a vice!

I worry about the future viability of my Granvia.  Already the drivers seat is broken so I've had to manually wind it back to the furthest position and detach the switch, and I've accepted that some bits will now be completely unobtainable.  The dream was to convert it to a camper once the children have grown up - but I'm not sure how practical that will actually be.  I don't have the appetite to buy one to pull apart, but of course that is always an option.

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That's exactly what I've done with mine, its a 2 seater camper now.  It's funny as I have said the same thing, parts availability will kill it soon I think.  The gearbox mount is knackered and after trying 4 or 5 times to get the right one I've given up.  My mechanic has problems getting anything other than service bits for it and last MOT ended up making a suspension dust cover out of a generic CV boot after 3 failed attempts to get the right part.

Yes Mark closed up shortly after I bought mine and threw all the remaining stuff in a skip apparently after losing his premises.  There's a chap who often says he has loads of parts on the Facebook group but no one seems to have had a positive experience dealing with him so probably best avoided.

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On 8/2/2020 at 9:24 AM, BorniteIdentity said:

And you're up to date.

OR ARE YOU?

Spoiler.  You're not.  

Yesterday was collection day.  You can always tell right from the off that things aren't going to go your way.  If you've ever played Cricket or Snooker or whatever you'll know what I mean.  The same shots you won with last week just don't come off, and the harder you try the worse thing seemingly become.  It all started with the insurance debacle.  AA, for reasons only known to them, don't have call centers open on a Sunday.  Despite my protestations that it was COVIDSMOKESCREEN, apparently that's always been the case.  And you're not allowed to change a vehicle online.  How 1992.  So I've ended up being whacked a cancellation charge even though I didn't WANT to cancel, but needed cover yesterday.  I can evidence that I made several attempts on Saturday (when my calls got dropped) so it's one for the FOS.  I'm certain that i'll win, based on the fact it took them 20 seconds to cancel the policy.  £30 therefore isn't appropriate.

I digress.  My Brother in Law took me up to Countesthorpe, Leics yesterday - owing to the fact that my usual Shiter chum hates french cars.  My BiL is also Leicester born and inbred which I thought might prove useful.  We arrived to be met by the owner's son who very quickly realised he'd agreed to sell his mother's pride and joy to a pair of clowns who couldn't organise a cock up in a brothel. 

First problem? No battery.  The car hasn't turned a wheel since the start of March, and the battery was flat.  The old lady said she only did short journeys anyway (634 miles between MOTs) so I wasn't surprised. 

First we tried my jump pack.  Much relay clicking but no spin.  So we tried jump leads.  A lazy churn but no dice.  Then we realised that the jump lead wasn't getting a great connection, so I unscrewed more of the positive terminal fixing.  Fuck.  Spun it off somewhere into the engine bay.  Brother in law spends 10 minutes looking...

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He finds it, and proceeds to try and move it with a screwdriver that's slightly too short.  Ping.  Off it fucks somewhere else.  No matter what we do, it can't be found.  This left us with a slight problem in as much as this fixing both attaches wires to the positive terminal and insulates the whole affair from causing fireworks on the bonnet.  Bollocks.  

We push it out into the road (well they do - all 19 stone of me is behind the wheel grinning like a Cheshire cat) and attempt a bump start.  We must have been doing 20mph before I let the clutch pedal fly up.  Still nothing.  Fucks sake.  Time for the beast.

I'd bought along my Clarke battery charger with boost function and we tried to get the bastard started off of mains supply.  It really didn't like that.  God only knows what was happening but it sounded like the starter wouldn't spin.  We were in polite company, so I stepped outside to drop a few select, choice words before rejoining the fold.

We go back to trying to jump it.  BiL is revving the tits off his Vauxhall estate car whilst I try and revive the sleeping.  Just a few more lazy churns.  At this stage, I couldn't really read the vendor's face.  He was offering us tea and biscuits, but had evidently had enough as he signalled "FIVE MINUTES".  I said we'd push it down the road and call the AA if we couldn't get it running swiftly.

We then try a jump pack AND a running car and still it's reluctant.  "My jump leads aren't very good" says BiL.  Fucks sake.  I look at them and they're Best Before Thatcher.  Breaks in the wires and everything.  The vendor produces two of those slightly cheap plasticy ones and we try them.  BANG.  First time.  All in all it took over an hour to do what we could have done in 30 seconds had I bought my own leads.  Lesson learned.

