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Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder: bASeman's Spot of the Year award.


BorniteIdentity

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  • 2 weeks later...

I’ve just serviced the w201 for the first time in my ownership. Genuinely, it was a joy. I know these “Hewn from Granite Innit” Mercedes have an unfairly good press at times, but even a complete novice like me found it pleasurable.

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It’s difficult to see in this photo, but the bottom of the sump isn’t level, it slopes down left to right. So not only is the sump plug at the lowest point (IKR groundbreaking) but oil runs out sensibly. 

Also, the sump plug is on the side not the bottom. This way you get a satisfying and predictable spaff. Any man who’s ever taken aim at his good lady’s bosom will know the feeling AND the right place to stand. This is the same. The hole is also larger (fnar fnar) than my Toyota so the whole thing was over in 5 minutes (story of my life)

Having the carb powered unit you can actually drop the oil from the top! 

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(that carpet is the ground)

Also the oil cap and filler point is right at the top and right at the front. It’s literally impossible to spill oil when filling. (Look how I’ve managed to spill oil) AA14A056-8D5F-4561-AC9F-FF12D92F1F3F.thumb.jpeg.18fd39af048f3a3abad1125d8bf8a7dd.jpeg

Oil filter is mounted horizontally, face down, so impossible to cross thread and easy to replace.

Air filter housing clamps and bolts on in a very satisfying manner.

Only drama was spark plugs because I couldn’t find my socket - next time eh?! 

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  • 3 weeks later...

There now follows a tale of woe. It’s taken me nearly a week to mentally prepare for reliving last Thursday!

It started well with me using the Mini for work duties; we were shooting video at Cambridge Railway and parking is about as painful as repairing ones own prolapsed rectum. Unless you drive a Mini.5ADB2AF1-9CFA-4D7F-A01F-E04D1C78826A.thumb.jpeg.a099bd4f2449aa28bb4eb511cf20daf9.jpeg

Tourists and workers alike LOVED watching this, and it was so satisfying to creep into what wasn’t a space at all!

Work finished for the day, I schlepped down the A14 to Ipswich, my home town, for the East Coast Retros meet. I stopped for a brief trip down memory lane where my best friend used to live. 3C611C84-4AE6-4AB5-8035-07DFDAA7113F.thumb.jpeg.09ea3f4687f6c936577152cb3e0ee3b1.jpeg

I made it in good time to Shotley, and had a nice chat with James Walshe of Practical Classics about the car. He’s a lovely lovely man and we have a number of very good, mutual friends. Anyway, whilst taking about the car he stopped mid sentence. 

Tyres are fucked. 

Now. I should have had the car tracked up once we put new tyres and TRE’s on. Obviously I know that. Obviously. But it drove straight (straighter than most) and stopped straight. Nonetheless, I should have had the tracking done. Here’s what my tyres looked like after 400 miles.B151335F-0380-4B12-864D-5E1513F1B394.thumb.jpeg.9d3abac4b0b05a885a551a89806209af.jpeg

I should say that they were fine at the start of Thursday - the damage was obviously done during high speed motoring in hot temperatures over a distance of about 130 miles. 

So I call the AA who refuse to help. I kicked off and they agreed to help. I then kicked off because, had my wife called, they’d have just fobbed her off. They sub it out to a local contractor and - five hours later - pretty much everyone’s gone home and it’s 10pm. I’m 2 hours from home and less than happy. 

For legal reasons I can’t say what happened next, other than the recovery company turned up but I was... err... no longer there and my tyres are now even more worn. BA1FF273-513D-4470-88FC-06A5311CBC8B.thumb.jpeg.ccecfc02687efd19a1004e359c07235f.jpeg

I declined the offer of swapping fronts for backs because I’m a mingebag without a jack and the wheel brace was on the floor of my garage. 

Feel free to berate me - it is what I deserve. Three new tyres on order and lesson learned.  Thanks to @Brodders and @wuvvum for keeping me company and @trigger for a great meet.

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Tch.  Tyres, eh?

I checked mine a week last Thursday; I knew one had worn badly on the inner edge but it was OK.  By Tuesday when I got to the tyre shop, a hoop of ply was exposed.  Oops.  Oh well, nobody died and the garage got to relieve me of an extra sixty quid to do the wheel alignment.

Mini parking picture is ace.  

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32 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

that parking shot is epic :) 

what tyres did you stick on exactly? IIRC these take 145R10

I know @Zelandeth has these on TPA where they look very nice :) 

https://www.vintagetyres.com/shop/tyres/camac-bn313-145r10-68s

Thanks - yes 145 80 10s but I will buy Falkens to match the rears. Had I known of those earlier in the year I would have considered them! The only other ‘period looking’ ones I’ve seen were Dunlops at £manycashmonies 

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56 minutes ago, vulgalour said:

The AA don't recover you if you've broken down, didn't you know that?  I didn't know that either until I broke down.

It was an interesting conversation along those lines.

