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My Photographed Chod (updated 5th August with American Car Show akshun)


rantingYoof

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I've not really given much to this forum at all and, weirdly, I felt it's given me so much already just in pure entertainment and also I've shamelessly borrowed the good feelings experienced by others as they proudly tow a mangled heap of shite two hundred miles across the country to stop a scrappy claiming another victim.

 

So I had a little trudge through my photos and realise that over the years I've photographed many vehicles that may be appreciated by people with like minded tastes to myself (at the time I didn't know such people existed).

 

Now guess what?! Yes! You get the share the underwhelming experience of trudging through the photographs I've specially selected as being suitable for this place.

 

A lot of these photos were taken on the various potatos I've had the joy of calling my mobile phone over the last so many years. A handful of them were taken on a "profeshunnal" camera and then merrily fucked six ways from Sunday using various bits of software.

 

I went through the usual phase of enjoying wildly HDRed quasi-rendered effects and you now get to experience this too. How special you must feel.

 

I'll shut up before I admit that I still do like a few of the OTT HDR-style effects I've lambasted on these...oh well fuck it.

 

In no particular order whatsoever...and I'll actually start off with something I didn't photograph at all BUT I FUCKING LOVE SO SHUT UP...

Weilerswist%202_zpsfn34ybzn.jpg

Weilerswist%201_zpsik5tbh7j.jpg

 

Okay, all of THESE were photographed by me now...promise.

Ford512ciHDR-HighRes_zpss1hzjrqs.jpg

LotusCortina-HDR_zpsdbvm5sms.jpg

eTypePose-HDR_zpsdvcrzjsa.jpg

JaguarXJS_zpsstbh0p9y.jpg

Volvo850Pickup2_zpsbb44poul.jpg

Volvo850Pickup1_zpsf5vqcsrd.jpg

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This pulled up next to me as I was filling up my 9000. The owner confessed that it was remapped to 340hp at the wheels and was "utterly, completely fucking undriveable". It made a hella nice noise though.

StealthSaab_zpsdcv8jgqk.jpg

 

This was dead at a local car dealers a long time ago...poor thing. It was a turbo, too.

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Countach2_zpsvyriggy8.jpg

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AstraGTE_zps1rfxj7l0.jpg

 

I could have openly fapped to this. Quite easily. In the middle of Coventry.

Citroen%20CX24%202_zpsrmzhfkyg.jpg

Citroen%20CX24%20-%20Arty%20Farty%20Shot

Citroen%20CX24%201_zpslwasfw4s.jpg

 

This was a 216SE, motherfucker.

Rover%20216SE_zpsvo45hnwe.jpg

 

A%20Car_zpsjowsnuxc.jpg

Mini_zpsdhtkkrdu.jpg

Range%20Rover_zpsgq5be4nu.jpg

Chevrolet_zpsx4r8d2ut.jpg

 

Do not ask me how I got Ferrari red to look this radioactive. Serious fondling of the Adobe sliders was involved.

Ferrari238GTS-1_zpshs3iaikb.jpg

 

Have an incredibly washed out Aston Martin to compensate...

AstonMartinVantage_zpsiu9igdph.jpg

 

Mercedes300SL_zpsrmf7arbi.jpg

 

Nope, I don't know either.

TheHellIsThis_zpszwskgwra.jpg

 

I gots in the local rag with this photograph...

HudsonHornetHighRes_zpsrld4u5sh.jpg

 

Rover 414 in absolutely mint condition, in the right colour and everyfink.

ShineyRover414_zpsc6c0i6qi.jpg

 

HEY GUISE THIS IS A FERRARI PROMISE

P15-10-11_20-343_zpsgkvkas4q.jpg

 

LanciaX-3_zpsq2inza0n.jpg

 

THE NOISE THIS MADE MY GOD

LanciaX-1_zpsnxwivmc0.jpg

LanciaX-2_zpshlkgwdm1.jpg

 

Renault25_zpsssdvpn6f.jpg

 

Best be a 3.0TiD in there...

P27-08-11_13-51_zpsqwc6egvo.jpg

 

VwEstateThing_zpsnbhsaibm.jpg

VwEstateThing3_zpszdrqwmkp.jpg

 

This was for sale for AGES - went into limp home mode straight away. Bit of rust on arches but otherwise very nice 460 IIRC.

CheapMercBarge_zpsw8honaev.jpg

 

Diplomat spec on an L plate - very rare.

CarltonDiplomat3_zpsaekgtulk.jpg

CarltonDiplomat2_zpshpapqqhg.jpg

CarltonDiplomat1_zpsrolcu5i0.jpg

 

Love the flat arches.

CarltonDiplomat4_zpstt67owjs.jpg

 

 

If I stumble across any more I'll share them. That's a threat, right there.

