Lord Sterling's fleet of failure - Spots + MoT failure 4 SALE

[warren t claim]

What condition is the white Sterling in?

[Lord Sterling]

What condition is the white Sterling in?

Fairly poor. The wings are fairly rusty, one of the rear arches has some corrosion along the lip. The paintwork desperately needs a mop up. One of the rear doors needs changing (which I already have) it needs a good service with a cambelt and waterpump change. Its all doable, but needs time and money lavishing on it.

 

The engine and exhaust still sound as sweet as though....

[Split_Pin]

Excellent to see, VTB and co. are good mates to have.

[Skizzer]

That's a quality barn that Brad's got there - very jealous!

 

Glad you're back in gainful employment again, and good luck finding something that you like more and/or pays better.  Partly for your sake, obviously, but also so you can get these fine vehicles sorted...

[Lord Sterling]

Thanks Skizzer. I do need something that pays better so I can get out of where I'm living. I just hate here, I really do. My plan is to go in the next few months, certainly before the weather gets warmer.

[AnthonyG]

Good to see this collection in a much better home. If your long term plan is to leave the UK, which ones will you take with you?

[Lord Sterling]

Thanks. If the KV6 is still alive by the time I leave, it'll be coming with me. If not, it'll be the one which will cost the least to put back on the road. The rest of the cars will stay in the barn until I can find some permanent space abroad and afford to bring them with me.

[RoadworkUK]

If i see another set, I'll let you know, they'll look ace on your car I reckon.

Cheers, Mo; I reckon you're right; they'd certainly be an improvement on the 15's and possibly encourage cornering with a little less sidewall in contact with the tarmac. I'd wager that tyres are probably cheaper, too.

[Lord Sterling]

Er...yeah

 

Apparently a while back whilst out in France I managed to buy a Rover 827 Coupe located in England. I bought it blind seeing as I had seen the car before.

 

I remembered that it wasn't in the best of conditions when I saw it and I remembered that it was up for something like £795. I took the 2 pics below in between laughing at it's condition and the price. I honestly though that it didn't have long left to live.....

 

 

Anyway, rolling on to a couple of months back... I'm coming to the end of my contract in France and knowing I'd be back in England at some point I gave a few mates a call seeing as I hadn't spoke to them for a couple of months. One of those calls saw a spontaneous mentioning of a Rover 827 Coupe, on LPG with tax and test going for £400, I weighed up my options and said yes, for the first time in a long time, I had a fee £thousand tucked away for me to play with, never had a Coupe before and being on LPG it sounded like a good idea. Only after I got off the phone did the reg ring a bell, yep, it was that laughable car I saw a few years ago...oh dear....

 

Money was sen back to England and the car was stored at a farm in Evesham as I was in Brussels, then Turkey, Germany, back to Brussels etc....

 

I arrived back in the UK a few days ago, tired from my trip with a load of hassle to look forward to. On top of that, I had to get the thing insured. So a few quick calls to some insurances and the cheapest quote I could get in a short time was £484 on a Classic policy because it was less than 20 years old, that, despite me having insured a 1997 KV6 Sterling for £280 the previous year.

 

Then of course they would only accept having the policy paid in full, no monthly installments. Seeing as I had an unknown amount of time left here in England, I decided to bite the bullet and pay up

 

This morning I woke up to face a day of travelling to Evesham and picking up the wreck. I made my way to meet my mate in Cradley Heath and after a small trip in his yellow LDV pick-up with unbolted passenger seat, we were to travel in this thing to the vale of Evesham....

 

 

Soz, no pics of the LDV. Yet.

 

A trip down the M5 and a few A-roads and here is what greeted me:

 

 

It was then I felt the crushing realisation that I actually owned this heap of shit.

 

I drove it out of it's resting place to find that the drivers side tyre was flat, so out came the steel spare. The steel wheel was also flat but not punctured, it only needed air, my mate had forgot to bring his compressor with him so tyre air was supplied by a very old and very unreliable compressor that had no gauge, so it was anyone's guess how much air was actually in the spare tyre.

 

Because of it slumber in grass in the middle of Evesham, many small snails had decided to make it their home on various bit of outerbody

 

The interior of this thing was shockingly horrid. Clearly it had never been cleaned inside or out, the boot carpet has long gone to be replaced by some off cut of crap house carpet, same carpets were also used for rear footwell mats, the front at least had some universal shite (which I hate)

 

The drivers side window has not worked for years. Thankfully, I managed to pick up a drivers-side window mechanism on the way home. It looks like bloody hard work but I may attempt to do this before I leave again.

 

 

After a nice cheese sandwich and a cup of tea it was time to go. I eventually got thing going after a few coughs and got into driving it. Despite it being a rough old dog, it didn't actually drive too bad, it held the road pretty well and was fairly responsive.

