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FIAT, BELLAMY, VINYL - THE ULTIMATE SHITE PACKAGE


andrew e

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Going off slightly at a tangent but I still have the Mondeo launch video that was attached to an edition of What Car back in the day, it's hilarious to watch it now and see Jackie Stewart waxing lyrical about something that would now be wallowing its way through its twilight MOTs.

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I once told Judith Chalmers to f*ck off as she was blocking the view, told Thatcher to copulate away (very therapeutic that was I can assure you) and threatened to throw Giles Brandreth down a stairway (in my darker days).All that pales into insignificance though compared to the day I waved to Alvin Stardust as he drove past me as he commented on The Milk Race, think it was circa 1976-ish and he was in a Wolsely Princess wedge iirc.

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He looks just like a garden gnome.Did I ever tell you about the time I trod on that woman who used to play Ivy Tyldsley out of corries foot? By gods she could swear.

Oh my dad stood on Roger Moore's foot at Heathrow airport once, and he gave him a trademark disapproving raised eyebrow look!Pretty good eh?
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I recall having a book by David Bellamy which wasn't an I-Spy one, more like a "Big Book of Cars" or something. Any ideas what that was? Quite fancy picking it up for nostalgia sake.I've not met anyone remotely famous, but I was at a Butlins for a weekend 2-3 years ago (forced to attend by extended family; spent most of it being "ill" and quietly reading car magazines in my room) and one night I spotted Keith Harris had left his quite old Mercedes E-Class (ORV 1L) outside totally unattended, so I had a proper good look at it and there was a box on the back seat which I can only assume contained Orville itself. Does that count?

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and one night I spotted Keith Harris had left his quite old Mercedes E-Class (ORV 1L) outside totally unattended

He still has a black Merc with that plate as I see it round here quite a bit. Roy Walker lives in Fairhaven too and used to come into my branch of Woolies (when I worked there and I am very thankful that I pulled out and transferred my Kingfisher Pension when I did) - I remember him buying a tape for a present once by the Dubliners - he had a choice of two and he chose the cheapest one. I also once shared a table (whilst working at Limehouse Studios) with Chris Barrie, he had the Moussakka too - we didnt talk about cars, which was a shame. (in a past life before becoming a nurse I wanted to work in telly and managed to meet several celebs before I realised that a career as a cameraman want ever going to happen and wasnt as glam as I thought it would be).
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We seem to have ex-employees of both MFI and Woolies here..... employershite as well as autoshite? My place seems to be on its last legs too.....

I was going to join in the random automotive compilations fun but my camera's playing up so you'll just have to imagine my 1994 Renault Clio promotional CD... I also have a Seat cassette somewhere at my parents' house...

Just the one Renault CD? I had two.... I think my mum had been to the Renault dealer at the bottom of our street in late '93 to look at the 19 as a possible lease car, and got on their mailing list. I had two different Renault compilation CDs, an umbrella and a charming yellow and black wristwatch. Never did get the 19, ended up with an Astra TD instead.
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We seem to have ex-employees of both MFI and Woolies here..... employershite as well as autoshite? Just the one Renault CD? I had two.... I think my mum had been to the Renault dealer at the bottom of our street in late '93 to look at the 19 as a possible lease car, and got on their mailing list. I had two different Renault compilation CDs, an umbrella and a charming yellow and black wristwatch. Never did get the 19, ended up with an Astra TD instead.

I had a Renault pac-a-mac once, about the only thing I ever did get out of them, I think they did produce some wonderful tat though.Woolies - I worked for them between 1986 and 1992, in 1990 I managed to blag my way onto the in house management training scheme and was part of the team that introduced "Excellence" training for the staff and "Warm Fuzzies". Not a bad place to work for, but me and my manager had lots of differences of opinions and in the end we had a blazing row so i threw the store keys at her and told her to find someone else to open up and went off and became a nurse (not planned, it sort of happened by accident) and didnt regret the job change one bit - loads more quim in nursing, loads. Very glad I sold all my profit share "woolies" shares back in 92 as well.
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I've got a promotional 7" record somewhere for Datsun, either B11 Sunny or T11 Stanza's. I'll see if i can dig it out. Amazingly, I've never actually played it so I've no idea what's on it.

 

Talking of famous people. I snapped this classy old chassis last weekend...

 

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What a lovely neat pussy.I recall those I-Spy books quite fondly, even as a child I was confused by Bellamys pro-eco stance and his love of cars. The scoring system was bizarre and I felt like writing in to the publishers. How can a Lancia Gamma only be worth 10 points, when the ubiquitous Datsun Bluebird was worth 15. My closest brush with 'fame' was drunkenly pesting the lead singer of Neds atomic dustbin at Washington Heights in Reading and finding out he owned a Morris Minor traveller. I used to come across a lot of DJ's in a previous line of work but I don't think they count.

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Washington Heights! What a craphole that place was.My mate once mooned Fred Dineage through the sunroof of his mum's Previa. And Bjork kicked up a stink in front of me and Mrs W at the Heathrow metal detectors a couple of years back when asked to remove her shoes. She is small and scary all right.Also, I met Branson a few months back (he is my ultimate boss, after all) - much bigger (taller and stockier) than you'd credit. I thought he'd be a beardy midget like Noel Edmonds, for some reason.I do believe I have an Austin-Rover (or might be Lex Leasing) cassette by Kenneth Williams somewhere abouts, came out of my uncle's Montego back in the day.

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