Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[Station]

The Dennis truck company based their Dennis fire truck front end on Auf Wiedersein Pet's Dennis's face.

 

 

[hauserplenty]

"Avant-garde is French for bullshit." --John Lennon

[Urko]

The nickname 'bridge' for scrapping a car came from when the Forth rail bridge was made entirely out of old cars melted down on site and 'spun' into girders. A by product was a filthy orange liquid consisting entirely of rust in suspension. The canny scots who don't like to waste anything sold this on as an appetising drink for children, hence irn bru, made in Scotland from girders was born.

This explains my love of Irn Bru.

[Urko]

Noel Tidybeard actually controlled Austin Rover, he got it on Swap Shop when Maggie Thatcher phoned in to swap it for Keith Chegwin

Actually, that would explain a feck of a lot.

[inconsistant]

The nickname 'bridge' for scrapping a car came from when the Forth rail bridge was made entirely out of old cars melted down on site and 'spun' into girders. A by product was a filthy orange liquid consisting entirely of rust in suspension. The canny scots who don't like to waste anything sold this on as an appetising drink for children, hence irn bru, made in Scotland from girders was born.

 

The Forth Rail Bridge is always referred to as the Forth Rail Bridge north of the border, but the Scottishists can get a bit irritated if you call the Forth Road Bridge the Forth Road Bridge, they always just call it the Forth Bridge, because it's better than the rail one.

[Station]

Facing bankrupcy during the 1960's, british car makers Austin, Rover, Morris and Riley merged to form the mighty Menasor, and proceeded to wage a tyranny of rurhless death and destruction across earth and beyond.

 

[vulgalour]

March 1942.  War is still raging across Europe and some of the rest of the world.  Fun had been rationed to such a point that it was no longer viable.  It was at this point that men and women across the world developed an underground post and telegram network appreciating the mundane and, in their desperation, seeking out anything of interest.  The group would splinter further, some would go on to become mind-numbingly seriously minded train enthusiasts.  Others would end up recording bus journeys and posting their videos on what is now the internet.  Some would go as far as to become amateur radio enthusiasts.

 

But a few brave souls ventured out into the wilderness determined to make the mundane interesting, amusing and above all never take themselves too seriously.  It was in 1945 as war was coming to an end but life was still fucking miserable in Britain that in spite of rationing, stiff upper lips, structural undergarments and an unremitting optimism of organised fun, Motor Flotsam was born.  An organisation that would later be known as Autoshite.

 

Now, as then, nobody really cared.

[John F]

Ford vehicles can be used as actual reduced-depth crossing places during times of flooding.

[Parky]

The Forth Rail Bridge is always referred to as the Forth Rail Bridge north of the border, but the Scottishists can get a bit irritated if you call the Forth Road Bridge the Forth Road Bridge, they always just call it the Forth Bridge, because it's better than the rail one.

The Forth bridge is so called because it replaced the previous three bridges which were technically:

 

The first big catapult

The second rope between two big trees

The third series of big red balls (concept later adopted on Total Wipeout)

 

Before the people of Scotland got fed up with falling in rivers while Amanda Byram laughed at them and built a bridge instead.

[Tamworthbay]

The ford Anglia was initially only available in Norfolk and Suffolk and was sold so cheap because it was fitted with a small engine which was not able to climb hills.

[himoverthere]

The RDS radio system is a god-send when driving, and might even be fitted to some of the shitters on here. It means that there is a better than evens chance that the one good record they play per day on Radio 2 will be interrupted with the second half of the travel news from the county you've just left and a snippet of utterly inane parochial chat, which - if by pure random chance - does happen to be of interest, will cut off before it finishes.

 

However, two little known facts about the RDS system are:

 

1) 98% of the people who have read a manual for a car stereo with RDS have tried to use the 'search by programme type' function, and on both occasions nothing happened.

 

2) The RDS system was actually funded by governments as a means of informing the populace of the start of a Nuclear War, and any RDS compatible radio can be turned on remotely by the government. Even if it's not plugged in. It was supposed to be tested for the Queen's Speech in 1981 but it was vetoed by Thatcher, which is when the rift between her and the Queen began.

