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Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder: bASeman's Spot of the Year award.


BorniteIdentity

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4 hours ago, Fabergé Greggs said:

Aaah god, why do facelifts relentlessly ruin everything? We need a “facelifts that actually worked” thread if we don’t already have one.. 

I personally think the Clio II Ph2 facelift is way nicer to look at than the Ph1. 

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Was thinking about my old Mercs this morning, and found the most recent pic of my first w201

1993 Mercedes Benz 190E

Scrapped. I literally can’t believe it. It was a beaut. Unless he crashed it (and I doubt it as he was working overseas) then a bloody good car got pulled apart. 

Further proof that, in essence, you can’t always trust other people to do the right thing. 

I appreciate I’m overly sentimental about things, but after the love and money that was lavished on it - it really did deserve more than just 12 months on the road after I sold it. 

Still. He paid. His choice. Still seems a shame. 

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What a fucking day. 

Started at 0400 with a burst of insomnia, so I started work as you do. 

Meeting at 0930 interrupted by a text from my tenant.

9E8F03D8-0370-466E-A0FE-25698A610975.thumb.jpeg.5fd45eb9a3152c189ef7a1b0b33d53ec.jpeg

 

36 month old oil filled rad up in flames.  Look out for me on “Landlords from Hell” next month.

Then the Avensis failed it’s MOT. No huge surprises other than the fugging catalytic converter. I suppose at 262,000 it’s done it’s shift - but I’m torn. Aftermarket parts tend to be shit, and an OEM one looks like megabucks. 

Left meeting to take van to Kings Langley (Toyota Specialist) en route to a meeting in Guildford. Gearbox went thump about 10 miles into journey (near Bedford) EML on, no power so I freewheeled into the nearest lay-by. Smelt gearboxy®️. Tried to start it again but it would spin and spin but not fire. Suspected something terminal so called the AA. After 15 minutes of explaining to the moron on the phone where I was (having used the app with GPS AND a marker sign he still got it wrong by 3 miles in the wrong direction) someone came very sharpish. 

The CuntPig started. 

Not only did it start, it was like nothing had happened. No EML. No box issues. Started and drove it home 12 miles being tailed by the AA. The guy suspects it might be a crank position sensor because it would fire and run after it had coooled, but that wouldn’t explain the previous gearbox problems of late August.

CEAB2926-4D6F-4A52-B1AA-FF99E0B893FD.thumb.jpeg.5afc6c121695bde9d68fdfd769c4b8e6.jpeg

It will be for sale for spares/repairs imminently. I love the old thing, but I would never ever hear the end of it if it stranded us on a day out. I’ve no idea what it’s worth - and it’s tricky to research it as there’s little comparable. 

What a thundercunt of a day! 

 

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  • BorniteIdentity changed the title to Bornite's Memoirs - MOT fails and Breakdowns.

Not a bad price probably?

My Clio cat is worth £450 as scrap. Dread to think what a OEM one is new. Sports cats are £250. 

As you might imagine, quite a few people are scrapping their cats and lobbing sports cats on. Or buying Clios, fresh MOT, scrapping the cat, decat pipe and then sell on the car as "modified for performance with decat". Amazingly people fall for it. 

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On 10/14/2020 at 1:58 PM, BorniteIdentity said:

I need to try harder in life.  Still, got new trims and a FW sticker, so it's not all shit.

The Sierra needs somewhere dry for the winter, and I'm out of ideas.  Mini has the garage (it has to be that way) and the Sierra will just deteriorate away if it's not looked after better than I already am.  With that in mind, if anyone has any undercover space and is willing to help out I'd be grateful to hear.

Dry car storage is difficult unless you want to lay out loads in deposits and months of rent up front for a garage, that always come unmeasured.  I tried recently to find somewhere for the 75 but in the end found a nice big driveway locally in a nice leafy part of town.  Not in the dry but at least its safe and tucked away off the road for a whole tenner a week.  

How about a cover for the Sierra?

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2 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

What a fucking day. 

Started at 0400 with a burst of insomnia, so I started work as you do. 

Meeting at 0930 interrupted by a text from my tenant.

9E8F03D8-0370-466E-A0FE-25698A610975.thumb.jpeg.5fd45eb9a3152c189ef7a1b0b33d53ec.jpeg

 

36 month old oil filled rad up in flames.  Look out for me on “Landlords from Hell” next month.

Then the Avensis failed it’s MOT. No huge surprises other than the fugging catalytic converter. I suppose at 262,000 it’s done it’s shift - but I’m torn. Aftermarket parts tend to be shit, and an OEM one looks like megabucks. 

