Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[oldford]

Project Drive - the cost cutting initiative implemented by MG Rover was based on the the following research.   They analysed the contents of that place in a technicians tool box where all the left over bits ended up, they then instructed the workshops to not refit specific parts when carrying out a repair under warranty and then correlated previous repairs with subsequent repairs to see if they were related to the missing parts, if they were not then that specific part was then deleted from further use in the car.

 

Though the parts were inexpensive, the small cost saving made multiplied by the number of cars produced, coupled with a labour saving on warranty claims (less parts take less time to fit) and the savings made on the parts distribution and warehousing, kept MG Rover going for an extra year.

[FakeConcern]

After the success of the Maxi Diesel,  the same engine was fitted to the Mini Clubman, but found to produce too much torque for the front subframe to cope with resulting in a sideways stance that didn't become fashionable for another 30 years.

[FakeConcern]

The Citroen XM was introduced to make use of the surplus parts from the discontinued SM from 20 years previously.

[Station]

Some BL facts for you to share with your latest OKCUPID date:

 

The mk1 Princess had a tow bar on the windscreen wipers for no apparent reason.

 

Page 46 of the Metro handbook has a picture of BL head designer Sir Smythe Wilkinsop violently vomitting on a dog.

 

Several BL managers shifted nervously in their armchairs when first watching that Simpsons episode where Homer designs a car.

[Parky]

I believe Farina did similar to the Toyota Carina in the 1990's

[Parky]

The four pot calipers on the Princess only came about when an errant designer left a cup of black coffee on the original profile view of the two pot design sketches.

 

When collected by engineering, the presence of two dark circles within the caliper outline suggested four pots were required and the rest is history.

 

BL fitted these calipers to a development Allegro but in that application they proved so strong that even gentle braking made the rear window fly forwards and decapitate the driver. Anti Decapitation shields were fitted to the back of the front seats but due to insufficient hinge range they ended up being sold to Vanden Plas who marketed them as rear seat picnic tables.

[Pillock]

The Mk2 Princess was the first production car to use tupperware as a structural component, replacing the cake tins of the Mk1.

It also featured advanced Hydragas units made from piping bags (termed PyperGas) and featured Royal Icing as a no-cost option in place of the vinyl roof (unless the car was ordered in Puss Yellow, in which case marzipan was used)

[Parky]

You forgot to mention it formed part of BL's "Battenburg" special edition when their supplier accidentally made 250 yellow drivers seats and 250 pink passenger ones.

 

Sadly none exist as they were cannibalised during the 1977 Marzipan shortage. And the only people who know about it won't talk about it because they were the only ones who had a proper Christmas Cake that year and many friends and neighbours still bear a grudge

[Parky]

La Paz in Bolivia is one of the highest cities in the world and all vehicles sold there have a gas turbine option owing to their greater efficiency at high altitudes.

 

British Leyland Bolivia developed an Austin Maxi with raised suspension and a gas turbine option and raced it up a hill to demonstrate its abilities. Unfortunately the engine was so efficient it cleared the hill and as the power kept increasing it launched from the top and continued upwards.

 

On 12th November 1972 the prototype landed on the moon and despite the trajectory and intense speed, the only damage was a cracked headlight and a slightly twisted bumper, a testament to the strength of the original Issigonis design. It was actually used as a lunar rover (then known as lunar Austin) by the crew of Apollo 17 when the batteries flattened on their own kit. Despite the interior being spacious enough to accommodate the crew and their equipment, Commander Eugene Cernan was critical of the gearchange which he likened to "stirring a flagpole through moon dust" but was otherwise complimentary about the compliance of the suspension.

 

According to Lunar probes from the US and Soviet space programmes it is still sitting there although as Cernan had left the headlights on the battery is flat

[vulgalour]

Ever wondered why Trans Ams had a chicken on the bonnet?

 

Fact is, for a brief period Pontiac was actually owned by KFC due to an administrative error.

[martc]

Also, Steve Majors, the Six Million Dollar Bionic Man changed his name to Steve Austin as his arm was made from an Allegro wiper motor and his legs were fitted with Allegro starter motors. He could run at 60mph and had an Allegro speedometer implanted in his brain. Now 74 he gets his Hydragas knees re-gassed every year when his MOT is done.

 

If the six million dollar man runs too fast, backwards, the lenses of his glasses fall out.

[Parky]

Same happens if you don't jack him up in the correct place

[Parky]

I am loving these Maxi mashups!

 

I wonder what a Capri style sports coupe or convertible would look like?

[Parky]

Ford built 1.2m mark one Fiestas but only made 1.1m tailgates. The mark two tailgate was phased in early to cover the shortage

[Vince70]

The Mars Rover was actually built by the Rover group and is a fully implemented project drive Rover 75 hence no bodywork which NASA bought on the cheap then adapted when the company folded up.

