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Tickman's stuff. VAG shite


Tickman

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First some background:
I was brought up with no car interest, a car was transport and nothing more which resulted in a selection of poor cheap cars being the cars of my youth.
 
Fast forward many years (just over 9 years ago) and I have a wonderful* Vauxhall Vectra estate to carry us about. Unfortunately it is crap and throws fault codes at us with nothing being there when it is checked (even at Vauxhall)
 
As Mrs T is the main pilot of this chariot with the two little miss T's on board, it has to go.
The hunt is on for the new steed to safely and comfortably carry the family around. I have a company car at the time so big journeys are not an issue.
 
ebay is my weapon of choice to find the new family car. It has to be good value cheap for no other reason than I am tight.
 
Weeks of research with lots of cars that are too expensive and too far away for easy collection end up in my watch list.
Finally a possible is spotted in Fife. I go and have a look and find a poor looking but solid car. One previous owner and lots of history.
 
The auction was to end on the Saturday at midday, we were going to be out! I decided on how much I was willing to gamble on it and on the Saturday morning I put in my max bid but straight away it went to my max bid, I was winning but it had three hours to go with no room for me to go up! We went out anyway.
 
I spent the next three hours kicking myself for not bidding more while we were out as it was the first car I had seen that fitted my criteria. Fate was in charge.

On returning home I go straight on ebay to find 'Congratulations.............'
For the grand total of £500 I had just won this fine vehicle!
 
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It has 5 months MOT and after fitting seat belts in the rear for the girls car seats it is pushed into daily service.
My gamble and subsequent use results in a perfectly reliable car that actually does what it is supposed to do.
 
Even more importantly Mrs T loves it so a win all round.
 
All my cars have names (most are earned over a bit of time) and this one is called 'Gwendolen' ( G reg car and from Wales originally. I hate the name but I am not going to argue)
 
That sums up part one, more will be along later (probably much later)

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Following a change in jobs which was prompted by the financial director being a deceitful embezzling arse I was given the opportunity to drive a fantastic* Escort diesel van for work instead of my comfortable Peugeot 406 estate. Luckily I was only out of work for about 18 hours, very lucky!

 

 

This presented the small issue of having a wife two small girls and two dogs to get down to Manchester on a regular basis to visit family.

 

This was just a chance to experience more motor vehicles.

 

 

These are just the 'dailys' though, there are others that will be introduced soon*

 

 

 

I will call this phase the 'buying shit cars that are disposable phase'

 

 

First up was possibly a Volvo S70 which had the 5 pot petrol engine. This was a fantastic car. It had every extra, even heated seats in the back. Cost me £700 with 12 months MOT and all I did was change the thermostat and top up the power steering fluid once. I also did oil and filter changes but I am not counting them as all cars should have them done.

 

I kept this for 12 months and put it in for an MOT which it failed and needed the £600 quote to pass. I put on two spare wheels I had for the low tread tyres and changed the bottom ball joint outside the garage that had done the MOT. Total cost £50 and now a Pass. Sold it for £580 which I was happy with for 12 months motoring.

 

 

Next up was 'economy drive' so I bought the worst Audi A4 Avant tdi on the planet. It was disgusting inside and out but did excellent mpg and fitted everything we needed in. I did very little to this and sold it on within 12 months to some young lad who had a mate that gave it the nod. Probably cost about £300 to run for the year.

 

 

Next was a Vauxhall Astra as I needed the hatch for the dogs. This was an excellent* buy. Discovered the thermostat was stuck open and yes it was behind the timing belt. Having never done a timing belt before I thought why not just try and if I screw it up bin the car and buy something from a normal person and not a piece of scum. Also fuel leaked out of the tank when full as whoever had taken the sender thing out had not put it back in properly.

 

Kept this for 12 months and managed to sell it on gumtree to some WAT LOWEST M8 TONITE with only a few weeks MOT for about £300.

 

 

As I had been running around in utter rubbish for the last two years 'luxury transport' was next on the agenda. Had to be an estate and a V70 fitted the bill perfectly. It was advertised on gumtree in Fife and the ad was about two weeks old when I found it. It was a diesel and came with 4 months MOT and cost me £300. I was well impressed with my car buying skills. The only downside was the previous owner had five million German Shepherds and the all lived ing the car all the time! Possibly a slight exaggeration here but it stank! I took a lot of the interior out and cleaned it with the jet wash. This had the desired effect and when the next MOT came along it only went and passed!

 

I kept it until it started to struggle on cold starts, this was not the glow plugs as I changed these but the dynamic timing which I didn't have the kit to do and was not willing to pay for someone else to do it so away it went. I actually made a profit on using this.

 

 

Next was a very nice 300 tdi Discovery. Kept for about 12 months and moved on for something else. I probably lost the most on this one as I bought on condition and not the cheapest I could find. Still would again though.

 

 

Finally onto the current daily, a 1998 Volvo 940 lpt Celebration estate. Was local and just came up on gumtree one day, emailed the owner and arranged to see it the next day. Got up the next day and told Mrs T that there was a nice Volvo on gumtree, fancy looking at it? Yes was the reply and bought it there and then. One owner full service history car with every piece of paper relating to it. Needless to say this is the keeper. Had it nearly two years and done 10,000 miles each year in it.

