Car Stereotypes

[DVee8]

A little incident between a bmw and an audi this afternoon got me thinking about car stereotype.

 

So Audi A4 Bmw 3 Vauxhall insignia driver arsehole,outside lane hogger,no indicators.

Volvo ,architect or scottish

Nissan Note old boy young mum

Chrysler 300c Merc SEC drug dealer gangster

Ranger Rover footballer

Rover giffer

Bini MX5 MR2 hairdresser

Vw camper surfer hippy

[dollywobbler]

2CV. Bloody hippies with beards, sandals and long hair. However, I am not a vegetarian.

[Richard]

I have a book of car stereotypes. The book is from the early 80s so the badges have changed but the drivers haven't. Flickr can't really be used on a mobile since it was changed but I'll have a go at posting a screen shot.

[alf892]

First four maybe apply to new cars. Feel free to be offended

 

Skoda - old giffer......... although now also the darling of those who think they have made a smart choice. Some ex MG owners

 

Dacia - penniless fools being made poorer by depreciation.

 

MG - Clueless fools in for a shock.

 

Rover - Men of good taste and distinction with impeccable manners and a sense of fair play. Generally appalled by the modern world and although law abiding citizens they find speed/parking cameras to be........well just not cricket.

 

Chevrolet - Oiks

[John F]

Citroen Xsara Picasso: fat bastard and his enormous scowling wife, transporting their revolting sticky children to Maccy D's to shovel burgers into their obese, slack-jawed faces for the third time that day.

[dollywobbler]

Citroen Xsara Picaso: fat bastard and his enormous scowling wife, transporting their revolting sticky children to Maccy D's to shovel burgers into their obese, slack-jawed faces for the third time that day.

 

Memories of Shitefest '14 and The Grim Family!

[garbaldy]

Volvo ,architect

 

 

Was it not Saab that had that tag?

 

I don't do the pigeon holing thing as it is all makes that suffer from nobs these day's

[Cavcraft]

Cavalier Mk1: Clearly a winner in life with nothing left to prove to anyone. International fanny magnet, man of extreme good taste and probably co-owner of a small white dog.

 

Modern Audi or BMW: Shiney suited gobshite, lives on a modern housing estate with a  trophy blonde bint wife, 2.6 kids and is up to his eyeballs in debt. Car is financed, wife is financed, mortgage ten times more than he can afford, but at home he's fuck all. That's why he drives everywhere at 271mph, 1 inch from your back bumper with his fog lights on as he races to his next appointment to rip some poor pensioner off with gas and electric. He HAS to make no. 1 in the office sales chart this month, he can't be beaten by another poncey wanker with a spikey haircut and more lines in cheese than the world's biggest pizza. Let's his hair down at Chester Races by drinking his own weight in knob head alcopops and mixers, pisses on the Eastgate clock at 6.00pm in full view of shooppers with kids, then has a fight with someone from another area. Gets beaten up, vomits all over his Matalan suit then has to get a taxi home which costs him £125 to go 20 miles because he's a fucking idiot.

Will go into the office on Monday, tell everyone he won £17,961 on the nags, drunk 18 bottles of Moet from a famous footballer's wife's minge and then fought 27 door men and knocked them all out.

[Richard]

Here are a couple from the book, I've posted some before I think.

 

scan0003 by RichardB5, on Flickr

 

 

scan0006 by RichardB5, on Flickr

 

 

 

DSC_0140 by RichardB5, on Flickr

 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/30854514@N08/sets/72157643498052145

[phil_lihp]

Love those drawings!

 

I have yet to transport any furniture, antique or otherwise, in my Volvo estate but will be rectifying this situation later this week.  I do not, however, possess any children and especially not ones called Bartholomew and Cassandra.  

[Shep Shepherd]

What's the title of this book? I want a copy!

 

I'm going to use the term 'dogmatic' instead of 'automatic' from now on to describe The Volvo's transmission

[Richard]

It's called The Bumper Book of Cartoons by Don Grant. There seem to be plenty of them on Abe Books http://www.abebooks.co.uk/servlet/SearchResults?an=don+grant&kn=cartoons&sts=t

[Shep Shepherd]

Excellent!

