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Autoshite lexicon


Formula Autos

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Stu_CDXing: the art of polishing ones bonnet with population paste.

 

Guaranteed MOT pass: Channel islands speak for 'it's f*cked'.

 

Done a Peugeot: something has broken and/or one of the doors doesn't open.

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PRV - rough as a bears arse with a useable rev range of 2499 - 2501 rpm. Fitted to such things of beauty as the Peugeot 604, Volvo 264, Talbot Tagora, UMM Alter II, Renault 30, Renault Espace, Delorean and Citroen XM. 

Barrett - to buy a plastic car that is rusty as fuck.

Hirst Cab - anything that would have been seen around Wakefield in 1983 illegally plying for hire. 


 

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GR8 4 DRFTIN. - Rear-wheel-drive. Often vehicle will not have sufficient dynamic ability or power to break traction, e.g. Marina 1.3

(see also GR0-GR7, GR9+)

 

Poggleswade - where the late Pog lived

 

Sid & Doris - The Autoshite generic term for couples of a certain age.

 

Wakefield - minicabbing centre of the universe

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Grenading - When a car drinks all it's own engine oil via ill designed turbo oil seals, revs uncontollably finally ending in catastrophic engine diahoria by shitting out all its mechanical parts through the side of the engine/back of the exhaust.

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also applies to automatic gearboxes that sponaniously refuse to the single job they're designed for by not changing gear, illuminating various spurious and alarming lights on the dashboard and finally going permanently into gaelic huff by mechanically shrugging their shoulder. This finally see's you dragging it to the scrap yard with the only consolance being that in a few weeks the engine probably would have grenaded anyway (see above).

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also see: Time bomb, what could possibly go wrong.

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Grenading - When a car drinks all it's own engine oil via ill designed turbo oil seals, revs uncontollably finally ending in catastrophic engine diahoria by shitting out all its mechanical parts through the side of the engine/back of the exhaust.

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also applies to automatic gearboxes that sponaniously refuse to the single job they're designed for by not changing gear, illuminating various spurious and alarming lights on the dashboard and finally going permanently into gaelic huff by mechanically shrugging their shoulder. This finally see's you dragging it to the scrap yard with the only consolance being that in a few weeks the engine probably would have grenaded anyway (see above).

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also see: Time bomb, what could possibly go wrong.

 

F*CK!... read 'Renault' then..........?

 

tooSavvy

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"Made of unobtanium" - parts that you won't find anywhere other than a scappies yard or a "specialist' breaker. Most often refers to that bit of trim that was uniquely fitted to your car for one week only during August in 1984. Likely to be a badge, 80's stylee stripe or bit of dash furniture. In more modern motors refers to anything that you can only buy from a franchised main dealer at extortionate prices, like parts for smarts  :mad: or electronic thingumajigs

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Barn Find, as in "A car on ebay that hasn't been driven for over 4 hours and was washed a week or more ago, yet has no keys or documents. Price will be correspondingly higher than the other 3000 examples available"

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Owned by mechnic - Mechanically severely neglected car due to can't be arsedness to turn a bolt after tinkering all day at work with customers' chod. Usually the rear seat and carpet are soaked with oil from carrying around engine and gearbox spares, and the steering wheel and driver's door pull are covered with a black crust.

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'Buy it, they're great cars, I would if I had the money etc': Translates to: I wouldn't touch one with a fifty foot disinfected barge pole, but it's not my money and I'll laugh when I read your thread about it going wrong in style.

 

What's the worse than can happen? Everything!

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