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Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder: bASeman's Spot of the Year award.


BorniteIdentity

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I don't know if anyone else is even remotely interested in the musings of a man fascinated with the past, but seeing as the thread title includes "memoirs" I'll indulge myself if (if no-one else!)

 

The sensible route from mine to Alf's was the B645.  This was originally a stretch of the A45 that never became the A14, and driving it once will reveal why.  On a summer's evening, it's absolute unbridled magic.  On a wet Tuesday commute, with its tight 90 degree turns at Kimbolton Castle, it would have been an absolute shit.  

 

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On the western fringe of Kimbolton you will find Robinson's garage.  We pulled up here quickly to check the rig; in the full knowledge that a good number of Minis had limped onto this forecourt over the years.

 

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What is now a Budgens (with small workshop) was a rather unusually placed ARG dealership, photographed (from the sky) here.

 

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Nowadays, you can only fuel yourself and not your car.

 

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But one, single reminder exists in the garage window.

 

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I remember the A45 through Kimbolton well. Every time I drive past a Kimbolton sign I think 'must go back and drive that road again'. So far I never have.....

It is a great driving road. Good straights, long sweeping bends, steep descents, picturesque villages like Chelveston and Kimbolton, and some nice photo opps too.

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Many times have I enjoyed the drive through Kimbolton when travelling from St Neots through to Higham Ferrers to get to/from Billing over the last 25+ years, and that garage is something that's caught my eye. I stopped for a photo one day, nicely timed before it stopped selling fuel and became a shop:

 

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Robinson Garage, Kimbolton former Rover, BL etc by Spottedlaurel, on Flickr

 

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Probably my favourite road by Spottedlaurel, on Flickr

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I'm just going to assume that the Mini has been fitted with plenty of anti-theft gear. Thieves don't care for personal tales.

 

Not saying Alf lives anywhere dodgy, but I just see so many tales of woe regarding stolen Minis (and Land Rovers).

When at home, it’s always blocked in by two vehicles. The plan is to get a hidden kill switch fitted too, and fit a steering lock whenever I’m not there.

 

For the moment, I have to settle with Alf taking the steering wheel to bed at night.

 

It’s a worry, of course. But they weigh 650kg. If someone really wanted it, they could probably get a few mates together and just carry it away. Ultimately, you just have to be as careful as you can and try to enjoy it at the same time.

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I don't leave mine alone without a Disklok on the steering wheel. Even if I just stop for 10mins. Sure, some thieves could just pick it up and chuck it into the back of their Transit tipper, but, ya know- makes you feel better!

 

Looking forward to seeing this one ripping up the roads in the summer!

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I'm just going to assume that the Mini has been fitted with plenty of anti-theft gear. Thieves don't care for personal tales.

 

Not saying Alf lives anywhere dodgy, but I just see so many tales of woe regarding stolen Minis (and Land Rovers).

Well......no immobiliser.........nice sharp bend at the end of the road though and it has zero brakes so should end up embedded in the fence. The resultant noise should wake my dog.

 

Sort of sorted

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Well......no immobiliser.........nice sharp bend at the end of the road though and it has zero brakes so should end up embedded in the fence. The resultant noise should wake my dog.

 

Sort of sorted

Nailed it.

 

Perhaps I should go to bed with the brake master cylinder henceforth?

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Job jobbed on the Avensis. Not watching the numbers too closely - let’s say £400 for arguments sake to tease it through for another year. All cars need tyres so scrub them off and it wasn’t too bad. And, anyway, it’d be entirely irresponsible to throw a car away over a bloody brake pipe - especially when the replacement part has an indefinite life span. 

 

So onwards and upwards. 248,500 miles (not out)

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So, in the past 6 years the Avensis has done almost 150k. Not bad going, but when you consider it was already 100k up that is a damn good show.

 

Yep. I bought it July 2013 with 100,200 miles on it. The previous owners were convinced that was the expected life of the car and chopped it in for a new Kia. A trader went to buy a car from Kia, which was shit, but needed something to get home in so gave (probably) £250 for this. I bought it for £800 with a full fresh ticket, tax (remember that) and a full tank. It was probably £150 more than others but the Tuscan Plum ones look lush and I always wanted to try an SR. All I’ve done since is drive it and look after it. It’s had a couple of timing belt kits, a clutch and a radiator. That’s it. It’s always been about £400 a year to keep it going which is cheap really.

