EssDeeWon Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Here is a new one I have just stumbled across. "Tax expires 01/07/2014" Since when do tax discs expire on the first of the month? This type of crap just reeks of desperado even when selling sub grand chod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymous user Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Â The Chrome Bumpers shine nicely with some age related patina That'll be rust then Bamboocarman and Junkman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 Show car - an abomination that not even its mother would love, made from a pristine original, the modifications being irreversible. Real head turner - ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twosmoke300 Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 And undriveable Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiny Norman Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Here is a new one I have just stumbled across. "Tax expires 01/07/2014" Since when do tax discs expire on the first of the month? This type of crap just reeks of desperado even when selling sub grand chod. Technically you could argue tax does expire on the first of the month, and not the last day of the previous one.If I have a tax disc that has 30:6:14 on it I'd assume my car was taxed until the last femto-second of the 30th, and only became untaxed when the clock ticked over, but maybe that's just me. The way I word an ad would be 'Taxed till July' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Na I dont agree, I see it as the dealer trying hard to squeeze some more time out of an expiring tax disc. Once it gets to midnight the car is untaxed and illegal on a public highway so if you dont have a driveway or need to use the car on the following day you need to weigh in for tax on the 30th. I prefer to just say taxed until end of June etc to be clear  But leaving some tax in a car usually helps it sell 5 fold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 I drove to the post office to buy a tax disc today (the last one ever in my life, thanks God) and nobody battered an eyelid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloth in a bowl Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014   Real head turner - ... ...and dare I say it, quite a few stomachs. (Yes, I know the original was 'Heads turned...') Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad D. Conelrad Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 The tax disc expiry date thing might be because the vehicle enquiry website phrases it that way now. Tax disc itself says 31/1/15, but the website says "expires 1st February 2015". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 I drove to the post office to buy a tax disc today (the last one ever in my life, thanks God) and nobody battered an eyelid. Thats because you is The Junkman Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Here's one - My dad owned this car for 20 years - its had 20 years of weld upon weld repairs and a good £50 worth of P38 and chicken wire stuffed in it. Bamboocarman and brickwall 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Here's one I read tonight and he's looking for a swap: "Clutch just needs a tighten or maybe replace after a few more miles" The car in question requires a subframe drop to change the clutch and it also has a slave cylinder, £600 job. EssDeeWon, Bamboocarman and Charlie Croker 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Partridge Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 BMW M5/Escort RS/T5-R/MG-ZT/Type R/ etc etc etc "Lookalike" - Has a really shit bodykit. Junkman and pilninggas 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxpower Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Need the space for new car: Â Â the wife says i need to get rid of this heap of shite or i am back living with my parents. Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Croker Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I'm not a mechanic..........usualy at the bottom of a long ad stating loads of semi technical terms. I'm not a mechnic = You ARE a lying bastard. Bamboocarman, Junkman and EssDeeWon 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felly Magic Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 'One elderly owner, low miles'. On it's 4th clutch and covered in parking dings, and the HG is going south.... Junkman and Bamboocarman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twosmoke300 Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 And never serviced cos of low miles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilninggas Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Fitted a 1.8GTi engine to it, but now decided to sell:Â -The insurance company won't touch it; I thought I'd end up with a GTi on the cheap, but the insurance is 3x what the actual GTi would be.-The new engine is a wrong 'un.-It might have a GTi engine, but it's still Refugee spec and my mates are taking the piss. brickwall, Bamboocarman, CreepingJesus and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 On a 12 year old car... "Only 126k miles from new so quite low miles for year" ........which ever way you look at it, its still done 126k miles Mr dip shit. Bamboocarman and Junkman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Usually applies to cars with alloys or such like:Â "Wheels not included in the sale"Â Skinflinted bastarding, jumper-wearing gypo. Vince70, Bwrlwm, Charlie Croker and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brickwall Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Light welding needed for MOT - Oh fuck, massive hole! Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HH-R Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 No mention of mileage (more on Autotrader than eBay) = it's been to the moon and back ten times over and no-one will touch it with a bargepole. Bamboocarman and Vince70 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 ^Quite often dealers leave the mileage blank on Autotrader, but wft? Surely people will only ring up and ask? I guess its the old game of getting the punter on the phone then at least you can waffle on about how mileage isn't important anymore with modernz etc etc "they all do 200k no problem sir"...which still begs the question....Why not just list it in the advert then. I currently need a cheap'ish car, and am determined to avoid using a dealer . Bamboocarman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felly Magic Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 'Quackin Mowtah', as beloved of the fat Mockney, translated to floorpan cracking in several places and covered with cheap bodge welds and an MOT dodgier than Arfur Daley Bamboocarman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STUNO Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Just read of a 1995 "ute" that was sold with 11,000 km on it, new owner went to collect it, dug it out from under the rubbish it was buried in and hopped in for a look. The odo was reading 1100 km !Also I recently bought a 1 lady owner, low mileage, regularly serviced car sight unseen. And it was. It was even being sold " on behalf of " and the ad was done by a third person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloth in a bowl Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 No mileage on advert - We haven't decided what to clock it to yet Low mileage for year - Low mileage for a taxi cab for the year Luckythirteen and Junkman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 Rule 217 b of Autoshite bible.................it's NEVERÂ a loose wire. In fact . "as simple as a loose wire" should be in the ebay mongspeak thread.Well, that's where it is now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cort16 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I drove past a car dealership today and outside they had an 12 plate Fiat 500 up for £9995. On the window scribbled in windolene or what ever was written. "This car was £13995, now £9995 you save £4000!No I fucking don't!. This car is 2 years old a new one is 0 years old. That's called depreciation. Bamboocarman and Charlie Croker 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy18s Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 just gone up on farcebook  Eny 1 no eny good sights to find out y a scooter dnt work peugeot elyseo 150 spits fule bk out carb sounds like its spitting seems to av a good spark compreshion seems ok eny idears pleast 2 stroke in black it iz ??? really give up on some folk Bamboocarman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HH-R Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 On the mileage thing, when on Autotrader I might look at something fairly high but weigh it up against the rest of the advert, FSH or very low owners or whatever, there's also what they think is high mileage mightn't be what I think is excessive. If there is no data then I will 100% assume it's a crock and not even worth ringing up about. EssDeeWon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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