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DodgyBastard

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[mention=5696]DodgyBastard[/mention] you seem to shit gold when it comes to finding and selling shitboxes. You're the Lionel Messi of second-hand cars. 
Would be good to hear you doing some reviews on your YouTube channel
Erm, thanks I think...
I prefer making silent reviews with no talking, I'm sure nobody else wants to listen to my monotone dialogue...
I'd happily film someone else reviewing my cars.

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The scene where the Polo comes down the hill right? 
 
Hahaha, I thought I recognised some of the cars. Fugginell, that’s ultrasad.
Check out malevolent on Netflix for another of my cars and in march 2020 a film is coming out called "our ladies" which I have a few cars in. There's also a bollywood movie called "83" which has my subaru in it.

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49327848958_2ff56b53bd_c.jpgRJC_3456 by srblythe, on Flickr

 

I bought my first car of 2020 and dear god it's a fucking heap of shit.

 

 

 

It was advertised cheap on marketplace with a short description and a couple of rubbish photos, the description basically read - Engine good, bodywork bad which was factually correct, what he failed to mention was the clutch was completely fucked and it reeked of pish inside. I did my typical buying technique of turning up, giving it a quick look over then handing over the cash and fucking off, I don't often bother with test drives but this is the one occasion I probably should have because I'd never had handed over the cash had I driven first.

The seller was hopeless, he spoke mostly in Romanian and the only thing I could make out was brexit and export, it parked awkwardly in his driveway next to his caravan and made a mess of trying to manoeuvre it out and ended up scraping one side of it down his garden wall.

Out on the street I was keen to get going so made an offer which he accepted, he then asked if I was happy and confirmed that it was sold as seen with no comebacks etc, I said yeah, whatever and jumped in. Everything inside was slightly slimy and sticky and it reeked of piss, the ashtray was full.

I went to pull away and instantly knew the clutch was knackered, the bite was incredibly high and it was quite clearly slipping in every gear. The fuel light was on. I headed to the nearest fuel station and stuck £20 in, I really shouldn't have bothered because it never made it home. I managed to nurse it for a few miles until I got to a slight incline and it ran out of clutch, I had to abandon it in an industrial estate.

 

 

49328325286_df840078e2_c.jpgRJC_3457 by srblythe, on Flickr

 

I returned to my unit and collected my other Ranger and A-frame then headed back for the broken hateful heap of shit. I think it was probably the worst A-framing experience I've ever had, the rear end of the RWD ranger kept sliding and wanting to jackknife on corners and was horrendously slow. After holding up traffic for a few miles I took a sharp turn at a junction and almost crashed when the tow car jackknifed then bent one of the arms on the A-frame. I continued on my journey and saw that the ranger behind was sitting off centre and whenever I went round corners I could hear it scraping the ground.

I made it back eventually. What should have been a quick 1 hour max car collection turned into a 4 hour ordeal.

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22 minutes ago, MorrisItalSLX said:

What a palaver!

Fix it up or fuck it off?

My Mrs wants to fix it but I'd very much like to fuck it off. It's really her car so at the moment it's looking like fixing it will be the option. The last 3 cars she's insisted on purchasing have been right fucking sheds, this, the Senator and the W123 240D were all cars of her choice.

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1 hour ago, DodgyBastard said:

I did my typical buying technique of turning up, giving it a quick look over then handing over the cash and fucking off, I don't often bother with test drives but this is the one occasion I probably should have because I'd never had handed over the cash had I driven first.

The seller was hopeless, he spoke mostly in Romanian and the only thing I could make out was brexit and export, it parked awkwardly in his driveway next to his caravan and made a mess of trying to manoeuvre it out and ended up scraping one side of it down his garden wall.

Out on the street I was keen to get going so made an offer which he accepted, he then asked if I was happy and confirmed that it was sold as seen with no comebacks etc, I said yeah, whatever and jumped in. Everything inside was slightly slimy and sticky and it reeked of piss,

Clucking Bell you guys got some balls taking a flyer like this.  

The seller is probs pissed up good and proper now thinking he’s just won the jackpot

i’d Still be there kicking the tyres 

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Tongue in cheek: you should have walked if the floor mats weren't clean.

 

Looks like it could be a useful tool, though I get the idea that you have a few of them already.

 

A frame journey sounds like a nightmare

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2 hours ago, dave j said:

I bet that seller was shitting himself waiting for a knock on the door from you demanding a refund! I bet his phone was turned off! 

Nah, we shook hands and I agreed it was sold as seen and he'd never hear from me again regarding any further faults I found etc so there was no chance of asking for a refund. It's my own fault for assuming everything was fine so I'll just take it on the chin and forget about it.

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