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There's a huge push now to get this bloody Mini finished and off Alf's driveway.  The initial dream was to have it taxed and tested for the Bonk Holiday weekend coming, but that's now highly unlikely to happen because of other commitments and niggles along the way.  It also didn't help that I left the replacement brake pipe at mine when we towed the car last week.  Ah.

 

I arrived last night to find attentions had been turned to the wipers.  To recap: they don't work.  A few weeks ago there was the most incredibly putrid smell ever encountered.  It smelled like a mix of cat piss, human vomit and dog shit.  It was so strong you could smell it at 15 paces.  I put it down to the car being laid up for so long and 'burning something off' (my excuse for everything).  It was only after I accidentally put my hand on the wiper motor did we realise the culprit.  It was totally stucking stucked mate.  Big stucking time.

 

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This may* explain why.  

 

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Quick blast sent an oxide mist across the garage.

 

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Lubey AF.

 

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Stick it back on.  Boom.

 

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Let's just say that the motor isn't in the first flush of youth, but will get us an MOT.  It's not going to be a car for rainy days (as anyone who's ever driven one will attest) so it's just about satisfying the ministry right now.

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What about the lights?  I can't remember if I wrote this all out previously - but I did make a start a few weeks ago.  Anyway, the two relays (hazards and indicators) were "Best Before Thatcher" and had consciously uncoupled from the wiring of the car.  Two new ones purchased from MiniSpares (along with bases) and I set about wiring them up.  To start with I got the Hazards working with relative ease (except the offside front which I put down to a bulb) so moved onto the indicators.  Let's just say this didn't pan out as I would have liked, and I ended that day with just one single side light working on the entire car.

 

Anyway, wipers working enough - we took a look.  By we, I mean Alf - with me hovering.

 

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One tooth from the fuse box completely rusted away.  Strong start.  We cleaned this up with a fluid which, I believe, is likely banned in the EU.  If it isn't, it should be.  It could strip the smile from a lottery winner!  Fortunately there was a spare position on the box which we used instead.

 

You'll never ever work out why the brake light wasn't working.  The PO had robbed the fucking bulb.  Unbelievable, Jeff.

 

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The front indicator that won't work was, indeed, a bulb.  A bulb that had made that little holder its home.  A bulb seemingly with a lifetime, pre-AST tenancy.  A bulb with the right to remain.  A bulb what wasn't going to shift.  In the end, it was a hammer and pliers - so it died a martyr just as it would have wanted.  Fucking thing.

 

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Plenty of corrosion here.  Also, the spring no longer springs.  We fucked about a bit but decided, at £6, it was better to buy a replacement which I will do later.

 

The final job was to try and get a 'tell tale' for the indicators.  The hazard switch itself illuminates when operated, so we were just looking for something to indicate...err.. indication.  This is where the fun began.  I will document this clearly here, so that future generations don't have to resort to the kind of language we used for five minutes.

 

DESPITE WHAT OTHERS ON THE INTERNET WILL TELL YOU - IF YOU HAVE A LOW SPECIFICATION MINI WITHOUT OIL PRESSURE GAUGES ETC, THIS IS WHAT IS WHAT.

 

12 o'clock on the dial - Green Light. - Indicator Tell tale.

 

3 o'clock on the dial - Amber light - Not actually an amber light.  It's a fucking lie.  BLANK.

 

5 o'clock on the dial - Red Light - IGN.  (Pronounced IGNUN).  Ignition.

 

7 o'clock on the dial - Blue Light - HB.  (Pronounced HURRBURR).  High beam lights (two candles)

 

9 o'clock on the dial - Amber Light - OIL. (Pronounced OIL).  Oil pressure.

 

On some fancy ones, and in different markets, the amber lights either side are for indication and the green one indicates when it's meal time or something.  My car is a CITY E - and the above is correct.  Trust me. (!!)

 

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We are getting a little closer each day.  Can't wait to finally drive it home.  (Nor can Alf's wife)

 

OH. And the reason I couldn't get both hazards AND indicators working last month?  One of the relays was a duff.  Can't wait to disucuss that with Minispares (!)

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Great to see there are now 12 volts flowing comfortably in places where they should be.

I don't know what you're fussing about, in all honesty. A Mini is a smoll car, so all fixes should take less time, as it doesn't take as long to walk around it...

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