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The Autoshite Bodge thread


fatharris

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I bought a Sierra as a donor for a kit car years back, the sills and bulkhead had been repaired using plastic milk bottles and filler. One bit still had the label on with the date, it looked like it had made it through three mots like that.

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I may have been involved in Saab 99 rear suspension alignment with pull lifts and a strop around the gear box, see also Volvo 145 rear suspension height adjustment using wooden block  shims, both just before auction. Both sold to notorious  noted local trader. I'm sure I've forgotten plenty more.

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Fucking bodges? I am the KING of bodgers! :)

 

Lost the nut that went on the end of an engine mounting bolt (about 12-18 inches long) for the front of a Kawasaki Z1000 and was due to go for a thrash to Cadwell the next day.... hose clamp round the end stopped that dropping out. On the way there that is, dropped off somewhere on the way back so I just had to keep pushing it back in with my foot as I was riding along. Handled very oddly.

 

Converted a Renault Fuego 2.0 engine to fit in a Citroen CX... few bits of casting in the way? Angle grinder, no worries! :)

 

Made a MK2 Granada into a convertible one Sunday morning with an angle grinder and half an hour with a mig - left the drivers door alone so you could get in and out without bother....

 

Body repairs using a 'Datsun jig' and a length of chain.

 

Clutch repairs with a bottle of Coke and some flour (self raising I think). Several times.

 

Repaired door locks by taking 90% of the pins out of the lock barrel so any key will open them.

 

Exhaust made out of scaffold tube.

 

My proudest moment was with a Yugo 45 that had been in an accident and there was damage to the suspension/drive shaft. I repaired it with an angle grinder and a welder - even the joint on the end of the driveshaft with three spinny round things on it.

 

Once welded two track rod ends together (one was the correct fitting but too short the other was longer and fitted the rack but the ball joint was fucked) to make one good one... actually made two good ones and they lasted ages before my mate could get the proper ones (classic Rover P5B).

 

Once upon a time, there was a couple of Z650 frames one of which was not entirely legal but had rear disc so the two frames got 'joined' to make a legal one with all the good bits...

 

had a gearbox where a cog had got the hump and spat itself out of the case, new cog (God, the expense!) but the case got a pop riveted plate on covered in Araldite both sides.

 

Patches on sills/floors made out of silver foil and and underseal (my StepDad taught me that one!).

 

All of the above before I was 20. Then I got really creative....

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Fucking bodges? I am the KING of bodgers! :)

 

Lost the nut that went on the end of an engine mounting bolt (about 12-18 inches long) for the front of a Kawasaki Z1000 and was due to go for a thrash to Cadwell the next day.... hose clamp round the end stopped that dropping out. On the way there that is, dropped off somewhere on the way back so I just had to keep pushing it back in with my foot as I was riding along. Handled very oddly.

 

Converted a Renault Fuego 2.0 engine to fit in a Citroen CX... few bits of casting in the way? Angle grinder, no worries! :)

 

Made a MK2 Granada into a convertible one Sunday morning with an angle grinder and half an hour with a mig - left the drivers door alone so you could get in and out without bother....

 

Body repairs using a 'Datsun jig' and a length of chain.

 

Clutch repairs with a bottle of Coke and some flour (self raising I think). Several times.

 

Repaired door locks by taking 90% of the pins out of the lock barrel so any key will open them.

 

Exhaust made out of scaffold tube.

 

My proudest moment was with a Yugo 45 that had been in an accident and there was damage to the suspension/drive shaft. I repaired it with an angle grinder and a welder - even the joint on the end of the driveshaft with three spinny round things on it.

 

Once welded two track rod ends together (one was the correct fitting but too short the other was longer and fitted the rack but the ball joint was fucked) to make one good one... actually made two good ones and they lasted ages before my mate could get the proper ones (classic Rover P5B).

 

Once upon a time, there was a couple of Z650 frames one of which was not entirely legal but had rear disc so the two frames got 'joined' to make a legal one with all the good bits...

 

had a gearbox where a cog had got the hump and spat itself out of the case, new cog (God, the expense!) but the case got a pop riveted plate on covered in Araldite both sides.

 

Patches on sills/floors made out of silver foil and and underseal (my StepDad taught me that one!).

 

All of the above before I was 20. Then I got really creative....

added to the list of members not to buy a car off...........
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Coke  and flour into the bellhousing will keep a car with next to zero clutch left going for at least one more race - 3 series BMWs a speciality! Seriously it does work. Just Coke at a push will do but better with flour.

 

Obviously has to be homepride... I think it's all the little blokes holding hands or something!

 

Incidentally, I have changed my ways considerably over the years. I don't do bodges at all any more and haven't for years... at least 16. But, ask me again when I get the next big bill from the dollop and I am officially skint and the Mazda needs something... I once re-cut the tread on the back tyre of a 900 Honda with a soldering iron. The amount of time it took, I could have gone to work and earned enough for a NEW tyre, but where's the fun in that?

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Was driving from Gosport to Bristol to visit my mum in a Wolseley 16/60, and at Fareham (ie about 6 miles into it) the throttle cable snapped. I had a replacement back at home but instead got a bit of wire and lead it into the engine bay via the quarterlight and the bonnet gap onto the throttle. Wrapped the end round a spanner and drove it like that.

Then drove it back after the weekend and carried on like that for a couple of weeks

 

Also on the bike front, had an exhaust head bolt shear on my CB750, tried an easyout to no avail so ended up drilling a hole, grinding a taper on a bolt and aralditing it in. Worked (for a while)

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Guest bangerfan101

I had an engine mount snap on me on a 6n polo after bouncing it over one too many speed bumps enroute to work and back in Normanton West Yorkshire. I lifted it back up with the twirly jack out of the boot so it wasn't hitting the chassis. Then used the belt from round my waist to hold the 2 halves of Mount together and drive it back home down m62 m1 back to Barnsley. Job jobbed

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