I am at Beaulieu Autojumble Surrounded By Rust.

[RoadworkUK]

Hello.

 

I'm at the Beaulieu Autojumble, somewhere I've never been before. It's world famous; folk from all four corners of the Globe come here in the hope of locating some arcane, bewildering component from their 1909 St Rhone Pointless Du Croissant 3CV. It's enormous. From where I'm standing it appears to stretch all the way to the Mediterranean.

 

I'll take photographs of the autojumbliness of it all later, but first:- Some Cars.

 

 

This is an XR4i. You can tell that because it's being leant on by a man with an arm full of tattoos. It's being sold for £Two Large under the proud boast that it's in original condition.

 

A question for the assembled:- Is that a valid excuse for not replacing the manky, rusty front foglights?

 

 

This is a Cadillac Seville, hailed as the first sort-of-compact Cadillac. It's still humungous but only the size of an Invincible class aircraft carrier rather than a Nimitz class. It was 4 SALE here but I didn't make a note of how much money for.

 

My guess is that you're not in the market anyway, so you're probably cool with that.

 

 

NOT a Cortina. A Taunus, all Lefthooky and driven here from Sweden via some form of boat.  I think it was for sale for like three thousand Euros or something but I didn't make a note because as far as I'm concerned that's a million pounds.

 

I can check TOMOZ if anybody wants to WIN ALL OF TIME with an epic collection fred FROM SWEDEN.

 

 

Most best is that you can see a little red button on the right of the centre console for the ARCTIC TUNDRA BUMWARMERS.

 

Magnificent. Buy it!!!!!

 

Or. Buy this:

 

 

It's a Volvo 360GLE from that period where they had increased their elegance fourfold by getting rid of the gopping headlights. It's really really clean, this. 

 

 

It, too, is for sale, for an amount of money that I made absolutely no record of, but I don't mind because I know that one of you bastards would end up welding the diff, slamming it and treating it as the drift weapon it truly is. THIS PLACE etc.

 

 

This is would be a very nice E24 six-series if it hadn't been painted with Clover margarine. Hold out yer ahnd; £13K.

 

 

I bet you were all worried that there'd be no 800 content in this thread. Well, you're welcome. It's a '97 Sterling KV6 with its transmission set up to accommodate the monolegged. It's done 83k, which is 17 more than mine. (Massive Personal Victory) It's got an imitation vinyl roof, too, which is novel.

 

 

RONG RIMS M8. In fact there's wrongness all over this car, some of it possibly involving a bodyshop employee on a huge caffiene rush and a compulsion for finding new bits of car to paint. The tidemark was applied pre-emptively.

 

 

One for our resident sphere-lickers here. This was very, very clean on the outside...

 

 

...and the loony early BX dash is intact, complete with chrome fronted Tandy radio cassette.

 

 

GT. You knows it.

 

MOAR soon.

 

 

 

[mercrocker]

Been there all day....Should have waved!

[RoadworkUK]

Been there all day....Should have waved!

 

4 Real? Goodness. I'll be back again tomorrow. You'll probably see me somewhere stroking myself off in front of a box marked "Car Brochures £1".

[eddyramrod]

If you happen across any Talbot Sunbeam front indicators, or a six-dial dash for same... Seriously!  don't pay more than a tenner for the dash or a pair of lenses though...

That Cadillac Seville is a later model, with FWD.  The first of the "small" Sevilles was made from about 1977, and was RWD.  I think the changeover was for the 81 model year, but I could be a year or two out...

[mercrocker]

Went through them, not much left in there!   No, I didn't buy much only a clutch for the Cowley ready for the inevitable engine change later on.   Had a good blunder round the whole place as I usually do.   Don't forget the trunk traders bit on the Sunday morning (a glorified boot sale but often some good tat to be had).  Me, I am off to the beach for a last (probably) cook-out and chill-out in the T25.   Domestic balance, and all that...Enjoy!

