Split_Pin Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 I think 'Vanden Picnic tables' is also a real Autoshite specification level. flat4alfa 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 I think 'Vanden Picnic tables' is also a real Autoshite specification level. Plah, esp. 'Vanden Picnic tables' The proper, top-of-the-class, retractable and veneered 'picnic tables' fitted to the rear of the front seating. Typically seen with a separate champagne flute placement. Taken from coachbuilder and interior fitter Vanden Plas, mispronounced by commoners as if French; when Mr W. Plas was in fact Flemish and therefore it would be Plas after all. Not that it matters when smoking about on the school run with children in the rear flapping the tables back and forth in your £750 Daimler XJ40 with a howling wheel-bearing. D Spares & Tyres, CreepingJesus, michael t and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 Damn. The Baron has already entered it, missed that. I failed, with apologies. http://autoshite.com/topic/13953-autoshite-lexicon/page-7?do=findComment&comment=1402463 Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted January 26, 2018 Share Posted January 26, 2018 But your definition is so much better! I shall delete mine in lieu of your's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsuncog Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Could anyone furnish this helpful guide with a definition explaining the difference between a Two Bucket Wrong 'Un and a Two Bucket Right 'Un? All I can divulge is it's something to do with cleaning and detailing. Neither of which I'm terribly familiar with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
320touring Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 Could anyone furnish this helpful guide with a definition explaining the difference between a Two Bucket Wrong 'Un and a Two Bucket Right 'Un? All I can divulge is it's something to do with cleaning and detailing. Neither of which I'm terribly familiar with.They are the same thing - just the opinion of the act that alters. If you think 2 buckets (one for washing water, one for washmitt rinse) is an appropriate approach to detailing your car, then you're a 2 bucket right 'un. If, however, you value your time driving a car rather than cleaning it, you could perceive the above noted activity to be carried out by a 2 bucket wrong 'un The Moog, Datsuncog and chaseracer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorrisItalSLX Posted January 28, 2018 Share Posted January 28, 2018 The Modern: 1. - The bland, non-descript new car you have for when you pride-and-joy in on axel stands in the garage because the radiator exploded on the M4, took out the steering rack and ended up in a hedge. 2. - The car you use when you nip down’ the scrapie to get a new radiator and steering rack for your pride-and-joy because you too skint for new parts as you are STILL paying of the modern YEARS after buying the bloody thing. catsinthewelder, chaseracer, clayts450 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsuncog Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Just because I don't think it's on here, and it took me a while to work out exactly what the acronym stood for: OLLI (Abbrev. 'One Life, Live It' - also OLLI Warrior)An unnecessarily large, impractical and thirsty 4x4 vehicle, esp. a Land Rover or Toyota product, which will frequently be kitted out with the biggest, knobbliest tyres its owner can acquire; bull bars; winch; jerry cans; sidesteps; snorkel air intake; random bits of chequerplate pop-riveted all over the show; and often a sticker (amongst many) in the rear window/on the tailmount spare wheel cover, advising fellow road users that they have ONE LIFE, LIVE IT! Toyotas may also wear a variant of this slogan: "One life, don't spend it fixing Land Rovers!". A person whose entire identity is built around their large and impractical 4x4 vehicle. This person may or may not also have a passing interest in firearms and crossbows, make frequent mention of "going off-grid in Wales when the shit hits the fan, yeah?", favour earth tones and camouflage patterns for their casual wardrobe, and constantly carry a frayed Eastpak rucksack which they refer to as their "bug-out bag, yeah?", containing mostly off-brand energy drinks, squashed blocks of Kendal Mint Cake and copies of Survivalist magazine. Despite appearances, these people generally live in urban areas, often with their parents, and have amassed a sizeable library of books about the SAS from branches of The Works.OLLI vehicles may be sighted in Tesco car park while their owner stocks up on Rustlers Quarter Pounders and Dairylea Lunchables in preparation for the coming meltdown of society, or more frequently, up on axle stands in an attempt to fix yet another oil leak. Less commonly, they also may be spotted in the wild - sometimes hilariously suffering from some species of catastrophic mechanical failure in the carpark of a country park amidst dogwalkers' Fiestas and i10s. Popular culture references: BBC2's The Fast Show featured characters Simon Bush (Charlie Higson) and Lyndsay Mottram (Paul Whitehouse) as 'The Off-Roaders' - who, along with their Land Rover Ninety 'The Beast' and bellowed catchphrase of "It's gripped! It's sorted! LET'S OFF-ROAD!" followed by some form of disaster, are believed to have popularised the OLLI stereotype. Skizzer, drum, CreepingJesus and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerzy Woking Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Stan Woods? Seen it mentioned a few times, but no idea what it means. flat4alfa 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 You've just described a mate of mine there. He can't look after himself but he's kitted up for the apocalypse. I've another 'Because... Vauxhall...' Sticker. Usually affixed to a 57 plate Astra bought on subprime finance in such a manner that it affects vision on one side of the screen. Frequently seen with other shit trinkets like those bright red seat covers and Ripspeed gear nob covers. Datsuncog and flat4alfa 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adw1977 Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Stan Woods? Seen it mentioned a few times, but no idea what it means.Stan Woods memorial banger race. I think it's restricted to pre-1968 cars. Jerzy Woking 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Saturday 28th April 2018 15:30 Stoke STAN WOODS 2018Stan Woods Classic National Bangers Celebration 2018 Startrax Stockcar Racing170 cars in 2017. 