Me: “Oh so I should continue on these tyres for another few miles, cause an accident and THEN call you back?

Them: “I’m absolutely not saying that”

Me: “Ok see you in a bit”... 

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1 hour ago, vulgalour said:

The AA don't recover you if you've broken down, didn't you know that?  I didn't know that either until I broke down.

Can you expand on this please. I seem to remember something from the distant past, but can't recall exactly what dhappened.

Or didn't happen.

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I have some sympathy with the AA in this instance.

You were not broken down.

They will come out and fit your spare if  you have a flat, but you needed  2.  Did you have a spare?

There is something in the terms and conditions about vehicle being kept in a roadworthy condition. They can refuse if it's not been serviced etc, but rarely do so.

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37 minutes ago, Mally said:

I have some sympathy with the AA in this instance.

You were not broken down.

They will come out and fit your spare if  you have a flat, but you needed  2.  Did you have a spare?

There is something in the terms and conditions about vehicle being kept in a roadworthy condition. They can refuse if it's not been serviced etc, but rarely do so.

They didn’t seem to know what to say tbh. They first said “we don’t recover unroadworthy vehicles” which is simply not true. Plenty of cars they attend day in, day out are not ‘roadworthy’ - my last Mercedes 190 with an engine that had grenaded being one example. When I asked them to read the specific clause that excluded me from being collected - they could not. When I offered them a couple of other examples of me receiving attention whilst in an unroadworthy state they agreed to send someone. 

They then told the company they subbed it to that I had two punctures and two spares on board which even I found funny. Who carries two spares? The second company were good on the phone but in reality they didn’t show for four hours. They freely admitted that they took another job whilst en-route to me and I can only assume that was because it was a nice earner (she said assisting police with an A14 collision and it needed to go to their yard) and then the driver’s tracker mysteriously went off. 

I’m a bit disillusioned with it all. Obviously stuff goes wrong, I’m not stupid. But the fact I really had to argue with them - something my wife wouldn’t have done - leaves a bad taste. The shitty service I sort of expect, but not unequal and unfair treatment. 

I will in all likelihood just revert to the cover on my bank account and not venture too far in the old heaps until I’ve every confidence in their condition and when I’m not starting work at 5am the next morning!

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2 hours ago, Mally said:

I do actually have 2 brand new spares on our trailer, because they will tow a trailer, but not recover a broken trailer.

They must have changed their policy then - when I had two trailer tyres blow out on the same collection mission back in 2008, they picked the trailer up on a flatbed and took it to a tyre place for me.  And this in spite of the fact that the trailer may* have been slightly* overloaded.

Image050.jpg.45015a2f7d3305b0a449324944c0c756.jpg

 

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7 hours ago, LightBulbFun said:

one could argue he was, they where fresh tires that suddenly went bald in 400 miles

id consider that something broken with the car :) (in this case the tracking)

I'm inclined to agree in that it is a fault with the car which has rendered it undrivable in a short space of time rather than long term neglect of tyres and is therefore broken down. Good luck trying to convince the AA of that though...

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Whilst you have the wheels off, 4 new ball joints 2 track rod ends and 2 new knuckle joints.  The last mini I owned seemed to need all of them more often than brake pads despite aerospace* spec grease in my grease gun. 

 

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Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) that needed changing was changed when we recommissioned the car.  The TRE's are newer than a new thing - that is, in all likelihood, what caused the problem.

As for the tyres, the AA would struggle to argue the tyres are old because, fortunately, the datecode on them is from the end of last year.  I can't be arsed to argue with them though, they listen better when you say goodbye to them.

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12 hours ago, wuvvum said:

They must have changed their policy then - when I had two trailer tyres blow out on the same collection mission back in 2008, they picked the trailer up on a flatbed and took it to a tyre place for me.  And this in spite of the fact that the trailer may* have been slightly* overloaded.

Image050.jpg.45015a2f7d3305b0a449324944c0c756.jpg

 

My bad, seems you are correct.

Maybe I made it up in my head, but I'm sure it used to say, will only recover a tow able trailer.

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I used to work for The AA...

They are  cunts. On a monumental scale! They treated everyone like shit be it customers or their own staff. Mind you, I expect that’s normal for any business in this cuntry these days.

 

Love the pic of the Mini parked between those two modern abortions btw!

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Good to see you, briefly, last week Dan, I had been talking to James before and said your car would be good for the magazine, he said he had been chatting to you via twitter but had never met you so I ushered him in your direction.

I see the large recovery truck turn up at 10pm but didn't know about your tyres issues at the time so wondered what he was doing.

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Mally:  warped brake disc on the Princess.  Not a breakdown.  Double not a breakdown when you do it outside a garage that is closed because you're now at a place of repair.  They didn't care about losing me as a customer, particularly, they'd got their money's worth out of me since the only time they ever recovered me was when the head gasket went on the Princess some years ago and their first suggestion for that was to put K-seal in, even though the water came out the exhaust as fast as you poured it into the cooling system.

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