[fordperv]

Excellent, i think the reason that he hasn't replaced the fog lights on the xr4i will probably be more down to them commanding lots of omgosfRStax on mong bay because they are the same as 3 door cosworths and escort cosworths

[Shep Shepherd]

My aunt had a 343 just like that as a new car back in 1983. She claimed it was heavier to drive than my uncle's 1982 245...

[RoadworkUK]

Hello again.

 

I've eaten my £9.95 Pizza at the Holiday Inn Express. To help me out by addressing any doubts I may have had as regards the quality of my evening meal, the description of it on the menu as "Chicago Town Pepperoni Pizza" reassured me that it would be exactly the same as the one I enjoyed at home after buying it in Iceland for three quid.

 

On with the show.

 

 

Mint V.Late MK1 Tranny pickup, ideal for driveway tarmacadam purveyors with pride in their appearance circa 1990.

 

 

This E-Type was advertised as being sold with a fresh MOT, which means you can basically drive as is, and inspires my next question:

 

Is there any more cool vehicle to drive than a shabby E-Type? No. There isn't. Oh, apart from this:

 

 

This Alvis is pre-59, which is handy. I reckon I'd paint the edges of all the holes with Kurust, varnish the whole thing and drive as is.

 

 

1960'S MAGAZINES £1 EACH FUCKTONNES OF THEM. Splurge

 

 

Actually the C64 was Seven pound. Astoundingly my desire to own this is balanced perfectly by the importance of my not buying it. It is ESSENTIAL that I don't bring another "Historic" piece of home electronics back to the fort where it will sit in our second bedroom along with the Atari ST, the Sega Saturn and the SNES not being used and gathering dust.

 

I'll probably buy it tomorrow.

 

 

Will you take the hideous red rubber-bumpered abortion or the pert little well maintained yellow beauty for your fifteen hundred quid?

 

The choice is all yours.

 

 

Crivens. This is my entry for this years "Contraptions of Guaranteed Peril" shortlist. Lets just zoom in on the bit where it all goes a bit fucking mental.

 

 

The "Wall Auto Wheel" is not something I've ever come across before but I reckon it would be a giggle to attatch one to a kiddies bicycle in lieu of stabilizers.

 

 

This is a switch panel from a Sea King heli and I actually bought it and am going outside RIGHT NOW to hack my dashboard around and fit it in my Rover, because it's got all digital readouts and flashing neons. And everything's labelled using a Dymo. I'm going to label everything in my car using a Dymo, like SPEEDOMETER, VOLUME, ARMREST etc.

 

 

If an eight wheeled DS with an SM sitting on the back doesn't cause you involuntary penile palpitations then you should feel ashamed of yourself. Yoghurt dropped literally everywhere.

 

 

Granny MK2 Estate is the CORRECT way to arrive at Beaulieu. Sheer class.

 

 

FUNNIEST THING I EVER SAW. Actually I've seen number plates with both POO and NOB on them, and laughed uncontrollably for at least 24hrs both times.

 

 

I bought a MK1 Honda Prelude and I have literally no regrets whatsoever. Opening doors, tilting seats, £2. BARG.

[fordperv]

I really hope their slogan is "Condom auto service, the safe name in servicing"

[barrett]

Hey Earl, I am "at work" on stand G116, come and say hello! Not right now obvs, I am having a fag outside my hotel. Tomorrow. Already seen two serial shiteists so far. Oh, we're not in the programming for some reason but we do exist

[RoadworkUK]

Excellent, i think the reason that he hasn't replaced the fog lights on the xr4i will probably be more down to them commanding lots of omgosfRStax on mong bay because they are the same as 3 door cosworths and escort cosworths

 

Really? Spose that makes sense. I never considered that they should be in such short supply. Reminds me how awesome my Dad's Ghia was.

[RoadworkUK]

Hey Earl, I am "at work" on stand G116, come and say hello! Not right now obvs, I am having a fag outside my hotel. Tomorrow. Already seen two serial shiteists so far. Oh, we're not in the programming for some reason but we do exist

 

You're seriously 15 metres from where a gazillion priceless pieces of automotive literature have been accidentally placed on sale for a quid each! Buy them all while you get the chance!

