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My shite history inc Allegro floppytop Update 18/3 BROWN


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Evening Lads and Lassies, I'm Nev, and I'm a Car-oholic.

 

I've had far too many cars in far too few years; at one point I had a count up, and it was well past the 100, and before I was introduced to the site, I was deemed abnormal and freakish by my friends and peers. 

However, having read about the collections and buying habits of some of you, I feel like a bit of an amateur.

 

This is just a starter, a taster if you like of some of the stuff I've owned; all enjoyed, some disappointed. It's not in date order either; I've got loads moar photos to upload, but at some point, I'll have to get my head out of my arse and compose the definitive, chronologically correct list.

 

So, to kick off.

 

Mark One escort, two door, in Le Mans Green, with mexico seats (OMGOSF etc), quarter bumpers, and a wheezy 1300 x-flow, mated to a whiny 1100 gearbox. My first car, so therefore I loved it. Would be forth a fecking fortune now....Here's a slimmer, hairer me in what must have been around 1989.


 

 

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The escort was sold to an apprentice at work, who ruined it even more, and then owned by my brother, who intended to turn it into a Rally Slag. He didn't. Someone came along and offered him ££££ so away it went, never to be seen again.

 

 

I replaced it with this roadburning mofo. 4 x Ring Rally Giants on the front, 1.3 Mill under the bonnet. And "ventilated" floors. Purchased off my brother for the princely sum of £150, this was fondly known as "Custard". Black vinyl roof impressed teh laydees and the stereo with home hi-fi speakers told everyone I was a real dude. Probably. Cat not included.

 

 

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Edited by Nev
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This was sold to an idiot who lived up the road, who endowed it with a disturbingly shit bodykit, thrashed whatever bollocks it had left out of it, then stuffed it into an immovable object. Unfortunately he was uninjured.

next was a Signal Orange Capri Mk3  2.0S XER305T. Lush. Pics will be along at some point, on most of the below.

 

Then (December 1989 - bearing in mind this was car number 4 and i'm not even 18 yet...) Renault 11 TXE Electronic. 1985. Most comfy car so far, and in the top 5 of ever; this was equipped with the really annoying voice synthesizer that warned you if you were low on fuel (even if you'd just stuck £20 in) and that you only had one brake circuit working (again, a lie). Got bored with that fairly quickly.

 

Changed for:

 

MG Maestro 2.0i D744ABP (?) in white. I'd been given a pay-rise (and the opportunity to make a bit of £££ on the side) which I spent on making this car faster. IIRC i changed the exhaust, injectors, air filter, cam, chip. I probably kept Moto-Build in biscuits for a year. For the time (1990?) this thing was properly rapid, easily beating my Essex Boi mates in their XR3i's and the like. Got smashed-up by some cock, repaired, but flogged soon after, as I'd lost interest.
 

 

 

Next: Ford Sierra XR4i A626BPN, again, silly amounts of money spent, bhp boosted, but back axle, diff and gearbox all shat themselves at some point. More later.

 

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The more alert amongst you will have noticed a Gallic Beauty lurking in the background of the photo of the black XR4i.

A Fuego Turbo to be precise, and a tatty one at that. But someone made me an offer I couldn't refuse, so I bought it. Had wanted one since I sat in one at a Motorfair at earls Court when i was younger, and the thought of it being just an 18 in a party frock never entered my mind. can't remember what happened to that, probably sold in favour of another old item of much shite-ness.....

 

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Background of the Fuego pic features two Ford's one Mrs_Nev's 2.5 V6 Mongdano, a surprisingly good and comfy thing, with plastic wood and electric stuff. Drank a bit though, but as Bro will testify, there are few ways to get home from Cornwall quicker, me in my BMW 540i, him in the Ford, in a convoy that NOTHING overtook....

And alongside it, the car that I owned for the longest time, WAR125W, a 3.0S Capri. I bought a 3.1 Specialised Engines Essex lump off my brother, which was installed in a half-arsed restoration case he'd started and lost hope/interest/funding for. Got it sprayed, welded etc, then a need to raise capital to fund my own business meant she had to go. Gutted.

 

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At some point I'd decided that just one car was never going to be enough, so despite bleating from both Mutha_Nev and the future Mrs_Nev, i bought stuff just for the shits and giggles. The car below was one such frippery. With the exception of only my Lancia Delta HF, this had the worst turbo lag ever. It also seemed to corner on it's door-handles in a typically Gallic manner, despite the tyres being a previously unheard of low-profile and the suspension being "uprated". It was a bastard to start when hot. And cold. And anywhere in between, and in the short time I had it, decided to break out in bubbles of rust on pretty much every panel. The vehicle in question? A Renault 5 Gordini Turbo. Scary.

 

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At some point I'd decided that just one car was never going to be enough

 

Just knew you'd be ok on here. It could actually be classified as an illness, a good illness, but an illness just the same. Kind of like sex addiction but less moist.

 

Some most worthy cars there.

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As he says; there's more.....(Also bear in mind I'm going to load more pictures....stay tuned you crazy catz)

 

Another impulse purchase, a bloody lovely bit of kit. A MK2 facelift Ghia X 2.8 carb. Living as close as I do to Arena Essex, this was asking for trouble, but she survived unscathed. Once lent to @Autoplas of this parish after someone relieved him of his wheels, and enjoyed very much, until the fateful day where he chose to believe the on-board fuel computer, which as we know, was always* 100% accurate. Stranded by the side of the A127 London bound in rush hour. Nice.

 

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Picture the scene, it's 7.00pm on a god-forsaken Lorry Park in Basildon. You are surrounded by utter cack cars, and chavvy herberts in shell suits, and dodgy looking small time car dealers. Yep, you're at an auction.

 

then suddenly a vision in white purrs into view. It's got 3 times the amount of cylinders that wheels, red leather armchairs, and it appears to have no reserve. 6 weeks MoT, two months tax. 

 

WCPGW?

 

As it happens, very little. Unless you count the fuel consumption, which to this day is the worst I've ever experienced, which includes a Dodge Ram. Used in small doses, due to the possibility of fuel related bankruptcy, this really was proper. Not chuckable AT ALL, but more suited to wafting about, taking things a bit easier, instead of driving like you stole it. Sold to a jag breakers when the MoT ran out, for more than I paid. Brucie.

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  • Nev changed the title to My shite history inc Allegro floppytop Update 18/3 BROWN

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