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Strangeangel's Shite-tastic Shenanigans 12/12 NEW MOTOR - ACHIEVED.


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The 1/2" drive Allen bit did the job... in a manner of speaking:

 

snapped.thumb.jpg.2a1055df8afbb5905070e69ecad002c3.jpg

 

Oh, well... the knackered bearings came out easily - a little too easily, in fact:

 

peened.thumb.jpg.4b4680251cb0a7b7a4dbc0ece7160f61.jpg

 

ARSE. Maybe time to look for a decent second-hand fork bridge? Or will they all be like this? New ones are available but no because £300.

 

Time for a think (and a brew)...

 

 

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1 hour ago, spartacus said:

Is that pitting on the inside?

I've probably missed it but what engine is in this, two or four stroke and is it BMWs own?

It looks like it's going to get a second lease of life, you're certainly doing it justice.

 

It's not pitted, that's bodgery - the bearing seat is worn, so someone's peened it to stop the bearings moving around. The motor is, I believe, a Sachs 120cc 4-stroke. BMW also fitted a larger variant - 175cc - but these are pretty rare.

 

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Do you know what bearing number it is and have you got some calipers to estimate the size of the hole?

I'm not sure if that seat really is worn, it's very unlikely to get movement between the outer race and the seat.

Could the peenage be bodgery where someone has tried to fit a slightly too small bearing?

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25 minutes ago, Dave_Q said:

Do you know what bearing number it is and have you got some calipers to estimate the size of the hole?

I'm not sure if that seat really is worn, it's very unlikely to get movement between the outer race and the seat.

Could the peenage be bodgery where someone has tried to fit a slightly too small bearing?

 

It did surprise me a bit, you get that sort of thing with wheel bearings (like the front wheel on this...) but I've not seen steering head bearings wear the seat out. It's supposed to have SKF 6002s in there, and that's what I've just taken out. You can still clearly see the number.

 

There was play at the steering head, but the bearings haven't collapsed. They are, however, as rough as fuck and really don't  spin freely. I have got some digital verniers but they're at the back of the garage, so I'll have a look tomorrow.

 

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Hmm. I was wondering if there was a size you could go up to and get a machine shop to bore it out, but all I can find from a quick search is 37x15x9 and there may not be enough meat for that?

There are several imperial sizes in the 35.something - 36mm range but they obviously all have imperial inner races as well so would just move the problem.

I reckon a machine shop could maybe bore it out and press in a sleeve?

I've seen this ad on my occasional searches for a lathe, can't figure out how to link it from the mobile app and don't know if you do FB but can ask for a number if not.

ad0ff817e134ea05279a4d74402d4067.jpg

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A pause in all this BMW action for some gratuitous DVLA aggro. They've rejected the Tula's application again, this time because I haven't informed HMRC of it's arrival. Oh yes I have, I reply, quoting the NOVA reference from the certificate in front of me. Sadly, they care not about such things - they queried the HMRC system = COMPUTER SAYS NO, and that's that.

 

I phone HMRC who take my details, check their system and tell me everything is in order with the Tula's NOVA. Now all I have to do is convince DVLA of this...

 

what-could-possibly-go-wrong.jpg

 

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1 minute ago, strangeangel said:

A pause in all this BMW action for some gratuitous DVLA aggro. They've rejected the Tula's application again, this time because I haven't informed HMRC of it's arrival. Oh yes I have, I reply, quoting the NOVA reference from the certificate in front of me. Sadly, they care not about such things - they queried the HMRC system = COMPUTER SAYS NO, and that's that.

 

I phone HMRC who take my details, check the system and tell me everything is in order with the Tula's NOVA. Now all I have to do is convince DVLA of this...

 

arse 

when you contacted the DVLA again quoting the NOVA reference was that in written form or over the phone?

if its over the phone, I wonder if it might be worth calling again and hoping you get ahold of someone else that actually has a brain and not just bunch of transistor logic gates masquerading as one?

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Just now, LightBulbFun said:

arse 

when you contacted the DVLA again quoting the NOVA reference was that in written form or over the phone?

if its over the phone, I wonder if it might be worth calling again and hoping you get ahold of someone else that actually has a brain and not just bunch of transistor logic gates masquerading as one?