2018 is looking huge! Oldest 1927, entries from across Europe AS roving reporter is commonly Baron Junkman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Crikey DTSN_KOG that description made me laugh, your observational powers are spot on! Datsuncog, chodweaver and chaseracer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsuncog Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 ^^^ Let's just say that, in a previous job, I've been fortunate* enough to observe more than just a few OLLI warriors from behind the parts desk... oh, and worked with one. So I can't really say that any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental... chaseracer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 TBH = To Be Honest.IMHO = In My Humble Opinion.IMHE = In My Humble Experience.XU = a range of petrol engines by Peugeot.XUD = a range of diesel engines by Peugeot.CAV = Lucas CAV diesel pump range, known to be not quite as good for vegetable oil pumping as the Bosch equivalent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 [Alexg]90-Day *colour* : A car finished in an undesirable shade or colour. '90 day' refers to the traditional length of time a dealer is looking at the thing on his forecourt. Pea-roastA re-posting of something already posted before. A repeat post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CreepingJesus Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 Cunt Count, The: because there's fuck all swear filter on bastard Autoshite, we can say any shit we please. And because there's fuck all else to do between Xmas and New Year, JohnF (guid cunt) counts up the quantity of cunt expressed by board members (bunch o' wanks) in the previous twelve arsehole months. Anybody caught deliberately padding their cunt count (for instance, by entering it under 'Cunt Count, The: in the Lexicon) ought to be roundly pilloried. Cos they're an utter cunt. John F, Junkman, rml2345 and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John F Posted March 28, 2018 Share Posted March 28, 2018 lol... might as well add "stealth cunt" as well, then. CreepingJesus and GrumpiusMaximus 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SierraMikeHotel Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Argos, or Argos catalogue? Seen this a couple of times lately, can't even hazard a guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil1971 Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Think the Argos catalogue thing is where someone has messed you around etc, they're sent an Argos catalogue without any postage on it, so presumably then pay an excess postage charge only find they've received a worthless catalogue SierraMikeHotel 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 Jewish Racing Gold - a metallic beige. Just realised the acronym itself isn't actually in this thread JRG = Jewish Racing Gold - a metallic beige. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 GLWTR Good Luck With The Roffle. Typically, a member's fine steed is surplus to requirements and available by roffling. Change the O in that last word to letter A if not clear. The PayPal Feds will get you if put the A in, you see. They are watching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DodgeRover Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 Just realised the acronym itself isn't actually in this thread JRG = Jewish Racing Gold - a metallic beige.Careful now... Tadhg Tiogar 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted May 9, 2018 Share Posted May 9, 2018 Well, I've only ever used it in deference. As was intended here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 One of our new shiters was asking about the meaning of idiosyncratic AS terms. This thread might help. LightBulbFun 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felly Magic Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Have we had 'The Full Quentin/haircut' then? If not, it is the age old car dealer trick to make shit cars worth more, by winding the odometer back by several thousand miles, like a certain slimeball used car dealer/dodgy warranty salesman Count Quentula Willson was busted for more than once Rocket88 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hauserplenty Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 Updated, and given 'The Full Quentin' while I was at it. [/aschangelog] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tooSavvy Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 fixorating ..done as & when but infrequently, to qualitee Toyotas [see: ToMM] LightBulbFun 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hauserplenty Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 ...fixorated! LightBulbFun 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cord Fourteener Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 I see nobody had updated the entry for PSA to include Opel and Vauxhall... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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