Project Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder: bASeman's Spot of the Year award.

[binhoker668]

My 340 DL was just amazing.  Sooo solid to drive.  OK, wasnae a hot hatch or owt, but we loved it madly!  Would love a 240.  Surefire punk rock motorway thrash-wagon.

Massively on my itch-list...

[Felly Magic]

How my mate, who is a bus fitter killed a 240 estate I will never, ever know! The engine actually grenaded, it had less than 200k on and was a 2.3 carb, so it was barely run in, mind you he did often sidestep the clutch on it with a fair few revs on

[Ghosty]

Auto?!

Swap you for a 216?

 

Thought not.

[eddyramrod]

Auto?!

Swap you for a 216?

 

Thought not.

I already thought to check out the listing, Max; sadly it has the wrong box.  If one has the wherewithal to drive luxury cars, one does not stir gears oneself!

I had a manual 245 once, but never drove it, I used it as a spares-store.  Some shoved inside, some bolted on at the factory  

[BorniteIdentity]

Collection inked in for Tuesday lunchtime.  It's going straight to the MOT centre where hopefully they can tease it through a ticket almost immediately.  I'll be doing the paperwork for the reg number concurrently, so hopefully it'll be in and out within a fortnight or so.  

 

I've never been less excited about buying a car.  Annoyingly, a rather bloody splendid 190e has come up that I'd buy and keep forever if I wasn't sinking dollar into this temporarily.  That said, it's for the old boy and he'll be mega chuffed with his new reg.

[Ghosty]

Oh, don't know where I got auto from then.

Still interested though.

[alfetta]

Having come from a saab 900 turbo, I looked at a 240 volvo when I needed some wheels. It was just a total barge to drive, same with the 740. Also you got lots of irritating clicking seatbelt warnings....lol Never warmed to them though certainly well made.

[BorniteIdentity]

Lots of positive things to report, and one negative. (I'll do a full write up later)

 

I collected the Volvo yesterday - it's quite smashing.  Drove it straight to the MOT station without deviation, repetition or hesitation and parked up for the night.  They stuck it through a test this morning which it failed on very minor matters (2 bulbs, sticky brakes, windscreen fluid and the battery insecure).  All have been addressed, apart from the issue with the trunk.

 

The vendor and I couldn't seem to get into the boot yesterday.  My inkling is that there's a separate key for the boot, which he's lost and he's playing dumb.  I wasn't going to hang around yesterday as I needed to get home so took the car and asked for him to look for it.

 

Not realising the issue.

 

• There's a rear brake light out. 
• To change the bulb, we need to get into the boot
• To get into the boot, we need the key.
• We don't have the key.
• No key, no boot, no bulb, no MOT

 

And no, the rear seats don't collapse.  FFS.

 

We're at a bit of a loss.  Anybody have any genius ideas or the name of a good auto locksmith in Hertfordshire?

[Guest Breadvan72]

Bummer!  Hope you sort it.  Can a hole be drilled in the boot to allow operation of the lock?  This works for old Jaguars.    I found diagrams online and Jag-people here kindly sent me instructions.  Maybe OVLOV World has similar diagrams and kindys. 

[Felly Magic]

Try these

 

http://www.yourlocksmiths.co.uk/vehicle-locks-keys/?a=welwyn&gclid=CjwKEAjw3KDIBRCz0KvZlJ7k4TgSJABDqOK7ekyk0M8-FZoIvwzViaf0chJrvVLEH4OM87SaQ_ScxRoCn1rw_wcB

[BorniteIdentity]

I've just heard from the previous owner.  He googled it last night (not remembering having another key) and is of the opinion that I've got a service (valet) key here and not a full key for the trunk.  There's a second key at home but I thought we tried them both yesterday and neither worked.

It's a catch 22.

 

1. I don't want to drill a perfectly good lock if I've just got the wrong key.
2. I don't want to pay out to Volvo for a new key that's still no better.

 

The only way into the car is a long arm through the ski hatch (if there even is one) to loosen the offside rear lamp cluster (in darkness) and then in via that.  

What an unmitigated nightmare.  Something so simple is being thwarted by something so stupid.

[Tickman]

I have a friend who is a locksmith (not auto) and has made me keys for locks that had none as well as getting into lots of things without keys even if it is just knowing what to drill which causes the least damage.

Phone a few and see what they say.

I had an S80 that had the two different keys with one not working the boot, I would have doubted that they did that so early on though.

[Sloth in a bowl]

I like the response on the Volvo forums to a similar problem...

