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Drive away for £200, the cheapest of cheap shite thread


Sloth in a bowl

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https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/2021592901466499

 

£200 - 2002 FIAT Seicento - Southampton,

 

Seller's Description

Took this in as part exchange and to be honest no idea what to do with it. It’s MOT is valid until 15th March and it works as it should. Been sat for about a month and started on the button today. This car is by no means an oil painting actually it’s pretty hideous. But it drives and if someone wants a cheap car then this is it. Scraps for £85 so if someone wants to give £200 you can save it from car heaven Less

 

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2006 Mazda 3  - 86000m - Royston, England
 

£200

Seller's Description

The car has been in the family for years but I have a new car now so no need for this.

The gear box need looking at the second gear has gone it’s been like this for over a year now but other then that not much wrong with it.

Has mot until may I’m selling as spares or repairs

 

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There are many cars which have appreciated significantly owing to style, quality and rarity. Names such as Mercedes Gullwings, original Mini Coopers, MG’s, Jaguars and fast Fords have all proven to be strong investment performers over the years.

 

Of course we all want to know the next big thing and I can reliably inform you all that this is going to be the Peugeot 307. Why do I say this? Well don’t take my word for it, Seed is a man who knows. In fact Seed is being so careful to keep this under wraps, he has listed it as an A class Mercedes.

 

As he says it starts fine but can’t drive, a piffling issue which can easily be resolved for not much surely. In the future, buyers will be less interested in issues such as quality and style, instead concentrating on mediocrity and niggly electrical faults with the full backing of a dealer network which has always operated under the mantra of “not my fucking problem pal”

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/mercedes-benz/great-investment-bargain-car-/1324807898

 

Prices are rock bottom right now and that’s only likely to be the case for another twenty years or so, but if you get in now before the smart money and the HIAB drivers do, you could be sitting on a pretty penny. Quite literally a penny.

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Leanne on the other hand makes no promises. This thing has an MOT to next December, and despite the arrival of the EML light is only £200. Might be something minor?

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/ford/ford-fiesta/1324804334

 

Verdict - WCPGW?

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Did you know that “De Jong” is Dutch for junior? Well you do now.

 

Matt Junior here is selling a Saxo. Looks alright, some minor issues to sort but with baking potatoes costing £1 per kilo at the moment, would you rather have 200kg of potato’s or 900kg of Citroen Saxo for the same money?

 

Do the maths, that’s four and a half times more weight of something for the same financial outlay. Pound for pound you get four and half times more Saxo than you do potato’s. That’s man maths in action right there....

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/citroen/citroen-saxo-forte-low-mileage-mot-until-april/1322725957

 

Obviously if you run some sort of potato emporium your priorities will differ

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Not sure what Mahendran means and I can’t be arsed to look it up but I would wager that it may mean ‘slightly delusional’

 

This flat green Piss Hat comes complete with minor body damage and a series of photos posed to accentuate its good points. Which probably explains why he decided to photograph it at night. Great work Mahendran!

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volkswagen/car-for-sale-/1323894807

 

Comes complete with personalised plate. I spoke to my friend Rigi Kru who can’t see it. Nor can Kenneth Reginald Urqhart who lives next door. Still, Piss Hat, £200, what more do you want? 200kgs of potato’s?

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It’s a conundrum I am sure all of us have faced at one time or another. The urgent need to move 200kg of potato’s from point A to point B but only having a budget of £200 for the job....

 

Nathan here has the answer. The highly desireable Citroen Xsara Picasso Potato. This vehicle can not only carry spuds with aplomb, it is also well proven in real life situations such as threatening moped riders who honestly have no fucking idea who on earth you are. With paintings by Picasso going for ridiculous sums, here’s is a way to get yourself into a modernist masterpiece for buttons

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/citroen/citroen-xsara-for-sales/1324824384

 

Of course if you run a potato emporium, you could use this as a promotional vehicle as some carefully applied vinyl wrap will make this look a little like a potato.....

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