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Shite You CAN'T STAND!


PaykanHunter

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I hate these things....

 

This one (to my shame) was mine, for about a week..

 

PICT0184.jpg

 

These are actually on my list of cars to own at some point... :oops::oops:

 

This has to be the epitome of modern shite. It is the single most hateful, revolting, overpriced heap of bollocks I've ever come across. How DARE Korea insult us with sending it over.

 

SsangYong_Rodius_270_Xdi_rear_20100719.jpg

 

Ever been in one? No, didn't think so. Lucky bastards. First of all, they all seem to have the scent of rotting dog. EVERYTHING is so cheap, the parking brake release has the same quality feel as a lucky bag toy. They've felt the need to include a plastic test tube on to the dash beside the speedo clocks - god knows why. Then there's the drive. Some ancient Merc diesel that uses as much oil as it does fuel, mated the most horrific, vage gearbox known to man. I nicked the owners manual to have a flick through and see what hidden virtues the Rodius may hold. Any discoveries were hindered by the fact that they've had a non-English speaker translate the thing from Korean - it's laughable and kind of says it all. It is a complete bastard of a car.

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ado2.jpg

Not her, the so-called car. I can't think of anything that could redeem these.

 

Amazing interior room and all round vision, ultra light steering and controls, safe handling (frankly amazing by the standards of 50 years ago), good on fuel, decent brakes (discs on the front) and a torquey little 1100 A Series. Even now, a good one (particularly the later 1300 with the 4 syncro box and a servo) is a remarkably good drive - plus they look so neat and crisp thanks to Pininfarina.

 

 

A ropey one is almost undoubtedly awful.

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This post has been making me chuckle. I concur with many of the opinions expressed - especially:-

 

1) Citroen Pick-Asso - the motoring equivalent of a castration - no red-blooded male should be seen within 200 yards of this abomination, in case they end up sterilised. I know it's name-sake had a tendency to draw noses on the foreheads of women who look like they've eaten too many pies, but seriously, they're so goddamn wet they make me want to go and punch a kitten.

 

2) Nissan Puke - I used to have a Matchbox toy car, which was one of their made-up things they did from time to time in the 70s. It was a Fire-chief (WTF is a Fire-chief?) car thingy. It was ridiculous, but strangely attractive. Unlike the Joke, which is as attractive as a puked-up hair-ball.

 

3) Anything made by fuggin' Chrapler - even historically, these cars went beyond shite! But the new ones - the 300C looks like a hearse / poor cartoon attempt at an American gangsta car - even a crap Gangsta rapper would rather sandpaper his ol' fella than be seen in one - the 'wagon' (same rear springs) looks like Quincy's hearse wagon, and then the fuggin' PT - I've seen more appealing ladies hygiene products. Sebring - beyond shite. Mini-bus thing they cart those stupid pricks around in on The Apprentice - there aren't enough car crushers on the planet to dispose of those utter abortions. Anything with a 'Jeep' badge - WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON - YOU LOOK LIKE THE BIGGEST LOSER, WEARING AN 'I'M A MASSIVE LOSER, FROM LOSER-VILLE' BADGE (you may detect that I'm not keen!)

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This post has been making me chuckle. I concur with many of the opinions expressed - especially:-

 

1) Citroen Pick-Asso - the motoring equivalent of a castration - no red-blooded male should be seen within 200 yards of this abomination, in case they end up sterilised. I know it's name-sake had a tendency to draw noses on the foreheads of women who look like they've eaten too many pies, but seriously, they're so goddamn wet they make me want to go and punch a kitten.

 

2) Nissan Puke - I used to have a Matchbox toy car, which was one of their made-up things they did from time to time in the 70s. It was a Fire-chief (WTF is a Fire-chief?) car thingy. It was ridiculous, but strangely attractive. Unlike the Joke, which is as attractive as a puked-up hair-ball.

 

3) Anything made by fuggin' Chrapler - even historically, these cars went beyond shite! But the new ones - the 300C looks like a hearse / poor cartoon attempt at an American gangsta car - even a crap Gangsta rapper would rather sandpaper his ol' fella than be seen in one - the 'wagon' (same rear springs) looks like Quincy's hearse wagon, and then the fuggin' PT - I've seen more appealing ladies hygiene products. Sebring - beyond shite. Mini-bus thing they cart those stupid pricks around in on The Apprentice - there aren't enough car crushers on the planet to dispose of those utter abortions. Anything with a 'Jeep' badge - WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON - YOU LOOK LIKE THE BIGGEST LOSER, WEARING AN 'I'M A MASSIVE LOSER, FROM LOSER-VILLE' BADGE (you may detect that I'm not keen!)

