Junkman

I know. Newfangled tosh.

Well, removal of some shiny shit from China and replacing it with the old parts improved things quite a bit.
As Squire Dawson already mentioned, the real problem was entirely British, though, in form of an SU carb.
More precisely, the piston in the dashpot. There was hardly any damping oil in it, so it got filled with sewing
machine oil, which apparently is too viscuous. An ounce of proper 20W50 in conjunction with a somewhat
tighter fitting piston should sort that.
 
The fuel pump already is electric, namely one of those SU ticking time bombs. There is nothing wrong with the
ignition, so apart from a good service, I woudn't touch it.
 
The entire endeavour was terminally shite, as always.
 
After Squire's tat purchase had turned sour the first time around, he took us on a hunt for an alternative
in Stockport last Friday. Thanks God that thing was already sold when we turned up at the seller's house,
because it was a Minor.
So yesterday evening I was informed that I'm summoned to spend my Sunday in Leagues of Gentlemen,
whatever that is, territory (must be something telly addicts know about) and that the initial obscure object
of desire needs into life coaxage and retrievage.
 
So I found myself venturing into some land feeling like Lincolnshire with hills, together with two much less normal
than myself shiters on board.
I was directed to stop where the tumbleweed denseness was highest in front of the only house in a street that had
two wrecks parked in front. So I added a third one to the mix.
 
The rest was just regular shite routine. A lot of unjustified actionismn, lots of head scratchage, off takage with
some half arsed chod that broke down every few hundred yards, causing a tailback that hasn't been seen in such
a godforsaken clime since the last Austin Seven was driven to the nearest scrapyard, terminating at a pub that even
by the demanding standards set by the new GGG headquarters can be classed as delightfully shonky and
celebrating the whole ordeal as being a rousing success since we didn't get killed, nothing caught fire and no
major explosion had caused a sizeable crater.

I have to admit that I had a morbid fascination with lethal car accidents from an early age. I can't explain why, but I always had it.
For years I would select holiday destinations in the vicinity of 'famous' car crash sites and visited many of them.

Six wheels, three axles, yawn...
 

Pre facelift and yes it was:
 

 
There also was a MKI 2-door in "S-Tuning":
 

 
 
 
 
The following other Granada specials existed in .de:
 
 
 
Granada Jubiläums-Modell (1975) with 2.0 V6, Arizona-Goldmetallic paint, L-Variant with Ghia appointments
 
Granada Traveller (1977)
Granada Favorit (1977) Granada Ghia Executive (1977), 3.0 V6, black paint, Ronal alloys
Granada Saphir (1979), 2.3 or 2.8 V6, two tone paint and upper spec, limited to 600 units for Germany
Granada Holiday (1979), 2.0 or 2.3 V6, L-Variant with GL appointments. Granada Chasseur, Turnier in Roman Bronze/Tuscan Beige (1980)
Granada Topas (1981)
Granada Berlin (1982)
Granada Riche (1983)
 
There was also a Granada Savoy for Denmark.
 

Although I'm flattered that my name has been mentioned on several forii regarding this car, I must pass.
However, most of the suggestions provided all over the interwebs are bordering ridiculousness,
especially for those who know their cars.
 
The car has enough unprofessional touches to outrule it was made by a car maker, even a small scale one.
Having said that, whoever cobbled it together in his garden shed had a keen eye for shapes.

This would have been quite a no brainer:
 

Audi - German supplier of quality tools, car accessories, and live essentials such as beer and carpet slippers.
Aldi - German maker of motorcars based in Ingolstadt.

Brown - a very dark shade of beige.

Yesterday about half a mile from where I live.
 

