robinmasters

Bare black steel wheels are the way to go. When I 'put the hammer down' I often get mistaken for a NASCAR.

Fucking weather is relenting, wanker little kids outside making too much noise right into the night, and now there is this fucking wanker twat outside who has taken to shouting and screaming in the evening to make the stupid little girls in the street giggle. This is starting to royally piss me off, I'd like to shoot the little fucker. I seriously cannot wait to pack up and leave.

 

I feel very sorry for my next-door neighbours where the noisy bastard kids have taken to sitting on thier wall, shouting, screaming as if thier fucking deaf or something.

You could try one of those high pitched noise generator things, that adults can't hear. Used engine oil is probably more entertaining to watch though.

When did a remake of a film become a fucking 'reboot'?

About the same time tossers started calling a series of films a 'franchise'.

Do they pay by weight?

 

 

Ginger ones are worth considerably less. The RSPCA woman there is just about to put that one in a clear plastic sack with the rest of the recycling.

See below. I was getting 38mpg flooring it everywhere, not that flooring it makes it go much faster. 

Normally the roads around here are LITTERED with broken down BMWs and Audis for some reason.  Most of them in the 3-7 year old bracket.

That's invariably what's broken down at the side of the motorway near me. I suspect it's because German cars are reliable*, which most people think means 'don't ever need servicing'.

Sold a Montego to a bloke from Birmingham (I'm in Kent), and he turned up gone 9pm, with his entire family. He was, apparently, really happy with the badly-handling, rusty deathtrap. His family seemed slightly less pleased about the whole adventure.

They're made at least 47 times worse by the advert with the optician with an eyebrow piercing, telling you buying one will make you an in-der-vid-yooo-al. Eyebrow piercings obviously aren't quite as closely associated with chav lesbians over the water.

I was passed by one of these on the M42 today

 

I saw this on a 206 today; a silver one, with aquamarine bumpers. It looked very bad.

All Ford saloons look better than their corresponding estate/hatchback version:

Nissan Duke.

In general, estates age better than saloons. 

flat4alfa's new XM-in the eBay listing there's a Xantia in the background with the registration XAN71A. 

Never impose any sort of timescale on repairs.

As soon as you start replacing part A, you will discover:

-You don't have the correct tool. You have the tool the BoL told you you'd need, and the one the internet said you'd actually need, but your car was produced in the three hour period they used different fittings

-Part B also needs replacing, and you don't have one. Car is in bits, so you'll have to walk to the motor factors.

- Part C needs cutting off. See above re availability  / obtaining of said part.

- All the 'blind' fixings will be seized/rounded off.

- It will be raining.

Something's wrong, I enter my fuel purchases in litres.

 

Also the 20% error comes from the different size of a US and Imperial gallon.

 

Trivia fans will be happy to know that this difference comes from the yanks not having enough fluid ounces in their pints. 

I'll consider myself lucky I don't have to buy hats by volume then. 

Stupid Fuelly question- set on 'UK' , which it says is litres / miles / mpg. However, I still have to put the fuel I buy in gallons and price per gallon, so I have to convert it myself (yes, using the correct conversion, 4.54). Which is fine. 

The problem is, it shows my fuel use in litres as being 20% more than it actually is. I've been putting the figures in, ignoring the result, and working it out myself!

Do the AX and the Cavalier count as 'shinies', and as such have four or five times the value of the others?

Why do people lower their car seats? It looks stupid, must be difficult to get in and out of, and everyone who sees you driving assumes your a midget. 

I find it tends to happen just before you finish taking something apart, just as you're thinking 'Only took an hour to get it apart, that's the hard part-I'll be done in time for dinner and The Professionals.'.

It's easy for you lot to be glib about it, but I've got a digital clock in my car. If the FBI decide to target me, I could arrive somewhere slightly late.

I sincerely hope you used a hands-free device....

I waited until I got home!

I'd go Rover 620ti. Totally anonymous but rapid.  

Excellent suggestion. 

I think I'd go for one of these:

(a 3l 24v one, obviously)

Or one of these:

Parcel delivery drivers must be on tight deadlines this week.

I passed one on the motorway yesterday, in the middle lane, weaving so much he was crossing over into the fast and slow lanes. Turned out he was texting. I learned on the horn as I went past, he didn't even look up from his phone. 

I doubt the police would do anything based on one report, so I reported it to his employers. 

I saw one of these the other day, had to overtake it to see what it was.

http://eurostance.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Toyota-Corolla-Saloon-Rear.jpg[/mg]

*the one I saw wasn't omg-stanced though.

Why is there a big towing eye behind the handbrake? And why does the handbrake need to go so far down?

I think this may have been built to a drawing I did as an eight year old-i was rubbish at drawing cars with curves, so did everything with a ruler.