[Inspector Morose]

Got given that when I was a child. Absolutely brilliant! Volvo - yes, I know my lights are on. Plus the cartoons Volvo estate again with the kids behind the dig guard aand the labs on the back seat.

[HH-R]

Mk1 Focus often DLAC, usually 4 up of angry looking men right up your arse.

 

Mk2 Clio, whenever it rains there is at least 2 or 3 of these crashed at roundabouts??

 

Any Vauxhall: VERY aggressively driven. Almost never indicate, drive staight up your arse, can't park for shit, cut corners at T junctions, park in really stupid places. Corsa Cs and Ds often driven annoyingly slowly if owned by the older driver, young uns rag the balls out of them. Corsa Cs often found driving the wrong way up motorways and that. My heart sinks if I see one coming up behind.

 

Latest Fiesta, seen some bizarre driving by some owners of these, including the world's most slow motion crash between one and a Corsa on a roundabout.

 

Late 90s/early 00s Rovers, sadly fallen into bangerdom and ragged about with missing trims and dents.

 

Audis (they all look the same when they're 0.2 inches off your arse, I can't tell them apart) need I say more?

 

Qashqai/Puke/Sportage/Hyundai equivalent/Aldi Qwhatever: Usually on lease therefore the owner doesn't care it it gets a few battle scars, so GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!111 I HAVE A BIG CAR!!!! Stupid fairy lights on the front, right on eye level, great for burning out your retinas when they're trying to ram you off the road. Often parked badly, probably because they don't fit in any spaces?

[dieselnutjob]

I have noticed that I drive my 607 at about double the speed of any other 607 driver.  Well the other 3 that are left anyway.

[New POD]

Citroen Xsara Picasso: fat bastard and his enormous scowling wife, transporting their revolting sticky children to Maccy D's to shovel burgers into their obese, slack-jawed faces for the third time that day.

 

I give you Mrs Alison Cambell of Squirel Green Formby L37, employee of Tesco - You fucking bitch - Die you lying scum bag die.

 

In 2004 I overtook a piccasso, that was slowing and moving to left. She then turned into Tesco's staff car park, to the right. She admitted liability and said she was uninjured.  After a couple of days, she realised with no witnesses she could say she had whiplash and that she'd been indicating.  My insurance company immediately threw the towel in, paid an undisclosed sum to the bitch. I hope she fucking dies.  Did I say I hate all pissaco owners. 

The bloke I sat next to, at work, had a 'nice' Saxo VTR (standard and unmolested).  His wife fell pregnant, and he swpped it for a pissaco. I wouldn't talk to him for weeks after. Twat.

[robinmasters]

Obviously Tel the Cortina driver types now drive Audis, but those who were Tel have now grown up into middle-aged Daily Mail reading social climbers, who no longer measure their success by the size of their stereo but by the neatness of the lawn outside their bungalow. Still does a Ford saloon though, but it's a nearly-new Mondeo.

 

Small Hyundais. Driven by angry young men who wanted an A3 or a 1-series and still angry about not being able to afford one.

 

Fiat 500L/Mini Countryman. Young couples who share a car. Their house is entirely done out in shabby chic, and he has no testicles.

[Lord Sterling]

Rover - Men of good taste and distinction with impeccable manners and a sense of fair play. Generally appalled by the modern world and although law abiding citizens they find speed/parking cameras to be........well just not cricket

Agreed!

 

What does an old Merc say though, particularly an estate one? I never really noticed them so much before, but I guess they scream old money/workhorse?

[twosmoke300]

Vauxhall agila or Suzuki wagon r , blind , deaf and at least 80 . Usually seen driving over speed bumps so slowly they must think they are land mines . Strongly competing with silver Hondas as the most dangerous drivers out there .

[the judge]

Billy (cavcraft) is totally correct. also ring for an ambulance if toby has a sniffle. And follow behind in said audi. Wankers.

[MrFarkinBasz]

Nissan Micra 1.0 povo spec  - holding up BMWs and BINIs on a trunk road near you. 