Left meeting to take van to Kings Langley (Toyota Specialist) en route to a meeting in Guildford. Gearbox went thump about 10 miles into journey (near Bedford) EML on, no power so I freewheeled into the nearest lay-by. Smelt gearboxy®️. Tried to start it again but it would spin and spin but not fire. Suspected something terminal so called the AA. After 15 minutes of explaining to the moron on the phone where I was (having used the app with GPS AND a marker sign he still got it wrong by 3 miles in the wrong direction) someone came very sharpish. 

The CuntPig started. 

Not only did it start, it was like nothing had happened. No EML. No box issues. Started and drove it home 12 miles being tailed by the AA. The guy suspects it might be a crank position sensor because it would fire and run after it had coooled, but that wouldn’t explain the previous gearbox problems of late August.

CEAB2926-4D6F-4A52-B1AA-FF99E0B893FD.thumb.jpeg.5afc6c121695bde9d68fdfd769c4b8e6.jpeg

It will be for sale for spares/repairs imminently. I love the old thing, but I would never ever hear the end of it if it stranded us on a day out. I’ve no idea what it’s worth - and it’s tricky to research it as there’s little comparable. 

What a thundercunt of a day! 

 

Crank sensor diagnosis/theory isn't necessarily a bad idea.

Depending where the gearbox (I'm assuming on something that new it's electronically controlled) gets its engine rpm data from, a flaky crankshaft position sensor *could* make it throw it's toys out the pram.

If the sensor isn't expensive/absolute hell to change I'd give it a try.

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1 hour ago, SiC said:

Not a bad price probably?

My Clio cat is worth £450 as scrap. Dread to think what a OEM one is new. Sports cats are £250. 

As you might imagine, quite a few people are scrapping their cats and lobbing sports cats on. Or buying Clios, fresh MOT, scrapping the cat, decat pipe and then sell on the car as "modified for performance with decat". Amazingly people fall for it. 

Similar story with MX5s. I was speaking to a guy who breaks them today who said that the ones from some 1.8 cars are worth £500+! As the avensis is also a Japanese car from the same era, with a similarly sized engine, it may be a similar story. Could be worth checking, as if that’s case, it might not be such a bad price, and it could potentially last another 260,000 miles

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7 hours ago, SiC said:

If the cat isn't empty, it might go a fair way back to paying for a new one as scrap.

Forgive me - but why would it be empty? 

I don’t like the implication that I would have gutted it (on an old and feeble heap especially) and I’m confident you wouldn’t suggest that either. 

No thieves I’ve ever heard of steal them, empty them then carefully replace them either. 

So excuse my ignorance but I don’t follow. My understanding is it’s likely to be FULL/BLOCKED not empty. Sorry if that’s wrong. 

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1 hour ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Forgive me - but why would it be empty? 

I don’t like the implication that I would have gutted it (on an old and feeble heap especially) and I’m confident you wouldn’t suggest that either. 

No thieves I’ve ever heard of steal them, empty them then carefully replace them either. 

So excuse my ignorance but I don’t follow. My understanding is it’s likely to be FULL/BLOCKED not empty. Sorry if that’s wrong. 

The ceramic honeycomb innards can collapse and fall out on their own bit by bit, the one on my Lupo did.

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1 minute ago, cobblers said:

The ceramic honeycomb innards can collapse and fall out on their own bit by bit, the one on my Lupo did.

Right - thanks man. It didn’t make sense to an old doofus like me as I knew SiC wouldn’t be having a pop, but I thought they just clogged up - not broke down. 

Is there much of an export market atm? One option is to bail, not because a car wants a piece of exhaust and some copper pipe - but because I’ve been offered car on long term loan completely FOC. It would help divert funds into the Mini and my house. The last old Yoda I sold ended up going East via Germany and made extremely good money. 
 

Just wondered if, with Covid, if that market has dried up atm. 

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3 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Right - thanks man. It didn’t make sense to an old doofus like me as I knew SiC wouldn’t be having a pop, but I thought they just clogged up - not broke down. 

They do clog up but they also do breakdown and also become contaminated (excessively rich running/oil burning/etc). Could well be that yours is failing as the expensive, precious honeycomb is scattered across miles of road. 

Having a pop? Well it looks like you are running illegal tints on it... 😒

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21 minutes ago, SiC said:

Having a pop? 

With the greatest of respects, it's becoming a bit of a theme isn't it?  You made a remark about an empty cat, straight after a comment on the tints - two weeks after...

On 8/17/2020 at 3:28 PM, SiC said:

So basically if it wasn't for Boris and his MOT extension, you'd be a bit fucked car wise?

For which you sort of stood down so I let it go. I'm a pacifist.

