Budget cars that fool people into thinking you have "wealth and taste"?

[They_all_do_that_sir]

so a lot over the grand budget BUT you really won't do better than one of these (on wealth anyway, taste out the window)

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-735-3-6-auto-2002-i-Service-history-19-stamps-14-of-them-BMW-P-X-Swap-/291693578487?hash=item43ea4ac8f7:g:CTUAAOSwll1Wzx1s

 

They are bloody massive so have ridiculous levels of presence, they aren't that common (over here anyway) so stand out and they look pretty current.

 

I know a few old money types and honestly what you drive will never impress them in the slightest. The rest of the world will either think you are a ball bag (envy or genuine "who needs a car like that") or be impressed.

[vulgalour]

white isn't totally out, but if you really want to impress it's not the colour to have.  For small cars you want pastel 70s bathroom type colours.  For big cars you want to be going for silvers, particularly nearly-white and nearly-black silvers.

 

Brown had a brief, glorious moment in the limelight but that seems to have quickly fallen out of favour again.

 

Bright metallic green and bright flat red are in for hot hatches presently with primary blue and primary yellow occasionally making an appearance.

 

If you want your car to be of apparently no worth at all, metallic burgundy and doom blue are where it's at.

[Captain Furious]

I prefer the E38 shape 7 series, I very nearly bought one a while ago, a 735i which is the less popular engine but still full of V8 goodness, the car was a magnificent looking thing, unfortunately footman James weren't willing to entertain it on a classic policy and because my NCB are otherwise engaged a conventional policy was about £800 which didn't fit with my mingebag motoring budget. Oddly they insured a Granada of similar vintage no problem.

 

After a recent trip to the British Motor Museum at Gaydon I came back all misty eyed about Jag XJ's and started dangerously perusing the auto trader, I couldn't believe some of the cars you can get for a grand or less. I don't doubt that many of them are a bout of 4 wheel wallet rape waiting to happen, but one day am going to take a brave pill and buy an old V12 Jag. If nothing else so I can forever begin stories with "when I had my V12 Jag..."

[For Fiats Sake]

The answer is Panda - now what's the question?

[fatharris]

How do I FTP in the most extravagant manner?

[spartacus]

Junkman managed to get 'depth probing' into a post...

I couldn't help pointing that out, as you were.

[messerschmitt owner]

Sarah Beeny's chap pottered around in a snotty old mk3 Granny when they were restoring their mansion, Rise Hall, a couple of years back. Not overly surprising when you read a quote from Beeny herself in 2004:

 

What car do you drive?

"We have two cars; one’s a 12-year-old bronze Saab 9000, which was my father’s and the other is a brown, dented Ford Granada which was my grandfather’s."

Sounds a bit of a shiter.

 

a bit nippy today!

[Partridge]

The original challenge was to name cars that could “fool the general public into thinking you were a man/woman of wealth and taste?â€

 

The whole of the general public will never fit into the same category so I’ll split them into:

1) Those that have money

2) Those that try to fool others into thinking they have money but actually have a big credit line

3) Those that have no money

4) Shiters. 

 

For 1)  a large discrete car that is in reasonable condition but shows signs of use.

For 2)  badge is everything. Only a Benz, B** or Aldi less than 5 years old  will do. Possibly VW at a pinch.

For 3) a car that’s large and shiny. Any badge.

For 4) Should be a car at least 10 years old, well used and with a badge that category 2 above will p*ss all over. They will appreciate your taste and ignore anything to do with wealth. If the car is a Talbot, Lada or Yugo you will get maximum admiration.

Puts me in mind of what Dugong calls the "shit tyres and shiny paint brigade".

[EssDeeWon]

The earlier Jag S-Type wins it for me. Especially with a private* £250 plate stuck on.

[Alexg]

I think with the Rover 75 it depends who you're trying to impress. Sure you're fooling no one as you roll a 75 out the gates of BCA past some pikeys who didn't want it beyond £175; but swing by your Mums on the way home and she'll assume you've just made middle management.

[djimbob]

There has been extensive marketing research over the past 70 odd years or so, revealing that the really rich people, i.e. the ones that always had money,

don't have to show their wealth, and indeed usually tend to drive either old beaters, or just 'cheap' new cars.

