Justin Case

Another expensive plate from Corbetts' Straw Mafia.

It has very loud pipes and I felt it coming before I saw it!

1988 Volvo 240 GLT
Writing this in the hope it will encourage me to fix it.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this car, as I bought it for the sake of having a project while having never set foot in one before. I did however very much appreciate its style; in my opinion it looks exactly like a car should look.  Big, boxy, functional, sort of brutal, yet still with lots of attention to little details like the most excellent flush door handles, the chunky and reassuring shoulder on the bodyside and the tremendous deep-dished alloys. It has so much presence.

Inside, it's the same story with 'chunky' being the only word to describe everything. The dash is obelisk-like, the gear shifter in-your-face, the instruments big and bold, the switches industrial and heavy duty, and even the indicator and wiper stalks big, monolithic and with a somewhat satisfyingly long throw. You don't do anything in this car by accident. Driving this car after coming from a bloated modern full of needless tech, it's simply good for the soul.

At the same time, it's attractive. The corduroy effect carpet on the doors, the fine chrome accents and the use of very high quality materials make it incredibly pleasant to sit in. The buttoned heated leather seats are effectively big chunks of chesterfield sofa, and I don't think I've ever sat in a car seat that is so forgiving and yet supports your lumbar in such a healthy way.
If I have one complaint it's that the centre console is so chunky that it can impede on my left knee, but then I have been told I 'sit funny', and to be fair I have the same problem with many RWD cars that have large transmission tunnels. The Lexus LS400 is way worse in this regard.
It doesn't feel like a luxury or even an upmarket car, as such. It is completely unpretentious. But it does feel like someone set out to build something that does everything to the best of its ability, and to last a lifetime. This one hasn't been babied, yet there isn't a single crack or chip in the dash or instruments after 35 years, and I suspect you'd have to really be abusing it to cause one. 
For an 80's car a surprising amount of thought has went into storage. It has door pockets that have bottle holders. It has shelves and cubbyholes everywhere, plus a cavernous glovebox. It even has an indent under the windscreen for holding coins in the days you'd pay tolls manually. The boot is big enough to hold a number of dead bodies and or several hundred grand of coke.
All of the instruments are backlit in a way I can only describe as '80's', which is stunning. 

The sound system has plenty of volume and is surprisingly clear and crisp, but has hardly any bass.  Adjusting the mini-EQ on the head unit only results in distortion. The small door speakers lack the power to give low frequencies a chance. I suspect a speaker upgrade would be needed to get the full benefit of the head unit which itself is actually very good.

Driving the car at first is a little bit disconcerting as the power steering is unfathomably light. No doubt this was meant to appeal to those who didn't like the idea of driving a 'big' car but I'd definitely say it crosses the line into being over-assisted.  As such, it really never does feel like a big car especially when navigating tight spaces or parking.  The shape is so square, the visibility so good and the mirrors so huge that you're never in any doubt as to where exactly you're putting it. This is a car a learner could drive.
The visibility makes driving in general a very relaxing experience. Motorway driving in particular is much easier with the narrow pillars and wide mirrors giving you almost no blind spot to worry about.

The B230E 2.3 mechanically injected engine is the opposite of rev-happy. It's torquey. It drives like a diesel. Most of the power is available from around 1000RPM and pulls hard to around 3500rpm, where it smoothly tapers off.  Country and motorway driving is supremely relaxed, and gear changes are few and far between. RPM at 70mph is around 2500, at which point the engine is mostly drowned out by road noise. Smooth and supremely competent is the best way to describe it.  0-60 is around 11 seconds, which although it isn't even warm, it's enough to never feel slow .
Pushing the car on a twisty road was an eye-opener for me. It didn't take me long to realise it is surprisingly capable for such a big sensible safety-focused lump.  At no point does the car feel heavy or unbalanced.  The GLT has a lower, stiffer setup from other trims and it can be thrown around with significant enthusiasm without ever feeling unwieldy. The biggest surprise is how accurate the steering is at speed, even on uneven ground, especially given how overassisted it feels. It's a car that can be flicked into place without much thought and is surprisingly eager to corner.  There always feels like there's plenty of torque available just when you need it, and the brakes are possibly the strongest and most reassuring I've felt.
Some of the competence must come from how incredibly solid this car is. I've had the pleasure* of welding it back together and can say with confidence it may be one of the strongest cars ever built. The steel is twice as thick as some cars. The pillars even have an integrated roll cage of sorts. It's absolute overkill.