 

And I'm not about to dispel that stereotype any time soon. 

[Lord Sterling]

What's the title of this book? I want a copy!

I want one too!

[DS20]

Vauxhall agila or Suzuki wagon r , blind , deaf and at least 80 . Usually seen driving over speed bumps so slowly they must think they are land mines . Strongly competing with silver Hondas as the most dangerous drivers out there .

 

I was about to post something similar. Only yesterday, I got stuck behind a ditherer in an Agila turning onto the A15 from the M180. Such was the OVERWHELMING TERROR of negotiating an empty, large roundabout that they had 3 false starts getting going, and then took nearly a minute to reach 44mph VMAX on the (dead-straight) A15.

[twosmoke300]

Oh and don't forget joining motorways / dual cabbageways at about 35mph

[Uncle Jimmy]

In Britain the Volvo driver is seen as a middle class, conservative, often elderly type. Conversely in the States Volvos are associated with beardy Denzel Dexter/ lefty commie types. I fit neither description being more of a nondescript cunt.

[Uncle Jimmy]

The Rover driver is another moot example. Veering from fusty old git plodding along in his P4, to the cad in his rakish new P6, to the flat capped coffin dodger married to Hyacinth Bucket.

[Uncle Jimmy]

Remember when mk1 Polos were the car of choice for partially incontinent Barbara Woodhouse specimens? (When they'd reluctantly scrapped their beloved Riley Elf)

[Taff]

Ahem

 

MGF, owned by a craggily good looking chap, broad of shoulder and firm of handshake. With a cheeky grin & stubbled chin, he drives his fine example of a hand-built British sports with a reckless abandon. Men want to be like him, women simply want him.

 

Especially MILFs from

Swindon.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Lord Sterling]

Many stereotypes do exist, but for some, it depends entirely on the area. Here is my version. I disliked writing this as its bullshit, but I am only going on my own personal experiences:

 

K11 Micra - Here in Birmingham they fit two stereotypes; One being driven by the smaller, slightly older and often bespectacled lady, dithering on the road keeping WELL to the speed limit, or they are also the staple of curry/pizza delivery drivers, bombing about usually between 7pm and midnight delivering hot foodstuffs to all sorts of places/areas, they are usually then badly parked up on the side road or in a dingy little private carpark at the rear of the fastfood outlet where their bored drivers are playing with thier phones waiting for yet another delivery (yes, I have been a delivery driver myself in the K11, ironic eh?) The car itself is seen as a problem by other road users that needs to be forcefully taken off the road, thier drivers are often on the receiving end of abuse by literally everyone.

 

X3/X5/XC90 et al... Driven by tanned up wannabe WAGS or wrinkled failed WAGS of owners of builders merchants/electrical shops/other small business types. They are often seen sporting huge bug-eye sunglasses emulating talentless celebrities. However, these vehicles (more so X5s and X3s than Volvos) can also be seen being driven by shaven headed muscular types who like to pretend to be fairly successful in work/business, the types who have outgrown the equally horrible E46 Coupe (sorry Tayne) where they believe they can no longer fit little Jack and Conner in the back so sticking with the marque (which, in his head makes him appear successful) opts to buy the horrible X3 or X5.

 

Citroen C4 Picasso/C8/Renault Scenic/Vauxhall Zafira/late 90s Ford - The staple of the council estate family. Modern enough to make them appear like they've got money, but throwaway enough to chuck when things go wrong and they have to borrow his or her Mums Corsa to get them to Tesco/Asda to buy yet more bottles of ADHD fuel for thier 10 children. Wife is usually a peroxide Blonde heffer with a scowl on her face, Husband is usually and ex-drug head who thinks he is the Tony Soprano of the road. They usually send their minions/children outside to cause trouble with other children/neighbours. When confronted though, husband usually backs down terrified at the thought of actually being punched in the face.

 

Rover - Either driven by people of impeccable taste, a cheap and easy alternative to keeping in with what was once a great name in the car industry. These people are usually fairly well off but wouldn't be seen driving foreign muck. Sadly they are also sometimes seen being driven by shaven headed loud mouthed arrogant racists, wannabe BNP members that loik eveyfing english mayte (yet they'll still happily eat curries from Mr Khan's takeaway), they have ferrous contacts with scrap metal dealers and motorcross bike ringing operations. They often look and act like travellers but live in a 1930s built council house.

