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Grimmest car to pick up a date in


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Don't think I've ever picked a girl up in anything tatty (but I probably did just senile and forgot!) but I did once go up to Exmouth on a date with a lovely lass in a Mercedes 450SE. Old 116 version in silver. It was a nice car apart from it leaked like a sieve and so I'd covered all the interior in plastic bags.

 

The girl was very thoughtful for a while before I could convince her it wasn't about to be a murder scene with her in the staring role!

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  • 20 yrs ago I'd take my date (now my missus) out in the grim looking blue one. If that was off the road I'd use the grimmer silver one.  
  • Fast forward 20 yrs and I'm still in the same model (see profile pic). No silver one though nowadays. (P.S. Silver Datsun Bluebird wanted.)
  • Edit - Oh, and I also have a Ted Bundy Beetle (passenger seat removed and everything) complete with creepy reg plate. Haven't tried picking up a date in that.

Isn't the top one a Mazda Montrose?

WANT.

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I just looked it up because I seem to remember them using DS's in UFO, that could even be an SM, but...

Oh, Dear. I'll bet that flew...

 

I had a similar memory before I re-discovered UFO on ITV4 a few years back. I used towatch UFO as a kid, as Border TV used it as a filler programme in the '80s (they made much less regional programming than any other ITV franchise, so had loads of airtime to fill).

 

It turns out that Ed Bishop (AKA Commander Ed Straker) appeared in an episode of Columbo where he drove an SM. I must have seen this in the '80s as well, and formed a jumbled memory out of all of it.

 

Some contemporary cars did appear in UFO though. Even during filming in 1969/70 cars such as Porsche 914s were considered futuristic, so were shown unmodified as cars of the '80s in the show. The cars in the show are LHD as well, I seem to recall - even though it was largely set in England.

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  • 1 month later...

Yugo 45a. The end.

 

1978 FIAT 128. I win. To be fair, it went like hot snot, as a consequence of the FIAT self-lightening programme* of the era.

 

As one who is currently back in the dating game, can I just say that blonde ladies, 40-60, employed, within 30 mile radius seem to love a chap with a convertible. And the current front runner took me out in her '04-plated Beetle ragtop on sunday. Looks promising.

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The last Lady Slow preferred my tatty and terminally broken SAAB 9000 to my Stag.

 

12679115685_a1769daefc_b.jpg

 

stag.jpg

 

Sadly, this is not because she was an Ubershiter in the making, but because on a late J plate it's fifteen years newer. She genuinely thought people would ridicule the Stag because it was old, and that the only thing it said about me was that I was poor. She frequently tried urging me to sell the lot for a modern car (Classic motor noter, no ta!) and was a big advocate of public transport.

 

For that, and various other reasons, she didn't last long...

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The last Lady Slow preferred my tatty and terminally broken SAAB 9000 to my Stag.

 

Sadly, this is not because she was an Ubershiter in the making, but because on a late J plate it's fifteen years newer. She genuinely thought people would ridicule the Stag because it was old, and that the only thing it said about me was that I was poor. She frequently tried urging me to sell the lot for a modern car (Classic motor noter, no ta!) and was a big advocate of public transport.

 

For that, and various other reasons, she didn't last long...

 

Needless to say, I had the last laugh.

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  • 7 months later...

Not sure if it's the grimmest car to pick up a date in, but one particular incident stands out with the Stellar (apart from the lesbian trousers...) when I was collecting a girl who I'd met in a club at the previous weekend. In an attempt to impress I'd thought it best to give the car a bit of a clean, so that it would match my freshly scrubbed appearance. So I found a drive through car wash, went in, wound down the window (very slowly due to an ageing motor) and put in the money.

 

With the window halfway back up I noticed that I had forgotten to push the aerial back in, so I wound the window down again, and tried and reach the aerial. No such luck, so I decided to open the door, get out and push it down that way. By the time I got to the aerial the roller brushes had begun to spin and douse me with soapy water, so I quickly got back in the car and started to try and get the window up as fast as possible.

 

Unfortunately not fast enough to prevent another soaking as the brushes moved over the car. I was trying to pull up the window with one hand, the other on the button but the bristles were surprisingly abrasive on my fingers. And my aerial still got snapped off! It wasn't the best preparation for the evening ahead, although I did get to the pub on time, and met her a couple of times after that...
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Two that spring to mind are the 79 Mustang with a leaky screen, had to put a coat on her lap to stop the drips

 

Other bad one was an XR4x4 Sierra on a cold night, we got on lovely and as the night was drawing to a close on a cold winter night parked on a bridlepath with the engine running and heaters on, things were getting heated and so was the car, clouds of steam coming from the engine....

 

Turned it off and carried on turning her on and had a great evening anyway ☺

 

Two head gaskets gone, but well worth it

 

Wish I still had that car. Not so much the girl though

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I've always managed to be jammy and have the lady offer to pick me up, which works for me as I drive all day so can't be arsed with it on a night time and can then indulge in some Dutch Courage. So, putting the shoe on the other foot, the grimmest car I've been picked up in was a mk4 Astray that had the oil pressure warning light on and sounded like it was days away from throwing a rod.

