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Is this the dullest car in the world?


wuvvum

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This magnificent lump of Ozshite is a 1992 Nissan Pintara T, and it's quite possibly the most boring looking car I have ever seen in my life. It has absolutely no style and no interesting design features whatsoever, from any angle.

 

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The interior is an unrelenting sea of grey, the only relief being brought by the bluish-grey piping on the seats.

 

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Mechanically it's equally uninteresting - it's powered by a 2.4-litre 12-valve four-pot not dissimilar to the engine found in the Terrano II, driving the front wheels through a 3-speed overdrive auto 'box. It's supposed to make 129bhp, although I have a feeling a number of those horses may have taken a one-way trip to the glue factory some time ago. To be fair, it keeps up with the traffic adequately well, but it ain't no dragster. Doesn't really handle, either, and the steering is as vague as you would expect from a car built on a Bluebird platform.

 

So it's almost as dull to drive as it is to look at. There was a brief period of excitement early on caused by a worrying propensity on the part of the temperature needle to defy the laws of gravity, but once it became clear that the thing wasn't in fact about to boil up things became positively soporific, to the extent that I had to stop and grab a can of Monster to avoid falling asleep at the wheel. Even the noisy front wheel bearing fades into the background at motorway speeds.

 

The garage I picked it up from was somewhat more interesting though. An independent garage and MoT station with a "Dub" speciality, which didn't bode too well, and to be fair they did have a lowered split screen VW van in their showroom, but sat next to that was a very tidy Stanley Steamer, which I spent some time poring over, and wondering how anyone with fewer than seven arms and three legs could ever hope to drive one.

 

Disappointingly little shite on the roads today. I saw a BMW Z8 on the A11, and a wingless Spitfire on a trailer on the M25, but that was about it until I pulled in behind a scruffy red BX estate in a petrol station just south of Norwich.

 

So overall a rather dull day spent picking up a rather dull car. Still, it was cheap, and its obscurity does go some way towards overriding the boredom factor...

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And why the fuck would a person go to the trouble of shipping one of those things all the way from Oz?

I did wonder that myself. The chap had owned it from new and seemingly when he moved back over here he couldn't bear to part with it. :? He's only sold it now because he's about 89 and has given up driving.

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I OWNED ONE years ago, the only diesel car I have had. A 2 litre diesel with about 8bhp. It was totally forgetable but totally reliable.

Was actually a JDM Bluebird. It died when the cam belt came off the pulleys a few months after I sold it to a friend.

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That does sound pretty miserable, possibly worse than my Dad's yawnfest which is a massively competent, affordable old shed with no redeeming features style-wise, peculiar detached handling characteristics and an endless sea of grey inside. It's like the car version of an office cubicle. Must be a Japanese thing I guess.

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Nice purchase wuv - it's a bit of a shame the giffer didn't have a Superhatch (locally-developed variant) for bonus obscurity points:

 

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Due to the government's push for industry consolidation, it got Corsair badges and a blue oval too:

 

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This generation of Pintara is mostly (in)famous for bombing spectacularly and heralding the end of local Nissan production - the whole thing between launch and factory closure only lasted about three years (and burnt mega$$$$$$$). As you have surmised, it certainly isn't memorable for anything to do with the car. In fact, this leads to the only vaguely interesting story I can think of involving the Pintara/Corsair. In late 1989 - about the same time it debuted - my dad was looking at a new Ford Laser (locally-built badge-job 323) and out of interest cast an eye over the dealer's Corsair. Even though it was more expensive (bigger margin) and Ford at that point had absolutely no problems shifting Lasers, the dealer only had a few words to offer re the Corsair.

 

"Don't waste your time with that..."

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