 

 

Hey guys, thanks for the answers. As I said before, I was trying to avoid a locksmith simply becasue I spoke to one and he said he would probably have to drill it. The way he talked, you have to know a lock to pick it and since this one is a Volvo....well he just wasn't comfortable trying it.
Now since I first wrote, I do have my trunk open now. What I did was take a chance that the lock cylinder had froze up due to not being used. This car has sat for the last 4 years so I knew it was a possibility. Well what I did was take some powder graphite and blow it into the cylinder. I then took my new $13.00 key (from the Volvo dealer) and began to work it back and forth. At first it wouldn't move a bit but after about 5 minutes of doing this I began to notice a little bit of play side to side. Well this was encouraging so I added more graphite and kept right on. Well after about another 5 minutes, suddenly I was getting pretty good movement and then in probably another five the lock finally started moving completely through in both directions. At this point I tried the latch and heard it click. That was good but since the trunk has been sealed for who knows how long it still wouldn't open. I actually had to do a dead lift on the trunk lid to get it to unseat off of the weatherstripping. Man it was tight!
Well once I got the lid up in the air I added more graphite and began working the cylinder again. I kept at it until everything was working freely in both directions. Right now the lock works like a new one which has me relived.
More good news is thatthere were no bodies in the trunk. That's always a bonus. There were however 4 very old fishing reels that work which usually fetch a pretty good price on Ebay. I was happy to see that. Unfortunately there was also a bag of "something" in the passengers side wheel well which had once been like dirt or perhaps bentonite clay. Of course the bag had disenegrated and the wheel cavity was full of this junk. I dug it all out and cleaned up as best I could . I was very surprised that there was a little bit of surface rust there but other than that the well was in great shape. A little POR15 on the place and it should be as good as new.
So, just another tale in my adventures of Volvo ownership. I think that once I finish working on this thing I am going to absolutely love it.

Thanks again and have a great weekend.

Dave

 

 

 

 

 

 

[BorniteIdentity]

UPDATE:  They've managed to get into the boot.

 

Body count: TBC.

Key: Valet.

Vendor: Stoner.

MOT: Taking place now.

[Eddie Honda]

http://forums.turbobricks.com/showpost.php?s=69c2855b353739ba206a0607632aecb8&p=2015681&postcount=2

 

TL;DR Ski flap, long extension, light unit out, reach lock.

[BorniteIdentity]

So - collection.  

 

Actually, it went pretty smoothly.  Not perfectly as I had to ask THE WIFE to come in convoy, and that always goes down about as well as a fart in a lift.  We arrived at the car at 3:15 yesterday afternoon, and I quickly found the vendor at his Dad's house where the car had been parked up since Christmas.

 

I took both a jump pack and some leads; the pack more ideal as the battery on a Ford Focus (lead car in the cortege) has an awkwardly recessed battery.

 

 

Thomas the Tank Engine comfort blanket there in case the car was so shit it made me cry and I needed hot milk and a lie down once the deal was done.

 

The owner was a pleasant enough lad, although there wasn't a lot of common ground.  He likes fast cars that go sideways and I...errr... do not.  He planned to "T5 it innit" which I took to mean he planned to ruin it.  He gave nearly £2,000 for it a couple of years ago as it was "a minter".  He's not wrong, the interior is as close to "as new" as you're likely to find in a 27 year old car.  All the panels are utterly solid, and it really does exude more "hewn from granite" properties than the infamous Mercedes W124 that I had last year.

 

First issue, we couldn't get the bonnet open.  He spent 5 minutes swearing at it (strangely ineffective) before I put both feet on the dash, my arse in the air and pulled the cable like I was starting my lawn mower.  Success.  With the booster pack on, one turn of the key and it started.  How fucking stupid was I for doubting that a Volvo of ancient design would do anything other than start at the first time of asking, 5 months after being abandoned on a council estate in Hemel Hempstead?  I let the clutch up a bit quick to get the brakes to free and - well - that was it.  We were off into the bright lights of a new town estate.  A short drive later and we were back at the house, and the deal was done.  

 

There were a few issues, but by now my wife looked ready to empty her bladder there and then.  We couldn't get the bonnet to shut, and we couldn't get the boot to open (more on this later).  Also the heater seems to be stuck on, and was genuinely blowing roasting hot air within half a mile of driving!  Anyway, being pressed along by my wife threatening to piss herself, we drove straight to the MOT centre without hesitation, deviation or repetition.  Driving down the A41 at 60mph was quite memorable; the bonnet twitching nearly as much as my sphincter.  

 

Anyway, arrival.  Here it is.

 

 

I left the car there last night for them to MOT today.  I went along at 1030 this morning to get two tyres on the Granvia, to find they already had it up on the ramps.  The guys were very, very complimentary about the car - remarking about how solid it is underneath.  I was invited to go and have a look for myself.

 

 

(Difficult to photo, but it is indeed every bit as good as my Avensis which is nearly 10 years younger).

 

Anyway, they'd tested it and it really had just failed on minor issues

 

 

This is the exhaust.

 

 

All told, I'm very happy with it.  Or at least, I was!  As you can see above, I had to buy the car with a bonnet that wouldn't shut and and a boot that wouldn't open.  I wasn't in the least bit worried, as I'm 5 miles from the infamous Volvo Graveyard at Wyboston - and I seem to the only person on planet earth that the proprietor actually likes in the entire human race.  What I didn't think through was that, without a boot key, we couldn't replace the blown brake bulb.  After a bit of flapping, the garage managed to get in (I think via the ski hatch with a huge extension bar and a 10mm socket on the lamp cluster).