 

The gear change was very sudden indicating that it needed some automatic gear oil changing, looks like I'll need to invest in some "Hondamatic" or whatever its called these days.

 

The "thing" needs a service no doubt, despite being once owned by a garage owner.

 

Eventually, we made it back to Cradley Heath where some air from a proper compressor was added:

 

 

It certainly felt a bit better to drive.

 

I had a bit of running around to do so the Rover had it's job cut out transporting me from one side of Birmingham to the other. It preformed faultlessly but the radio did get on my nerves spontaneously switching itself on and off and because it's a Sony, it had that annoying 3 x bleeps when off, so the face came off and was chucked into the glovebox.

 

Once business had been sorted, I decided to see if I could pass by the local petrol station and chuck a bucket a water over it. I did that and tried to take the "obligatory" petrol station shot. I failed:

 

 

At this point, the "thing" had been washed and engine (which 'looked' completely worn) had been jet-washed, now it was to receive some sort of interior tidy up. The carpets looked as if they hadn't seen a hoover, ever.

 

 

The full 8 mins allowed from the petrol station hoover allowed me to at least get it a bit better than it had been. Once I got home, I consulted my pile of Rover 800 floor mats and found a set suited for the car, Beige shag pile mats that the Coupes got as standard when new, the drivers side got a rubber 'Rover' drivers mat.

 

The engine compartment got a coating of WD40 applying it to the metal bits and (trying to) carefully missing out the rubber bits.

 

The "thing" is now probably 0.8% better than it was when I met it for the second time in my life.

 

So, what have I noticed?

 

1. It'll need an MOT in 10 days time

2. It'll need taxing in 15 days time

3. Bootlid either needs realigning or replacing.

4. It needs tyres and alloys replacing, front tyres are cracked to buggery and yes, it still retains the shitty rattle-canned alloys it was wearing when I first saw it a few years ago.

5. Seat REALLY need cleaning or replacing, even the back ones weren't spared.

6. Engine needs a FULL service

7. Gearbox needs a service.

8. It needs its drivers window mechanism fitting

9. It needs new door cards, lets not beat around the bush here, they are SHIT.

10. It needs the Sony tape player chucking out and replacing with the standard Philps head unit and CD-changer.

11. The carpet is shite, it needs ripping out and burning.

12. Petrol cap retaining mechanism need reinstating.

13. The towbar needs removing and chucking into the bin.

 

Tomorrow should see a little more polishing, hoovering and the leather seats need a DAMNED good scrubbing, doubtless they'll look any better though. At the moment I'm happy to be driving a Rover 800 again, but then again, there are better cars out there for not much more money.

[twosmoke300]

I'd be chucking it in for an mot before I invested too much time and money into it.*

 

 

*other opinions may vary

[Split_Pin]

Good stuff there Mr S, hopefully you'll get it through the mot without too much bother.

[DVee8]

Mo that is bloody lovely,i like the lines of the coupe well done that man.1 day i'll have a coupe.

[Sloth in a bowl]

I consulted my pile of Rover 800 floor mats.

 

 

And in one short phrase Mo achives a level of autoshiteness that us mere mortals can only dream of.

This is why he fully deserves the title of Lord Stirling.

[Parky]

I'd be chucking it in for an mot before I invested too much time and money into it.*

*other opinions may vary

This - although I would be tempted to do something about the Tyres first as it would be a shame if the car aced its MOT only to get a failure because of the old rubber. Could you wang on a better set from one of your other cars pre MOT just to balance the odds further in your favour?

 

I think the drivers seat will clean up alright - I think there is a peach under all the dirt and neglect there Mo!

[EssDeeWon]

A bottle of Lemon Cif and a sponge (add some elbow grease) and that interior will look much better, leather is far easier to bring up than dirty stained cloth/velour seats...

 

And good luck.

[catsinthewelder]

Well at least it's running well,  could you raid some rims with decent tyres off one of your other 800's? 

 

Best of luck with the MOT

[Partridge]

What a great read! I now know the back story...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Sounds like you're over the moon with this purchase!!! Did you have one of those 'why in gods name do i do this to myself' moments when you went to fetch it? I have those from time to time.

[Skizzer]

Bah, looks fine to me.  Save all that time on cleaning the interior by investing in a disposable plastic hazmat suit and a magic tree.

 

Plus as a big bonus, the dash top isn't lifting - proof that this is a MUCH LOVED KWALITY MOTOR.  The best colour for these, too.

[rml2345]

I must have incredibly low standards as that looks pretty bloody decent in the photos.

Looking forward to seeing this one progress.

[cms206]

According to SWMBO I am never allowed an 800 after driving your last one Mo, but if I was it definately wouldn't be that one.

 

Dreadful. 112%/10.