 

{Reaches for popcorn}

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Oh dear, where do I start....

 

BMW E46 Coupe - Vile peices of shit mostly driven by prententious angry little office boys who think they are above everyone. These particular BMWs seem to be void of anything resembling 'handling' gearchange is like a stick in dried mud as is pick up.

 

Jaguar XJ8/R Sport - Never liked these after testing a couple of them that came to our garage. Ride wasnt that good and the interior just seemed really cheap.

 

Rover 800 Vitesse Turbo/Sport - I've never really got the point of these. The ride is harsh, the suspension set up is a joke and 17' alloys they are often found sitting on just look desperate, they kind of remind of an old man in a neat tuxedo/suit shod with trainers and a baseball cap trying to act cool.

 

Subaru Impratza - Often seen driven by wannabe gangsters/council estate kings/Essex Police. Drove one that we had in. Very quick but - crap ride, cheap interior, not wonderfully interesting to look at.

 

All of these are my own opinion.

 

Oh yeh, and I think there was a similar thread here

 

With you all the way on the Vitty and Superpoo ImpressHer, but can't agree with you on the E46. Still, meat, poison etc.

 

Interesting. I've driven an E46, not a good one mind, but it was an E46. It just didn't feel as nice as my E36. The E36 was perhaps the last of the old fashioned BMWs; badly equipped but fun to drive and had numerous quality touches like metal control stalks and a satisfying clunk from the central locking. It is as I always imagined a German car should be. The E46 didn't feel anywhere near as planted or confident near the limit. In fact it felt like an ordinary car. The fact that it was RWD was not that obvious. I noticed this when I drove a 1 Series too. All were four cylinders. An E46 330i may be a different matter and I shall reserve judgement until I've been in a decent one.

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Argh my eyes...This thread should carry a health warning....

 

And this shitbox, well Its yet another Pontiac!

 

soltic10.jpg

 

 

One of the people who worked at my schoool had one of these. People were constantly amazed at what it was, were convinced it was some rare car etc etc. Did one of them believe me when I said it was a cheapo pontiac imported from the states? No.

 

I would actually contend this a little as I am sure they are hopeless cars but they look alot better in the flesh than in the photo.

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Hmmm... I'm with Morris on this one, despite the FACT that all americunt cars are poorly made shit that doesn't handle.

 

That Pontiac will definitely be a bit crap, but despite looking like a cross between a Sherpa Coupe and a Braun electric shaver its appearance doesn't actually offend me. Unlike 99.98% of all other american cars.

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  • 2 months later...

I can't believe I've read this whole thread and every car I've ever owned - apart from the 156, which everyone loves because it's so pretty and says Alfa Romeo on it - is here.

 

Ford Ka - well yes they do seem to have been made out of biscuit tins, but mine was only 6 years old when I sold it and it was holding together well. In fact I've just checked the DVLA website, and it's tax ran out almost exactly 2 years ago, so it only made it to 12 years old. They're great fun to drive though, and mechanically pretty tough - and of course, they're as cheap as a previous generation Fiesta with the boot chopped off ought to be. In fact, I liked my Ka so much that I later bought a SportKa to communte in (easy to park, see) Unfortunately the engines in those are directly related to the one Noah used to power the Ark, so it only did 29mpg. The gearbox was lovely though.

 

Fiat Multipla - this is clearly the best car ever made. Only this evening I used mine to coillect a card rack for a shop, which fitted it whole, with the boot closed. I could have had two passengers too, if I'd wanted. In fact at least one would have been good. Card racks are heavy. You can put the back seats in the wrong way round and sit looking out of the boot, which acts as a sort of roof thing - ideal for beaches on windy days when you need to keep an eye on the kid. You can also fit it 6 people, 6 foot tall jewellery cabinets, sideboards, bikes, tents, enough stuff that yo need never come back off holiday ... althogh not at the same time. And it has two sunroofs (and only one leaks). And it does 40mpg + and never breaks down. Well, once. And they're cheap as chips.

 

Viva HC - my first car. Actually that was a bit shite. Made out of offcuts from bank vaults, but shite. Apart from the speedometer.

 

I'm not a big fan of cars that are big for no other reason than being big - I'm looking at you X6 and the new 'mini'

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Alfas (well, most of them) are lush in my eyes. I'll have a black 156 with leather and a rear (DTM style) hoop spoiler please.

 

Edited because I'm a knob head :oops:

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