I'm not sure about the tints.  I gave it to someone to do 5 or 6 years ago.  I gave him the keys and said "privacy glass in the back please" (because there is NO BOOT, nothing to do with me being a PIMP, drugs baron or whatever) and asked him to "tint the front as he would recommend".  I paid him £200.  I don't have a light meter, and it's never crossed my mind.  

I must have upset you at some stage.  Perhaps when it at FotU last year when I said how lovely your car was, or at the FoD when I said to your wife what a great choice you have in cars.  

Whatever.  I'm glad you enjoy looking down your nose at me, firing the odd snide remark.  Far be it from me to spoil your sport.  

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33 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said:

Whatever.  I'm glad you enjoy looking down your nose at me, firing the odd snide remark.  Far be it from me to spoil your sport.  

You're reading too much into my remarks and thinking I'm trying to have a go in a malicious way. Probably doesn't work as well in text as I can't portray the cheeky wry smile that I would naturally do in person and get away with it. 

Cat remark wasn't a pop, just something to try helping you with - they're worth a lot and if there is material left it can help repay getting it on the road. But there is a chance there isn't any left, so can't bank on it.

Tints? I was surprised that you had them so dark, as I wouldn't have thought the darked out front was your kinda thing. But then also wasn't sure if it was just the light/picture too. Can't say I'm bothered at all, I guess it broke my mental model of you that everyone builds up of one and other, which surprised me.

MOT thing? Just some jovial banter. I know of course you're not really fucked and I wouldn't have said that if I knew you were - at least phrased in that way. A man of your means would simply go down to the nearest hire car place and pick up a temporary replacement until the fleet was back on the road. 

I like you a lot, you're a nice guy and I have zero beef against you. 🤗

Don't feel singled out, I have this sort of light hearted banter with all my friends. Either give it back/play along with counter banter or just ignore me. 

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7 minutes ago, SiC said:

A man of your means would simply go down to the nearest hire car place and pick up a temporary replacement until the fleet was back on the road. 

Not sure he'd need to, there's enough of us on here with too many* cars who would happily help out.

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21 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

Maybe his eyes are still hurting from that shirt and it's making him hold a grudge?  :P

Funnily enough I was chatting to my wife the other day about our local radio service - Sam FM. It owned by Bauer Media and all the other local radio stations seemed to have been absorbed into "Greatest Hits". The DJs on GH seem to be some of the old guard I remember from Radio 1 like Mark Radcliffe and Simon Mayo. 

Anyway I was mentioning that @BorniteIdentity was a radio DJ and I wondered if you were on that station too. "Who's he?", my wife asked. "The guy in that bright shirt when we went to FoTU and that field after", I responded. Surprised she remarked, "Is he? That's pretty cool!".

You must have left a indelible (good) mark in my wife's memory! 😄

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5 hours ago, SiC said:

Funnily enough I was chatting to my wife the other day about our local radio service - Sam FM.

It will be "Hits Radio" by January.

https://radiotoday.co.uk/2020/10/bauer-wants-to-turn-sam-fm-bristol-into-hits-radio/

 

It's a funny old job.  I actually get more enjoyment out of working with a handful of our customers than I do being on air these days.  I guess 18 years of doing the same thing, whatever that may be, does that to a bloke.

Apologies if I misinterpreted your remarks. No hard feelings I hope.  

 

Back to shitheaps then - I've put up a F/S thread for the Granvia but have no idea what it's worth.  Spoke with my chum again at Japex who said it's almost certainly the camshaft sensor that's kippered, but it's time anyway.  No idea on price, so it might have to go on eBay as an auction with a view to being exported or bought by one of the many breakers.  A shame, but you can't save them all.

I can save the Avensis though, and will.  It seems faintly ridiculous to throw it away  only for it to end up in Mozambique... trundling on indefinitely having had the cat cut out and the fuelling tricked by an o2 sensor or two.   Part of me wonders whether it would pass anyway if it was white hot and went straight onto the ramps, but it deserves to be fixed and fixed it will be.

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9 hours ago, wuvvum said:

The cat on my C4 was empty - it appeared to be original, it had just (presumably) broken up over the life of the car.  I don't think anyone is going to decat a 1.6-litre C4 for "performance".

Interestingly the CO reading was only just over the limit even with effectively no cat in the system at all.

I think my Mondeo is at this stage (original cat) CO is always bang on the (idle?) limit at 0.30. But then the Mazda is also on it's original cat as far as I know and CO is virtually zero!

edit: but is that the non cat test?

I'm confusing myself. Not for the first time.

edit again - I had no idea but DVSA individually name cars in the 92-95 transition period for cats - and the exact requirements for that model: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/676700/in-service-exhaust-emission-standards-for-road-vehicles-19th-edition.pdf

Sorry for thread drift, Dan.

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