 

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As the Daily cars above have been dealt with it is time for something a little more interisting.

 

I still have Gwen the Minor but let me introduce you to the 'mid life crisis'

 

Bought blind on ebay and picked up from Larkhall in awful weather. It had an MOT and a faulty starter motor. Me and a neighbour agreed to pick it up off the seller and drive it back if the seller could get it started somehow.

 

He said he could so off we went one morning in the bitter cold all wrapped up as for major bonus points there was no heater!

 

We arrive at the sellers house and watch him start it with the crank handle! He had done it earlier and let it warm up, I was amazed as I struggled to get it to rotate never mind start on the handle.

 

Off we went and decided that we should probably get fuel before crossing the bridge north. Fuel in and I allowed my neighbour to demonstrate how to start it, which he did and it was my turn to drive.

We managed to get 65 out of it before giving in and slowing to 55-60 for a quite* journey.

 

This is Dino:

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Dino was moved on just before the Discovery came along. I possibly made money but not much. The sale was very straight forward, I listed it on gumtree and had an email from some trader down in Yorkshire who offered me what I had set as my 'what I will accept price' straight off. He did not want to see it and would sent someone to collect it. I received the money in my bank within an hour and it was duly collected the following week. Also I was saved from dealing with the wonderful* people from gumtree.

 

Dino earned his living while I had him. During the two years he dragged a very heavy trailer around once with over a ton of plasterboard on it. I was sad to see him go but it was time for a change, again!

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There is a Volvo S80 missing from the list, got off the neighbour who helped with the Land Rover 2a when his dad gave up driving. Neatly filled a gap at the time. It had a list of problems that never affected how it performed. One hell of a car for a couple of hundred quid and some welding.

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Welcome Ticks!

 

Hope you don't kind me asking, but I'm just interested to know really, what/when was it that changed your perception of cars just being transport to being something of interest?

They have always been of interest to me, first car was a mini in wonderful* 'Champagne Beige' which took an amazing amount of abuse for several years. 

Then came a Mk 2 Cavalier which was a brilliant car and was passed on to my mum when it was time for the next change. Then a 4 door Minor, Mk 3 diesel Astra van that took 4 of us to the south of France, obviously quite a few more and nothing obscure.

 

I seem to go from one side of the coin to the other car wise. Luckily I have the option now to have stuff that I want. 

I currently have 5 and all of them together probably cost less than anything else on the street I live.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Next to arrive is Ben.

 

No photo yet as it is in a tight garage awaiting me being less lazy!

1957 two door Morris Minor 1000. Found on ebay and a viewing was arranged. 

I went along and had a look, what I found was a car that has been off the road for a lot of years and the seller had bought it when he retired to get back on the road. He had done the welding underneath. The engine had been fully rebuilt and back in the car (receipts for the parts and work in the huge weight of papers). I have a good look around it and decide it is rough and a lot of the welding he has done needs done properly but MOT exempt and generally in good condition otherwise it is for me. I say this to him and then get handed a beer at 10:30 am. 

I now decide this is how all cars transfers should be carried out.

A couple of weeks later I collect it on a trailer and put it in the garage where it has sat for a bit too long really.

 

 

 

 

Not one to get bogged down with details like 'I really should be fixing Ben and getting it on the road' I am browsing Gumtree one day and decide I 'need' the next addition. I had been looking for an MX5 for about £500 and was going to use it for the year and if it died then throw it away and if it survived that long see how long it lasted. During my search this came up:

 

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Me and Mrs T went to have a look, no MOT as it was just out, rough around the edges and the most ridiculous car I have ever tried to get in and out of. 

Obviously I bought it, I mean who wouldn't of (please don't answer that) so I tried to arrange with the seller a time when I could get it from him to my MOT garage but I could only collect it on a Sunday. Out came the hired trailer again and I dragged it back home. 

The following day I take it for an MOT and it obviously fails but the only major problem was bursting a metal brake pipe on test. Yes I had been trying out the 'performance' on the way to the test so was happy it lasted that long!

Some new pipes and calipers up front and a few wiring improvements* and it was back for a retest which it passed.

 

I noticed that it passed its retest 30 years exactly to the day that it was first registered so he was named Reg.

 

Great fun was had during the summer being an idiot with the wind in my hair massaging my scalp and another box being ticked. It is sorned for the winter as with everything I own it needs a bit of work.

 

 

 

 

The last (not ever) addition to add is 'Father Jack' 

 

I was quite happily watching TV one evening when Mrs T says 'have you seen this' and hands me her ipad with ebay open. No I have not, where is it?

Perth.

Oh nice and local then, I will send a message to have a look.

 

Two days later I get a reply and we go along to see what state it is in. We turn up and I crawl under it for a look and find it is surprisingly good for the price it is at. The only* problem is the clutch slave cylinder is knackered. There is a new one ready to fit with it. I have discussions with Mrs T and the seller and he wants to let the auction run which I am fine with. The other point is if I win he is happy with me using his pit to replace the slave cylinder on it.

