Felly Magic Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I'm still in shock that it's an old Laguna 2 and it actually is running. Level 525 win here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taff Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Hi,not bad at all.Those key card readers can be fixed easily - it is a common fault... Here is a tutorial in Spanish. Daniel That is class, a German telling a Yorkshireman in Spanish how to fix a French car. Fuck you, ISIS, you hear me? FUCK YOU! beko1987, mat_the_cat, scaryoldcortina and 16 others 19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nacho man Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Every time I see some on conrads work, I want another like button that can only be used in special occasions, but just lets him know it's FRIGGIN brilliant. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Cavcraft and Conrad D. Conelrad 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lankytim Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 The best one was the French Vosa stopping the miltiple A framed 2CVs. Conrad D. Conelrad and catsinthewelder 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan_dyane Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Superb thread; wud reccomend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryoldcortina Posted November 24, 2015 Author Share Posted November 24, 2015 Keycard problem was a faulty cardreader. Thankfully these are all the same and the scrapyard isn't short of lagunas. Fixed for a fiver. Revcounter - when it says 3000, the OBD port says... So it reads right, but the redline is 2k lower than it should be. I can live with that. I also found the radio code, and dropped the punctured tyre off with my tame tyre fitter. Next job is to throw away all the old takeaway wrappers and broken CDs and give it a good clean inside. Sloth in a bowl, Lord Sterling, beko1987 and 17 others 20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Bo11ox Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 This has somehow caused a pile of Lagunaz to appear in my watch list mouseflakes, andrew e, KruJoe and 10 others 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cort16 Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Is 3k the idle speed? Lacquer Peel, HH-R and mat_the_cat 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryoldcortina Posted November 24, 2015 Author Share Posted November 24, 2015 No, 3k is because it's easier to see a 10% error than at 1k. Nyphur and Jim Bell 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Someone's fitted Diesel clocks at some point haven't they? The original one probably had a touch of the Renaults and so someone put this in. The redline should be around 6000 I would have said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Bell Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I cant believe this has gone so well. Bonus footpump. dugong 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatharris Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I am so happy this thread exists. Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pillock Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 So you can feel like you're properly "pushing on" (as the brochures used to say after they were told of for glamorising speed) when you take the rev counter off the end of the scale on every change. scaryoldcortina 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the judge Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Yep. Diesel clocks in there boyo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overrun Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Not old, not Cortina. Pretty Scary, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouseflakes Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 a pile of Lagunaz Correct collective noun for these is 'a lagoon' catsinthewelder, eddyramrod and michael t 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greengartside Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Petrol clocks are 7k redline as shown here. This is what makes Autoshite what it is, a FREE car that's escaped death by a gnat's cock and is currently running up and down this wonderful country's motorways and little lanes giving a massive 'FUCK YOU' to all the wankers in the financed BMW's and Arrrghdis. I bet even old pig-fancier Cameron stares open-mouthed when he sees this triumph of budget motoring waft past. ISIS are shitting themselves, no suicide bomber would dare to damage the bodywork on this beauty. Long may Y804 FEF live on! purplebargeken, michael t, dugong and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben_O Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Correct collective noun for these is 'a lagoon'Not Laguni then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Does your mate regret giving this to you now, or was he done with it anyway? a car for a tenner (keycard and footpump) with no roffle involved is bastard good, especially such a modern one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HH-R Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 No one needs over 5000 RPM anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chatsharris Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 This thread is ace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BorniteIdentity Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Beating the system and winning at life. Having read this thread, I've just given the 18 year old me a bollocking. Back in 1999 I was offered an Allegro which had been left in a car park for 7 months. Unfortunately I was suffering with a severe bout of CBA and never took the keys. It was dog shit brown with MOT from memory. Sloth in a bowl and oldcars 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HillmanImp Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 After trying to read the fucking dismal failure to collect or not collect the Renault 20 because the editor of the Sun says we should all stay indoors because of the Muslamics, this has made my day reading this. Can we have more of this per-leese. I am leaning towards doing more car shizzle again as am bored of the house now. Taff, Craig the Princess, scaryoldcortina and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tickman Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 What an excellent thread.Love the 'getting dropped off' to collect a car that has been abandoned for weeks because it obviously didn't work and driving it away after a bit of car boot shopping! scaryoldcortina 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryoldcortina Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 More exciting* progress! The flat tyre from the boot is unsaveable. Because the slow punctured one also looks a bit ropey I've ordered a couple of part worns which should be here on friday. Radio code works, all speakers are broken. This may be something to do with the many clubland/hardcore CDs I found. Plenty of rubbish in the boot - Can of tyreweld I hadn't spotted earlier, broken emergency beacon and large box with two front struts in it. I also found a new wiper blade, right size for the passenger side which is knackered. Driver's side has a new blade already. See if you can guess why it wasn't fitted.... I also noticed this series of strange dents along the roof - they seem to be roughly fist shaped and run from just forward of the B post down towards the back. Hmmmm. There U are! Carpet is really minging. Baccy, dog hair, sweets etc. Hoover time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryoldcortina Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Driver's seat jammed while I was moving it to hoover, turned out to be an easy fix. 20p best coin for french car faults. Still need to clean down the plastics but it's far less minging now. Planning to tax it on tuesday. Vince70, nacho man, Nyphur and 12 others 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BorniteIdentity Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Does tesco part synthetic oil belong in such a fine vehicle? I know Autoshite - but the good stuff if only about £15. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timewaster Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Genuine chuckle that there was a can of tyre weld in the boot all the time. scaryoldcortina 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scaryoldcortina Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Yeah, I laughed when I found that. It's actually Auto Extreme Tyre Fix and priced at 99p so chances of it working probably slim at best. I've given Mrs S the tyre pump as a present, she's having fun cleaning and polishing it which is also distracting her from the yet another car situation. eddyramrod, anonymous user and purplebargeken 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoadworkUK Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 This is the greatest fred on here for ages. Bear in mind that, just because it's only got diesel clocks in doesn't mean that Renault didn't fit glowplugs somewhere. You'll probably get the STOP warning come on at some point and you'll trace it to a defective tape speed regulator in the Tatung VCR you put in your attic. Nyphur, Conrad D. Conelrad, Vince70 and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now