 

I was on the phone; she seemed quite sane, but she said that they get the NOVA details from HMRC's computer system and don't normally look at paper sources. The chap at HMRC said that this does happen, usually because numbnuts at DVLA has typed the frame number in wrong 🤣 He said if I go back to them and tell them HMRC have confirmed that it's 'live and secure' on their system it's usually confirmed the second time.

 

All the paperwork is on its way back to me again - I think I'll stick a photocopy of the NOVA cert in when I send it all back again. Can't hurt.

 

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There's more - this morning I received the Velosolex's paperwork back in the post. Turns out it was that they were on about the other day and not the Tula 🙄  hopefully this will be easily remedied - contrary to what I was told yesterday, the record *is* there, it just doesn't show the model number. A quick web chat with HMRC, followed up by an email and that will be taken care of. Then it's just a case of resubmitting the paperwork, and waiting. Again...

 

But what about the Tula, I hear you cry?

 

tula.thumb.jpeg.1a57b16201fbe75230f8c9332831b505.jpeg

 

:D

 

 

 

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43 minutes ago, strangeangel said:

There's more - this morning I received the Velosolex's paperwork back in the post. Turns out it was that they were on about the other day and not the Tula 🙄  hopefully this will be easily remedied - contrary to what I was told yesterday, the record *is* there, it just doesn't show the model number. A quick web chat with HMRC, followed up by an email and that will be taken care of. Then it's just a case of resubmitting the paperwork, and waiting. Again...

 

But what about the Tula, I hear you cry?

 

tula.thumb.jpeg.1a57b16201fbe75230f8c9332831b505.jpeg

 

:D

Woo!

very happy to see the Tula is road registered finally :) 

VL is a Lincoln registration marker, and not a bad age related plate, as by 1962, most locations would be on their final reverse registration marks xxxV xxxW xxxX xxxY 

registrations where almost always issued in alphabetical order, so in this markers case AVLxxx was first issued in Dec 1938 then when that hit AVL999 they would they moved onto BVLxxx and so on until July 1964 when XVLxxx was issued then they switched to suffix plates, so never used the reverse marks for this particular location marker, so the DVLA have obviously used them as age related marks

(whether or not you used em all up was down to how many location markers you had for a particular area with how many vehicle registrations where happening, so if you had lots of markers but relatively few cars being registered then you might not actually have ran out by the time suffix plates became a thing, which is where the DVLA get age related plates from these days, and as mentioned before some remote scottish locations never even ran out of their original 2 letter 4 number 1904 allocations!)

so 783XVL does not look out of place at all :) (and its not immediately obvious,  like some of the unused Scottish marks are either, as just above VL just never got issued in reverse format they got up to XVLxxx in July 1964, then switched to AVLxxxB in Dec 1964)

it was also interesting as I could use it to see how far behind the first party DVLA checker is from actual issue of a V5/plate and it looks like its about a day behind the latest to show up currently is 778XVL

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7 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

it was also interesting as I could use it to see how far behind the first party DVLA checker is from actual issue of a V5/plate and it looks like its about a day behind the latest to show up currently is 778XVL

 

 

The paperwork hasn't arrived yet, I rang them earlier and they said it's number was only issued today, so yeah, it might appear tomorrow?

 

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15 minutes ago, strangeangel said:

 

The paperwork hasn't arrived yet, I rang them earlier and they said it's number was issued today, so yeah, it might appear tomorrow?

 

Yeah I was wondering how you knew the registration mark before the V5 even showed up LOL, I just assumed you had contacted them or they contacted you and told you :)

and yeah ill keep an eye on it!, im curious to see what it shows up as on the DVLA as, its not every day a Tula gets registered in the UK i dont think :) 

once your satisfied everything is in order, will you be able to do a write up on how you went about getting it registered etc? obviously you have managed to get it dated to the DVLA's standards etc :) 

 

so what sort of number plate will you be fitting? :)

or are you going to ride it to the FoD like that? :mrgreen: (like a soviet version of how @Six-cylinder's 125cc field bike arrived LOL)

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1 hour ago, LightBulbFun said:

so what sort of number plate will you be fitting? :)

or are you going to ride it to the FoD like that? :mrgreen: (like a soviet version of how @Six-cylinder's 125cc field bike arrived LOL)

 

Because I'm too mean to pay £££ for a fancy black plate, and my first attempt came out OK it'll be getting a homebrew effort like the Trail 90's

 

plate2.jpeg

 

I'll buy a smaller bit of ali plate this time, because the Tula only needs 6 digits.