And knowing that water was on Mars NASA decided to go for a cheaper 1.8 option K series and just sent it up with a few bottles of K seal for emergency use.

 

There was a rumour that A MG ZT was going to be the 75 of choice but it was found that the suspension was too harsh for the pot holes.

[vulgalour]

... popular but hideously reliable Renault...

Perfect.

[Station]

A couple of facts for any upcoming Mastermind Specialist Round material.

 

The fastest recorded steam powered land speed record was an MGF in April 1996, on the M5 at 85mph.

 

If your MGF still has the original undercar coolant pipes, there is a hand operated valve, and 'thrust vectoring' is then controlled by the ECU. Turning this during a 'doing a Hellmans' moment, will give the car VTOL takeoff, the ECU will then guide and crash land the car into the nearest scrap yard.

 

Project Drive was so sweeping, that the next cars were going to be badged the VERO, the VROOV and the MGF replacement, the OOER.

 

The greatest height recorded by an unpowered man made object was an MGF coolant reservoir cap, released slowly on 24th June 1996, before rapidly slipping the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God.

[Bren]

So many K series engines have blown their head gaskets that they have melted the Greenland ice cap.

[Sloth in a bowl]

The Autoshite Auction Game is under contract to the BBC as next year's replacement for the Great British Bakeoff, you heard it here first.

[quicksilver]

Here's a piece of total bullshit that was presented as a fact on a model railway forum: MAN trucks are made by a consortium of Mercedes, Audi and NSU.

[LC Torana]

Here's a piece of total bullshit that was presented as a fact on a model railway forum: MAN trucks are made by a consortium of Mercedes, Audi and NSU.

Obvious bullsh!t.

 

 

 

 

The N is for Nissan.

[Pillock]

Leyland demonstrated a version of the National in 1976 that could be extended or shortened depending on how many passengers were boarding. Featuring a bay made of a mixture of elastic and rubber (recycled from old swimming caps), the driver had a control on the dashboard which energised an electromagnet under the front half of the bus, either attracting the rear end to shorten the bus or repelling it to lengthen it.

 

It was shelved after a shortened bus drove past the leaders of that years Tour de Manchester cycle race and immediately snatched the bikes from under the riders whereby they were stuck to the back of the bus. Upon realising, the driver threw the control to the "lengthen" position which propelled a number of bikes through the window of a local bakery, scattering a tray of sausage rolls valued at nearly £1 (60 shillings)

[vulgalour]

Ever wondered why Trans Ams had a chicken on the bonnet?  Fact is, for a brief period Pontiac was actually owned by KFC due to an administrative error.

 

I almost forgot, KFC were directly responsible for coming up with the Pontiac Family Bucket.  This was proposed as an ideal solution for hauling family to KFC and hauling lots of deep fried chicken and family back home again.  The clear canopies are actually aluminium made transparent by polishing them with deep fried chicken wings.  It was rumoured the Colonel himself had a diesel powered one that ran exclusively on the used frying oil normally discarded by KFC outlets which allowed him to inspect each and every KFC in America without worrying about fuel costs.

 

 

Edit:  Note the Type K number plate, this was it's code name during design, originally it was going to be Type KFC.  Also, that's head designer "legless" Trudy Frygood demonstrating the rear seats.

[Justin Case]

It is well known that VW name their cars after popular sports, eg Polo and Golf. Unfortunately when making the badges for their new small car in that range, the Ludo, they put the d on upside down and it had to be sold as the Lupo.

[Station]

The Grand Prix was originally a load of men hitting each other violently with their genitals.

No cars were involved (apart from the ambulance taking away the injured).

[vulgalour]

Amazingly, there are still many individuals who still perform the old Grand Prix races online and you can find their videos of this fine old sport on a surprisingly diverse number of specialist websites.  Ambulances are a rare sight now, the sport is much safer than it used to be.

[Tamworthbay]

The Autoshite Auction Game is under contract to the BBC as next year's replacement for the Great British Bakeoff, you heard it here first.

is it being headed up by Mary Berry' son Steve Berry?

[Noel Tidybeard]

during the rover/honda partnership there were plans to dust off the Maxi name for a quirky family car with seats that turned into an bed, but as we all know BMW happened so honda released it as one of their own JDM models and named it S-MaXi as at tribute to what could've been

[Station]

The Volkswagen Polo mk1 is commonly called the 'Breadvan' by annoying, Homer Simpson tahirt wearing, blinkered Volkswagen obsessive arse holes who have never driven other cars, because it was in a Hovis advert.

[Tamworthbay]

BMW X5 and Audi Q7 owners only park in the middle of two spaces because they need to swing open the doors to allow them to load and unload their cargo of injured furry creatures, legless veterans, blind armless lesbians and other worthy causes they are known to support.