[Station]

Categories in the 'Search By Type' RDS thing:

 

'Adverts' - local commercial radio, top five on repeat, 'Move Like Jagger', songs where the chorus is just whistling

'Teen' - BBC radio 1, with adverts for the current Strictly Come Dancing, Classic FM

'Pensioner' - BBC local radio and Radio 2,, 100s of songs from the 50s, with adverts and conversation about the current Strictly Come Dancing, Irish presenter

'The Economy' - Radio 3 or 4, Classic FM

'Jazz' - Interference, random unpleasant Indian music if driving through Midlands

'ACDC' - the last three seconds of Soyndgarden's 'Black Hole Sun', before a track list of irrelevant 70s music that only 60+ year old magazine editors listen to, and adverts that lasts six days before they play Black Hole Sun again. Classic FM

'News' - radio will scan for infinity, Radio 4, Classic FM

[John F]

In an emergency, Proton cars can be used as real sub-atomic particles.

[martc]

In an emergency, Proton cars can be used as real sub-atomic particles.

 

By the Law of Physics, Protons must not be parked next to Fairthorpe Electrons.

[scaryoldcortina]

By the Law of Physics, Protons must not be parked next to Fairthorpe Electrons.

Lancia Betas can be stopped by thick cardboard, but a gamma can penetrate 10cm thick lead sheeting.

[anonymous user]

The ford Anglia was initially only available in Norfolk and Suffolk and was sold so cheap because it was fitted with a small engine which was not able to climb hills.

You also forgot about Ford saving money on the 100E by leaving third gear out of the gearbox

[MiniMort]

A Trabant can be destroyed with mental thought alone. During the process, if a radio is installed and it's a solar eclipse on Friday 13th at 2am, it will burst out abstract jazz music until the battery is flat...

[fordperv]

In an emergency, Proton cars can be used as real sub-atomic particles.

Hence why all j reg protons must be saved

[martc]

Lancia Betas can be stopped by thick cardboard, but a gamma can penetrate 10cm thick lead sheeting.

 

And Alfas can be barely make it through piece of soggy paper.

[rml2345]

And Alfas can turn into soggy paper.

EFA

[inconsistant]

In the early 1940s Henry Ford made a prototype car from baked beans

[Tamworthbay]

eBay pays for people to purposefully bid on cars then piss you about after the auction so you have to relist it and increase their profits. Any suggestions that these knuckle dragging morons just exist anyway and mostly drive corsas bought mostly from Halfords is purely fictitious.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Due to budget problems, the Lambo Miura featured in the opening of the 1969 version of 'The Italian Job' was in fact a 1969 Austin Maxi 1500. A young Bernie and Leepu were responsible for the realistic re-design of the bodywork, using a hefty 124kg of Plastic Padding to disguise the sexy lines of the Maxi. 

[rml2345]

In the early 1940s Henry Ford made a prototype car from baked beans

RED CARD!

 

Not quite baked beans but Henry Ford experimented extensivley with soy beans including a car with soybean panels.

[inconsistant]

RED CARD!

 

Not quite baked beans but Henry Ford experimented extensivley with soy beans including a car with soybean panels.

 

RED CARD!

 

This is true. There is no place for facts on this thread. Clear off.

[Felly Magic]

After British Leyland used the quartic wheel in the Allegro and SD1, Ford bosses didn't want to be outdone by their Midlands rivals, and the Mk3 Escort was planned to have a dodecahedron shaped wheel with fairly pronounced edges to aid grip when turning

[richardthestag]

Somewhat ironically Alfa Romeo's sexy Alfasud was made using steel from recycled washing machines.

[richardthestag]

Rather than follow EU directives, to protect drivers with air bags to protect them from moronic manoeuvres, UPIK wanted to follow Jaguars Lead from the 1950 by attaching a selection of daggers and razor blades to the dash, while relocating all air bags to just underneath the drivers seat.

 

Roads would quickly become safer through Darwinesque cleansing of the Jeans pool somehow

[martc]

Ford make the Ka from quarks. Unfortunately they used the rather crap cheese substitute rather than the fundamental particles originally specified by the designer.

[John F]

The Fiat X1/9 was originally intended to be a one ninth scale replica of the Bell X1 aircraft that first broke the sound barrier.

 

Its top speed was also intended to be one ninth of the X1's top speed but the little Fiat failed to reach the requisite 177.6 mph.