 

 

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14 minutes ago, strangeangel said:

 

Because I'm too mean to pay £££ for a fancy black plate, and my first attempt came out OK it'll be getting a homebrew effort like the Trail 90's

 

plate2.jpeg

 

I'll buy a smaller bit of ali plate this time, because the Tula only needs 6 digits.

 

ah yeah I remember that one, I think it looks/works well :) 

it reminds me of the number plates on Routemaster/London Transport buses and thats always a good thing in my book

(a lot of the time they where simply transfers/paint on a black background or section of body work etc :))

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1 hour ago, strangeangel said:

It's the DVLA innit... they were never going to get this 100% right:

 

tula.png.3f0512379af54e7aa10f13e473e70f74.png

 

Oh well... when it seemed for a time that this would be unregisterable and at best would end up wearing a Q registration I'll take that.

 

ah yeah I feared something like that might happen

from discussion on my thread about this common DVLA error it seems to originate from the fact the DVLA data entry clerks dont know how to read their own forms etc or enter the data from said forms into the correct boxes on their computer

but out of curiosity do you remember how you filled the Manufacturer, Make, and Model bit out on the V55/5? I always found that bit interesting as a V5 only has Make, Type, variant, and Version, it does not have Manufacturer or Model in its list of data points, so im curious to know how the Manufacturer Make and Model  on the V55/5 line up with the Make, Type, Variant and Version on the V5 LOL, and it might help us figure out the above common DVLA error of the Model info getting included on the same line/box as the make info, and how to avoid it etc 

 

 (currently the way I I think I would do it is just fill in the manufacturer or make box and leave the other 2 blank, so they cant fluff it up!)

 

but yeah happy to see its on the DVLA after all the work that went into it! hopefully the logbook will be with you soon :) 

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10 hours ago, LightBulbFun said:

but out of curiosity do you remember how you filled the Manufacturer, Make, and Model bit out on the V55/5? I always found that bit interesting as a V5 only has Make, Type, variant, and Version, it does not have Manufacturer or Model in its list of data points, so im curious to know how the Manufacturer Make and Model  on the V55/5 line up with the Make, Type, Variant and Version on the V5 LOL, and it might help us figure out the above common DVLA error of the Model info getting included on the same line/box as the make info, and how to avoid it etc 

 

 

That's an easy one as I keep copies! I put Tula for Manufacturer, and 200M for Model. On two separate lines, so even if they don't exactly correspond with THE COMPUTER THAT MUST BE OBEYED you'd think they could manage not to type both things into the same box...

 

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46 minutes ago, strangeangel said:

 

That's an easy one as I keep copies! I put Tula for Manufacturer, and 200M for Model. On two separate lines, so even if they don't exactly correspond with THE COMPUTER THAT MUST BE OBEYED you'd think they could manage not to type both things into the same box...

interesting!

if you ever get another vehicle which you have to register yourself like the Tula (which knowing autoshite you will :mrgreen: ) 

it would be interesting to see what result you would get if you put the info in Make and Model (leaving manufacturer blank) instead

 

on a separate note, I have wondered if you can ever correct these mistakes as I noticed while the V5 has on it ways to change things like colour and engine number etc

theres no way to change the Make or Model info, probably a call the DVLA job I imagine?