Where the car really shines is in poor weather, snow, or rough ground. The suspension has plenty of travel and never feels crashy, and the back end always feels more planted than you'd expect. Driving through floods and snow it still feels always competent and almost feels like it relishes the prospect of a good storm. If you wanted a simple, solid, comfortable car to drive to the Arctic Circle tomorrow, make no mistake, you'd want a 240.

Except when it's broken (as mine is).

Has there been a mention of the Yugo 1100 yet. I went with father in law when he test drove a new one.  I also drove it for a short while but the only thing I remember of it was it was impossible to shut  the passenger door as the handle bent when you tried to. 

 

When I was 18 I was offered a swap for my Mk4 Executive , a MK1 Cortina 2 door in Alan Mann racing colours with Dunlop Alloys and was badged as a Lotus. It had a 1500GT and full GT/Lotus interior. All absolutely spotless, at the last minute I backed out because the log book was for a 1200 deluxe, what an idiot.
In the years since there have been hundreds, in fact a mate and me used to have a ritual driving home from auctions; “ shoulda bid again on that..”
My latest was the Quattroprte  that I could have had for £4000 about 12 months ago, at the time I got sensible and spent £2000 more on a 2.2diesel Jag because I might need it for work, a few months later I got a real job and the Jag has only done about 2,000 miles in a year. Although it was probably a lucky escape, a friend of a friend bought it, I saw him at a party last weekend and he was driving a courtesy car   from work, he’s a mechanic at Porsche Silverstone.  Apparently it wouldn’t start one evening after work and he, his mates and all the technology at their disposal , plus phoning a Maserati dealership for advice can’t get it to start.

 
But just look at it.
 

About 12 years ago, one the same as this. £9k at the garage that looked after the 156. Shortly afterwards met the owner (and car) at an Italian Car Day, he offered it to me for £8k with a hint it could be less. Unfortunately I let t go as most of my work driving was around town :

My guess is the inside of that caravan is even bleaker than a narrow strip of grass on a major bypass. 

Now, where I have seen that before? Ah yes, I remember:

Note to six-cylinder: If you have any ideas of turning your own FOD into anything like this  above, please erect a sensor which will automatically lock out anyone who can and actually will write utter shit like this:
One afternoon we take a 25-minute taxi ride (about £20 from Field of Dreams) to an industrial estate on the northern outskirts of Derby to the newly opened Withers Gin School, where botanicals maestro Edward Gibson distills the essence of artisan gin manufacture into a well-oiled, entertainingly educational two and half hours.
😄
 
 

Note to six-cylinder: If you have any ideas of turning your own FOD into anything like this  above, please erect a sensor which will automatically lock out anyone who can and actually will write utter shit like this:
One afternoon we take a 25-minute taxi ride (about £20 from Field of Dreams) to an industrial estate on the northern outskirts of Derby to the newly opened Withers Gin School, where botanicals maestro Edward Gibson distills the essence of artisan gin manufacture into a well-oiled, entertainingly educational two and half hours.
😄
 
 

Note to six-cylinder: If you have any ideas of turning your own FOD into anything like this  above, please erect a sensor which will automatically lock out anyone who can and actually will write utter shit like this:
One afternoon we take a 25-minute taxi ride (about £20 from Field of Dreams) to an industrial estate on the northern outskirts of Derby to the newly opened Withers Gin School, where botanicals maestro Edward Gibson distills the essence of artisan gin manufacture into a well-oiled, entertainingly educational two and half hours.
😄
 
 

Took the Oxford out for some Exercise (grabbing fuel for Elgrand so I could top it up at the station cos the Burd said needle didn't move today!)
Started right up within 2 turns, choke off after 30secs.
Short hop (500 yards to petrol station) started again no issue.