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Another vote for the Hudson shot.....LOL at that hot rod thing, looks like Stephenson's Rocket from a desolate theme park on the outskirts of Blackpool - Tinker Tommy's World of Steam or summat.   Mind you at least it doesn't appear to have messed up anything useable - unlike the stubble-chin beanie hatter who slammed the Variant.... 

 

Volumex makes up for it though!

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Weird modernish chod.

 

RandomCar-WhatIsIt2_zps17c56d89.jpg

RandomCar-WhatIsIt_zpse410cfd2.jpg

 

Ultra-fucking-rare not-chod-at-all.

 

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Wikipedia says...

 

 

 

As it remains a single produced vehicle, under low volume criteria such as used by the Koenigsegg CCR, the Aspira F620 has been described as the most exclusive supercar in the world today.

 

The house it was parked outside was worth less. And it was a nice house.

 

Funky1_zps64dd9488-1_zpsa7d7d68d.jpg

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HAVE YOU SCENE MY HONDA?

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The guy stopped to pose next to the car. I thought he owned it. He didn't.
IMG_20120819_130508_zps759d1d12.jpg

IMG_20120819_130454_zps438ef8be.jpg

 

Mercedeseseseseses.

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VILE!

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POTATOVISION

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I've been told there are around three or four 03 plated Avantimes in existence...

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Abandonment. Photographed in late 2009 when I was taking MrsYoof to have her wedding dress fitted.

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Rover2500V8-1.jpg

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TAXI TO THE KERB

WhatKerb.jpg

 

I maded this to bait a repetetive troll on an Internet forum.

error404Over.jpg

 

Plz don't hate.

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I see a picture of Coventry (Lanchester) Polytechnic, where many a happy hour I spent in the mandela bar, smashing plastic glasses on my forehead. And a picture of the Cathedral, upon which I managed to fly numerous paper gliders, from the 19th floor of G block where my mate had his room. (Mine was on the 5th floor and looked straight into the mandela bar)

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  • 2 weeks later...

A few years ago I went to Lamport Railway's Classical Gathering. Lots of cars that appeared to have been lovingly stored, never wanted for anything, in superb condition. Most of these cars are more desirable to this place if they were found under a tarpaulin on a sink estate somewhere, with Japanese Knotweed growing out of the cills.

 

I thought I'd share anyway. I've literally been to dozens of shows and taken hundreds of photographs which I've basically never shared with anybody. So, because you accidentally showed an interest above, I'm basically assuming you want to see them all.
 

DSC_3997_zpss6ax6oq5.jpg

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DSC_3971_zpsl6q1buoy.jpg

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DSC_3962_zps1lyunuso.jpg

DSC_3961_zpsd4a0kkbp.jpg

DSC_3960_zpsgxtyicco.jpg

DSC_3955_zpsc5xwopab.jpg

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  • 3 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Doing visits today and the "low oil level" light in the S60 of Knob came on. I parked it up and let it cool for the afternoon, and then spent 30 minutes using various paper towels and removing/replacing the dipstick while giving it a top up.

 

As a strange orb appeared in the sky, appearing to warm everything up momentarily, I felt quite pleased. Then I heard a rumble. Reverberating through the tarmac, it was.

 

As I began collating the numerous oily towels, I glanced up to behold the magnificent beast below pulling into the space-but-one to me...

 

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Proper used, it was, like it should be. That 'zorst looked basically like someone had stolen the business end of a serious wood-burning stove, and it sounded brilliantly agricultural.

 

I may be in the minority here when I express positive feelings for a - spit - modern, but I think that the S60 is quite smart-looking and a bit nicer on the eye than a 3er or C-Class of the same era.

 

post-19970-0-17568200-1466195802_thumb.jpg

 

However, it did dawn on me that the shape of the SD1 really does still put it to shame, to some degree at least. It's also about the same size as my knob-mobile, although when regarding both of them I felt distinctly confident considering who would come off best in a head-on...

 

A nice way to finish the working Friday, I thought.

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  • 3 months later...

A couple of finds from walking around Bury St Edmunds. Unfortunately the G-plated gold Nissan Micra, crusty on each corner and driven by a lady who surely must have purchased it 26 years previously as a retirement car and is still running it escaped down a side street.

 

But I found this SATURN, which looked suitably shite...and I happily know absolutely nothing about it (as I've not even done a DVLA check on this yet)...

post-19970-0-31297300-1474636743_thumb.jpg

 

And then a full-fat SE Lux specced S80 T6, just to make WilsonSquared turn pale and start mumbling. This is a turbocharged 2.9 straight six (?) with 265hp through the front wheels and a five speed slushbox. This one seemed to have the rise-from-the-ashes Sat Nav system, parking sensors, the whole lot...

post-19970-0-65571500-1474636459_thumb.jpg

 

 

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