 

32 minutes ago, strangeangel said:

I suppose, thinking on, that I should have just left Model blank, as this has caused me a problem with the Velosolex also... most bike logbooks only show the manufacturer's name anyway.

yeah as in my post above thats what id probably do if I was doing one of these :)  (at least until I figured out how I could reliably get them to put the model info in the right section!)

and having no Model info is probably how they where registered back in the day anyhow :) (I noticed back then it was only really private cars that had any sort of Model info recorded on them, most everything else just had make recorded and thats it)

as the old V5's had a Model section but it was also the Type section so also included the wheel plan and body type

so for example my car was make: INVACAR Model/Type: 3-WHEEL INVALID VEHICLE

Image from iOS (91).png

it was only in later V5's did the wheel plan and body type get split into their own lines, leaving the Model section blank (it will be interesting to see how the Tula's V5 actually looks compared to how it is on the DVLA checker)

image.png

(also my bad there is a model entry on the V5 its just buried down the ways, but still no "Manufacturer" line like there is on the V55/5)

 

so something like your Tula would have been registered as Make: Tula Model/Type 2-WHEEL SCOOTER

as seen here on the old Heinkel scooter V5 in this post :)

https://autoshite.com/topic/32723-invacar-model-70-acquired-general-ramble-thread-index-on-page-1-model-70-survivors-list-on-page-24-pre-model-70-ac-and-invacar-survivors-lists-added-on-page-135/?do=findComment&comment=2117458

 

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Have to say I do find your on-going research into the weird and wonderful workings of the DVLA fascinating  👍  From that point of view it'll be interesting to see what they do with the Velosolex's V5c as they were picky enough to query the NOVA declaration over that very detail.

 

Am I planning to do another one? Well, of course, but the next Russian heap I buy will have documents - lesson learned - and I am actively trying to buy one of the Tula's close relatives as I type this. They are more numerous here than the scooters themselves, but very cool all the same. More soon, fingers crossed!

 

The big problem with Iron Curtain junk is that - unlike just about everyone else - none of the Soviet factories ever released any production records, and consequently even a dating certificate from the redoubtable Cossack Owners' Club (and they have been brilliant*) counts for little unless supported by original documents or a letter from a museum etc. I don't want to say how I did it on an open forum, but suffice it to say that I'd think long and hard about another Soviet wreck were it not accompanied by papers.

 

 

*their magazine - Horizontal View - is ace, and well worth the price of admission alone.

 

 

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Thanks Im glad someone is finding it interesting! I often worry it can get a bit rambley/confusing LOL

but yeah its an off shoot of the whole Invacar thing, as a lot of Invacars have been "tangled up" in DVLA  fuckery for lack of a better term LOL

so I had research how it all worked for the invacars, and I found it quite fascinating in its own right so iv constantly researching it since, and its come in quite handy on several occasions! 

(especially as like well Invacars most people dont really know that much about the DVLA and there is not really that much info out there on the DVLA especially how things worked historically, and when asked questions relating to the DVLA  most people just shrug their shoulders and go "its the DVLA dont try and make sense of it" LOL, so I find it all the more fascinating)

 

I look forward to seeing what next it is you get :) 

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  • strangeangel changed the title to Strangeangel's Citroënic Shenanigans (featuring the Autoshite BX, Ami Break and some bikes) 10/10 An 'easy' job...

Didn't fancy doing battle with the C1 again today, so I actually had the morning off from 'shiting and decided I'd do a straightforward* job in the afternoon. I've had all the goodies to re-upholster and re-cover the Ami's ragged seats for a while now... what a nice, simple task for a sunny afternoon!

 

I carefully took everything apart, taking photos at every step, boxed all the rubber donuts and the various rods and clips employed. Only when I came to lift away the remains of the foam and covers did I see this:

 

broken.thumb.jpg.6b068d5e9f03c45396639c1e18f2113f.jpg

 

What you're looking at there is the bench seat's centre upright, which has snapped off and been snot welded back together at some point. The bit of stainless tubing is an unsuccessful attempt at coring the upright. I will have to find an off-cut of mild steel tubing 19mm O/D which will fit a bit better and then get it all welded up. After taking this photo, I discovered a cracked weld on the passenger side of the frame. Nothing too serious, then, but it's going to slow things up as I'll have to get someone else to do the repairs - I only have an old ass arc welder which would blow dirty great holes in this.

