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Drive away for £200, the cheapest of cheap shite thread


Sloth in a bowl

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If the Good Life were remade today, Jerry would definitely drive one of these. In fact I would as well as I have the horn for Volvo S80’s. This one is wonderful, yes the mileage is high and a light is on but it has a lot of MOT giving the buyer a good few months to woo Penelope Keith while trying not to look at Felicity Kendals arse or make Richard Briers feel inadaquate.

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volvo/volvo-s80-auto/1336471401

 

Buy this and realise you only need £200 to become one of life’s winners.

 

Penelope Keith though...terrifying and compelling in equal measure

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If the Good Life were remade today, Jerry would definitely drive one of these. In fact I would as well as I have the horn for Volvo S80’s. This one is wonderful, yes the mileage is high and a light is on but it has a lot of MOT giving the buyer a good few months to woo Penelope Keith while trying not to look at Felicity Kendals arse or make Richard Briers feel inadaquate.

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volvo/volvo-s80-auto/1336471401

 

Buy this and realise you only need £200 to become one of life’s winners.

 

Penelope Keith though...terrifying and compelling in equal measure

Jerry used to drive from Surbition to the centre of London each day in his Volvo 144 to work apparently. It must have been a pig of a drive in those days...and today he would go through the congestion charge and possibly the ULEZ too. But how times change.

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Jerry should buy this then

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/ford/ford-fusion-1.4/1336373238

 

Much more sensible even if it is being sold with a slippy clutch by someone with a made up name. For the money this actually looks pretty normal and usable. Pop in a clutch and bingo. Even better, do it yourself at the side of the road using nothing more than an imperial socket set your Grandad left you and the jack the car came with in order to save enough money to pay for the chiropractic work you’ll need afterwards.

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  • 3 weeks later...

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Voltswagon-Golf-Mk4-TDI-130-hp-Spares-or-Repair/133036914084

"Voltswagon" Golf 3 hours left going for £168... possible this thread territory?

 

✔ MOT till June

✔ Frontal damage "caused by ASDA reversing into it".... ???

✔ Comes with "coolant expatiation tank"

✔ NOT taxed to get you home m8..... "swon" status

✔ Dead cow interior

✔ One glow plug on strike

✔ Moon mileage... 280 000

 

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  • 1 month later...

Ah Brendan, at last an advert on Gumtree that is relatively clear and understandable.  Sadly it leaves me with very little to take the piss out of.  

If I was a five eighths scale model of myself with £175 burning a hole in my five eighths scale trousers, i’d be on this like a five eighths scale Tramp on some slightly greater than half size chips

https://www.gumtree.com/p/fiat/fiat-cinquecento-for-sale-good-condition-for-her-age-and-worth-a-good-look/1343521535

 

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More prizes to Lynne who again has surprised me by describing this as pretty much what it is.

https://www.gumtree.com/p/suzuki/small-run-around-current-mot/1343570664

MOT to November and it’s a muthaflippin Suzuki Ignis.  Make sure you bring some adhesive with you, such as Copydex or Gloy Gum for that seventies primary school reminiscence to stick that rubbing strip back on.  Honestly Lynne, that was just sloppy.  

 

 

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Brrrrring brrring, brrrr (click)

”Morning, Appropriate Number Plates for you, Nick speaking, how can I help?”

”Yeah alright mate, got this car yeah and wondered if you had anything that accentuates is features, you got anything?”

”Heh heh, oh yes sir, I think I might have the very thing!”

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/ford/ford-fiesta-1.3-cheap-/1343646643

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Ipswich £175.

Quote

Bodywork in really good condition with just a few age related marks. Yesterday the clutch thrust bearing gave up the ghost, according to local garage, and obviously will need replacing, otherwise mechanically tidy as only done 54000 miles. 10 and half months MOT remaining. Car still drives and engages gear but very noisy when depressing clutch.

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1 hour ago, BL Bloke said:

Actually this would take it to 4 as I've also got a 2013 Skoda Fabia that I've had for the past four years.  I am thinking of selling the Skoda and using the proceeds to keep the others going.

Nooo, you need a couple more cars, actually one for each day of the week.

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