Those Rolls and AM guys admittedly aren't poor, but they still have status issues due to usually having started from humbler backgrounds.

There will be exceptions in either league, but this is the conclusion the high end automotive marketers established in general.

 

This has been extensively described in John Keats' book 'The Insolent Chariots' and Vance Packard's 'The Hidden Persuaders', both based on depth probing.

 

I suppose the best way to appear "old money" would be to buy a shiter, and wear the appropriate garb, adopt the correct accent and mannerisms, purchase the usual accessories such as pedigree dogs and lo! Blend in with the toffs like a good 'un!

 

None of which apart from the purchase of a shiter, has any appeal to me in the slightest

[Partridge]

Here you go. Buy this.

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/jaguar/jaguar-xj8-sports./1166735552

 

Then smother it to buggery with Demon Shine, pour gunk over the seats which smells of sick and makes them shiny as Kojak's head. "Service" it by pulling out the tip stick and replacing the washer fluid, then use the money you've saved on servicing to buy a private plate that says OIUZLZ 11235.

 

The keep posting on facebook about how you "don't give a rat's arse, mate" about MPG because you're a winner/man of style/legend/only live once with pictures shot on a cameraphone obscured by a weird filter.

 

Replace the tyres with Nexens and never put air in them "I'm not paying 50p for the air machine, it's daylight robbery innit."

 

Then, a few months later post another picture of it covered with egg and flour moaning about people are "jealous because they can't afford nice things, which I've worked hard for" and say that you're going to "break their faaakin legs when I find out who done this." accompanied by seven angry emoticons.

 

Then, even though you live in a bedsit which smells of dogs and eat frozen pizza every night, and play on casino apps when you're not blathering verbal diarrhea about Champagne motoring, you will know that you've made it.

[Slappy]

GF's Aunt's husband's family own a small chunk of the nation's construction industry. He went to Harrow and still receives "an allowance from mother". They may have a Jag F-Type S V8 and a brand new Robinson R66, but he still goes to work every day in an '03 Merc CLK

Off-topic, but I'm fairly sure the Lexus that Vulg posted at the top of the page is run as a daily by an old dear near me who looks about 80, maybe a bit more. However, it looks really good up close, and she is by no means a dawdler either! Always brings a smile when I see it (esp as my Grandad had 2 of that era)

[Formula Autos]

Jaguar x type. Oozes vital fluids and oxidisation.

 

FTFY

 

 

[dugong]

I think with the Rover 75 it depends who you're trying to impress. Sure you're fooling no one as you roll a 75 out the gates of BCA past some pikeys who didn't want it beyond £175; but swing by your Mums on the way home and she'll assume you've just made middle management.

Er...

 

Where I grew up, if you had anything Austin Rover, people thought you were skint.

The only time that ever changed in Manchester was when the R8 came out, because it was a 'posh' car the size of an Escort (that also smelled nice).

People actually queued outside Drabble & Allen for them; my dad tried to get one on a company car allowance and couldn't because they'd sold out.

 

If you had a Ford, Vauxhall or Peugeot, you were doing OK. You weren't minted, but you were hardly scooping leftovers out of bins.

 

If you were an aggy tosser with a bit of money, you had a BMW. If you actually had money, you bought a Mercedes.

 

A BMW too flash and a Merc too pricey? A Jaguar for you, kid.

 

VWs didn't really feature much near me - there were two dealers, one in Hyde and one in Sale - and its cars were regarded as a bit weird because you

spent a ton of money and got a very basic car with no equipment in return. Once upon a time, people bought cars based on VFM rather than the badge up front.

All the hot hatch kids had French stuff.

 

The R75 was always thought of as a pensioner's car in Manchester. Anyone with any sense bought a Passat or an Octavia and left the flag waving to

the plughole fanatics and the geriatric. No-one cared they were decent cars; they are, but 'classy' they are not.

[Alexg]

Yeah, but if you know zip about cars it can be an impressive looking thing. My elderly neighbour walked out the house to ask me about my "big fancy car". I'm not sure I'd have received the same reaction if I'd a 51 plate Passatt. My Mum thought it was "sheer class" when I took her out for a meal on Mothers Day, she felt like I'd just collected her in a Rolls Royce. I doubt she would have been as proud if I'd swung by in a Vectra B. Which is what this thread was about I thought, the perception of others, and not our own understandings.

