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Day booked off for a car collection tomorrow. Just need to figure the best way to get from Nailsea & Backwell (near Bristol) to Bebington (near Wirral). Split ticket is about £60 standard or £97 first class which I'm tempted to do. 3 changes and not sure what happens if I can't get the next train - presumably loose out? No point hiding what it is as I'm sure many who have seen any of my recent posts will know already!

Another collection thread begins: Plop count = 0 Rain = True Childcare arranged = True St Mary Cray, where all my dream journeys begin (except when there engineering works) It’s pissing down, I’m too simple minded for umbrellas and parking is a bastard around here, so I trudged to the station. I am consequently a bit damp, but looking forward to adventure (there and back). For context, I live over here in the gloom, on a hill so steep your ears pop if you drive down it quickly; that’s my finger by the way. Obligatory cheerful- but-piss-wet-and-nervous-bloke photo.

I'm a fairly sensible chap. I don't smoke, or drink to excess. I have a decent job, lovely house and the ability to get myself nice things if I want. It has not always been that way. Whereas I am now just foolish, I was once young and foolish. As most of you know when young and foolish, sensibility and practicality are not top of the agenda. Instead, excitement and escapism are much more to the fore. Exotic and unattainable things are desired. Core memories form - intrinsically linked to the object and the feeling it creates in you. Raw, visceral and undiminished by time. Witness the ubiquitous Countach poster on the teenager's wall. An easily recognisable 1980s representation of the experience I describe. But not for me. No. I lusted after something entirely different. On Friday 1st December I get to collect one of my bucket list cars. Join me as I find out if you should never meet your heroes...

A day off work today to go and pick up some new shite that's inconveniently located at the opposite end of the country. Will the trains be on time? Will it break down on the way back. Let's see. No breakfast pic as I finished it before I remembered to start this thread.

To start with, I'm knackered, I've just finished a night shift that although was busy, it seemed to never end. A steady drive home, a quick power nap, get the kids up and make some brekker. Faced with the impending ULEZ and whatnot (for which there is a very good lengthy thread. If you want to talk about it, do it there) I can't keep running a diesel Saab 9-3. I was just going to cope with it, but TfL just put up a camera up on a long pole on my route to work - I can't imagine anyone wanting to vandalise that 20ft up in the air. I was going to drive most of the way, park as close to the camera as possible and walk the rest, but this scuppers it. Anyway, I was looking on eBay for a submission for 'The Price is Shite' thread last week and saw an unsuitable car, put a watch on it and promptly ignored it. My phone chirruped when I was talking to my brother with 15 minutes left on the auction. In that time, we'd looked over the MOT history/ checked the road tax and checked its ULEZ/CAZ compliance and he offered to lend me half of the money if I won, (enabler!) I bunged a bid in with three seconds to go and promptly won it for £££, and not £££££££. So vital statistics as per tradition: Miles to go: 159 each way, London will be achieved by 12:00 Turdification count = 0 (although my body clock is so messed up, literally anything can happen) Hayfever symptoms = mild to light Passengers = 1 Boom_daughter_elder (Boom_daughter_v2 is being looked after by my long-suffering brother for the day)

An early start for me today... Mode of transport 1 Poo count - 0

Poo count: zero. Not straying too far from home. I hope it's not a nail - it looks great in the pics...

Starting out on the late collection of the micra that I won in the raffle! Early start this morning, stared the first leg of my journey with a Uber to my local bus station. my driver was perfect, arrived within 5 mins and took less than 10 mins to do my trip to the bus station, where I’m now sat waiting for the national express to London then onto Canterbury. Uber was nearly a no go as the app needed me to confirm my details, no problem apart from the app would jot accept the code. No biggie as my office is 300 yards from the bus station and I could have driven and left my car there if push come to shove. it is rather wet mind.

Good morning people of the internet. I have killed all my cars so have had to buy a new one. It is 11.15am as I type this and I have done three poos and one small vomit as a result of a choking fit. Stage one was returning a 1.3 diesel Corsavan to my work, where today's caper starts.

I'm just about to go to a place to purchase another financial mistake shitbox, I won't be revealing where I'm going or what I'm buying until it happens. In the meantime, let's have a fun* guessing game as to what I'm buying and from where!!! Pictured: breakfast

Well shit, that's over 9 threats! A triple collection thread. All MOTd. All possibly starting. All presumably stopping. The collection train starts in Glasgow at 12.15 picking up 2x shiters. A further shiter will be collected on the way. 4 shiters. 440 miles. 7hrs. Live updates in 3hrs if anyone can be bothered posting rp974wo9y0n51.mp4

Well lets hope there's joy to be had somewhere. I think it's only been 2 weeks since the last car left so of course it's time to get another one... I didn't even know I wanted it until midnight Thursday/Friday. The alarm rings at 6am tomorrow, this will be the longest distance (non-international) collection yet, and the second oldest car I have ever owned...

<husky film trailer type voice> Just when you thought it was safe to look at a collection thread. Soon will follow a dramatic story of a desperate man with a quest, against all odds, to have a running car in his possession by the end of the day. He will battle crowds of shoppers, day trippers and other hazards… <record stylus scratch sound> <nasal Chris Barrie as Gordon Brittas type voice> What actually will follow is a man heading across London on several trains and (hopefully) driving back around the M25 to put his new purchase into storage and SORNing it until 1st of July. It won’t be exciting, and it may put you to sleep after your Sunday roast. Poo count = 0 antihistamine count = 1 Extreme nasal excretions count (courtesy of @mitsisigma01) = 3

Yes, I admit it. I have a problem. Far too many problems, in fact, and all four wheeled. Unfortunately, I also have a fully equipped workshop, plenty of parking spaces and a fully comprehensive trader’s policy, all of which combine to only facilitate my problem. Here we go again….