 

So much for an easy job, eh? 🙄

 

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  • strangeangel changed the title to Strangeangel's Citroënic Shenanigans (featuring the Autoshite BX, Ami Break and some bikes) 14/10 Shit don't fit.

I've a feeling in my water that the hideous rumbling from the OSF when I turn left means one of the BX's wheel bearings is about to shit itself. Best crack on with this Ami seat repair/reupholster then eh? I needed a bit of tubing, of 19mm O/D to core the snapped seat upright, but where would I find such a thing? Why, Castle_Cleland of course! @KruJoe to the rescue. It was a nadgers too tight, but shaving off the paint with the trusty grinder did the job. Weldage followed and lo, we have a seat frame full of integral strength again. Nice one.

 

repair.thumb.jpeg.4a81e2d177da4aa10e6fc76e31f7c815.jpeg

 

So far so good. First job was to fit the spring bits of hessian that the foam sits on. Wait one fucking minute...

 

bollox.thumb.jpeg.7f2e94ae0f67c345019f3977d23eaac6.jpeg

 

The original one is below. Bastard. These were the only bit of the whole pile of stuff that didn't come from Der Franzose. It was a UK supplier I've never used before (and can't find the invoice from, annoyingly) who swore blind 2CV ones were the same as those used in the Ami. I did ask him if he wanted to check, do you know what he said? "It's fine mate, when you've been working with these cars as long as I have you just get to know". It's a good job he's not anywhere near now, or else he'd be getting these inserted sideways, the twat.

 

So that's the job bolloxed for today at least, but I still need a working car. Time to break out the bungee cords and garage ex-sofa kneeling cushions then.

 

cords.thumb.jpeg.3b24399edab7d7a26ee297bd1b92e6bd.jpeg

 

It's actually surprisingly comfortable 🤣

 

cushions.thumb.jpeg.6e54b69fb06724c80c0b8f3c27b21bba.jpeg

 

I might be better off trying to get someone to copy those hessian things...

 

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Bit of progress today; not a lot as I seem to have spent a lot of time thinking in an attempt to avoid screwing up.

 

bridge.thumb.jpg.29bdf93b051d97edff627a8b10a8c865.jpg

 

Still, the newly-drilled out fork bridge is reinstalled, complete with new steering head bearings. No more up and down play at the end of the handlebars! The bearing seat wasn't as bad as I first thought, but it got a smear of Bearing Fit anyway. New fork seals are installed too, the forks now just need re-filling, re-assembling and bolting back on (hopefully tomorrow).

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I fitted the (£80-worth!) of centre stand cables, but I can't tick that job off yet because the clip that stops the cable ends popping out of the stand end is missing. BMW's spares operation is excellent though, all parts for these weird scooters are still available, and can be ordered through their car dealerships, removing the need to pay £12 postage on a £4 clip.

 

While I'm waiting for that to turn up, I decided to try and fix the top box. One of the locating lugs is broken off - TADTS - and the catch at the rear that locks it in place is toast. My first thought was to mount it permanently, then cut the bottom out to allow access to the battery compartment, finishing the job with a false floor. This idea was quickly binned as far too much like hard work!

 

Remember the totally wrong size bit of stainless rod that someone tried to cobble the Ami's seat frame with?

 

pipe.thumb.jpeg.3a1456ad10ce9c59b6bb133746630b12.jpeg

 

A tight-fitting hole was drilled and the pipe bashed in. It's stopped from moving any further by one of the box's rubber feet behind it; that, and Araldite, although it's in too tight to move anyway. A bit of re-profiling with a grinder and it fitted no problem.

 

Now for the catch: I gutted it and bolted the shell back to the bottom of the box. Two longer bolts (scrap Honda crankcase ones) meant that the box could now be bolted to the threaded holes in the frame. A bit of flat bar was added to spread the load...

 

bar.thumb.jpeg.35ab2e7578b5ef6244e08fbae8580b89.jpeg-

 

Much less effort, does the job and can be removed with 2 bolts if I need to get to the battery, change a bulb, etc.

 

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  • strangeangel changed the title to Strangeangel's Citroënic Shenanigans (featuring the Autoshite BX, Ami Break and some bikes) 19/11 DVLA come up with the goods (again!)
  • strangeangel changed the title to Strangeangel's Shite-tastic Shenanigans 12/12 NEW MOTOR - ACHIEVED.

