Claim's Cabbies Corner. UPDATE! NOT SO MIGHTY DACIA.

[artdjones]

Just be glad you're not punting an absolutely destroyed Mk6 Escort around the streets of Kinshasa.....

 

[warren t claim]

3 hours ago, artdjones said:

Just be glad you're not punting an absolutely destroyed Mk6 Escort around the streets of Kinshasa.....

 

To be fair that Escort isn't much worse than the Dacia Logan MCV I had the pleasure* of driving (but not working even though it's a plated vehicle) earlier today. The build quality and interior plastics would shame a 1987 Mk 4 Escort.

[wuvvum]

To be fair it wasn't the interior plastics which were the main issue on a 1987 Escort, it was the exterior steel. 

[warren t claim]

Due to my previous cheap mechanic of choice having to hang up his spanners due to cancer I threw the Insignia keys to another of my tame technicians to present it for inspection and see what it fails on. The fail sheet is as follows.

Council taxi requirements.

Valet required inside and out. I was expecting that. Rear bumper and NS wing require paintwork.

MOT fails.

EML light on. Brake pedal sinking. Parking brake inoperative OSR. NSR shock has severe leak. Parking brake below efficiency.

Obviously, as I paid mechanic 1 to sort out the rear caliper I'll be giving him a slap when he finishes his chemo.

£250 to sort out the rear bumper and bodywork seems a little steep but I really can't be arsed shopping around.

 

[warren t claim]

I see my old 18 plate Ioniq is still going strong.

[Lord Sterling]

On 19/07/2024 at 22:17, artdjones said:

Just be glad you're not punting an absolutely destroyed Mk6 Escort around the streets of Kinshasa.....

I see your Mk6 Escort in Kinshasa and raise you a barely running Mercedes 190 in Burkina Faso.

 

[warren t claim]

As most of you know, I'm more of a night driver who would rather deal with cheery revelers than manhandling Doris's Zimmer frame along with 20 bags of shopping from Tesco. What keen subscribers of the writings of Warren on this thread will know is that I manage and assist a fleet of rental taxis for someone who has recently moved out of the area. Quite why I agreed to this after my many epic whinges about my time as a fleet owner over on our various Mondeo threads is a mystery to even myself. Having said that, it's been pretty easy so far, just collect money, hand out keys and sort out the odd inspection. Nothing too tasking even for my somewhat limited intellect. 

9am this morning my beauty sleep is disturbed by the fleet owner phoning me. I assume that the call will be him confirming that I've paid my mechanic for the passing work done on my Insignia so I ignore his call and make a note to call him back later this afternoon. As I'm half awake and still in need of a few more hours of sleep I treat myself to a quick Temazewank and drift back off to the land of nod.

At 12 noon, my phone rings, followed by a text, followed by the phone ringing again. I answer to hear the fleet owner apologising for waking me up, but there's a problem. A Dacia Logan MCV that he's rented out for a week to a driver whose Kia Optima estate is having a clutch/flywheel replacement won't start due to a flat battery. I know this Dacia reasonably well. I've never worked it but I have driven it a few times and to be honest, it's not a bad car. Yes, it is fitted with the sort of interior fit and finish I last sampled when driving the Yugo 45 van my first bailiff firm made me drive as a punishment for some minor workplace fuck up, but this particular Dacia is a model quite high up the Logan food chain as it's equipped with sat nav, reversing camera and cruise control. Although I'd quite like to work this Logan for a week or two just to make a thread about it on here its main purpose on the fleet is to be the dedicated short term hire vehicle due to it only being worth £1500 and therefore worthless enough to be insured TPO on a short term taxi insurance policy. Quite what the last lad who rented it for a week thought about it as he hired it while his E Class Mercedes was having work done! I'm surprised that the comedown in cars must have given him a near fatal shock!

I arrive to find the driver, a lad called Dave who I don't recognise but for some reason knows me and a disturbingly large amount about me, and his missus Angie trying to jump start the Logan from their Audi Q2 using a set of jump leads that look like they came out of a xmas cracker. Not being a complete prick I have both a decent set of leads along with a tow rope that's more than up to the job of starting the Dacia but the only problem is that both are neatly stored in the boot of the aforementioned Insignia and therefore out of my reach. I try the ignition of the Logan only to see that the battery is so flat even the ignition lights won't turn on. I phone Claim_Garage asking to borrow their booster pack. Claim_Garage tell me that they had lent it out earlier in the week but will phone who they lent it to so I can collect it. Five minutes later I'm told that the lad who borrowed it isn't answering his phone. Bollocks!

At this point I should mention that Dave isn't a normal PH driver, he's someone who owns his own airport transfer firm and was starting to grumble loudly. I try to boost his spirits and suggest that we nip to the local Wickes and buy a tow rope to drag start the Logan even though I was keeping a secret the fact that there's no fucking way it'll start with a tow if the battery's so flat that even the ignition and oil pressure lights won't illuminate but I'll worry about that later.

One £12 tow strap later we return to the Dacia. I'm at this point banking on being able to use Two Tier Kia to get at least a little charge into the Dacia's battery through the Tesco Value jump leads to enable it to start after a tow. After ten minutes of me revving the tits off 2TK there was enough charge in the Logan's battery to at least show basic signs of life so I decided to attach the tow strap. When I looked at the front of the Dacia and saw the missing cover for the towing eye to screw into the first thought I had was that I bet the fucking towing eye is missing and I was right! I was trying to appear cheerful to Dave while I was rapidly running out of options so I decided to use my final throw of the dice. This Logan has a towbar fitted so I asked dave to drive 2TK and I'll sit in the Logan while I bump start it in reverse. 

 

All this shit due to a flat battery!

[sheffcortinacentre]

Welcome to my world.

[High Jetter]

Tomorrow could be fun!

[warren t claim]

1 minute ago, High Jetter said:

Tomorrow could be fun!

I put my brave trousers on earlier and texted him to make sure it's still behaving itself!

[High Jetter]

Hope he doesn't turn it off!

[warren t claim]

Just now, High Jetter said:

Hope he doesn't turn it off!

To be fair, it did charge itself up pretty fast.

[High Jetter]

Hope it holds, or you find out why it discharged.

[warren t claim]

Just now, High Jetter said:

Hope it holds, or you find out why it discharged.

It hadn't been used for nearly a month.

[warren t claim]

The Dacia Logan MCV is a much better car than you'd think.