[Lord Sterling]

Well, I've been driving this dreadful looking heap of shite for a couple of days now. So far its had a wash, hoover, mats replaced by original items (see, and people thought I was wierd collecting Rover 800 floor mats) I've also made a very half-arsed attemped at chucking some hot water, a sponge, Cif and some Gliptone leather conditioner at the seats. They look a little cleaner but there is still serious wear and permanent/ground in dirt still showing up, it just looks better in photos.

 

This shed is bloody powerful though, I've effortlessly overtook a line of traffic a few times and absolutely pulls like a train whilst you relax in the comfortable (but rather worn) seats.

 

All tyres have been replaced and original alloy has been put back on. Yes I'm seemingly only here for a few days but during those few days I shall be transporting my family and I'd rather be safe. Besides, the plan I'm currently forming is too keep it insured, taxed and MOT'd so whenever I do pop to l'Angleterre I will at least have a car to jump into, plus I can spend my spare time doing it up, or at least that's the plan....

 

It's got 145k on the clock, there is a single 'knock' sound when I apply the brakes but otherwise they are very good. The exhaust farting is a little worse than I thought partly because the drivers window doesn't work so I can't hear it properly. The steering wheel is not aligned so a 4-wheel alignment will need to be done at some point.

 

I want rid of the rear towbar so may have to look into that in a few days.

 

Did you have one of those 'why in gods name do i do this to myself' moments when you went to fetch it? I have those from time to time.

I say that to myself everytime I set eyes on the damned thing. Now I like Rover 800s very much (as if ya didn't know) but I often seem to attract the worst examples money can buy. I can't for the life of me figure out why. All 5 other 800s are in some sort of disrepair. I'd love to have a really decent one that doesn't end up blowing it's engine, but that's just a dream.

 

could you raid some rims with decent tyres off one of your other 800's?

Normally this is what I'd do, but I have no access to my barn at the moment and probably won't for the short duration I'm here, hence buying some tyres for it.

 

According to SWMBO I am never allowed an 800 after driving your last one Mo

Lol. To be honest, at first I didn't like the 825 Sterling you delivered at first, but as soon as I got scrubbing it up, gave it a service and chucked on a new exhaust, it really was a transformed car, it's now lovely, certainly in better condition than this current heap. The KV6 Sterling is now most certainly a keeper.

[Partridge]

It sounds like, to quote Mike Brewer, that it has all the basics and is a good, solid mowtah!

[Sloth in a bowl]

 

It's got 145k on the clock, there is a single 'knock' sound when I apply the brakes but otherwise they are very good. The exhaust farting is a little worse than I thought partly because the drivers window doesn't work so I can't hear it properly. The steering wheel is not aligned so a 4-wheel alignment will need to be done at some point.

 

 

 

 

LS, Selly Oak tyres do 4 wheel alignment for £50 and with the computer screens they use, it's easy to see the before and after settings.

 

A single knock on brake application  is normally some slack being taken up.

Check the pads are properly in place and cannot move within their mounts except to grab the discs.

The other thing to check is that all the brake caliper mounting bolts are properly tight and that the calipers are lined up to their mounts correctly.

 

If you get a knock then vibration (or pulse through pedal), I would assume a knackered disc 

[Cavcraft]

Those coupes are a fine looking car alright. Do you happen to know if the one you bought used to sport a private plate and live on The Wirral somewhere?

[hairnet]

just looked at you moving the others

 

omg 87 reg !!!!111111one111!!!

 

typical car mech car tho the last thing they fix when they get home is their own.........

[Jim Bergerac]

I wonder if it's an ex-Rover car with the TOK plate?

 

Here's another N9xx TOK plate on an 800 in the mediocre 90s TV series 'Sharman':

[Lord Sterling]

Do you happen to know if the one you bought used to sport a private plate and live on The Wirral somewhere?

Not sure tbh. I doubt it's the same car as I have some all the tax discs dating back to late 2003, from then up until 2005 the tax discs are stamped as being purchased in Surrey/Croydon the 2006 disc was stamped in Hereford and from then on in Halesowen/Cradley Heath.

 

Rather uninterestingly, my G-reg Sterling was a Birmingham registered car that spent all/most of it's life in Surrey.

[Noel Tidybeard]

strangely my renner 19 has a portsmouth reg but all the service book stuff says renner birmingham and compared to a brochure it had a lot of options

[Lord Sterling]

Do you happen to know if the one you bought used to sport a private plate and live on The Wirral somewhere?

Right, done a bit of checking. The Coupes plate carrys the name www.emg4cars.co.uk, aka; Epsom Motor Company LTD which ties in with the tax discs being bought from around that area. Interestingly, the tax disc holder is a Rover item carrying the name of Epsom Motor Group LTD with a Rover emblem above denoting that it was probably a Rover garage at some point.

 

So, this car may well have been sold new in the Surrey area.