 

Again I win and go to change the cylinder and pay the man. I get there and he helps get in into the garage and gives me a work lamp, old cylinder off and new one on in about an hour, really awkward as the pit is an odd depth. I ask him to help bleed and we are done.

It has no MOT and needs a bit of wiring to get the lights and indicators doing what it is supposed to do so I don't want to 'drive to MOT' and ask for quotes from Perth to Forfar and get £125 responses! 

Not happening!

I chance on K.A.R.R. solutions from Forfar and he says £40.  Result. 

What is even better is when he is picking it up I am on my way to London for a family doo and he offers to keep it for the week and drop it off the following weekend. Highly recommended and he covers all of the UK.

 

Any way what is Father Jack?

 

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Why is it called Father Jack?

 

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It is all the same colour green with the blue fighting its way beck in a few places and does not have a black door like the picture seems to show. It is diesel and starts really well no matter how long it has been left.

 

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  • 1 month later...

Spent too many hours changing the front pipe on the Volvo.

 

Needed hands the size of a baby, arms like Mr Tickle and the strength of He-Man, none of which apply to me so it was a socket with 1 click of the ratchet on two of the nuts to the turbo and all the wobble extension bars for the lower one (about 5) and the use of the angle grinder for the bolts to the cat.

 

While inspecting the issue I had noticed the weld on the back of the cat to the pipe was just holed so I managed to fix* it with a baked beans can, some jubilee clips and fire putty. It has lasted 15 miles so far which is longer than I expected it to. Will see how much a cat is for it and that will be the whole lot done.

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Gwen update:

 

Time for a bit of a catch up!
 
Ready for work to commence.
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Last talked about was front suspension bushes and I had been advised to buy some replacement parts which may or may not have been needed.
Opinions:
 
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So nothing wrong with them   :roll:
 
New parts were placed in the suitable places. 
The first side took me almost two hours and the second only about 20 mins so was happy enough with that.
 
Next on the agenda was to change the exhaust which was rather rusty and had suffered a little but of damage when doing the above work which resulted in a rather large pile of rust which used so aid the passage of gas from front to back. It didn't tale long to remove the exhaust and to get it to clear the rear axle I broke it in two by hand! Super strength was not required for this though as it just about fell apart.
 
With the exhaust out of the way it was time to replace the old Asbestos heat shield and cage. With this out of the way I then discovered this!
post-17457-0-29219500-1455026105_thumb.jpg
 
The metal was so thin it felt as strong as a Coke can. Obviously having a wet heat shield next to the metal of the floor had not been great for the floor.
I then did this to it:
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I employed my superb photography skills for both of these pictures and then decided I didn't need to take any more.
Now imagine a piece of metal welded in.
 
Good.
 
Now the new heat shield was fitted.
New stainless exhaust fitted.
 
Now the 'last' thing I needed to do was the Diff pinion seal which was weeping at MOT.
 
Pictures were not even considered at this point as I was cold, tired and uncomfortable.
With the prop out of the way I got a suitable socket on the large nut with a breaker bar, all this did was make the car move on the ramps!
I had to use my high quality Aldi pneumatic rattle gun which I had been dying to use for ages. What a brilliant piece of kit. Without this I think I would still be under the car probably crushed to death. 
Seal prised out and new one fitted, all put back together and axle refilled.
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  • 1 month later...

Gwen is now officially back on the trusted transport list!

 

Another few hours today finding out and rectifying the banging noise so all is good.

 

If you see a poo brown (Rose Taupe) Morris Minor with a rusty roof rack (which gets used quite a lot) and rusty other bit then it is safe and allowed on the road  :)

 

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That SS1 is a cracker. I love the shape and styling on these. I've been seriously hunting for one several times but always get scared off by the parts availability or loose enthusiasm as they don't come up that often.

 

I imagine them to drive like a grown up go-kart. Is it the Ford engine?  :-D

The SS1 is one of the worst looked after cars I have ever owned. It is great fun to drive but need a lot of niggles sorted out (these will more than likely never be done). 

It is the XR3 1600 that is in it with a 5 speed type 9. A good service and properly set up and it will be a lot better but I do lack carb setting skills.

 

I cannot compare the handling to any other sports* car as this is as good as my exotic sports car ownership has ever been!

 

If you are really after on get on Scimweb as there are always cars moving about that avoid ebay.

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I'd not stumbled across this thread before - glad I have! I've got a soft spot for the Moggies and Landies; I had a '68 1000 when I was 19 when all my mates were driving around in metros and fiestas! Great to see that Gwen is back on the road. Looks like you have massive storage facilities - that would encourage me to fill it right up with old cars...

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These are so simple I think you can be forgiven for not dealing with everything straight away(or ever).  I think we need more pics to determine the condition. I'm hoping for the achingly 80's red grey stripe interior.

 

I was on Scimweb when I was looking nothing came up, now there is no room at the inn!

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