[fordperv]

There's a grim pair on ebay at the mo for £90 b.i.n £10 postage but I've seen real good sets go well into 3 figures

[RoadworkUK]

There's a grim pair on ebay at the mo for £90 b.i.n £10 postage but I've seen real good sets go well into 3 figures

 

If it gets to the point that an XR4i goes above my price ceiling I'll probably spiral into an inescapable depression and have to end it all.

[fordperv]

A nice standard one would be worth buying and keeping wrapped in cotton wool because they will go up in value especially as they are a sport model which are getting thinner on the ground and a hell of alot of them ended up getting that lovely split window pillar cut out to put a cosworth type window in its place losing its individuality to the standard 3 door shell and turned into a cosworth replica

[Junkman]

That Cadillac Seville is a later model, with FWD.  The first of the "small" Sevilles was made from about 1977, and was RWD.  I think the changeover was for the 81 model year, but I could be a year or two out...

 

The very, very, very first Cadillac Seville was the 1959 Eldorado Seville, a hardtop version of the Eldorado Biarritz.

It made a return for 1960, then the moniker was ditched until May 1975, when the "compact" (only in the American sense of the word)

Cadillac Seville was launched as an early 1976 model. It was built with various facelifts until Autumn 1979, when the "bustleback"

Seville was introduced as a 1980 model, based on the K-body FWD platform, which it shared with the Eldorado, Buick Riviera, and

Oldsmobile Toronado. The Seville is considered a highly successful range, it sold really well. Weird that they buried it unceremoniously.

 

[/anorak mode]

 

Jayzuz, the scary bit is that I know all this. I feel like being one of those guys I'm really frightened of. You know, the ones you show a

3500 badge and they can tell you they were only used on P6es from chassis number 631975 to 632489 on models for the German

and French markets. You have these slowcoaches on every forum. Terrible stuff.

 

Oh, and Eldorado is the only Cadillac model designation without a ligature. Man, I should really get a life...

Well, strictly speaking, it's Fleetwood Eldorado, so there you go.

 

I know, I get my anorak.

[laser wheels]

There's a grim pair on ebay at the mo for £90 b.i.n £10 postage but I've seen real good sets go well into 3 figures

 

Oh. Brilliant.

[richardmorris]

Hey, I've got one of those corgi preludes. It was the only model I had (must have been 12 yrs old or so) with a plastic sunroof.

[Partridge]

I had the GF down here so wasn't able to go. Just as well because I would end up coming home with a shit old car...

[dugong]

I went yesterday. For work.

 

In an MG6. It didn't end well.

[Partridge]

I saw your status. Should have given me a bell, I'd have come and got you.

[dugong]

I saw your status. Should have given me a bell, I'd have come and got you.

I was stuffed, really. Was a company car so couldn't fiddle around with it \ leave it anywhere.

[Partridge]

I did wonder what the hell you were doing in an MG6.

[dugong]

I did wonder what the hell you were doing in an MG6.

SUMMARY OF YESTERDAY:

 

7am: Get to works' car park with key to brand-new, two-day old MG6 in hand.

 

7.02am: MG6 refuses to start because of gearbox sensor fault.

 

9.30am: Fluke starting MG6, drive to Beaulieu in a massive rush because of lost time.

 

11.30am: Desperately need the toilet but don't want to risk car refusing to start again. Have slash in lay-by.

 

11.31am: Put MG6 into gear and stall. MG6 refuses to start because of ongoing gearbox fault.

 

11.50am: Eventually arrive at Beaulieu having fluked re-start of MG6.

 

11.52am: Pick up press pass with engine running. 'Never going to get fooled again' on the radio. Oddly appropriate.

 

11.59am: Squint for a parking space while stationary. Revs drop and engine stalls. MG6 does not re-start. Dutch bloke helps me push it into a space.

 

17.58pm: Praying MG6 will restart. MG6 will not re-start.