Attention then turned to the positive battery terminal.  There were just two wires sat over the post (which has this sort of threaded bolt coming out of the top - never seen that before).  We tried to secure them down with a nut which was the wrong size.  As soon as we did this it stalled again.  Grrr.  Quickly out with the Argos leads and we were running again.  20 minutes of searching the garage, and in the end we found an imperial threaded nut on an old sack barrow.  It JUST about fitted - allowing security of tenancy for the errant wires.

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Fixed.

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The elderly owner, bless her heart, was desperately trying to knock £60 off so I could buy a new battery.  I'm not one for confrontation so smiled and sent her the full amount anyway via BACS.  I did the V5 electronically, sorted out the tax (I remembered as I drove past a Police Dog Van!) and got home.

Almost.

TBC.

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What have I bought then?  Well - what I've been waiting for.  A Mk1, Ph2 Renault Clio - with grey bumpers.  

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And three wheel trims.  Are they even genuine?  I'd like a matching set all round nonetheless.

Yes, there was a bit of a scrum for this when @quicksilverposted it up last week.  I'm not absolutely certain how I came to be the person chosen to have it.  Quicksilver gave the owner's contact details to a couple of us and - for whatever reason - it was me who ended up with it.  Obviously  you can't force someone to sell you something, and he made the decision of his own free will, but I felt very lucky.  It might just be that my email got to him before other peoples, he might have liked the cut of my jib, who bloody knows.  Anyway, genuine apologies.  

It is an absolute peach.  59,000 miles - owned since 1997 - and the most serious MOT fail ever seems to be

"Steering system has excessive free play detected at the steering wheel (steering rack fitted) (2.2.a.1b)"

Only previous owner was Europcar. 

I'm chuffed to bits with it.  The offside rear arch is a tiny bit rusty, and there's a small dent and scrape on the offside front wing which is easily pushed out.  Otherwise, it is A2.  Inside, as you'd expect, is immaculate.  It has THE steering wheel, and a stunning fabric on the seats.  It's pre-watershed now, so you'll have to wait for interior pics.

Have you ever driven one of these?  I love them.  They're squidgy.  At 6'1 I sit legs akimbo with a shit eating grin.  The engines are zingy, and it really zips along.  These MK1 clios also have one of the most satisfying gear knobs of all time too; tremendously rewarding.

It was a rather uneventful drive home apart from the occasional flicker of a battery light and the fact it would hold back and turn the radio off if I flashed someone out.  Probably current related - NFAR.  

I managed 54 miles of the 60 mile drive home before I realised it was 21:10 and I hadn't eaten.  Pulled into McDonalds and ordered something obscure so they'd have to cook it fresh, and got put in the waiting bays.  Once the grub was delivered I reversed out (wanting to eat at home) and promptly stalled.  All colour drained from my fat little face, previously decorated with the smile of someone who's about to eat.  Click.  Nothing.  I'd driven 54 miles at high speed - and the battery still laughed at me.

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Obviously I'd used up the charge in the pack trying to start it 2 hours earlier, so I had to call the wife - who was rather unimpressed as that meant getting in the car and heading out when she'd literally just got into bed.  I have to say though, the service was far better than The AA.  She turned up within 15 minutes with a smile and no bra on.  That's what I CALL the fourth emergency service.  My leads had it started in 5 seconds and we headed home.  

Things to do:

  1. Try and charge the battery.  It's not very old, but it might just be FUBARd.  
  2. Get proper battery clamps.  These spinny things are weird.  I don't like - and it's not currently very safe.
  3. Work out what the fuck is dangling underneath the car.  It looks like a bulb holder on a wire, but is halfway down?  DUNNO.
  4. Address wheeltrim situation.  Anyone with a nice set of 13" Clio trims please speak up.
  5. Drive to all appointments in Cambridge with high levels of Va Va Voom.

 

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Fantastic to see this with an enthusiastic new owner. It feels weird to have brokered the sale of a car I've never actually seen (the photos in the advert were all I had) and hopefully one day I'll get to admire it in the flesh. I'm pretty sure those trims are original, shame there's one missing but I'm sure you'll manage to replace it.

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5 minutes ago, quicksilver said:

Fantastic to see this with an enthusiastic new owner. It feels weird to have brokered the sale of a car I've never actually seen (the photos in the advert were all I had) and hopefully one day I'll get to admire it in the flesh. I'm pretty sure those trims are original, shame there's one missing but I'm sure you'll manage to replace it.