 

Modern MG ZT/ZS/ZR - Driven by those who want something sporty/fast/Turbo-ey but don't want none of that "Jap Crap/ricer shit" yet they will aspire to a German sporty model or WRX. Young'uns drive the ZR because it's a small a modern-looking blob shape with big wheels and plastic parts pelted on the outside. Very little is paid to actual mechanical maintenance and much to zappy modifications/big farty exhausts/chopped springs and even more plastic stick-on shit.

ZSs are very, very rarely seen, usually owned by a quiet family chap who is looking for an alternative to an actual affair, it's the only outward bit of excitement that can be seen on this otherwise quiet family chap.

ZTs, often driven by the alternative to E46 BMW owners. Often angry over confident bullish types who hate thier BMW driving counterparts. They are often owners of small businesses or higher-end middle managers in small businesses. They are found on one-make forums pretending to know it all about everything and more and telling newbies to fuck off/stick to the rules like self promoted moderators. They usually chuck thier toys out of the pram when they are told to wind thier necks in by actual real moderators. Some ZT owners are friendly and approachable though but they are very hard to find.

 

Volvos - Driven by Scottish members of a secret organisation or quiet yet mysterious manager types who drive about in newer Volvos. The type of slightly older chap who holds some sort of mysterious position in a company yet no one knows exactly what he does or what his job is. What is known about him is that he very quiet, not often seen, quietly confident, receives a comfortable wage, wears nice 3-piece suits, keeps himself to himself. He is often seen attending managers meetings unless he is out on an all-expenses paid expedition for work (golfing, attending functions/football matches). He doesn't like being asked questions and never ever speaks to shop floor people. Any attempt at communication is met with an expression as if he is being spoken to by an alien in a completely foreign language, his response is a stuttering reply of vagueness.

 

Mid sized Japanese saloons/estates - If not being used as private hire cabs, they are more often than not driven by very stern/quiet heads of Asian households. Only ever seen in local Asian populated high streets, at the Mosque/Temple or outside hugely extended houses. They are never high/top spec cars but neither are they poverty-spec, some cars only ever receive one oil change a year. My father owns a high-spec Toyota Avensis Diesel estate, go figure.

 

New Skodas - Smaller models are often driven by, well, very normal but slightly lost looking people wondering where they are, many of these Skodas are zipping around but few are ever noticed. Bigger Skodas are starting to be taken over by the shirt 'n' tie man, the busy sales/office executive who hangs his jacket on the hook in the back, keeps his briefcase on the passenger seat and is always driving very fast to the next business meeting, he has all the traits of the BMW/Audi man but non the agression/stress. His Skoda is always often an electric Blue colour and he has that busy executive look on his face. Not quite the "inches off your rear bumper" type, yet.

 

VW Polo/Fox etc... - Driven by smugly happy yet clueless studenty or ex-studenty types. They often seem to have a slightly confused but nevertheless happy look on thier face as they bumble thier way to classes/new job/meeting other smugly happy yet clueless studenty types.

 

BINI - Often to be seen driven by pouting young ladies. They have a self-important image which is almost to a point of arrogance. They like to be seen to be "enjoying" life when everything is actually paid by a very expensive credit-card. Their goal in life is to join the ranks of the X5 driving WAGS at some point.

 

Late 90s/early 00s VW Golfs/Audi A3s - Once the staple diet of the wannabe E46 Coupe owner, something that they thought kept them in the "scene" and in the loop with young trendy people. Nowadays they have been passed into the hands of penniless wannabe ganagsters. They are often seen with badly blacked out windows and sometimes stupid add-on tat, not always taxed/MOT'd or Insured so is becoming a common site on 'Road Wars' type programmes as thier yoof owners argue and fight the Police because they've been pulled over for a broken light. Interior is often a sea of tired broken trim and ill-fitting stereos and treated like a man-bag.