 

18.11pm: Ring MG Assistance who insist the car is a Maestro despite its '64 plate. I've had enough at this point and want to go home, and ask for the car to be low-loadered. 'Following procedure' MGA want to send a mechanic to diagnose in the showground. I tell them it's a waste of time and they may as well send the flat-bed now. Battery earth terminal hanging off - on a new car that was PDI'd two days ago. Re-fit and cross fingers.

 

18.13pm: MG6 decides it is not in neutral and therefore will not start. MG6 is, in fact, in neutral.

 

17.15pm: Mechanic arrives. Mechanic is not allowed to dissassemble the car to trace fault. A top bloke, make no mistake - he imported a Ford Escort 1600 Sport from SA and shows me the pictures. We both agree there's a gearbox fault.

 

20.55pm: Recovery arrives.

 

23.20pm: Arrive at South Mimms services to swap flatbeds.

 

01.35am: Arrive back at Peebo. Try to push MG6 into car-park, steering lock jams on. Manage to re-set the steering lock. Dump MG6 in disgust in car park leaving towing eye attached.

 

02.15am: Arrive home.

[Bren]

At least there looks to be some bargains as opposed to the usual shite that is offered - haggling is strictly forbidden and any attempt is answered with "i would sooner take it home".

 

Which is what happens.

[Lord Sterling]

...MG6 woes...

Oh dear, doesn't sound great, a bit like the old days of Rover I guess. I still want an MG6 though.....

[PiperCub]

Went yesterday too, it's the closest an athiest like me gets to going on a pilgrimage - to rust! Have been to pretty much every one for the last 20 years or so. Living fairly close by (though used to live only four miles away and get in for free) helps this dedication.

 

Not easily impressed but the DS transporter with the SM on the back was totally amazing, definately not something you see everyday!!

 

Even if I'm not really in the market for anything, I thoroughly enjoy a wander round and always come back with some useful stuff. As I tell friends, I'm off to wander round a field looking at old shite - they know what I mean by now and no longer question the sanity or otherwise of such actions.

[Junkman]

SUMMARY OF YESTERDAY:

 

7am: Get to works' car park with key to brand-new, two-day old MG6 in hand.

 

7.02am: MG6 refuses to start because of gearbox sensor fault.

 

9.30am: Fluke starting MG6, driving to Beaulieu in a massive rush because of lost time.

 

11.30am: Desperately need the toilet but don't want to risk car refusing to start again. Have slash in lay-by.

 

11.31am: Put MG6 into gear and stall. MG6 refuses to start because of ongoing gearbox fault.

 

11.50am: Eventually arrive at Beaulieu having fluked re-start of MG6.

 

11.52am: Pick up press pass with engine running. 'Never going to get fooled again' on the radio. Oddly appropriate.

 

11.59am: Squint for a parking space while stationary. Revs drop and engine stalls. MG6 does not re-start. Dutch bloke helps me push it into a space.

 

17.58pm: Praying MG6 will restart. MG6 will not re-start.

 

18.11pm: Ring MG Assistance who insist the car is a Maestro despite its '64 plate. I've had enough at this point and want to go home, and ask for the car to be low-loadered. 'Following procedure' MGA want to send a mechanic to diagnose in the showground. I tell them it's a waste of time and they may as well send the flat-bed now. Battery earth terminal hanging off - on a new car that was PDI'd two days ago. Re-fit and cross fingers.

 

18.13pm: MG6 insists it is not in neutral and therefore will not start. MG6 is in neutral.

 

17.15pm: Mechanic arrives. Mechanic is not allowed to dissassemble the car to trace fault. A top bloke, make no mistake - he imported a Ford Escort 1600 Sport from SA and shows me the pictures. We both agree there's a gearbox fault.

 

20.55pm: Recovery arrives.

 

23.20pm: Arrive at South Mimms services to swap flatbeds.

 

01.35am: Arrive back at Peebo. Try to push MG6 into car-park, steering lock jams on. Manage to re-set the steering lock. Dump MG6 in disgust in car park leaving towing eye attached.

 

02.15am: Arrive home.

 

Sounds like a normal day out with the d00mt RBM.

[Fabergé Greggs]

Was the bx for sale?

[PiperCub]

Yes it was in the Automart bit.