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Woollarding


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The difficulty in recreating the look is that William never Woollarded. He wasn't posing for a knitting pattern, Man at C&A flyer or flashing his latest purchase for the press release of a Midlands car builder. He was just Being William. The only possible way you could ever recreate the look would be to:

 

1. Drive a Fiat X1/9, a Dino Coupe, an 850 coupe, a 124 coupe, a 131 Racing in orange, a 128 and a Panda. You’re going to need to drive them a lot and live with them and learn to appreciate what these fine cars brought to the common man.

2. Find a camera crew.

3. Set out to test the 1988 Fiat Tipo.

4. Praise the general improvements in build quality.

5. Pass positive remarks regarding the handling and ride.

6. Comment on the generally clear and well laid out instrument panel and minor switchgear.

7. Cast your mind back to those earlier Fiats and remember the novel designs, vivacious engines and delicate responses.

8. Feel a growing sense of resentment towards the car you are driving. You need this to build over the next few hours. If you are struggling try to think of a teacher talking to a pupil who they know could do so much better if only they tried harder. 

9. Draw to a halt, open the bonnet and get the camera crew to film your conclusions.

 

If you have carried out your preparation diligently you will not need to think about how your face looks. It will already have that delicate blend of exasperation, frustration and disappointment. You won’t need to think about lifting your foot because it will already be there. Now you have truly Woollarded.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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  • 3 weeks later...

Woollard in the early days,

1) getting it terribly wrong (thinks - 'I need a USP which will excite future generations, but I'm not sure this is it', also thinks 'what the hell is a USP?' further thought 'anybody copyrighted the 'pull my finger' gag?')

woollard3.thumb.jpg.886c5cfe04f2c0f2dc2816872ae3a3c8.jpg

2) the first successful woollard,

woollard1.jpg.5d7c19dd7c3112a8eb5bf4633ee2aa16.jpg

and the rest is history

woollard2.jpg.54e50e651f6359d6d43a66db8ff21c7f.jpg

 

 

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