It's absolutely beautiful and will shine up fantastically.  As you know I've been after one for quite some time, and have come close three times in the last 12 months.  The perfect one is a BeBop in purple as that's what the wife had as her first car, but this is a close run second.

It's a great spec - grey bumpers (much more honest looking) ph2 front end (the best) the base steering wheel with keep fit windows (which I prefer) but central locking which just makes life a bit easier.  The interior is breathtakingly good, and I can't wait to give it a clean up further.  

Please pass on my thanks to Tim.  I'm absolutely certain he couldn't make me out - but reassure him it was lovely to meet him and his Mum and that the car will be revitalised and looked after.

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Here's a little reminder of why I'm so fond of these little cars.

For me, it's all about Associated Memories.  Let's be honest, none of us are really buying cars for the 'rewarding drive' - nor are we 'heel toeing' our way to powerfully built directorship jobs or heading off to a boozy lunch with our friends from the golf club.

2006 we had a miscarriage.  It happens.  More than you could ever possibly imagine unless you work in that field of expertise.  It's funny how you can be so completely devastated by circumstances that have changed so fast.  One minute, you're a 24 year old father of one - next you're coming to terms with the fact 3 will become 4 - and then you're watching the person you love the most fall apart in front of you whilst you try your level best not to do the same.  Dang, it was tough.  

You'll be pleased to know that we cheered ourselves up by buying a Renault Clio Versailles from a petrol station forecourt on the way home(!)

28354352954_09ce05b0e3_b.jpgRenault Clio Rl 1.2 Versailles by Bornite Identity, on Flickr

It stunk of Dog when we drove it away (for about £600 from memory) and I took it straight to the Kosovan wash on the A428, where it promptly let water in from the sunroof.  Great.  But we loved that car.  Fondest memory was moving what must have been 25 rolls of turf in it with the back wheel grinding out over even the merest suggestion of shingle on the road.  I used it as a station car and - even at 11 years old - I'm sure it was cool.  Jeez, I've never been cool. 

We sold it after a year or so, and to this day I can't remember why.  Maybe it's written down in the opening posts of this thread.  Sadly, it looks like it got used as Scrappage Scheme fodder as it fell off the radar at that exact time.

So, with that personal connection - and Catherine AND my brother having ones before - we love Clios.  I hope you do too.

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2 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

For me, it's all about Associated Memories.  Let's be honest, none of us are really buying cars for the 'rewarding drive'

Not true! I bought my Clio because 1) I had a Clio II when I passed my test and good memories, 2) They provide a very rewarding drive.

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I bought my missus an MX5 as a surprise. I was the one that was surprised when she looked at it, she said "I'm not going to drive that" and walked off.

Hence the £100 Clio. Been stood for a year, but only needed a battery to get it started, and a tyre for the MOT. Looked lovely cleaned up, showed all its little curves very nicely. I managed to find a set of alloys and a less basic interior for it very very cheap. 

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I really liked it, very chuckable thing. Mrs broke the gearbox (heavy handed on gear changes) and broke the earbox on the subsequent £150 Clio I managed to find for her. Divorce was the only option to stop the depletion of Clio's.

Might try and find one for myself soon.

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I may also retort that a RenaultSport Clio 172/182 isn’t classic Autoshite - but to each their own  
An 18 year old 205 was Autoshite material back when this incarnation of the forum was started around 2005! 15 years later, those are worth a fair bit more now.

But yes the Clio has a following and I guess is a loved car. Well the fast ones that is. Others are quickly dwindling fodder that are soon like your recently acquired Clio MK1.
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59 minutes ago, SiC said:

An 18 year old 205 was Autoshite material back when this incarnation of the forum was started around 2005! 15 years later, those are worth a fair bit more now.

But yes the Clio has a following and I guess is a loved car. Well the fast ones that is. Others are quickly dwindling fodder that are soon like your recently acquired Clio MK1.

That’s why I said Classic Autoshite. ? 

Genuinely tho - I think the one you’ve just picked up looks great. And as long as we’re all talking cars I’m happy!

I don’t think there’s been a Clio I didn’t like. Even the MK2 facelift that looked like it was trying a bit hard. Even the Campus (Campi?) that outstayed its welcome! 

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