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I ended up taking a lass out on a date about 4 years ago, the daughter of a rich bloke my mum knew (£millions+). Quite a bonny lass but had definitely mostly been in the company of fairly well to do people all her life so I was definitely a bit of rough.

She was about 21 but still lived with her dad and brother in this great big massive house with a 3/4 mile long gated private drive and all the rest.

 

I turned up in this:

t266U.jpg

 

Which at the time just had some old wheels and a gearbox sliding round in the back of it.

 

On the way down the pitch black private drive to get to her house I smashed over a speed bump at about 30mph and it fired the gearbox onto its side, where it emptied 145k, 25 year old gearbox oil all over the floor in the back of the van. I didn't realise this til I was pulled up outside her house on the pristine stone paving and I noticed the stench. I jumped into the back to see about half a litre of the stuff dribbling its way out of one of the several massive holes that were randomly drilled in the floor of the van.

 

I made my apologies for the smell and the oil on the drive, and all things considered the date went pretty well, We had a couple more afterwards and funnily enough she drove instead.

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Picked up old Liz (actually young Liz since she was 19) at her mom & dad's house in my '62 AMC Metropolitan. Think Austin B-55 motor with an odd-looking 1954 Nash body designed by Pininfarina and built by Fisher & Ludlow in Longbridge. It was 1976, so just a seriously cheesy old POS. My mom bought it for me for $100. We made it to the cinema a mile on, but the hydraulic clutch was pretty porous to the world and when I was ready to whisk her away somewhere 2 hours later...it would not permit any use of the change-gear while, say, moving.

 

Being the master of Plan B, I decided we had an electric car, and I drove off with the starter on but in 2nd gear. At some point the engine actually came online, and I was able to drive somewhere in 2nd using the mighty 55h.p. engine. I don't remember if my date's parents saw the Metro(Dad was an engineering professor), but fear THEY DID. The Metro was in awful shape...it had been rolled, one door hinge had rusted off and it looked like a clown car...but girls liked it on some subliminal level.

 

Some trivia on these cars...Paul Newman, Pee Wee Herman and Jimmy Buffet have owned one; Alma Cogan and Graham Stark have owned one(they are English people I don't know about); Lois Lane drove one in "Superman"; Elvis had one, but he seems to have bought one of everything; Princess Margaret was given one by an Austin dealer(Car Mart, Ltd. in London) in 1960 as  a wedding present. Black with gold leather upholstery, someone nicked it 6 months later...or she got  tired of it and left it on the docks with the keys in it. No doubt it will turn up and be worth megabucks. These seem to have been sold in the UK as Austin Metropolitans, to the tune of 9,200 units! I was thinking 9 units.

 

 

1959_Nash_Metropolitan_answer_1_xlarge.jThis is about what mine looked like, but mine was more decrepit.                                  photo by sodahead

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The rusty Renault 5 mk1 I had in 1991 was a babe magnet. I think the ladeez assumed because it was cute they would be safe with me. Which to be fair they were as I didn't have much confidence then. I had quite a few "green lights" which I failed to recognise at the time in that car. Idiot...

 

When I met Mrs P I had just bought my first new car and I took her out in it (2000 model Fiesta Zetec). She took one look at it and said "is that it?". Wasnt impressed.

 

Wasn't the first time she said that during the course of that day either!

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When I met the now wife, I was driving this:

 

post-17573-0-99559000-1447754908_thumb.jpg

 

Check out the interior - 220k miles of stainage.

 

post-17573-0-86983100-1447754929_thumb.jpg

 

Our first couple of dates were in neutral venues so the van was mentioned but not seen.

 

Anyway not long into the relationship the bastarding thing broke down and had to be abandoned in an Aldi car park in Bradford - Biodiesel + prince of darkness pump = all the diesel leaked out of it along Manchester Road.

 

I recruited her to help me tow it back home on a solid bar with her Peugeot 206.

 

I drove the Peugeot, we didn't have to tow it far but it still wasn't fun, the 1.4 tower of power in the Peugeot required some abuse to get going, and the back bumper and towing eye got a bit* damaged with some "tail wagging the dog" moments navigating Bradford's many mini roundabouts.

 

Amazingly, she didn't run a mile or shout at me for damaging her car, and we're now married with babies etc.

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Had a bad year relationship wise with Mrs Beard 15 years ago and we split up for a few months.. All history now and mended thankfully! During those months I had a REALLY shit Landrover lightweight that a mate lent me owing to having no car at the time. It was fitted with a shagged out BMC taxi engine and the fuel tank was a 25 litre drum under the seat.

Being temporarily single, and working in a factory I really fancied my chances with the receptionist. We got on well, had a lot of laughs and she asked me out.. I agreed and went to meet her as arranged.

She took one look at the Landrover and started to make her excuses. She actually ridiculed me for driving such a vehicle! I realised then that I was a massive idiot and crawled back to Mrs B.

Thus endeth my time dating gurlz.

Mrs B may not be entirely* happy with my choice of cars, but she puts up with/pays for them/ doesn't ridicule me.

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