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      2004 Ford Fiesta Zetec. AG53 BWL. My wife's car which I ran for a couple of years when I bought her a Focus as a wedding gift.

      2003 Rover 75 by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      2003 Rover 75 Club SE. AX53 BFA. This is where my career as a serial car buyer really began. Ignoring all of the warning signs I decided to press a K Series into a daily 100 mile commute, which it did with aplomb. This wasn't actually the car I set out to buy, the one I'd agreed to buy OVERHEATED ON THE FORECOURT whilst I was doing the paperwork. Consequently I couldn't leave fast enough and bought a different car later that day.

      2004 Toyota Avensis T30-X by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      2004 Toyota Avensis T3-X. KT53 DWZ. Sensible head back on, I decided to get back into something I trusted when my 3rd son was born. This was a lovely car, but not without its problems. The VVTi oil burning issues are well documented and do frequently occur. Ironically, this was less reliable than the Rover it replaced! Despite fearing the worst and 3 months off the road, the new owner has just MOTd it.

      1999 Toyota Avensis SR by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1999 Toyota Avensis SR. V263 GDP. Back into bangernomics territory again. The last MK1 Avensis I had was the best car I'd ever had, so I hoped to replicate it with another T22 Avensis. This one came up for sale in my favourite (and rare) colour with a numberplate sequential to my previous car - so it was meant to be. I still have this now, and tomorrow it will tick around to 185,000 miles having been bought by me at 100,500.

      Side Bitches

      1974 Morris Mini 1000 by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1974 Morris Mini 1000. GEL 517N. Well, I always wanted one - and was young, free, single and well off at the time (2003). A memorable trip to buy it when I called my new girlfriend by my ex girlfriend's name 20 miles into a 200 mile weekend away. She's never forgiven or forgotten but we're still friends. Oh - and married.

      1977 Ford Capri II GL by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1977 Ford Capri II 1600 GL. SMY 675R. I can't remember why I bought this, other than I thought it'd be amusing. It was bought from Norwich for £350 and was perfectly well behaved for the 8 months that I had it (other than a flasher unit expiring). I remember being shocked just how much the windscreen would ice up inside, and duly sold it in November to a guy who was going to drive it daily! It's still alive and now, apparently, black! (Update - it's now silver!!!)

      1989 Volvo 340 DL by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1989 Volvo 340 DL. G67 AVN. I bought this for £80. Unbelievable. It was utterly bloody perfect. I wanted to do a banger rally which is why the guy gave it to me so cheap. I'm still yet to do that rally, but no longer have the car. I sold it for about £300 to a family who were clearly down on their luck who, I hope, still have the car.

      1996 Toyota Granvia by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1996 Toyota Granvia. N775 JEV. My wife and I decided to increase our numbers further and, with our 4th son on the way, larger transport was required. We quickly realised you can either have 4 children and no apparel, or apparel and no children. After trying a very tired Mercedes Viano, the Granvia was found for 1/4 of the price and it's still here 2 years later. I can safely say that we'll never sell it - it really is another member of the family.

      1993 Mercedes 190e by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1993 Mercedes 190e. L795 COJ. I've admired these cars since I was a child. In fact, one of the very few toy cars I still have from my childhood is a Mercedes 190e. Regular readers of "Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder" will know what a PITA this car has been since day 1, but I get the feeling it's a keeper. We'll see!

      1983 Ford Sierra Base 1.6 by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1983 Ford Sierra Base. GVG 510Y. Not explicitly my car, but it should be documented here for reference. Oh - and the V5 is in my name. The story is online for all to read as to how five of us acquired what is believed to be the only remaining Ford Sierra Base. Make a brew and read it, it's a fantastic story.

      1982 Ford Sierra L by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1982 Ford Sierra L. LCR 503Y. I accidentally won this on ebay for £520. Upon reflection, I shouldn't have sold it - but short stop of saying I regret it. I could never get truly comfortable driving it and, in fairness, I could scratch my Sierra itch with the base if I wanted. Sold it at a stupid profit of £1250. It is believed to be the oldest remaining Ford Sierra in the UK.