[SiC]

Once upon a time, people bought cars based on VFM rather than the badge up front.

 

When financed you don't need to look at the purchase price as much, as the monthly repayments take into account that but mostly deprecation.

 

As the German stuff often has low deprecation, it keeps the monthly repayments low too. It also helps that the German banks are in on it too and keep the finance cheap.

[messerschmitt owner]

I have found that a tidy convertible always fools the masses ...

[DodgyBastard]

Tata Loadbeta 2.0 tdi Olive drab by srblythe, on Flickr

 

This is all you need!

[Partridge]

I've seen pictures of that done somewhere, but I can't remember where. It's very convincing actually.

[nebuchenezer]

white isn't totally out, but if you really want to impress it's not the colour to have.  For small cars you want pastel 70s bathroom type colours.  For big cars you want to be going for silvers, particularly nearly-white and nearly-black silvers.

 

Brown had a brief, glorious moment in the limelight but that seems to have quickly fallen out of favour again.

 

Bright metallic green and bright flat red are in for hot hatches presently with primary blue and primary yellow occasionally making an appearance.

 

If you want your car to be of apparently no worth at all, metallic burgundy and doom blue are where it's at.

No worth and well under a bag:

 

 

I is loozer 

[Junkman]

If you really want your neighbours think you are a property developer now, buy one of these.
 

 

 
 
They really do look like you've made it, yet can be had for well below five figures.

A-S has the added advantage, that it's all pressed steel construction.

[SiC]

No worth and well under a bag:

 

 

I is loozer 

I really do like the late 90s and early 00s Mercs nowadays. From a time when Merc still had class unlike some of the stuff they are churning out now. Shame they go crusty so quickly. Yours looks modern enough that the plate on it make it looks like a personal plate on it.

 

These I think are a good contender for the original requirement. Ok its a lot more expensive than 1k, but at 2.5k its about the same as 2 years of finance on a Peugeot 108 and (imo) look 10x what it is.

 

http://www2.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201602120972069

[Lacquer Peel]

I reckon a tidy 75 in the right colour with the right wheels looks very classy, I always admire nice ones when I see them.

Don't care what the people of Manchester thought in 2000.

[dugong]

I reckon a tidy 75 in the right colour with the right wheels looks very classy, I always admire nice ones when I see them. Don't care what the people of Manchester thought in 2000.

And I think they look tragic and have a Werther's Original Trafford Centre interior.

SUPPORT BRITAIN. INVERTED SNOBBERY ALWAYS.

 

A PROPER CAR.

[Lacquer Peel]

An Octavia with a grey interior, concrete seats and unrefined ride is much better* than a 75.

[dugong]

An Octavia with a grey interior, concrete seats and unrefined ride is much better* than a 75.

"What's that? A Rover? Don't they blow head gaskets?"

 

MYTHS. PROPER CARS HAVE TURBO K SERIES ENGINES. NOT INLET MANIFOLD GASKET ANTI MGR MEDIA FOAM FOAM

FOAM.

[Captain Furious]

The main problem with the Rover 75 is that if its a diesel then it will be physically impossible for its owner NOT to tell you that its a BMW engine

 

This is my Rover 75 (with the BMW engine)

 

Like Skoda owners and the VW reference.

[Alan_Green]

Think a CLK/W124 coupe or C70 probably win. If only you could fine one hand painted in nato green...oh: 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Mercedes-W124-300CE-1989/252369779490?_trksid=p2047675.c100010.m2109&_trkparms=aid%3D555012%26algo%3DPW.MBE%26ao%3D2%26asc%3D36381%26meid%3Dc6b60e8ae52740008769dce09d8a7941%26pid%3D100010%26rk%3D5%26rkt%3D24%26sd%3D222098094481

 

[Lacquer Peel]

"What's that? A Rover? Don't they blow head gaskets?"

 

MYTHS. PROPER CARS HAVE TURBO K SERIES ENGINES. NOT INLET MANIFOLD GASKET ANTI MGR MEDIA FOAM FOAM

FOAM.

 

You don't hear much about the timing chain failures of recent German cars.