1978 Audi 80 LS
Audi 100 5E (C2) x3
1958 Auto-Union DKW 1000S
1963 Auto-Union DKW Munga
1958 BMW 502
1971 BMW 3.0 Si (E3) x2
1971 BMW 3.0 CS
1977 BMW 525
1960 Buick LeSabre convertible
1983 Buick Electra Park Avenue
1993 Buick Park Avenue
1994 BuickRoadmaster Estate Wagon
1958 Cadillac Coupe DeVille
1959 Cadillac Sedan DeVille
1970 Cadillac Eldorado
1976 Cadillac Coupe De Ville
1961 Chrysler New Yorker 4dr hardtop
1966 Chrysler New Yorker 4dr hardtop
1973 Chrysler Newport 4dr sedan
1957 Chevrolet Bel Air Sport Coupe
1959 Chevrolet ElCamino
1973 Chevrolet Impala
1978 Chevrolet Blazer
1978 Chevrolet Camaro
1978 Chevrolet Caprice Classic x4
1981 Chevrolet Caprice Classic
1989 Chevrolet Caprice Classic
1951 Citroen 15/6
1992 Citroen BX 19 TXD Estate
1978 Citroen CX 25D Break
1985 Citroen CX 25 Gti Saloon
Citroen GS
1959 Corvette 4sp. FI
1972 Corvette Roadster
1978 Corvette Pace Car Replica
1982 Corvette Collectors Edition
1990 Corvette ZR-1
1980 De Tomaso Longchamp
1959 Dodge Coronet 4dr Sedan
1960 Dodge Dart Phoenix 2dr hardtop
1932 Ford 3w hot rod
1959 Ford Taunus 15m
1964 Ford Country Squire
1967 Ford Taunus 20m RS Hardtop (P7a)
1967 Ford Mustang GT
1979-82 Ford Taunus x5
Ford Escort MKII x6
1982-84 Ford Granada MKII facelift (I had 14 (fourteen) of them)
1992 Ford Sierra 2.0 DOHC
1989-95 Ford Scorpio 2.9i Ghia x2
1957 Imperial Crown Southampton 4dr
1958 Imperial Crown Southampton 2dr
1959 Imperial Crown convertible
1960 Imperial Custom 4dr Sedan
1961 Imperial Crown Southampton 4dr
1961 Imperial Crown Southampton 2dr
1961 Imperial Crown convertible
1962 Imperial Crown Southampton 4dr
1963 Imperial LeBaron
1966 Imperial LeBaron
Iso Grifo 7 Litri
Jaguar MK10
Lada Riva x4
1992 Lancia Thema 3.0 i.e.
Lamborghini Espada
1997 LDV Pilot
Maserati Ghibli
1954 Mercedes 300S (W186)
1971 Mercedes 280SE (W108)
1971 Mercedes 300 SEL 6.3 (W109)
1973 Mercedes 450 SEL 6.9 (W116)
1987 Mercedes 560 SEL (W126)
1970 Oldsmobile 442 W30 convertible
1984 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser
1987 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale
1951 Opel Kapitän
1959 Opel Kapitän
1971 Opel Commodore 2.8 GS
1973 Opel Admiral B
Peugeot 405 2.0 GTX auto Saloon
Peugeot 405 2.0 GTX auto Estate x2
1960 Pontiac Bonneville 4dr flattop
1972 Pontiac GTO
1973 Pontiac Grand Am
1978 Range Rover 2dr
1990 Range Rover Vogue 3.9
Renault 4L x8
Renault 16 TL x3
Renault 16 TX
Rover P6 V8 x2
Shelby American AC Cobra 427 (CSX3089) ex-Shelby team car
1972 Simca 1000 Rallye 1
1976 Triumph Dolomite 1500 HL
1981 Triumph Acclaim Trio Auto
Vauxhall Carlton 2.6 CD Estate
Vauxhall Senator 3.0 24v
 
This is not counting any company or race cars.

Let's not forget that these are prototypes. There is a long way of development ahead until they'd be ready for production.
I was still at BMW when they started to develop the e30 Touring, so it must have been 1985. The idea was born because BMW employee Max Reisböck had modified his saloon (this is NOT an urban legend!) and his car served as the first prototype.
 

 
It still took them until 1991 to develop it for production.

Only the Argentinians got a Cortina/Taunus TC3 coupe.