      1979 Volvo 343 DL by Bornite Identity, on Flickr
      1979 Volvo 343 DL. DBY 466T As you'll see above, I'd had a 360GLT as a younger lad and fancied one of these earlier cars. The variomatic is, frankly, terrible but amusing. This car has just 8000 miles on the clock and inside was absolutely timewarp. Sadly, the huge bill for the Mercedes 190e cylinder head rebuild meant I had to sell this car shortly after acquiring it. Since then I've had a bit of money luck, and now realise I didn't need to sell it after all. Typical.

      I think that's it. My arthritis is playing up even more now. I've left out a few cars that were actually my wife's, but if I find pictures will add them in at a later date. I'll run this as an ongoing thread on cars and what's happening.

      Current SitRep:

      Purple Avensis: Just about to click over 185,000. Minor drama this week when an HT lead split but otherwise utterly fantastic, fantastically boring and boringly reliable.

      Granvia: Just done 1000 miles in a month around Norfolk, 6 up with suitcases. 31mpg achieved on the way up which is good for an old tub with a 3.0 Turbo Diesel on board. ODO displaying 175,000 which is a mix of miles and kilometers. Say 130,000 miles for argument's sake.

      Mercedes: Being a PITA. It's had the top end completely rebuilt after the chain came off. Now needs welding to pass another MOT and the gearbox bearings are on strike. It's about to go into the garage for winter until I can stomach it again. 151,000 miles on the clock.

      Sierra bASe: Still on sabbatical with AngryDicky who only took it bloody camping in cornwall! Legend.
    • By Crispian_J_Hotson
      Now in my mucky hands is this S Type Mondeo Lincoln. It's not like a Mondeo Lincoln  though, just uses some of the bits as it's from a time when jaguar was experiencing some 'technical' issues. 
      It has managed to hang onto the feel of a premium car but for the use of cost saving interior plastics made from the same gear that land Rover used in the discovery 2 of the same era, I know, I have one of those too! That has some BMW switches in it though.
       
      This jaag was cheap. Why did I buy it? All I wanted really was a small convertible for the summer to smoke around in, this is the polar opposite. 
      The price was good but these cars are without their expensive issues. I liked the body. It's virtually rust free, a freak of nature and it had a set of premium tyres on it which suggested it's had some money chucked at it.
       
      That's all I wanted really from it. The bolt on stuff and mechanicals are fairly easy to sort out, plus I can upgrade as I feel fit.
       
      Today I've been bonding with this machine. It's got to beat the 3 series I have as a good daily or it's out. It's going to be a tall order, the 318 is bionic!
       
      I have many miles to do in the next few months, I need a motorway cruiser auto. The odd jaunt for a few hundred miles is the 318's and my clutch legs limit!
       
      Now, this car has been owned previously by a few members on here, the work it requires is because it is a cheap car and 20 years old and has a jaguar badge on it. There are a few issues with it.
       
      As said, it has to be put into immediate service. I've owned it 2 days and it's already done over 300 miles, and will do all that again tomorrow! So let's get started!
       
      After about 100 miles yesterday, I reversed it for the first time in my ownership and when braking the noise was alarming! Had a look and the outer rear brake pad was metal on the disc. I only had another 60 miles to go!
      A phone call on the move saw a set in stock back home to be picked up. Sweet.
       
      That was yesterday, I've got a day now to change the rear pads and sort out the dropped headlamps with a couple of screws... A couple of hours it'll be Sorted... He says...
       
      WIND BACK CALIPERS! Yes, they are. My special tool? Sorry? What? No tool?
      Well, I cobbled together a bar and a pair of molies but Christ, that was messing about! I wanted to secure the caliper to the mounting to hold it still but the sliders internal thread was cross threaded on both sliders, so I had to tap them out first. It worked but not without a fight. Then my neighbour came over to have a nose at the new aquisition... Him: Morning, how you getting on"?, Me: "Shit, you haven't got a brake caliper tool have you"? Him: "Yeah, I'll go get it". 
       