 

Hopefully, the key they have is a valet key (as they can't work the glove box with it either) and the one at home is a full key.  Volvo won't help me until I get the v5 in my name, so for the time being the boot is lockless as far as I understand.

 

Thanks for all of your help earlier!!

[jonathan_dyane]

Looks superb!

[Eddie Honda]

After a bit of flapping, the garage managed to get in (I think via the ski hatch with a huge extension bar and a 10mm socket on the lamp cluster).

 

Told ya.

[Felly Magic]

Bonnet catch mech possibly seized up, lots of Plusgas, then grease?

[danthecapriman]

Excellent Mr BI! There's few things I enjoy more than a Volvo collection!

 

Glad you've got it sorted(ish).

The boot lock - I seem to remember having two keys with my old 244. One key was a 'Volvo' branded key with a black handle/grip bit. This operated everything except the boot...

The boot key was a metal plain silver key, only opening the boot lock. So I'm fairly certain your missing a key.

My 740 estate has two types of key however, one long standard key and another short key but every key opens or operates everything on that.

Might be worth trying to lube the lock and free it gently with the key. Be careful opening it though as it might rip the boot seal if it's stuck to the metal boot lid (as mentioned above.) once it's open lube the lock and mechanism and smear a thin film of petroleum jelly over the seal top surface, that should stop it sticking.

Volvo will still get key sets if you need them.

 

The bonnet release - is likely just seized from lack of use. Lube the latch and mech and work it in.

Be careful with the release handle! I did what you did and ripped it clean off its mounting under the dash!

This might be a bit stiff too so try pushing the release handle and cable back fully home into the bit under the dash, then try closing the bonnet again.

Mine was a bit like this and unless the handle had been pushed fully back home the bonnet would keep popping up.

 

 

It looks a really nice car though, very solid and clean. It'd have been a shame to hack it about for a T5 innit yo.

More pics plez...

[mrbenn]

What a beauty!

[somewhatfoolish]

That does look mintola. Ideal for dispatching stray moose.

[djimbob]

There was a similar minter saloon for sale near me in Leeds a year or two ago, which I was sorely tempted by, but a very cheap estate came along which I ended up with - to be honest, I think I prefer the look of the saloons, practicality notwithstanding!

 

I've had a couple of the estates now, but really struggled to "love" them, maybe because they were tired and rough, who knows, but I still have a hankering for a big-engined barge just to see if they live up to the hype

 

Too many cars to still try out, not enough wonga and space

 

Good luck with this one, looks a belter

[AnthonyG]

That's lovely. I think all 240s had galvanised panels after the mid eighties (there was a mild facelift at about C/D reg), perhaps why that one has lasted that well, although its obviously been well-cared for apart from the drifter.

 

A late one shouldn't need a separate key for the boot, but I've only experience of the estates, and I might have mis-remembered.

[danthecapriman]

That's lovely. I think all 240s had galvanised panels after the mid eighties (there was a mild facelift at about C/D reg), perhaps why that one has lasted that well, although its obviously been well-cared for apart from the drifter.

I think it was about 87/88 they started galvanising the 200 and 700 Volvo's.

My old 244 was a 79 and it was pretty rusty despite only having 60k odd miles on it.

[egg]

Great car. Well bought!

[Timewaster]

Brilliant.

 

Driving impressions?

 

I always assumed they are a wobbly old barge that handle like a blancmange on a greased tray.

 

The dad never went fast enough in his to be concerned about such things as handling, more what day he would get to his destination.

[BorniteIdentity]

Brilliant.

 

Driving impressions?

 

 

To be honest, I was preoccupied on Sunday with not alerting the police to my existence - as well as being focused on the twitching bonnet out front.  It certainly thrummed along nicely though.  More on that when I get the car back.

 

We're no further forward with the boot lock sadly.  The other key I've got neither opens the trunk or the glovebox, so it appears that I've got two valet keys.  Either that or the boot has a new lock and the car has a new glovebox.  Or there's something jammed in the lock.  I know that the vendor has had previous enjoyment of the rear compartment, as I stalked him on Instgram and found this photo balls deep in his feed.

 

 

That was 2 years ago mind.

 

I'm taking the lock to a locksmith tomorrow who will hopefully make up a new key for the lock for about £20.  I'd happily go to Volvo to get fresh keys all round, but I'm still not convinced that it's not had a replacement lock/boot - so that would be fruitless.

 

Gah.  Nothing's ever simple, eh?!

[Six-cylinder]

I sold them new but that was a while ago now.

 

The service keys which would work the door and ignition were fatter and had smaller plastic heads, would not operate the boot or glove-box. The keys with the larger plastic heads were thinner and would operate all locks.

[BorniteIdentity]

I sold them new but that was a while ago now.

 

The service keys which would work the door and ignition were fatter and had smaller plastic heads, would not operate the boot or glove-box. The keys with the larger plastic heads were thinner and would operate all locks.

This is the one I have. I'm not sure whether the copy the garage have is the same as I've not compared them.

 

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