1.5 miles to the Elgrand. Started fine after I put the petrol in the Elgrand.
300yards to the co-op to get dinner. Started fine.

Took scenic route home, ran fine.
Got passed by a 2JZ Soarer in fantabulous skidder condition - sounded ace.
Caught them at next traffic lights, pulled up in left lane to much waving and 👍
Had him off the line! From 0-0.5mph🤣
Fair few toots/waves/weans stopping and pointing.
All in all, BRAW.
 

1999 again outside mine right now...
 

Mot seems to be flavour of the week, so: Mazda 6 passed its Mot today, after a new front coil spring had been fitted 🙂 Some minor*  defects and advisories, but nothing too serious, a couple of hundred would probably put it right ( first mention of rust in 16 years and isn't too bad) However only did 900 miles in the last year so really a bit of an extravagance to keep for another year.
 
Date tested
12 April 2023 PASS Mileage 83,344 miles Test location View test location   MOT test number 2068 5339 5849 Expiry date 11 April 2024 Repair as soon as possible (minor defects):
Nearside Side repeater lens defective which has no effect on emitted light lens missing (4.4.1 (b) (i))
Battery insecure but not likely to fall from carrier (4.13 (a) (i)) Monitor and repair if necessary (advisories): Front Brake pad(s) wearing thin not dangerous (1.1.13 (a) (ii)) Front Tyre worn close to legal limit/worn on edge both tyres worn on both edges (5.2.3 (e)) vehicle rusting on under side

It's true though... 50 years ago I was one of the many avid watchers of Tomorrow's World on BBC.  Every week Raymond Baxter, James Burke, Judith Hann and Michael Rodd took great pains to tell us how much better our lives would be in the future when all this technology became normal and commonplace.
They lied.
Ok we have the internet, which is simultaneously a massive positive and a vast, deadly, crime-ridden sewer, but I suppose that second is just human influence.
Ditto card payment, and contactless.
But the rest?  It's all rubbish.  Worse, it's all cynically marketed at the consumer as the greatest thing since sliced bread, and the consumer laps it up.  Said consumer spends every penny he doesn't have, lining the pockets of those at the top of the chain, who do precisely nothing of any value.
Anyone know the story of The Emperor's New Clothes?

I'd forgotten about the Horsey Horseless.

Seen this afternoon. Newish Rolls Royce convertible with number CLA5Y (yes, spaced like that) I assume that the irony of that was lost on the owner

Seen this afternoon. Newish Rolls Royce convertible with number CLA5Y (yes, spaced like that) I assume that the irony of that was lost on the owner

Seen this afternoon. Newish Rolls Royce convertible with number CLA5Y (yes, spaced like that) I assume that the irony of that was lost on the owner

Mrs C and I are apparently car fanatics on the level of Jeremy Clarkson to everyone that we know, and neither of us even watch Top Gear. To the great unwashed who we know, two of us owning three cars is either sheer fanaticism or complete lunacy. It is good to come on here where no doubt the reaction would be 'only three cars for both of you' 😮

Mrs C and I are apparently car fanatics on the level of Jeremy Clarkson to everyone that we know, and neither of us even watch Top Gear. To the great unwashed who we know, two of us owning three cars is either sheer fanaticism or complete lunacy. It is good to come on here where no doubt the reaction would be 'only three cars for both of you' 😮

i’m very lucky as my neighbour two doors along is known as the local car guy so ends up helping the rest of the street with their motoring woes  i suspect my reputation is more of a cack handed bodger as i rarely get asked 

Mrs C and I are apparently car fanatics on the level of Jeremy Clarkson to everyone that we know, and neither of us even watch Top Gear. To the great unwashed who we know, two of us owning three cars is either sheer fanaticism or complete lunacy. It is good to come on here where no doubt the reaction would be 'only three cars for both of you' 😮

@sutty2006 the engineer at a boatyard I used to visit was great for this. People would ask him to look at their car so he would go along get them to open the bonnet. He would hold the bonnet up and ask them to start the car. "yeah rev it up"  he'd then drop the bonnet say "it's fucked" and walk off. Even boat owners were treated the same. The boatyard owner would tell them he could get the engineer to have a look "but I know what he will say"