      LIFESAVER!!!
       

       
      Sticky slider syndrome ^
       

       
      Fully padded up ^
       
      I took a look around under there, it's nearly all shot. Most ball joints are exposed to the elements so all need replacing but not before a decent jet wash.
       

       

       
      There's little play in the joints so all that goes on the list of parts and graft! Wheels on, I loosened and torqued all the wheel nuts around the car and done the Tyre pressures, we were running soft all round.
       
      Next was the front lights. A screw mod can be done but I took the back off the units and they were, well toast. Nothing much holding the inner lenses still at all. There was only one thing for it...
       

       
      I had readied myself for this. I got hold of a replacement lamp mounting kit with all parts made from nylon. This involved dissecting the lamp which was tough! The mounts that came out, or what was left of them were weaker than Jacobs crackers and just crumbled. To get the bumper off, the plastic under tray bolts were all seized so I had to grind them off. More knackered parts were seen. The auto box cooler has shed most of it's cooling fins, the radiator is sweating and the power steering is hemorrhaging fluid on full lock. There's also a coolant leak at the thermostat housing and there's a high pitch whine at 1000 RPM which turns out to be the alternator. More for the list.
      Still, back to the lights. I need to be able to see tonight so I took a level off the tourings lights and marked on to a wheely bin, these are pretty spot on. Then I can use the bin for the Jaags lights and I won't be far off 
       

       
      Going back together nicely it was a good time to run some tcut over the faded lenses. They need a more intense compound and a machine but will do for now.
       

       
      Looks smart yo!
       
      Then it got dark...
       

       
      I then drove 120 miles in it and drove it like it was stolen. It had it, all of it! Slight brake judder at 90 and I couldn't get the alignment done as I had no time (see above pics)
       
      So now we have to price up priorities like the knackered joints on the rear and a full service, two Goodyears and investigate the power steering leak which, I'll hazard a guess at the rack seals are fubard. 
       
      So in summary, I got a bargain barge that has it's fair share of issues, the interior quality is a bit shocking in places but when the hammer is down, none of this matters! It fits in, it can be a proper giffer cruiser with radio two on at 30mph but it'll turn into a bruiser with some oldskool hardcore at a tonne. It's come to a good home.
    • By Tickman
      First some background:
      I was brought up with no car interest, a car was transport and nothing more which resulted in a selection of poor cheap cars being the cars of my youth.
       
      Fast forward many years (just over 9 years ago) and I have a wonderful* Vauxhall Vectra estate to carry us about. Unfortunately it is crap and throws fault codes at us with nothing being there when it is checked (even at Vauxhall)
       
      As Mrs T is the main pilot of this chariot with the two little miss T's on board, it has to go.
      The hunt is on for the new steed to safely and comfortably carry the family around. I have a company car at the time so big journeys are not an issue.
       
      ebay is my weapon of choice to find the new family car. It has to be good value cheap for no other reason than I am tight.
       
      Weeks of research with lots of cars that are too expensive and too far away for easy collection end up in my watch list.
      Finally a possible is spotted in Fife. I go and have a look and find a poor looking but solid car. One previous owner and lots of history.
       
      The auction was to end on the Saturday at midday, we were going to be out! I decided on how much I was willing to gamble on it and on the Saturday morning I put in my max bid but straight away it went to my max bid, I was winning but it had three hours to go with no room for me to go up! We went out anyway.
       
      I spent the next three hours kicking myself for not bidding more while we were out as it was the first car I had seen that fitted my criteria. Fate was in charge.

      On returning home I go straight on ebay to find 'Congratulations.............'
      For the grand total of £500 I had just won this fine vehicle!
       

       
      It has 5 months MOT and after fitting seat belts in the rear for the girls car seats it is pushed into daily service.
      My gamble and subsequent use results in a perfectly reliable car that actually does what it is supposed to do.
       
      Even more importantly Mrs T loves it so a win all round.
       
      All my cars have names (most are earned over a bit of time) and this one is called 'Gwendolen' ( G reg car and from Wales originally. I hate the name but I am not going to argue)
       
      That sums up part one, more will be along later (probably much later)
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